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Cat Fish

Cat fish play and leap witter-wotter. Over slow yonder. Purple mountains, apple skys, and jam taste like yip. Yap cat fish grew, so fast they licked ripe grass. Lumber slumbers in cat fish numbers. Lovers and muggers fall in deep cat fish reign. Cat fish took a long slumber on there yonder and were eaten by cat fish toddlers. The end!

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Drawing a Purple Blank Verse after Gelett BURGESS Purple Cow

DRAWING A PURPLE BLANK VERSE
Kindly refer to notes

I've never cowed to purple prose
know now I'll never write it,
for anyhow true writer knows
hand stretched finds critics bite it.

I've never wowed, and goodness knows
hacks lack the knack of versing,
won't bow, kowtow to backhand blows,
preferring role reverse_sing.

Ah, yes, I wrote on purple prose,
yet can't regret I penned it,
one far prefers rhyme's timeless flows,
no blush need rush defend it.


10 February 2009
robi03_1856_burg01_0001 PWX_IXX

Parody Gelett BURGESS The Purple Cow

Author notes

For original and variations on a theme see bekiw
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
THE PURPLE COW

I never saw a Purple Cow,
I never hope to see one,
But I can tell you anyhow,
I’d rather see than be one.


Gelett BURGESS 1866_1951
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
CONFESSION

Ah, yes! I wrote the « Purple Cow » -
I’m Sorry, now, I Wrote it,
But I can Tell you Anyhow
I’ll Kill you if you Quote it.

Gelett BURGESS 1866_1951
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
A Perfect Woman

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Def Jam In The Motherland

(Intro: LL Cool J)
Yeah, yeah, checkin' 'em out
Special shout-out, keepin' on
Check it out y'all, my man in the house...
(LL Cool J)
Corkunrun absolute killer of all
Take her blood, bouncin' heads like balls
Murderer, somethin' mutilater of Amiga
I get ill, so blood spills, everytime I speak
Drivin' Bombs that inveterate your ego
Suckers all weird, no let the best go migo
They talk and talk, I invade and take over
Forget Mako, you gonna need a make-over
I'm ferocious, animalistic, an animal
On the mic - I'm a cannibal
I eat livers, hearts, legs and arms
They crown me the King of doin' nothin' but harm
I'm two with the Universe and I'ma make you
diverse, make I kill quick, so you'll win from crew to hers
I'ma Titan, keepin' you frightened
I went to the Motherland, so now I'm enlightened
There's a...
(Chorus: LL Cool J)
Def Jam in the Motherland, Def Jam in the Motherland
Def Jam in the Motherland, in the Motherland
It's a Def Jam in the Motherland, Def Jam in the Motherland
Def Jam in the Motherland, in the Motherland
(LL Cool J)
For bow-take to far cynical of Egypt
Cool J I'm slay and I'm fully equipped
to decapatate, amputate and take titles
The legend of leather, I'ma real live idol
Damn I take souls, condemn we men
and make microphones men again and again
Cause, I'm blood thirsty watch and try to curse me
You'll lose the battle even if you out re-hearsed me
I'ma rip holes watch heads roll, like a mole
when I'm strollin' with my neck on a goal
My battles' like a blackout, you can't back out
Only difference, no time to feel a track out
It's a...
(Chorus: LL Cool J)
Def Jam in the Motherland, Def Jam in the Motherland
Def Jam in the Motherland, in the Motherland
It's a Def Jam in the Motherland, Def Jam in the Motherland
Def Jam in the Motherland, in the Motherland
(LL Cool J)
So come forward, admit you're guilty
Admit that your thoughts of New Jack killed me
Admit you were sleepin' on the skills of L

[...] Read more

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Oxymoron

Oxymoron:
fresh fish

*********


JBO:

'The beach at Sanibel... an Arlington Cemetery of shells.'
*
Every suffocated or strangled fish is first given
waterboarding sensations.
*
Fishes more frequently than
mammals or birds are cut open
alive, while their eyes watch
the knifing of others and their
gills struggle for absent air.

Fish cannot scream.
Greed for suffocated fish flesh causes seals to be clubbed in Canada, Norway, S Africa etc., dolphins to be knifed in Japan, whales to be murdered by
Norwegian Japanese Icelandic and American Inuit fishermen, bears
to be murdered in Alaska, untold thousands of fishermen to
be lost in tsunamis,700 Bangladesh fishermen lost in just 1 storm, Thai fishermen working for slave wages, tens of millions around
the world to die of stomach cancer, food poisoning etc.**


What's in fish? unreported Mad Fish
Disease, nuclear toxins a million
times more concentrated than in
sea water, AIDS from unprocessed
human waste dumped into
the oceans, hepatitis, anaphylactic shock, ecoli,
and other food poisoning,
throat, stomach and other cancers,
mercury, lead, cadmium, arsenic, pbb's, pcb's, thousands
of carcinogenic industrial waste products, and heavy metal sired
brain damage, pfiesteria (red tide) which poisons the fishes

FISH CAN'T SCREAM, FISH TOXINS, FISH STORIES

Are all anglers stranglers?


Dick Gregory: Eating fish liver oil is like eating the filter out of a car.

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I Aint Been Licked

(nickolas ashford/valerie simpson)
Roll down the gangway
So theyll see that its me
I know theyll wonder about my recovery
Yes, I lost a love that promised happiness
What my heart wouldnt accept
Put me to the test
They keep a holding me down
But I rise
Yes it can be done
They keep a holding me down
But I rise
They cant make me run
Keep a holding me down
But I rise
Got my second wind
Keep a holding me down
But I rise
Tell em Im back again
Just say
I aint been licked
I aint been licked
I aint been licked
Tell em for me
I aint been licked
Like outa nowhere my whole world fell apart
Till this day no one knows
What I felt in my heart
All those precious things
Inside me tried to still
Hands I thought would help
Pushed me over the hill
Keep a holding me down
But I rise
Yes, it can be done
Keep a holding me down
But I rise
They cant make me run
Keep a holding me down
But I rise
Got my second wind
Keep a holding me down
But I rise
Tell em Im back again
Just say
I aint been licked
I aint been licked
I aint been licked
Tell em for me
I aint been licked

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How Do You Like It

Keith sweat & left eye
(appears on the album get up on it)
How do you like it when I do it just like this (ho)
How do you like it when I do it just like that
How do you like it when I do it just like this
How do you like it when I do it just like that
Chorus:
And all the gangstas say (ho)
And all the gangstas say (ho)
And all the gangstas say (ho)
And all the gangstas say (ho)
I dont wanna do you wrong baby (do you wrong)
I just wanna treat you right (treat you right baby)
Come and lay with me my girl (lay with me)
I just wanna serve you right
How do you like it baby
Nice and slow boy
Tell me how do you want it baby
Here we go my baby
Tell me girl what makes you feel good my baby
Nice and slow boy
Tell me girl how do you like it baby
Here we go my baby
I want my back promises
How do you like it when I do it just like this
Come on come on come on
How do you like it when I do it just like that
Do you like it when I do it like this to you baby
How do you like it when I do it just like this
Tell me how do you like it girl
How do you like it when I do it just like that (yea)
Chorus
Come on girl and taste this lovin girl
Taste this love
That you know I got for you
Got for you baby
I just wanna lay you down
Down with me
That is what I wanna do
How do you like it baby
Nice and slow boy
Tell me girl how do you want me baby baby
Here we go my baby
Tell me how you like it sugar
Nice and slow boy
I wanna know how you want it baby
Here we go my baby
Girl I got to know girl
How do you like it when I do it just like this
Aint nothin but a jam

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Jam

Starting over
To feel the way I do
A sudden stranger
To everything I knew
All the years together
Now the days we are apart
New experiences
New sensation for the heart
But you know that you will go back
Where you used to
Jam
Got to get some jam
Jam
Got to get some
To be alone was frightening
But I knew I had to stay
til all the dreamers came
To take my loneliness away
But you know that you will go back
Where you used to
Jam
Got to get some jam
Jam
Youve got to get some
If all our life is dancing
Then lets just let the music play
What good is crying?
Im going to jam my life away
But you know that you will go back
Where you used to
Jam
Where you used to
Jam
Jam
Jam
Jam
Starting over
To feel the way I do
A sudden stranger
To everything I knew
But you know that you will go back
Where you used to
But you know that you will go back
Where you used to
Jam
Got to get some jam
Jam
Got to get some
Jam
Got to get some jam

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Cameron

Cameron the cat would never miss a trick –
Often in the garden on patrol.
Otherwise sleeping, though frequently meeting
His one and only love – that earthen bowl!

Cameron the cat took everything for granted -
Sure, the street lay under his control.
Contentedly snoozing – perhaps he 'd been boozing –
And toasting all that counts: his dearest bowl!

Cameron the cat would seek to take advantage –
His gullible owners often on parole.
Purring pathetically, and almost poetically,
He'd meow them into stacking up his bowl!

Cameron the cat was nonetheless a gem –
His owners saw him as their heart and soul,
But having to accept that he was so adept
At persuading them to fill his flipping bowl!

Copyright © Mark R Slaughter 2009


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Suicide Lovers

suicide lovers 6x
suicide lovers are always there in the dark still together
still huging eachother still holding eachother up
suicide lovers are the only ones in the dark
shering ther feeling and shering ther thoughts
feeling pain and feeling love thinking about dieing
and thinking about been with eachotherno matter what
they talk about how there going to die together
holding hands and deareming about the day that comes

suicide lovers are the only ones int he dark still
hugging eachother and holding eachother up dreaming
about love and dreaming about the heart when it stops
we all die and we'll never give it up they think life has no point
theres nothing in the worldfor them exept for eachother
ther thinking about having a baby and dieing together

suicide lovers have a babythere baby is growing up good
and strong. healthy and stands up for herself the
she finds a guy just like her they are together forevere
they will never give it up ther love becomes pure and up ther
thinking about marriageand having a baby of there own
they have a son there dreams come truethey will call him
skyler a name they both like, they are thinking about another
baby so they have a girl and call her carli they thought that carli was
a goog name for there child skyler and carli are getting along
one is 17 and one is 21, damb they grow ou fast and strong
i cant belive what they been throug years dreaming and thinking
the world of each other they both find ther one and the both
are happy so they will be together forever! !
suicide lovers, suicide lovers, suicide lovers
suicide suicide i already diiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeedddddd...... loverrrrrrrrrrrrrss
suicide lovers suicide lovers are always in the dark

suicide lovers 6x
suicide lovers are always there in the dark still together
still huging eachother still holding eachother up
suicide lovers are the only ones in the dark
shering ther feeling and shering ther thoughts
feeling pain and feeling love thinking about dieing
and thinking about been with eachotherno matter what
they talk about how there going to die together
holding hands and deareming about the day that comes

suicide lovers are the only ones int he dark still
hugging eachother and holding eachother up dreaming
about love and dreaming about the heart when it stops
we all die and we'll never give it up they think life has no point
theres nothing in the worldfor them exept for eachother
ther thinking about having a baby and dieing together

[...] Read more

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Jam Karet

i do not measure the space between
moments of pleasure we'll someday see
if you need a reason let me know
if you need the answer you will know
if you say tomorrow you will go you will go away
chorus
there is no limit
jam karet jam karet
open every window
jam karet
there is no limit
jam karet jam karet
i do not measure the distance
or instigate any resistance
if you need a reason let me know
if you need the answer you will know
if you say tomorrow you will go you will go away
chorus
there is no limit
jam karet jam karet
open every window
jam karet
there is no such thing as time
stretching every minute
jam karet jam karet
there is no limit
jam karet jam karet
i'll light the fire within you
you can make mountains move too
bridge
ooh with my truer friends
i do not notice when the clocks unwind
chorus
there is no limit
jam karet jam karet
open every window
jam karet jam karet
there is no such thing as time
stretching every minute
jam karet jam karet
as long as we are in it
jam karet jam karet
chorus

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Jam Karet (Time Is Elastic)

I do not measure the space between
Moments of pleasure we'll someday see
If you need a reason let me know
If you need the answer you will know
If you say tomorrow you will go, you will go away
(Chorus)
There is no limit
Jam Karet Jam Karet
Open every window
Jam Karet
There is no limit
Jam Karet Jam Karet
I do not measure the distance
Or instigate any resistance
If you need a reason let me know
If you need the answer you will know
If you say tomorrow you will go, you will go away
(Chorus)
There is no limit
Jam Karet Jam Karet
Open every window
Jam Karet
(There is no such thing as time)
Stretching every minute
Jam Karet Jam Karet
There is no limit
Jam Karet Jam Karet
I'll light the fire within you
You can make mountains move too
(Bridge)
Ooh with my truer friends
I do not notice when the clocks unwind
(Chorus)
There is no limit
Jam Karet Jam Karet
Open every window
Jam Karet Jam Karet
(There is no such thing as time)
Stretching every minute
Jam Karet Jam Karet
As long as we are in it
Jam Karet Jam Karet
(Chorus

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I Licked The Wine

I licked the wine I licked sweet wine.
I licked chill wine off inflamed face.
I never left lingering incriminating;
any sticky dew rose red untasted trace.

I licked the wine; I licked full-blooded rose red wine.
I licked dew wine off dawn bud tender trembling lips.
I licked love undulating curves beneath vibrato hips;
in a song of time we dance summer ripe passions of vine.

I licked the wine; I licked sweet wine in memorial to time.
I licked chill wine off cherry sweet ripe youths luscious tits.
I licked while she swallowed tongue probing penetrating tips;
in love shines rebirth bright in festive season of harvest vine.

I licked the wine; I licked full-blooded rose red wine.
I licked while she screamed song orgasmic liquid joy.
I licked while white hot mouth savoured; new found wondrous toy;
in love we enshrine immortality posterity born in wedded love rhyme.


Copyright © Terence George Craddock
Written in March 1996 on the 26.3.1996.

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Purple Pain-A Parody

Inspired by Barny the purple dinosaur

Parody of Prince's song Purple Rain


Purple pain
You were always meant I know
To cause me sorrow
You were always meant I know
To make me wanna bleed my own blood and gouge out my eyes
You were always meant I know
To cause me pain
Now all I ever want
Since I saw you on my tv screen is for you
You damm purple pain to drown
In the purple rain


Purple pain
Purple pain
Purple pain
Purple pain
Purple pain
Purple pain


I only want to see you drowning in the purple rain
Oh you damm purple pain


I never wanted my kids to love you
I only thought of you as some kind of fiend
Barney, I could never stand you for another minute
So my television now I must turn off
Even through I know it would make my babies cry
It's such a shame that your lifetime has't come to a end
Oh, oh yes it is


Purple pain
Purple pain
Purple pain
Purple pain
Purple pain
Purple pain


I only wanted to see you drown
You damm purple pain
In the purple rain

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Byron

Canto the Second

I
Oh ye! who teach the ingenuous youth of nations,
Holland, France, England, Germany, or Spain,
I pray ye flog them upon all occasions,
It mends their morals, never mind the pain:
The best of mothers and of educations
In Juan's case were but employ'd in vain,
Since, in a way that's rather of the oddest, he
Became divested of his native modesty.

II
Had he but been placed at a public school,
In the third form, or even in the fourth,
His daily task had kept his fancy cool,
At least, had he been nurtured in the north;
Spain may prove an exception to the rule,
But then exceptions always prove its worth -—
A lad of sixteen causing a divorce
Puzzled his tutors very much, of course.

III
I can't say that it puzzles me at all,
If all things be consider'd: first, there was
His lady-mother, mathematical,
A—never mind; his tutor, an old ass;
A pretty woman (that's quite natural,
Or else the thing had hardly come to pass);
A husband rather old, not much in unity
With his young wife—a time, and opportunity.

IV
Well—well, the world must turn upon its axis,
And all mankind turn with it, heads or tails,
And live and die, make love and pay our taxes,
And as the veering wind shifts, shift our sails;
The king commands us, and the doctor quacks us,
The priest instructs, and so our life exhales,
A little breath, love, wine, ambition, fame,
Fighting, devotion, dust,—perhaps a name.

V
I said that Juan had been sent to Cadiz -—
A pretty town, I recollect it well -—
'T is there the mart of the colonial trade is
(Or was, before Peru learn'd to rebel),
And such sweet girls—I mean, such graceful ladies,
Their very walk would make your bosom swell;
I can't describe it, though so much it strike,
Nor liken it—I never saw the like:

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The Four Seasons : Summer

From brightening fields of ether fair disclosed,
Child of the Sun, refulgent Summer comes,
In pride of youth, and felt through Nature's depth:
He comes attended by the sultry Hours,
And ever fanning breezes, on his way;
While, from his ardent look, the turning Spring
Averts her blushful face; and earth, and skies,
All-smiling, to his hot dominion leaves.
Hence, let me haste into the mid-wood shade,
Where scarce a sunbeam wanders through the gloom;
And on the dark-green grass, beside the brink
Of haunted stream, that by the roots of oak
Rolls o'er the rocky channel, lie at large,
And sing the glories of the circling year.
Come, Inspiration! from thy hermit-seat,
By mortal seldom found: may Fancy dare,
From thy fix'd serious eye, and raptured glance
Shot on surrounding Heaven, to steal one look
Creative of the Poet, every power
Exalting to an ecstasy of soul.
And thou, my youthful Muse's early friend,
In whom the human graces all unite:
Pure light of mind, and tenderness of heart;
Genius, and wisdom; the gay social sense,
By decency chastised; goodness and wit,
In seldom-meeting harmony combined;
Unblemish'd honour, and an active zeal
For Britain's glory, liberty, and Man:
O Dodington! attend my rural song,
Stoop to my theme, inspirit every line,
And teach me to deserve thy just applause.
With what an awful world-revolving power
Were first the unwieldy planets launch'd along
The illimitable void! thus to remain,
Amid the flux of many thousand years,
That oft has swept the toiling race of men,
And all their labour'd monuments away,
Firm, unremitting, matchless, in their course;
To the kind-temper'd change of night and day,
And of the seasons ever stealing round,
Minutely faithful: such the All-perfect hand!
That poised, impels, and rules the steady whole.
When now no more the alternate Twins are fired,
And Cancer reddens with the solar blaze,
Short is the doubtful empire of the night;
And soon, observant of approaching day,
The meek'd-eyed Morn appears, mother of dews,
At first faint-gleaming in the dappled east:
Till far o'er ether spreads the widening glow;
And, from before the lustre of her face,

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The Purple Cow Parodies

Gelett Burgess' original poem…

A Purple Cow

I never saw a Purple Cow,
I never hope to see one;
But I can tell you, anyhow,
I'd rather see than be one.


Poem parodied in the
style of…


John Milton


Hence, vain, deluding cows.
The herd of folly, without colour bright,
How little you delight,
Or fill the Poet's mind, or songs arouse!
But, hail! thou goddess gay of feature!
Hail divinest purple creature!
Oh, Cow, thy visage is too bright
To hit the sense of human sight.
And though I'd like, just once, to see thee
I never, never, never'd be thee!


Percy Bysshe Shelley


Hail to thee, blithe spirit!
Cow thou never wert;
But in life to cheer it
Playest thy full part
In purple lines of unpremeditated art.

The pale purple colour
Melts around thy sight
Like a star, but duller,
In the broad daylight.
I'd see thee, but I would not be thee if I might.

We look before and after
At the cattle as they browse;
Our most hearty laughter
Something sad must rouse.
Our sweetest songs are those that tell of Purple Cows.

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The Castle Of Indolence

The castle hight of Indolence,
And its false luxury;
Where for a little time, alas!
We lived right jollily.

O mortal man, who livest here by toil,
Do not complain of this thy hard estate;
That like an emmet thou must ever moil,
Is a sad sentence of an ancient date:
And, certes, there is for it reason great;
For, though sometimes it makes thee weep and wail,
And curse thy star, and early drudge and late;
Withouten that would come a heavier bale,
Loose life, unruly passions, and diseases pale.
In lowly dale, fast by a river's side,
With woody hill o'er hill encompass'd round,
A most enchanting wizard did abide,
Than whom a fiend more fell is no where found.
It was, I ween, a lovely spot of ground;
And there a season atween June and May,
Half prankt with spring, with summer half imbrown'd,
A listless climate made, where, sooth to say,
No living wight could work, ne cared even for play.
Was nought around but images of rest:
Sleep-soothing groves, and quiet lawns between;
And flowery beds that slumbrous influence kest,
From poppies breathed; and beds of pleasant green,
Where never yet was creeping creature seen.
Meantime, unnumber'd glittering streamlets play'd,
And hurled every where their waters sheen;
That, as they bicker'd through the sunny glade,
Though restless still themselves, a lulling murmur made.
Join'd to the prattle of the purling rills
Were heard the lowing herds along the vale,
And flocks loud bleating from the distant hills,
And vacant shepherds piping in the dale:
And, now and then, sweet Philomel would wail,
Or stock-doves plain amid the forest deep,
That drowsy rustled to the sighing gale;
And still a coil the grasshopper did keep;
Yet all these sounds yblent inclined all to sleep.
Full in the passage of the vale, above,
A sable, silent, solemn forest stood;
Where nought but shadowy forms was seen to move,
As Idless fancied in her dreaming mood:
And up the hills, on either side, a wood
Of blackening pines, aye waving to and fro,
Sent forth a sleepy horror through the blood;
And where this valley winded out, below,
The murmuring main was heard, and scarcely heard, to flow.

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XI. Guido

You are the Cardinal Acciaiuoli, and you,
Abate Panciatichi—two good Tuscan names:
Acciaiuoli—ah, your ancestor it was
Built the huge battlemented convent-block
Over the little forky flashing Greve
That takes the quick turn at the foot o' the hill
Just as one first sees Florence: oh those days!
'T is Ema, though, the other rivulet,
The one-arched brown brick bridge yawns over,—yes,
Gallop and go five minutes, and you gain
The Roman Gate from where the Ema's bridged:
Kingfishers fly there: how I see the bend
O'erturreted by Certosa which he built,
That Senescal (we styled him) of your House!
I do adjure you, help me, Sirs! My blood
Comes from as far a source: ought it to end
This way, by leakage through their scaffold-planks
Into Rome's sink where her red refuse runs?
Sirs, I beseech you by blood-sympathy,
If there be any vile experiment
In the air,—if this your visit simply prove,
When all's done, just a well-intentioned trick,
That tries for truth truer than truth itself,
By startling up a man, ere break of day,
To tell him he must die at sunset,—pshaw!
That man's a Franceschini; feel his pulse,
Laugh at your folly, and let's all go sleep!
You have my last word,—innocent am I
As Innocent my Pope and murderer,
Innocent as a babe, as Mary's own,
As Mary's self,—I said, say and repeat,—
And why, then, should I die twelve hours hence? I—
Whom, not twelve hours ago, the gaoler bade
Turn to my straw-truss, settle and sleep sound
That I might wake the sooner, promptlier pay
His due of meat-and-drink-indulgence, cross
His palm with fee of the good-hand, beside,
As gallants use who go at large again!
For why? All honest Rome approved my part;
Whoever owned wife, sister, daughter,—nay,
Mistress,—had any shadow of any right
That looks like right, and, all the more resolved,
Held it with tooth and nail,—these manly men
Approved! I being for Rome, Rome was for me.
Then, there's the point reserved, the subterfuge
My lawyers held by, kept for last resource,
Firm should all else,—the impossible fancy!—fail,
And sneaking burgess-spirit win the day.
The knaves! One plea at least would hold,—they laughed,—
One grappling-iron scratch the bottom-rock

[...] Read more

poem by from The Ring and the BookReport problemRelated quotes
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Jam (A Hymn of Hate)

What is meant by active service
'Ere where sin is leakin' loose,
'N' the oldest 'and's as nervis
As a dog-bedevilled goose,
Has bin writ be every poet
What can rhyme it worth a dam,
But the 'orror as we know it
Is jist jam, jam, JAM!
Oh, the 'ymn of 'ate we owe it—
Stodgy, splodgy, seepy, soaky, sanguinary
jam!

There's the “fearful roar iv battle,”
What gets underneath yer 'at,
Mooin' like a million cattle
Each as big as Ararat;
There's the red field green 'n' slippy
(And I'm cleaner where I am),
But the thing that's got me nippy
It is jam, jam, JAM!
Druv us sour it has, 'n' dippy,
Sticky, sicky, slimy, sloppy, stummick-strafin'
jam!

Of the mud that's in the trenches
Writers make a solemn fuss;
For the vermin 'n' the stenches
Little ladies pity us;
But the yearn that's honest dinkum,
'N' the prayer what ain't a sham
Is that Fritz may bust 'n' sink 'em
Ships of jam, jam, JAM!
For we bolt 'em, chew 'em, drink 'em,
Million billion bar'ls of beastly, cloyin'
clammy jam!

We are sorry-sick of peaches,
'N' we're full right up of plum,
'N' innards fairly screeches
When the tins of apple come.
Back of Blighty piled in cases,
Jist as close as they can cram,
Fillin' all the open spaces,
Is the 'jam, jam, JAM!
Oh, the woe the soldiers face is,
Monday, Sunday, ruddy, muddy, boundless
bogs of jam.

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The Ballad of the White Horse

DEDICATION

Of great limbs gone to chaos,
A great face turned to night--
Why bend above a shapeless shroud
Seeking in such archaic cloud
Sight of strong lords and light?

Where seven sunken Englands
Lie buried one by one,
Why should one idle spade, I wonder,
Shake up the dust of thanes like thunder
To smoke and choke the sun?

In cloud of clay so cast to heaven
What shape shall man discern?
These lords may light the mystery
Of mastery or victory,
And these ride high in history,
But these shall not return.

Gored on the Norman gonfalon
The Golden Dragon died:
We shall not wake with ballad strings
The good time of the smaller things,
We shall not see the holy kings
Ride down by Severn side.

Stiff, strange, and quaintly coloured
As the broidery of Bayeux
The England of that dawn remains,
And this of Alfred and the Danes
Seems like the tales a whole tribe feigns
Too English to be true.

Of a good king on an island
That ruled once on a time;
And as he walked by an apple tree
There came green devils out of the sea
With sea-plants trailing heavily
And tracks of opal slime.

Yet Alfred is no fairy tale;
His days as our days ran,
He also looked forth for an hour
On peopled plains and skies that lower,
From those few windows in the tower
That is the head of a man.

But who shall look from Alfred's hood

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Traffic Jam

Carbon monoxide
Making me choke
No a.c.
And the radios broke
Cars backed up
Far as you can see
Seems like Ive been waiting here for all eternity
Oh, and just in case youre wondering
Ill tell you where I am
Im right here (right here) right here (right here)
Stuck right here in the middle of this...
Traffic jam
I havent moved one inch from this here spot
Traffic jam
The freeways one big parking lot
Traffic jam
My radiators boiling hot
And Im stuck right here in the middle (right here in the middle)
Right here in the middle of a traffic jam
Trapped inside
My automobile
Cobwebs gowin
On the steerin wheel
Now, Im no genius
But one thing I know
I shouldnt have had that bag of bran muffins
An hour and a half ago
Yeah, and if you need to find me
Ill tell you where I am
Im right here (right here) right here (right here)
Stuck smack dab in the middle of this...
Traffic jam
I havent moved one inch from this here spot
Traffic jam
The freeways one big parking lot
Traffic jam
Well, I thought we were movin but I guess were not
cause Im stuck right here in the middle (right here in the middle)
Right here in the middle of a traffic jam
Stuck in the middle of a traffic jam
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Bumper to bumper to bumper to bumper to
Bumper to bumper to bumper to bumper to
Bumper to bumper to bumper to bumper...
Yay-hey!
Theres a yuppie on a cellular phone
Im gonna puke if I here any more
Theres a motorcycle zoomin by me
Watch what happens when I open my door
Now were all goin nowhere fast

[...] Read more

song performed by Weird Al YankovicReport problemRelated quotes
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