Pjb
im a purple jelly bean
in a purple spiange pie
i like mash patato
and gravy on the side
i like cucumber
and i like pepperd stake
but most of all
...
i like cake
poem by Sammyjo Lubke
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poem by Rwetewrt Erwtwer
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Luggage Canada
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poem by Rwetewrt Erwtwer
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The Baker Man
Well here comes a dance that will never be banned now
(Patty cake patty cake baker's man)
Yeah, stolen from a story called "The Baker's Man" now
(Patty cake patty cake baker's man)
(Choo choo choo choo-do choo choo)
It's impossible too sweet to cross the land????
(Patty cake patty cake)
Put your favorite records on and start the show now
(Patty cake patty cake baker's man)
Abra-cadabra look at everyone go now
(Patty cake patty cake baker's man)
(Choo choo choo choo-do choo choo)
Alakazam this dance has got to grow now
(Patty cake patty cake)
Well they tell me that it's optional to use your feet
But now you really don't need them if you keep your beat
Well Arthur Murray's gettin' blurry tryin' to learn that jive
When all the kids from coast to coast are really comin' alive
Well go tell the gang what a time you've had now
(Patty cake patty cake baker's man)
This Friday night we'll start a regular fad now
(Patty cake patty cake baker's man)
(Choo choo choo choo-do choo choo)
We'll do the Baker 'til it drives us mad now
(Patty cake patty cake)
(Patty cake patty cake baker's man)
(Patty cake patty cake baker's man)
(Patty cake patty cake baker's man)
(Patty cake patty cake baker's man)
(Choo choo choo choo-do choo choo)
(Patty cake patty cake baker's man)
Come on and take a lesson now
(Patty cake patty cake baker's man)
Clap your partner's hands
(Patty cake patty cake baker's man)
Not too hard
(Patty cake patty cake baker's man)
Now slap her in the face
(Patty cake patty cake baker's man)
What a disgrace
(Choo choo choo choo-do choo choo)
(Patty cake patty cake)
(Patty cake patty cake baker's man
song performed by Beach Boys
Added by Lucian Velea
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Monster Mash
I was working in the lab
And light one night
When my eyes beheld
An eerie sight
When my monster from his slab
Began to rise
And suddenly
To my surprise
He did the mash
He did the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
He did the mash
It caught on in a flash
The monster mash
Its called the monster mash
The laboratory in the castle eaves
And the master bedroom where the vampire sleeps
The girls all came from their humble abodes
To get a jolt from my electrodes
They did the mash
They did the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
They did the mash
It caught on in a flash
The monster mash
Its called the monster mash
Zombies were having fun
The party had just begun
The guests included wolfman
Dracula and his little baby boy
The scene was rocking
All the digging sounds
Igor unchained ? ? ? ?
The coffin bangers were about to arrive
With a local group the beach boy five
They did the mash
They did the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
They did the mash
It caught on in a flash
The monster mash
Its called the monster mash
Mmmm, what luck girl in the audience
Would care to dance with igor?
The monster mash is so ghoul
Muah ha ha ha
Muah ha ha ha
song performed by Beach Boys
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Drawing a Purple Blank Verse after Gelett BURGESS Purple Cow
DRAWING A PURPLE BLANK VERSE
Kindly refer to notes
I've never cowed to purple prose
know now I'll never write it,
for anyhow true writer knows
hand stretched finds critics bite it.
I've never wowed, and goodness knows
hacks lack the knack of versing,
won't bow, kowtow to backhand blows,
preferring role reverse_sing.
Ah, yes, I wrote on purple prose,
yet can't regret I penned it,
one far prefers rhyme's timeless flows,
no blush need rush defend it.
10 February 2009
robi03_1856_burg01_0001 PWX_IXX
Parody Gelett BURGESS The Purple Cow
Author notes
For original and variations on a theme see bekiw
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
THE PURPLE COW
I never saw a Purple Cow,
I never hope to see one,
But I can tell you anyhow,
I’d rather see than be one.
Gelett BURGESS 1866_1951
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
CONFESSION
Ah, yes! I wrote the « Purple Cow » -
I’m Sorry, now, I Wrote it,
But I can Tell you Anyhow
I’ll Kill you if you Quote it.
Gelett BURGESS 1866_1951
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
A Perfect Woman
[...] Read more
poem by Jonathan Robin
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poem by Rwetewrt Erwtwer
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poem by Rwetewrt Erwtwer
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Instant Mash
In the supermarket there is music while you work
It drives you crazy, sends you screaming for the door
Work there for a year or two and you can't get to like it
I don't work in supermarkets anymore
It's so easy, it's so easy
Grab can, lift arm, stack can, turn around
It's so easy, it's so easy
Do the instant mash, do the instant mash
Do the instant mash, make an instant smash
Doin' the instant mash
In the discorama there's a dj tries to charm ya
They got flashin' lights to dance to if you're shy
Red for treble, green for bass, they're wired in sequence round the place
You wait till ten, then try take off your tie
It's so easy, it's so easy
Lift hand, flick wrist, drop hand, turn around
It's so easy, it's so easy
Do the instant mash, do the instant mash
Do the instant mash, make some instant cash
Doin' the instant mash
In the cinema tonight they sit and watch the robots fight
The human beings don't have much to say
Robots making lots of cash and all they eat is instant mash
Oh wouldn't you just love to be that way?
It's so easy, it's so easy
Heat it, beat it, eat it, turn around
It's so easy, it's so easy
Do the instant mash, do the instant mash
Do the instant mash, make an instant smash
Doin' the instant mash
song performed by Joe Jackson
Added by Lucian Velea
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It's All Gravy Ft. Romeo
Remember this...
Romeo, Christina Milian
Verse1: Romeo
I remember when (when when when)
Let me turn back time on Big Ben
Let me tell you about the story from start to end
Release the ink from my Ballpoint pen, when it touches the page
It reveals the message that I send
Are you listening?
Let me tell you about my first and only christening
My eyes all glistening
With the innocence of a blank page
Life is like a blank page
Enjoy the beef, the strife, the rage,
Wait... let me turn the page
And continue to verbally burn the page
With fire flows that are capable of burning down the stage
Chorus: Romeo & Christina Milian
Remember when we used to say
Aint always gonna be this way
From lemonade to alize
Now its all gravy
Remember when we used to say
Aint always gonna be this way
From lemonade to alize
Now its all gravy, baby...
Verse2: Romeo
Back in my school days
Was the cool days
School was the good old days, now
I tend to leave my teachers amazed
They never knew my hard work paves the way
When I talk about back in the days
The hard life
Everything will be all gravy if I play my cards right
Thats right
Mother said keep close friends tight
Keep frienemies in the distance, in the night,
Wait... let me turn the page
And continue to verbally burn the page
With fire flows that are capable of burning down the stage
Chorus: Romeo & Christina Milian
Remember when we used to say
Aint always gonna be this way
From lemonade to alize
Now its all gravy
Remember when we used to say
Aint always gonna be this way
From lemonade to alize
Now its all gravy, baby...
[...] Read more
song performed by Christina Milian
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Healthy Back Bag
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poem by Rwetewrt Erwtwer
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Jelly Jelly
Jelly jelly
By gregg allman
Copyright 1973 allbro music, unichappell music inc. and elijah blue music
Stormy stormy rain
Im as lonesome as a man can be
Oh, its stormin, stormin rain and
Im as lonesome as a man can be.
Whoa, the way youve been treatin me,
I realize its not the same.
Its a down-right rotten,
Low down dirty shame
Lord its a down right rotten
Low down dirty shame
The way that you treated me
Lord I know Im not to blame
Jelly jelly jelly
Jelly stays on my mind (hal leonard book says jelly stains on my mind)
Jelly jelly jelly
Jelly stays on my mind
Jelly roll killed my pappy,
And drove my mama stone blind.
song performed by Allman Brothers Band
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Adrienne Vittadini
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poem by Caasder Fronds
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My Other Chinee Cook
Yes, I got another Johnny; but he was to Number One
As a Satyr to Hyperion, as a rushlight to the sun;
He was lazy, he was cheeky, he was dirty, he was sly,
But he had a single virtue, and its name was rabbit pie.
Now those who say the bush is dull are not so far astray,
For the neutral tints of station life are anything but gay;
But, with all its uneventfulness, I solemnly deny
That the bush is unendurable along with rabbit pie.
We had fixed one day to sack him, and agreed to moot the point
When my lad should bring our usual regale of cindered joint,
But instead of cindered joint we saw and smelt, my wife and I,
Such a lovely, such a beautiful, oh! such a rabbit pie!
There was quite a new expression on his lemon-coloured face,
And the unexpected odour won him temporary grace,
For we tacitly postponed the sacking-point till by-and bye,
And we tacitly said nothing save the one word, “rabbit pie!”
I had learned that pleasant mystery should simply be endured,
And forebore to ask of Johnny where the rabbits were procured!
I had learned from Number One to stand aloof from how and why,
And I threw myself upon the simple fact of rabbit pie.
And when the pie was opened, what a picture did we see!
They lay in beauty side by side, they filled our home with glee!
How excellent, how succulent, back, neck, and leg, and thigh!
What a noble gift is manhood! What a trust is rabbit pie!
For a week the thing continued, rabbit pie from day to day;
Though where he got the rabbits John would ne'er vouchsafe to say;
But we never seemed to tire of them, and daily could descry
Subtle shades of new delight in each successive rabbit pie.
Sunday came; by rabbit reckoning, the seventh day of the week;
We had dined, we sat in silence, both our hearts (?) too full to speak,
When in walks Cousin George, and, with a sniff, says he, “Oh my!
What a savoury suggestion! what a smell of rabbit pie!”
“Oh, why so late, George?” says my wife, “the rabbit pie is gone;
But you must have one for tea, though. Ring the bell, my dear, for John.”
So I rang the bell for John, to whom my wife did signify,
“Let us have an early tea, John, and another rabbit pie.”
But John seemed taken quite aback, and shook his funny head,
And uttered words I comprehended no more than the dead;
“Go, do as you are bid,” I cried, “we wait for no reply;
Go! let us have tea early, and another rabbit pie!”
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poem by James Brunton Stephens
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Key Lime Pie
Ocean breeze, tire swing
Coconut fall if you shake that thing
And my, my, my - my key lime pie
Not too tart, not too sweet
My baby loves to watch me eat
Her key lime pie
Her key lime pie
Tall green tree, yellow bird
Bikini bottom and a tie-dyed shirt
And my, my, my - my key lime pie
Big white sail, red sunset
Lobster tail and don't forget
My, my, my - my key lime pie
A six string, ten shots
Of Cruzan rum, hey, I like it a lot
With my, my, my - my key lime pie
Tortola, a full moon
Shining down on a blue lagoon
And my, my, my - my key lime pie
Not too tart, not too sweet
My baby loves to watch me eat
Her key lime pie
Her key lime pie
We got Ginger and Mary Ann
Cookin' up a real good tan
And my, my, my - my key lime pie
Key lime pie, key lime pie
Key lime pie, my my my
My, my, my key lime pie
Key lime pie, key lime pie
song performed by Kenny Chesney
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Purple Pain-A Parody
Inspired by Barny the purple dinosaur
Parody of Prince's song Purple Rain
Purple pain
You were always meant I know
To cause me sorrow
You were always meant I know
To make me wanna bleed my own blood and gouge out my eyes
You were always meant I know
To cause me pain
Now all I ever want
Since I saw you on my tv screen is for you
You damm purple pain to drown
In the purple rain
Purple pain
Purple pain
Purple pain
Purple pain
Purple pain
Purple pain
I only want to see you drowning in the purple rain
Oh you damm purple pain
I never wanted my kids to love you
I only thought of you as some kind of fiend
Barney, I could never stand you for another minute
So my television now I must turn off
Even through I know it would make my babies cry
It's such a shame that your lifetime has't come to a end
Oh, oh yes it is
Purple pain
Purple pain
Purple pain
Purple pain
Purple pain
Purple pain
I only wanted to see you drown
You damm purple pain
In the purple rain
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poem by Ramona Thompson
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Sobre Horizontes
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poem by Rwetewrt Erwtwer
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The Purple Cow Parodies
Gelett Burgess' original poem…
A Purple Cow
I never saw a Purple Cow,
I never hope to see one;
But I can tell you, anyhow,
I'd rather see than be one.
Poem parodied in the
style of…
John Milton
Hence, vain, deluding cows.
The herd of folly, without colour bright,
How little you delight,
Or fill the Poet's mind, or songs arouse!
But, hail! thou goddess gay of feature!
Hail divinest purple creature!
Oh, Cow, thy visage is too bright
To hit the sense of human sight.
And though I'd like, just once, to see thee
I never, never, never'd be thee!
Percy Bysshe Shelley
Hail to thee, blithe spirit!
Cow thou never wert;
But in life to cheer it
Playest thy full part
In purple lines of unpremeditated art.
The pale purple colour
Melts around thy sight
Like a star, but duller,
In the broad daylight.
I'd see thee, but I would not be thee if I might.
We look before and after
At the cattle as they browse;
Our most hearty laughter
Something sad must rouse.
Our sweetest songs are those that tell of Purple Cows.
[...] Read more
poem by Carolyn Wells
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Wild Honey Pie
Pixies - wild honey pie
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Honey pie, honey pie
Honey pie, honey pie
Honey pie, honey pie
Honey pie, honey pie
Honey pie, honey pie
Honey pie, honey pie, honey pie, honey piieehoooeyeah
(john lennon/paul mccartney)
song performed by Pixies
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Cheese Cake
I met a babe in a backseat drive-in
Back in the saddle shed sit
Pulled on the reins just to keep me risin
She loved to chomp at the bit
Daddy do it, oh, just do it
Daddy do it, please let me see
Do it, please just do it daddy
Do it, do it, drivin me crazy
She walks away with her eyes
Down on her bootlace
She lives to give it away
She dont believe in the right or the wrong case
Shes always liable to say
Daddy do it, oh, just do it
Daddy do it, please let me see
Do it, please just do it daddy
Do it, do it, drivin me crazy
(cheese cake), looser than her sister
(cheese cake), her sugar gets me high
She knows I cant resist her (cheese cake)
Got my fingers in her pie (cheese cake)
(cheese cake), sneakin out the back door
(cheese cake), rollin down the lawn
Everybody kissed her (cheese cake)
At the crack of dawn (cheese cake)
Daddy do it, oh, just do it
Daddy do it, please let me see
Daddy do it, please just do it daddy
Do it, do it, do it, drivin me crazy
(cheese cake), looser than her sister
(cheese cake), her sugar gets me high
She knows I cant resist her (cheese cake)
Got my fingers in her pie (cheese cake)
Repeat (cheese cake)
song performed by Aerosmith
Added by Lucian Velea
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Cherry Pie
Dirty, Rotten, Filthy, Stinky
She's my cherry pie
Cool drink of water
Such a sweet surprise
Tastes so good
Make a grown man cry
Sweet Cherry Pie
Yeah
Wow
Heh Heh
Well swinging on the front porch
Swinging on the lawn
Swinging where we want
Cause there ain't nobody home
Swingin' to the left and
Swingin' to the right
I think about baseball
I'll swing all night, yeah
Yeah, yeah - huh!
Swingin in the living room
Swingin' in the kitchen
Most folks don't
Cause they're too busy bitchin'
Swingin' in there
Cause she wanted me to feed her
So I mixed up the batter
And she licked the beater
I scream, you scream,
We all scream for her
Don't even try
Cause you can't ignore her
CHORUS
She's my cherry pie
Cool drink of water
Such a sweet surprise
Tastes so good make a grown man cry
Sweet cherry pie
Oh yeah
She's my cherry pie
Put a smile on your face
Ten miles wide
Looks so good
Bring a tear to your eye
Sweet cherry pie
Yeah sweet cherry pie
Yeah
Swingin to the drums
Swingin to guitar
Swingin to the bass in the back of my car
Ain't got money, ain't got no gas
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song performed by Warrant
Added by Lucian Velea
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