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Drawing a Purple Blank Verse after Gelett BURGESS Purple Cow

DRAWING A PURPLE BLANK VERSE
Kindly refer to notes

I've never cowed to purple prose
know now I'll never write it,
for anyhow true writer knows
hand stretched finds critics bite it.

I've never wowed, and goodness knows
hacks lack the knack of versing,
won't bow, kowtow to backhand blows,
preferring role reverse_sing.

Ah, yes, I wrote on purple prose,
yet can't regret I penned it,
one far prefers rhyme's timeless flows,
no blush need rush defend it.


10 February 2009
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Parody Gelett BURGESS The Purple Cow

Author notes

For original and variations on a theme see bekiw
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THE PURPLE COW

I never saw a Purple Cow,
I never hope to see one,
But I can tell you anyhow,
I’d rather see than be one.


Gelett BURGESS 1866_1951
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CONFESSION

Ah, yes! I wrote the « Purple Cow » -
I’m Sorry, now, I Wrote it,
But I can Tell you Anyhow
I’ll Kill you if you Quote it.

Gelett BURGESS 1866_1951
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A Perfect Woman


She was a Phantom of delight
When first she gleamed upon my sight;
A lovely Apparition, sent
To be a moment's ornament;
Her eyes as stars of Twilight fair;
Like Twilight's, too, her dusky hair;
But all things else about her drawn
From May-time and the cheerful Dawn;
A dancing Shape, an Image gay,
To haunt, to startle, and waylay.

I saw her upon nearer view,
A Spirit, yet a Woman too!
Her household motions light and free,
And steps of virgin-liberty;
A countenance in which did meet
Sweet records, promises as sweet;
A Creature not too bright or good
For human nature's daily food,
For transient sorrows, simple wiles,
Praise, blame, love, kisses, tears, and smiles.

And now I see with eye serene
The very pulse of the machine;
A Being breathing thoughtful breath,
A Traveller between life and death;
The reason firm, the temperate will,
Endurance, foresight, strength, and skill;
A perfect Woman, nobly planned,
To warn, to comfort, and command;
And yet a Spirit still, and bright
With something of angelic light.

William Wordsworth
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THE ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN

I’ve never seen an abominable snowman,
I’m hoping not to see one,
I’m also hoping, if I do,
That it will be a wee one.

Ogden NASH 1902_1971 Parody Gelett BURGESS – The Purple Cow
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PURPLACTIC WHEY

I've never seen a purple cow
I never hope to see one
But from the milk we're getting now
There certainly must be one

Ogden NASH 1902_1971 Parody Gelett BURGESS – The Purple Cow
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PURPLE POINT RAISED

A question 'bout a purple cow
Brings up another matter
What colour, pray, would be the steak
When sitting on the platter?

Author Unknown 0179 Parody Gelett BURGESS – The Purple Cow
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TO A COW

Corniferous wet-nurse of the human race,
Calm, comfortable cow, with placid pride
Yielding your offering at eventide
To the brown goddess who with rustic grace
Bends o’er the shining pail her knees embrace,
Clad in simple smock and apron wide
Whose fickle folds make scant pretense to hide
The lissome lines they lovingly retrace!
Now all alone, with brimming pail, she wends
Her homeward way across the field, and now
The pathway of the meadow slope ascends,
Till gathered in the purple of its brow
Her fading shape into the twilight blends,
Leaving to me the darkness – and the cow.


Oliver HERFORD

Parody Thomas GRAY – Elegy in a Country Churchyard
and Gelett BURGESS – The Purple Cow
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POE'S PURPLE COW

One lonely, gloomy, windswept eve
A mournful sound did I perceive.
I cast my eyes beyond the pane
And to my horror down the lane
Came a sight; I froze inside
A spectral cow with purple hide.

HOLLANDER Susan and David - Parody Edgar Allan POE
and Gelett BURGESS – The Purple Cow
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EMILYDICKINSON'S PURPLE COW

On far off hills
And distant rills,
Sounds a distant moo.
A purple spot
I think I caught,
Yes! I see it, too!

In Bovine majesty she stands,
Her purple tail she swings,
The amethyst cow,
To my heart somehow,
Perfect joy she brings.

And yet the thought of being
Of that race of royal hue,
Though glowing like the violet sweet,
It really would not do.

HOLLANDER Susan and David - Parody Emily Dickinson
and Gelett BURGESS – The Purple Cow
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DIVERSIONS OF THE RE-ECHO CLUB

It is with pleasure that we announce our ability to offer to the public the papers of the Re-Echo Club. This club, somewhat after the order of the Echo Club, late of Boston, takes pleasure in trying to better what is done. On the occasion of the meeting of which the following gems of poesy are the result, the several members of the club engaged to write up the well-known tradition of the Purple Cow in more elaborate form than the quatrain made famous by Mr. Gelett Burgess

'I never saw a Purple Cow,
I never hope to see one;
But I can tell you anyhow,
I'd rather see than be one.'

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I Mr. J. Milton

Hence, vain deluding cows.
The herd of folly, without colour bright,
How little you delight,
Or fill the Poet's mind, or songs arouse!
But, hail! thou goddess gay of feature!
Hail, divinest purple creature!
Oh, Cow, thy visage is too bright
To hit the sense of human sight.
And though I'd like, just once, to see thee,
I never, never, never'd be thee!

Carolyn WELLS 1869_1942 Parody Gelett BURGESS The Purple Cow
and John Milton
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II Mr. P. Bysshe Shelley

Jai to thee, blithe spirit!
Cow thou never wert;
But in life to cheer it
Playest thy full part
In purple lines of unpremeditated art.
The pale purple colour
Melts around thy sight
Like a star, but duller,
In the broad daylight.
I'd see thee, but I would not be thee if I might.
We look before and after
At cattle as they browse;
Our most hearty laughter
Something sad must rouse.
Our sweetest songs are those that tell of Purple Cows.

Carolyn WELLS 1869_1942 Parody Gelett BURGESS The Purple Cow
and Percy Bysshe SHELLEY – Ode to a Skylark
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III Mr. W. Wordsworth

She dwelt among the untrodden ways
Beside the springs of Dee;
A Cow whom there were few to praise
And very few to see.
A violet by a mossy stone
Greeting the smiling East
Is not so purple, I must own,
As that erratic beast.
She lived unknown, that Cow, and so
I never chanced to see;
But if I had to be one, oh,
The difference to me!

Carolyn WELLS 1869_1942 Parody Gelett BURGESS The Purple Cow
and William Wordsworth LUCY
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IV Mr. T. Gray

The curfew tolls the knell of parting day,
The lowing herd winds slowly o'er the lea;
I watched them slowly wend their weary way,
But, ah, a Purple Cow I did not see.
Full many a cow of purplest ray serene
Is haply grazing where I may not see;
Full many a donkey writes of her, I ween,
But neither of these creatures would I be


Carolyn WELLS 1869_1942 Parody Gelett BURGESS The Purple Cow
And Thomas GRAY – Elegy written in a Country Churchyard
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V Mr. J. W. Riley

There, little Cow, don't cry!
You are brindle and brown, I know.
And with wild, glad hues
Of reds and blues,
You will never gleam and glow.
But though not pleasing to the eye,
There, little Cow, don't cry, don't cry.

Carolyn WELLS 1869_1942 Parody Gelett BURGESS The Purple Cow
And John RILEY
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VI: Lord A. Tennyson

Ask me no more. A cow I fain would see
Of purple tint, like a sun-soaked grape -
Of purple tint, like royal velvet cape -
But such a creature I would never be -
Ask me no more.

Carolyn WELLS 1869_1942 Parody Gelett BURGESS The Purple Cow
And Alfred TENNYSON
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VII Mr. R. Browning

All that I know
Of a certain Cow
Is it can throw,
Somewhere, somehow,
Now a dart of red,
Now a dart of blue
(That makes purple, 'tis said) .
I would fain see, too.
The Cow that darkles the red and the blue!

Carolyn WELLS 1869_1942 Parody Gelett BURGESS The Purple Cow
And Robert BROWNING
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VIII Mr. J. Keats

A cow of purple is a joy forever.
Its loveliness increases. I have never
Seen this phenomenon. Yet ever keep
A brave lookout; lest I should be alseep
When she comes by. For, though I would not be one,
I've oft imagined 'twould be joy to see one.


Carolyn WELLS 1869_1942 Parody Gelett BURGESS The Purple Cow
And John KEATS – Endymion
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IX Mr. D. G. Rossetti

The Purple Cow strayed in the glade;
(Oh, my soul! but the milk is blue!)
She strayed and strayed and strayed and strayed
(And I wail and I cry Wa-hoo!) .
I've never seen her - nay, not I;
(Oh, my soul! but the milk is blue!)
Yet were I that Cow I should want to die.
(And I wail and I cry Wa-hoo!) ,
But in vain my tears I strew.

Carolyn WELLS 1869_1942 Parody Gelett BURGESS The Purple Cow
And Dante Gabriel ROSSETTI
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X Mr. T. Aldrich

Somewhere in some faked nature place,
In Wonderland, in Nonsense Land,
Two darkling shapes met face to face,
And bade each other stand.
'And who are you! ' said each to each;
'Tell me your title, anyhow.'
One said, 'I am the Papal Bull.'


Parody Carolyn WELLS 1869_1942 Parody Gelett BURGESS The Purple Cow
And Thomas Aldrich
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XI Mr. E. Allan Poe

Open then I flung a shutter,
And, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a Purple Cow which gayly tripped around my floor. Not the least obeisance made she,
Not a moment stopped or stayed she,
But with mien of chorus lady perched herself above my door.
On a dusty bust of Dante perched and sat above my door.

And that Purple Cow unflitting
Still is sitting - still is sitting
On that dusty bust of Dante just above my chamber door,
And her horns have all the seeming
Of a demon's that is screaming
And the arc-light o'er her streaming
Cast her shadow on the floor.
And my soul from out that pool of Purple shadow on the floor,
Shall be lifted Nevermore!

Carolyn WELLS 1869_1942 Parody Gelett BURGESS The Purple Cow
And Edgar Allan POE - The Raven

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XII Mr. H. Longfellow

The day is done, and the darkness
Falls from the wing of night
As ballast is wafted downward
From an airship in its flight.
I dream of a purple creature
Which is not as kine are now;
And resembles cattle only
As Cowper resembles a cow.
Such cows have power to quiet
Our restless thoughts and rude;
They come like the Benedictine
That follows after food.

Carolyn WELLS 1869_1942 Parody Gelett BURGESS The Purple Cow
And Henry Wadsworth LONGFELLOW – The Day is Done
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XIII Mr. A. Swinburne

Oh, Cow of rare rapturous vision,
Oh, purple, impalpable Cow,
Do you browse in the Dream Field Elysian,
Are you purpling pleasantly now?
By the the side of wan waves do you languish?
Or in the lithe lush of the grove?
While vainly I search in my anguish,
O Bovine of mauve!

Despair in my bosom is sighing,
Hope's star has sunk sadly to rest;
Though cows of rare sorts I am buying,
Not one breathes a balm to my breast.
Oh, rapturous, rose-crowned occasion,
When I such a glory might see!
But a cow of a purple persuasion
I never would be.

Carolyn WELLS 1869_1942 Parody Gelett BURGESS The Purple Cow
And Algernon Charles SWINBURNE Dolores
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XIV Mr. A. Dobson

I'd love to see
A Purple Cow,
Oh, Goodness me!
I'd love to see
But not to be
One. Anyhow,
I'd love to see
A Purple Cow.

Carolyn WELLS 1869_1942 Parody Gelett BURGESS The Purple Cow
And Austin DOBSON
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XV Mr. O. Herford

Children, observe the Purple Cow,
You cannot see her, anyhow;
And, little ones, you need not hope
Your eyes will e'er attain such scope.
But if you ever have a choice
To be, or see, lift up your voice
And choose to see. For surely you
Don't want to browse around and moo.

Carolyn WELLS 1869_1942 Parody Gelett BURGESS The Purple Cow
And Oliver HERFORD
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XVI Mr. H. C. Bunner

Oh, what's the way to Arcady,
Where all the cows are purple?
Ah, woe is me! I never hope
On such a sight my eyes to ope:
But as I sing in merry glee
Along the road to Arcady,
Perchance full soon I may espy
A Purple Cow come dancing by.
Heigho! I then shall see one.
Her horns bedecked with ribbons gay,
And garlanded with rosy may, -
A tricksy sight. Still I must say
I'd rather see than be one.

Carolyn WELLS 1869_1942 Parody Gelett BURGESS The Purple Cow
And H.C. BUNNER
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XVII Mr. A. Swinburne

(Who was so enthused that he made a second attempt)

Only in dim, drowsy depths of a dream do I dare to delight in deliciously dreaming
Cows there may be of a passionate purple, - cows of a violent violet hue;
Ne'er have I seen such a sight, I am certain it is but a demi-delirious dreaming -
Ne'er may I happily harbour a hesitant hope in my heart that my dream my come true.
Sad is my soul, and my senses are sobbing so strong is my strenuous spirit to see one.
Dolefully, drearily doomed to despair as warily wearily watching I wait;
Thoughts thickly thronging are thrilling and throbbing; to see is a glorious gain - but to be one!
That were a darker and direfuller destiny, that were a fearfuller, frightfuller fate!

Carolyn WELLS 1869_1942 Parody Gelett BURGESS The Purple Cow
And Algernon Charles SWINBURNE - Nepthelidia
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Spirited Reflections on a Purple Cow - after Gelett BURGESS and William Wordsworth

Kind kin[e] we see through ultra-violet light
seem now to be cowed phantoms of de-light -
but let well be, our ghosts are seen unsought,
yet set them free, pot roast has been unwrought.


23 May 1982
Parody Gelett BURGESS The Purple Cow
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