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The Doctor's Advice

If the fat-lip
Come from cat-nip,
Then on that lip
Rub some cat-nip.

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Fat

Your butt is wide, well mine is too
Just watch your mouth or Ill sit on you
The word is out, better treat me right
cause Im the king of cellulite
Ham on, ham on, ham on whole wheat, all right
My zippers bust, my buckles break
Im too much man for you to take
The pavement cracks when I fall down
Ive got more chins than chinatown
Well, Ive never used a phone booth
And Ive never seen my toes
When Im goin to the movies
I take up seven rows
Because Im fat, Im fat, come on
(fat, fat, really really fat)
You know Im fat, Im fat, you know it
(fat, fat, really really fat)
You know Im fat, Im fat, come on you know
(fat, fat, really really fat)
Dontcha call me pudgy, portly or stout
Just now tell me once again whos fat
When I walk out to get my mail
It measures on the richter scale
Down at the beach Im a lucky man
Im the only one who gets a tan
If I have one more pie a la mode
Im gonna need my own zip code
When youre only having seconds
Im having twenty-thirds
When I go to get my shoes shined
I gotta take their word
Because Im fat, Im fat, sha mone
(fat, fat, really really fat)
You know Im fat, Im fat, you know it
(fat, fat, really really fat)
You know Im fat, Im fat, you know it you know
(fat, fat, really really fat)
And my shadow weighs forty-two pounds
Lemme tell you once again whos fat
If you see me comin your way
Better give me plenty space
If I tell you that Im hungry
Then wont you feed my face
Because Im fat, Im fat, come on
(fat, fat, really really fat)
You know Im fat, Im fat, you know it
(fat, fat, really really fat)
You know Im fat, Im fat, you know it, you know
(fat, fat, really really fat)
Woo woo woo, when I sit around the house

[...] Read more

song performed by Weird Al YankovicReport problemRelated quotes
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Cameron

Cameron the cat would never miss a trick –
Often in the garden on patrol.
Otherwise sleeping, though frequently meeting
His one and only love – that earthen bowl!

Cameron the cat took everything for granted -
Sure, the street lay under his control.
Contentedly snoozing – perhaps he 'd been boozing –
And toasting all that counts: his dearest bowl!

Cameron the cat would seek to take advantage –
His gullible owners often on parole.
Purring pathetically, and almost poetically,
He'd meow them into stacking up his bowl!

Cameron the cat was nonetheless a gem –
His owners saw him as their heart and soul,
But having to accept that he was so adept
At persuading them to fill his flipping bowl!

Copyright © Mark R Slaughter 2009


[...] Read more

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Rub My Back

Track: Rub My Back
Artist: LL Cool J
Guest Artists:
Album: The DEFinition
------------------------------------------------------
Lyrics:
VERSE 1
Sippin something on the rocks
I got a shorty that makes the bed hop
I got plans to spoil you even though you saying stop
Ima drop that Phantom on you baby watch
Roberto Cavali and the Denali am I hot
Malibu beaches and Hydrofoil yachts
Badest Mercedes Lorenzos and silver fox
I keep it flowin see we goin to the top
Ima get you every thing give a damn how much you tell me stop
You want it hotter than we take it cross seas
Party jumping its bumping toking something in Belize
I know you want it sucker free
Know you wanting to shine even though you fightin me
Take it easy player talking greasy player
Know you can feel me player
Uh
You put it down tight
You not having what you want dont even sound right
HOOK
Hey lady
Can I hit you wit a wine Mercedes
Some homies gotta work em out my baby
All you do is rub my back
Rub my back
Rub my back
Rub my back
I say my baby
Watch television in the escalady
Gone shock em when you want to baby
All you do is rub my back
Rub my back
Rub my back
Rub my back
VERSE 2
Lay down for a while pretty relax a minute
A caught a feeling when you represented
Gave you that Mercedes you better get up in it
Get off the corner come and pop some vintage
You never seen a player flip ya whole life
Dip the caddy on the freeway hitten the slow light
You got a mean walk at times right
Im here to shine light I get ya mind right
Charles Jordan girl if you wanna take a hit

[...] Read more

song performed by LL Cool JReport problemRelated quotes
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Fat Lenny

Fat lennys gonna walk right into myself
Fat lennys gonna see myself (reflect it back on myself)
Fat lennys gonna lick the shellack off the window sill
And I say fat lennys gonna lick my head off
Stop by my friend fat lenny, I like him a lot (tell him about my buddy)
Hes fat lenny - what
Fat lennys gonna lick the shellack off the window sill
And I said now fat lennys gonna jump up and down (run back down the hill)
And I said now fat lenny knows what he is (to be fat lenny) cause he is fat lenny (hes my buddy)
Hes fat lenny (I know what he is to be fat lenny) cause hes my friend fat lenny
I like fat lenny, I like cause hes my friend fat lenny - fat lenny
What - you know - hes fat lenny - you know
You know hes fat lenny
Fat lennys gonna lick my brain today
Fat lenny doesnt like me anyway
Fat lenny said (my friend) today
Fat lenny
Fat lenny, fat lenny,
Fat lenny, fat lenny, fat fat fat lenny
Fat lenny, fat lenny
Fat lenny, fat lenny, fat fat fat lenny

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Nip It In The Bud

From the time the lights come on,
And from dusk 'til dawn...
You're giving me the lip!

I don't need the clock to ding-a-dong,
Since my peace is gone.
And in my ear you babble lip.

Why can't you nip it in the bud, baybay.
Why can't you handle it?

Nip it in the bud.

Why can't you take a walk as I lay?
Do whatever it takes!

But don't bother me with it!

I don't need the clock to ding-a-dong,
Since my peace is gone.
And in my ear you babble lip.
Why can't you take a walk as I lay?
Do whatever it takes!
And don't bother me with it!

Why can't you nip it in the bud, baybay.
Why can't you handle it?

Nip it in the bud.

Why can't you take a walk as I lay?
Do whatever it takes!

But don't bother me with it!

From the time the lights come on,
And from dusk 'til dawn...
You're giving me the lip!

I don't need the clock to ding-a-dong,
Since my peace is gone.
And in my ear you babble lip.

Why can't you nip this in the bud, baybay.
Why can't you handle it?

Nip it in the bud.

Why can't you take a walk as I lay?
Do whatever it takes!

[...] Read more

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Love Calling

Sun goes down I rise
Red hair flames so bright
Iced gin breaks the night
Steal into her mind
Walk without a sound
Fire in the mountains now
If you wanna rub-a-dub, rub-a-dub
If you wanna rub-a-dub, dub love
Love calling, love calling
If you wanna rub-a-dub, rub-a-dub
If you wanna rub-a-dub, dub love
Love calling
So baby rock on
Clap hands, clap hands
For the song man
Rock on, rock on
Ooo baby rock on,
Clap hands, clap hands
For the song man
Rock on, rock on
Song man dreams for you
Moves his clapping space
Turns us into snakes
Hot hits
And the blue moon move, move, move
Move until we die
Move until she cries
If you wanna rub-a-dub, rub-a-dub
If you wanna rub-a-dub, dub love
Love calling, love calling
If you wanna rub-a-dub, rub-a-dub
If you wanna rub-a-dub, dub love
Love calling
Oo baby rock on
If you wanna rub-a-dub, rub-a-dub
If you wanna rub-a-dub, dub love
Love calling, love calling
If you wanna rub-a-dub, rub-a-dub
If you wanna rub-a-dub, dub love
Love calling
So[ooo? ] baby rock on
Clap hands, clap hands
For the song man
Rock on, rock on
Ooo baby rock on,
Clap hands, clap hands
For the song man
Rock on, rock on

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Lip Lock Rock

Alright
You look at me, the world in your eyes
You say like my style
Oh yeah
You keep hopin' till I make my move
You resist and give me that smile
Oh yeah
I just want a little kiss
But you keep on playin' those nasty little tricks
I'm longing of a - (...just another kiss)
I want a lip lock rock
Lip lock rock
Lip lock rock
Lip lock rock
Whoa
You make a man so frustrated
You got my head buried in a hole
Oh no
Just tease me 'till I'm crazy
I'm runnin' out of control
I just want a little kiss
But you keep on playin' those nasty little tricks
I'm not gonna bite, I - (...just want a little kiss)
I want a lip lock rock
Lip lock rock
Lip lock rock
Lip lock rock
Whoa
Lip lock
Lip lock
Lip lock
Lip lock
Lip lock
Rock
Lip lock rock
Lip lock rock
Whoa
Lip lock rock
Lip lock rock
Oh whoa
Lip lock rock
Lip lock rock
Lip lock rock
Lip lock rock
Lip lock rock
Lip lock rock
Lip lock rock
Lip lock rock
Give it to me
Lip lock rock

[...] Read more

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Rub One Out

Performed by whoa!
Written by brian gunn, mark gun, nigel dick, julie glaze, josh schwartz, brian kierulf and andrew fromm
Mmm..yeah..oh baby..
Girl..when i think about you..i think of one thing..and you know what that is..
Only think of one thing
I lock my door
Get down on the floor
And i rub one out
I sit back in my chair
Like i just don't care
And i rub one out
When i'm feelin lonely
And i want you to hold me
I rub one out, yeah
Oh oh
Chorus
Rub one out
Hey don't be shy
(girl don't be shy)
Rub one out
Girl, don't ask me why
(don't ask me why)
Rub one out and i'll grab my crotch
(grab my crotch)
Rub one out
Do you want to watch me?
When i'm alone
And you're on the phone
I rub one out
Rub one out
When i'm feelin hot
And i'm all in a knot
I rub one out
So baby don't be shy
Don't ask why
I rub one out
Babbyyy, yeah
Chorus
Girl i wanna get inside you
All my dreams to get beside you
Ooh leave a message besides my machine
Somethin warm and sexy
And i'll rub one out cos that's the way it affects me, babe
It's not enough kissing and stuff
So i rub one out
When you're not here
And i want you near
I rub one out
Chorus

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Fat Baby

I know a man, maybe you know him, too.
You never can tell; he might even be you.
He knelt at the altar, and that was the end.
Hes saved, and thats all that matters to him.
His spiritual tummy, it cant take too much.
One day a week, he gets a spiritual lunch.
On sunday, he puts on his spiritual best,
And gives his language a spiritual rest.
Hes just a faaa...
Hes just a fat little baby!
Wa, wa, waaaaa....
He wants his bottle, and he dont mean maybe.
He sampled solid foods once or twice,
But he says doctrine leaves him cold as ice.
Ba, ba, ba, ba...ba, ba...ba, ba!
Hes been baptized, sanctified, redeemed by the blood,
But his daily devotions are stuck in the mud.
He knows the books of the Bible and john 3:16.
Hes got the biggest king james youve ever seen!
Ive always wondered if hell grow up someday.
Hes mommas boy, and he likes it that way.
If you happen to see him, tell him I said,
Hell never grow, if he never gets fed.
Hes just a fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fa-at, fat...
Fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fa-at, fat...
Fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, faaaaat...
...baby...

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100 STD's 10,000 MTD's

There are STD's, sexually transmitted diseases.
and then there are MTD's, meat transmitted diseases.

The latter take a lot more lives.

*********

In Animal Flesh: Blood Sweat Tears as well as Carcinogens Cholesterol Colon Bacteria

Animal products kill more people annually in the US than
tobacco, alcohol, traffic accidents, war, domestic violence,
guns, and drugs combined. USAMRID wrote that consumption of pig flesh caused the world's most lethal pandemic in WW1,
euphemistically called flu. Anthrax
used to be called wool sorters'
disease. Smallpox used to be called
cow pox or kine pox because of
its origin in animal flesh.
.

WHAT'S IN A BURGER? BLOOD SWEAT AND TEARS (AS WELL AS BIOTERRORISM)

POISONS IN ANIMAL AND FISH FLESH... A PARTIAL LIST


a partial list in alphabetical order

acidification diseases
addiction (to trioxypurines)
adrenalin (secreted by terrorized
animals before and during slaughter)

ANTIBIOTICS (too many to list) (crowded factory farm animals standing in their own feces are often infected)

BACTERIA
creiophilic bacteria survive
the freezing of animal flesh
thermophilic bacteria survive
the baking boiling and roasting

bacteriophages (viruses FDA allows to
be injected)
blood
colon bacteria.. euphemistically
called ecoli animals defecate
all over themselves in terror
John Harvey Kellogg MD studied
the exponential rate into the billions

BSE DISEASES, PRIONS IN SPECIES FROM GELATIN (JELLO ETC)
Mad Chicken

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Bonnie Cat

Bonnie cat o!
Bonnie cat... don't go away
Bonnie cat look! you make funny bunny crying,
Bonnie cat see it is cold and will not you
come and have me sleep in your warmth
Bonnie cat will not we play the strings of a piano together
one which made the days of summer like a swallow bird
humming into the chilly wintry nights in the command of a nightingale
Bonnie cat o!

Bonnie cat o!
Bonnie cat look i have carrot soup for you
Shall not we chase and try to fly like those duffy ducks
they now bully me bonnie cat
Bunny is so scored without you
Shall not we play in the sunshine meadows
and steal milk from the chocolate hut
Shall not you tell me again to run and get you the rainbow past you
Shall not we see the fountains emerge again and quench our thirst
Bonnie cat o!

Bonnie cat o!
Bonnie cat see our life lacks subtlety
without our sinewy power of bonding
Bonnie cat o bonnie cat!
Don't leave me for a panjandrum center
in your heart...cavort back dear!
See the bunny too have fish and chips for you
Flesh for your heart and not syringes made of bones
And heart for your flesh never ever in the mesh of bandages
Bonnie cat will not you come as Latin song
in satin clothes for my prayer's christmas gift
Bonnie cat o!

Bonnie cat o!
Bonnie cat look you made funny bunny no more irascible
In your zany droplets of fear which in i grew up
Bonnie cat without you i am lost in the turbine
where noxious gases take my breath away
It now stings like an urchin and groans like a swine
Is not it you testing my patience bonnie cat
Tell me bonnie cat don't walk away
Word does make an image of fascination
but pain does not when i convey am really in
Bonnie cat...
my sweet bonnie cat
Bonnie cat o!

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Stiff Upper Lip

(young - young)
Well I was out on a drive
On a bit of a trip
Lookin for thrills
To get me some kicks
Now I warn you ladies
I shoot from the hip
I was born with a stiff
Stiff upper lip
Like a dog in a howl
I bite everything
And Im big and Im drawl
And Ill ball your thing
I keep a stiff upper lip
And I shoot from the hip
I keep a stiff upper lip
And I shoot
And I shoot
Shoot from the hip
Yeah I shoot from the hip
Now listen
Well Im workin it out
And Ive done everything
And I cant reform no
Can you feel my sting
Babe I keep a stiff upper lip
And I shoot from the hip, yeah
I keep a stiff upper lip
And I shoot
And I shoot
And I shoot, shoot, shoot
Shoot from the hip
Well Im out on the prowl
And Ill ball your thing
I got the teeth thatll bite you
Can you feel my sting
Babe I keep a stiff upper lip
And I shoot from the hip
I keep a stiff upper lip
And I shoot shoot shoot from the hip
I got a (stiff upper lip)
Better believe me (stiff upper lip)
Comin down (stiff upper lip)
See my (stiff upper lip)
Yeah I got a (stiff upper lip)
Stiff upper lip
Stiff upper lip
I got a stiff upper lip
I got a stiff upper lip
Stiff upper lip

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song performed by AC-DCReport problemRelated quotes
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Run My Back

[Verse 1: LL Cool J]
Sippin somethin on the rocks
I got a shorty that makes the bed hop
I got plans to spoil you even though you sayin stop
Ima drop that phantom on you baby watch
Roberto Cavali and the Denali, am I hot?
Malibu Beaches and hydrofoil yachts
Baddest Mercedes, Lorenzos, and silver fox
I keep it flowin see we goin to the top
Ima get you everything, give a damn how much you tell me to stop
You want it hotter then we take it 'cross seas
Party jumpin is bumpin, tokin somethin in Belize
... I know you want it sucka free
Know you wantin to shine, even though you fightin me
... Take it easy player
Talkin greasy player, know you can feel me player
Uhh... you put it down tight
Yeah you not havin what you want dont even sound right
[Chorus: Timbaland]
Hey lady! I'm gonna hit you with a wine Mercedes
Somebody's gotta work with the mouth my baby
All you do is rub my back
Rub my back! Rub my back! Rub my back! Rub my back!
I said MY baby
Watch television is the Escalade-y
Go shoppin when you want to baby
All you do is rub my back
Rub my back! Rub my back! Rub my back! Rub my back! Ohh!
[Verse 2: LL Cool J]
Lay down for a while preety, relax a minute
... I caught a feelin when you represented
Gave you that Mercedes, you better get up in it
... Get off the corner, come to pop some vintage
You never seen a player flip your whole life
Dip the Caddy on the freeway, hittin the strobe light
... You got a mean walk at times right?
Im here to shine like, I get your mind right
Uhh, Charles Jordan girl if you wanna take a hit
Gotta? between the lippers this is it
... Lazy, lay back and court the chips
Some call it trickin or ballin, depends on who you wit
Him or L baby, so who you gonna pick
Mack motor, I told ya, I want ya livin rich
You don't know about a brother
Blow around a brother, money flow around a brother
[Chorus]
[Verse 3: LL Cool J]
Dont trip I know you like the rocks
Wanna dip round the corner in the drop
Music bumpin you frontin although you say you're not

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My Cat

Cool cat
Good cat
Pussy cat

When I see him walking
Makes no sense to me
My cat is everywhere
We watch him on TV

My cat is amazing
He can play the guitar
He may not be an actor
But he's a pussy superstar

My cat
Cool cat

My cat is everywhere
Sees what he can see
He may not be an actor
He acts atrociously

My cat is amazing
He can play the guitar
He may not be an actor
But he's a pussy superstar

My cat isn't crazy
He's everything to me
My cat burns the bible
And he thinks it's so funny

He isn't very good
He isn't very smart
He may not be Picasso
But he is a work of art

Hates me as much as I hate you

My cat
Cool cat
Good cat
Pussy cat

When I see him walking
Makes no sense to me
My cat is everywhere
We watch him on TV

My cat is amazing

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song performed by Jack Off Jill from Sexless Demons And ScarsReport problemRelated quotes
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The Fable of 'Belling the Cat', Modern Version

Five judges at a cat show
were in a conference room
when the lights went out.

The cat being judged
was coal black and
only could be seen
when it opened its eyes,
and of course the cat was asleep.

While waiting for the lights to come on,
the conversation turned to nutrition
and as most cat show judges
must have another occupation,
it turned out that each
considered himself and herself
an authority on diet for humans.

Such it was that the cat and nutrition
became the subject of discussion
because nutrition is not unlike
a black cat in a dark room.

The judges were sure
that the cat must be found and caught
before someone opened the door,
and it escaped.
If only it had a bell attached to its collar,
How much easier it would be.

The first judge,
a Health Food Faddist, said,
'I see it.
Having particularly acute eyesight
because of my diet
of carrots and carrot juice,
I will tell you where the cat is
and someone can easily
catch and hold it.
There by the table end is the cat.'
Alas, because no one else could see,
the first one to attempt to catch the cat,
tripped over a chair and
the cat raced about the room and
Found a new place to hide.

'It's just like you all
to dismiss the value of natural foods,
see what it has gained you.'
With that the Food Faddist

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Fat

Walk any street in America, what do you see?
Fat women waddling
Fat men smoking fat cigars
Fat children munching fatburgers
Fat cars with fat tires

Why?
Could it be that someone wants it that way?

“Consumption is the basis of Capitalism”

Fat women go to gyms and read diet books
Fat men do nothing because they don’t mind belly overhang
Fat Children know what tastes good, not what’s good for them
Fat cars consume gas/oil and pollute

It’s time to stop letting FAT run the economy
It’s time to get rid of corporate fat cats
It’s time to get rid of fat politicians

It’s time for everything to slim down…

ROTMS

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I Am The Fat Girl

I am the Fat Girl
the one that everyone hates,
holds in contempt

makes fun of
the one who has Jenny Craig dreams of being thin;

who learns to hate her self

because of cupcakes;

who can walk pass ice cream
and gain five pounds

whose parents are thin

while telling me I just have to watch my calories

I am the one who is mean

and retaliates

by spreading rumors

that the pretty girls are lesbian

or whores

or that they take drugs.

That is me;
the last chosen in gym class for the team

The object of fat jokes;

The one who is watched in the cafeteria

to see what I am eating

who has to sit and see the small girls

eat whatever they want
who has to declare that she doesn't like chocolate

the one who can never go to the beach

to pool parties
never find clothes that fit;
wearing sheets;

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Yes I Am Fat

Yes I am fat
Yes I am fat
And I love my hats
Sometimes I wish my hair was wrapped in a plat
I got two Siamese cats and I always dress smart
But let me put this right from the start
Yes I am fat
But O! No, I am not a tart

This is a message for all you love rats
I may crave once in a while for brown chocolat
But I do I have appreciation for the finer art
Sometimes I let out a big fat fart
Sometimes I have a full shopping cart
Yes I am fat
But O! No, I am not a tart

I have a big bum - I got curve infinity
I have big breasts - I got breast immunity
Though my bum is round and never flat
I got the purest of dignity all you love rats

Yes I am fat
Yes I am fat
Sometimes I get scorned or made fun at
But you need to check out my stats
I am intelligent, respectful and not a brat
I go to work and pay my dutiful vat
So do you want a chit chat?
Or do you want to take out your baseball bat
You see I can engage in any immortal combat,
on any wrestling mat and come out without taking a scat
Yes I am fat
But O! No, I am not a tart

So many have looked and spat
As if I smell and don't take a bath
I was born fat
And such is that
Respect me and I give tit for tat
Please don't make jest at
I do like when I get winked at
You see, even the fat have a heart
At times I feel pain as if I have been pierced with a dart

Yes I am fat
I have to plot my own life chart
And accept myself until death does me apart
By telling me when it is time to depart
Yes I am fat

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Geenie In A Bottle

I feel like I've been locked up tight
For a century of lonely nights
Waiting for someone to release me
You're licking your lips
And blowing kisses my way
But that don't mean I'm gonna give it away
Baby baby baby (baby, baby, baby)
Bridge
Ooooh (my body is saying let's go)
Ooooh (but my heart is saying no)
Chorus:
If you wanna be with me
Baby there's a price to pay
I'm a genie in a bottle
You gotta rub me the right way
If you wanna be with me
I can make your wish come true
You gotta make a big impression
I gotta like what you do
I'm a genie in a bottle baby
You gotta rub me the right way honey
I'm a genie in a bottle baby
Come, come, come on and let me out
The music's fading
The lights down low
Just one more dance
And then were good to go
Waiting for someone
Who needs me
Hormones racing at the speed of light
But that don't mean it's gotta be tonight
Baby, baby, baby (baby, baby, baby)
Bridge
Ooooh (my body is saying let's go)
Ooooh (but my heart is saying no)
Chorus
If you wanna be with me
| Baby there's a price to pay
I'm a genie in a bottle (I'm a genie in a bottle)
You gotta rub me the right way
If you wanna be with me (Ooh)
I can make your wish come true (Wish come true...woah)
Just come and set me free
And I'll be with you
I'm a genie in a bottle baby
You gotta rub me the right way honey
I'm a genie in a bottle baby
Come, come, come on and let me out
I'm a genie in a bottle baby
You gotta rub me the right way honey (if you wanna be with me)

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