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Go Ducks!

Ducks are fast and ducks will win,
Once you're a duck, you're not human again,
You are a football machine,
You learn how to bite back, and get mean!
And once you quack,
You never go back!

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University Of Central Florida Volleyball

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Ducks On The Wall

After dinner norman becomes depressed.
Star:
Normans office got on my nerves to-day.
Wife:
What do you mean? you are norman!
Star:
(shouts) I am a star!
Wife:
Youre not a star norman. youre
Just a plain ordinary little bloke and
Even if you walked down the street in
A silver suit people still wouldnt
Recognise you. youre dull, ordinary
And uninteresting! youre a drag!
Star rises from his chair and smashes
The dinner plates to the floor.
Star:
I hate this house and I hate you, but
More than anything else I hate those
Ducks!
Wife:
Dont you touch those ducks norman!
They were a present from my mother.
Look, norman, Ive had enough of you
And your ridiculous fantasies. first of
All you wanted to be a painter, then
You wanted to be an astronaut, then
A footballer and now youre playing at
Being a rock singer. if you touch those
Ducks Im leaving!
Ducks on the wall
My babys got the most deplorable taste,
But her biggest mistake
Is hanging over the fireplace.
Shes got ducks, ducks on the wall,
Ducks, ducks, hanging on the wall.
My ladys got a sort of strange fascination,
An obsessive fixation
For cheap decorations
Shes got ducks, ducks on the wall.
Ducks, ducks, hanging on the wall.
Wo-wo-wo I love her so but if she doesnt move the ducks,
I think my mind is gonna go.
Ducks ducks on the wall.
Ducks ducks, hanging on the wall.
I leave the office and I want to relax.
Dont want to stare at a wall
And look at a duck that cant quack.
I love you baby but I cant fall
For those ducks on the wall.

[...] Read more

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Twin State

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Veterinary Camps

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Using Boot Camp

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Bateese And His Little Decoys

O I'm very very tire Marie,
I wonder if I'm able hol' a gun
An' me dat 's alway risin' wit' de sun
An' travel on de water, an' paddle ma canoe
An' trap de mink an' beaver de fall an' winter
t'roo,
But now I t'ink dat fun is gone forever.

Wall! I'm mebbe stayin' long enough,
For eighty-four I see it on de spring;
Dough ma fader he was fellin' purty tough
An' at ninety year can do mos' ev'ry t'ing,
But I never know de feller, don't care how ole
he come,
Dat is n't sure to t'ink he 's got anoder year,
ba gum!
Before he lif' de anchor for de las' tam!

It 's not so easy lyin' on de bed,
An' lissen to de wil' bird on de bay,
Dey know dat poor bateese is nearly dead,
Or dey would n't have such good fun ev'ry
day!
Put ma gun upon de piller near de winder, jus'
for luck,
Den bring w'ere I can see dem, ma own nice
leetle duck
So I have some talk wit' dem mese'f dis
morning.

Ah! dere you 're comin' now! mes beaux
canards!
Dat 's very pleasan'day, an' how you feel?
Of course you dunno w'at I want you for,
Wall! lately I've been t'inkin a good deal
Of all de fuss I 'm havin' show you w'at you
ought to do
W'en de cole win' of October de blin' is blow-
ing t'roo
An' de bluebill 's flyin' up an' down de reever.

O! de bodder I 'm havin' wit' you all!
It 's makin' me feel ole before ma tam!
Stan' over dere upon de right again de wall,
Ma-dame Lapointe - I'm geevin' you Ma-
dame
'Cos you walk aroun' de sam' way as ma cousin
Aurelie
An' lak youse'f she 's havin' de large large
familee,

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Tin Machine

Tin machine
Tin machine
Take me anywhere
Somewhere without alcohol
Or goons with muddy hair
Tin machine
Tin machine
Tin machine
Tin machine
The zombies that I pass
The guy that beats his baby up
The preachers and their past
Tin machine
Tin machine
Tin machine
Baby doll
Baby doll
Clarity and prayer
Theres more than money moving here
Theres mindless maggot glare
Working horrors-humping tories
Spittle on their chins
Carving up my childrens future
Read em pal and grin
Raging raging raging
Burning in my room
Cmon and get a good idea
Cmon and get it soon
Im waiting on the fire escape
Im not exactly well
Im neither red nor black nor white
Im grey and blown to hell
Tin machine
Tin machine
Make some new computer thing
That puts me on the moon
Not this psycho-time-bomb planet
Poised to meet its maker
Shake a leg
Tin machine
Tin machine
One sick deathless duty to remain endangered species
They reach right out to touch someone
Then wash their crusty hands
Tin machine
Tin machine
Baby doll
Baby doll
Blue suede tuneless wonders
Mass confusion-faithless blues

[...] Read more

song performed by David BowieReport problemRelated quotes
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Love Machine

Performed by the time
Love machine, yeah. hey, yeah.
Ive got the toys, 2 turn your body out
Ive got the noise, 2 make u scream and shout
The love machine will take your body higher
cause if it dont then I know ure a liar
Dont lie, u want some love that will make u cry
17 tongues licking from the neck down moving in a quickspeed circular motion
Round and round, I said it round and round,
Like u like it, I can lick it like u like it.
Ive got the toys, 2 turn your body out
Ive got the noise, 2 make u scream and shout
The love machine will take your body higher
cause if it dont then I know ure a liar
Love machine. dont bathe.
The love machine cleanses with a little faith
Like a car wash spitting out soap and oil
There aint never been a cleaner girl in the whole wide world
Turning in your bodys, psyche, dial a perfume that u like,
The love machine will put it on u right.
Ive got the toys, 2 turn your body out (think I dont)
Ive got the noise, 2 make u scream and shout
The love machine will take your body higher
cause if it dont then I know ure a liar
Hey yeah, what time it is, love machine
Love machine, what time it is, love machine
Fast or slow like a leslie goes
If u want I can give u complete control
Over your climax and over mine,
The harder u come, the longer the time, (time)
The longer the time, (higher) the longer the time,
The longer the time, the longer the time, the longer the time it takes
Love machine, the love machine.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, yeah
Shall we say were in paris? (I dont know)
Shall we say were in rome? (we could.)
Shall we imagine a menage-a-trois? (Im too young.)
Shall we imagine were alone? (what can I say 2 that? )
Shall we dream of each other naked? (shit.)
Shall we get undressed right here? (I dont know.) (love machine)
Shall we do this thing by the books? (what are u doing 2 me? )
Shall we give in 2 our biggest fears? (the love machine) (are u afraid? )
Are u going 2 dance with me? (higher) (yes.) (love machine)
Are u going 2 going to let me spin u around? (I might.)
Are u going 2 kiss me quietly? (cant u hear me? )
Are u going 2 make love with sound? (the love machine, higher love machine)
(isnt that the way its done? )
Are u playing the part of a shadow? (I am not.)
Or are your inhibitions gone? (they are.)
Are u afraid of the love machine? (love machine) (hell no)

[...] Read more

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Sexy Feline Machine

Shes a funky feline machine
Crazy cat inside a dream
shes a hunny she stings like a bee
your the punk and shes the queen
shes an angel shes a dove
with a taste for a villans blood
packing heat strutting on the street
chew you up and make you meat
sexy feline machine
sexy feline machine
(shes a sexy feline machine)
sexy feline machine
sexy feline machine
(shes a sexy feline machine)
Shes a sexy feline machine
Shes a sexy feline machine
Shes a sexy feline machine
Shes a sexy feline machine
you cant stop her
ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya........
Shes a funky feline machine
Crazy cat inside a dream
shes a hunny she stings like a bee
your the punk and shes the queen
sexy feline machine
sexy feline machine
(shes a sexy feline machine)
sexy feline machine
sexy feline machine
(every thing is not as it seems)
sexy feline machine
sexy feline machine
(shes a sexy feline machine)
Shes a sexy feline machine
you cant stop her
ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya...........
(bow bow bow)

song performed by Fat JoeReport problemRelated quotes
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Duck! Don't Stick Your Neck Out

How many quacks does a quack quack quack
before he ducks for fish?
How many ducks does a quack quack duck
before his fish is fished?

How many geese's goose is cooked
because they ate up all the fish?
How many cooks cook geese
before their goose is cooked?

How many fowl fall foul
of fowl hunting cooks?
How many fowls' geese are cooked
before they flew from a foul hunting cook?

How many ducks' goose is cooked
because he didn't duck duck duck
when a fowl cook reached for his neck?

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My shoes and my duck

My shoes and I are quite good friends you see
Often they have chats with me
They tell me things doesn’t matter when
Day or night
They ask me please to lace right
Tell me how to wear them right

I have many pair but only one do I love
They are blue and white
Just like the morning and its dove
That flies around with all their might

My shoes fight in my closet in the black of night
Over which one I will ware on my bike

But I can never forget my duck
To which I can always turn to trust
My friend that is always there
Telling me no lies
And awaiting my return home
From my eight hour chore

My duck can’t swim
my duck can’t quake
My duck just sinks
with a rock on his back
My duck can’t cry
my duck can’t sing
my duck just cant do anything
My ducks no duck and I know why
my duck is stuffed
my duck can’t fly...
I love my duck
Can’t you see why

So in the end
I wouldn’t trade my shoes for any red bull
Or my duck for any frog
Even though one might give me wings
Or one might make noise now and again
I love my blue shoes and my stuffed duck

P.S. the Saint helped me write parts of this, so I owe him a thank you, and just so you all know not all mine.

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Woman Machine

She'll do your work in half the time
Never sick and can't go blind
Oh, woman machine
Brains of tape that fill her head
She knows more now than all the dead
Oh, woman machine
Oh, woman machine
Oh, woman machine
Oh, woman machine
Oh, woman machine
Heart of steel and skin that's cold
Can't wear her out, she can't grow old
Oh, woman machine
She goes to bed when her work is through
She'll do it all, just change the tubes
Oh, woman machine
Oh, woman machine
Oh, woman machine
Oh, woman machine
Oh, woman machine-ine
Oh, woman machine
Oh, woman machine
Oh, woman machine
Oh, woman
She can't talk back
With no playback
But she'll listen
To all your woe
Trade your old one
For a new one
They just don't make 'em like they used to
No!
Oh, woman machine
Oh, woman machine
Oh, woman machine
Oh, woman machine
''...exceeds one million when the stop button is pressed,
the... has results PCR621, into the drayer reading pool
to hold the relay on for one quarter second after the
Q603 deenergizes. Therefore, the time delay occurs only
when the stop button is pressed, during the record nine.
The sole function of the capacitor c620 is to maintain
charge in

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I Cant Win

(l. johnson/d. richardson/c. knight)
Ive been trying so hard to find a way to your heart
I cant win, I cant win, I cant win, I cant win
Win your love, win your love
I gave you my love, I gave you my heart
Instead of taking it, keeping it, baby, you tore it apart
But I cant win, I cant win, I cant win, no, I cant win
Win your love, win your love
I go to church every sunday [and there aint nothing wrong with that]
I stand work on time, every monday [i do the best I can]
I cant win, I cant win, I cant win, oh, no, I cant win
Win your love,
Cant seem to win your love, baby
Win your love
No matter how hard I try
Win your love, cant win your love, baby
Win your love, oh-hoo, I cant win
I just cant win, baby
I cant win
I try hard enough, girl
I cant win, I still cant win
I work eight days a week, baby
What more, what more you want me to do ?
Im down on my knees, baby, I do that
I cant win, please, please, please
Just cant seem to win your love
Come on, and bring it to me, girl
Win your love, win your love

song performed by Ry CooderReport problemRelated quotes
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Ducks

(To E.M., Who drew them in Holzminden Prison)

I

From troubles of the world I turn to ducks,
Beautiful comical things
Sleeping or curled
Their heads beneath white wings
By water cool,
Or finding curious things
To eat in various mucks
Beneath the pool,
Tails uppermost, or waddling
Sailor-like on the shores
Of ponds, or paddling
- Left! Right! - with fanlike feet
Which are for steady oars
When they (white galleys) float
Each bird a boat
Rippling at will the sweet
Wide waterway ...
When night is fallen you creep
Upstairs, but drakes and dillies
Nest with pale water-stars.
Moonbeams and shadow bars,
And water-lilies:
Fearful too much to sleep
Since they've no locks
To click against the teeth
Of weasel and fox.
And warm beneath
Are eggs of cloudy green
Whence hungry rats and lean
Would stealthily suck
New life, but for the mien
The hold ferocious mien
Of the mother-duck.

II

Yes, ducks are valiant things
On nests of twigs and straws,
And ducks are soothy things
And lovely on the lake
When that the sunlight draws
Thereon their pictures dim
In colours cool.
And when beneath the pool
They dabble, and when they swim
And make their rippling rings,

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A Ballad of Ducks

The railway rattled and roared and swung
With jolting and bumping trucks.
The sun, like a billiard red ball, hung
In the Western sky: and the tireless tongue
Of the wild-eyed man in the corner told
This terrible tale of the days of old,
And the party that ought to have kept the ducks.
"Well, it ain't all joy bein' on the land
With an overdraft that'd knock you flat;
And the rabbits have pretty well took command;
But the hardest thing for a man to stand
Is the feller who says 'Well I told you so!
You should ha' done this way, don't you know!' --
I could lay a bait for a man like that.

"The grasshoppers struck us in ninety-one
And what they leave -- well, it ain't de luxe.
But a growlin' fault-findin' son of a gun
Who'd lent some money to stock our run --
I said they'd eaten what grass we had --
Says he, 'Your management's very bad;
You had a right to have kept some ducks!'

"To have kept some ducks! And the place was white!
Wherever you went you had to tread
On grasshoppers guzzlin' day and night;
And then with a swoosh they rose in flight,
If you didn't look out for yourself they'd fly
Like bullets into your open eye
And knock it out of the back of your head.

"There isn't a turkey or goose or swan,
Or a duck that quacks, or a hen that clucks,
Can make a difference on a run
When a grasshopper plague has once begun;
'If you'd finance us,' I says, 'I'd buy
Ten thousand emus and have a try;
The job,' I says, 'is too big for ducks!

"'You must fetch a duck when you come to stay;
A great big duck -- a Muscovy toff --
Ready and fit,' I says, 'for the fray;
And if the grasshoppers come our way
You turn your duck into the lucerne patch,
And I'd be ready to make a match
That the grasshoppers eat his feathers off!"

"He came to visit us by and by,
And it just so happened one day in spring
A kind of cloud came over the sky --

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I Want A New Duck

Woh oh
I want a new duck
One that wont try to bite
One that wont chew a hole in my socks
One that wont quack all night
I want a new duck
One with big webbed feet
One that knows how to wash my car
And keep his room real neat
One that wont raid the ice box
One thatll stay in shape
One thats never gonna try to migrate or escape
Or Ill tie him up with duck tape
I want a new duck
A mallard I think
One that wont make a mess of my house
Or build a nest in the bathroom sink
I want a new duck
One that wont steal my beer
One that wont stick his bill in my mail
One that knows the duck stops here
One that wont drive me crazy waddling all around
One wholl teach me how to swim and help me not to drown
And show me how to get down
How to get down baby
Get it?
*****
*****
*** ****
****
*** ***
I want a new duck
Not a swan or a goose
Just a drake I can dress real cute
Think Im gonna name him bruce
I want a new duck
Not a quail or an owl
One that wont molt to much
One that wont smell too fowl
One that wont beg for breadcrumbs
Hangin around all day
Hed better mind his manners
Better do just what I say
Or hes gonna be duck patte, duck patte, yah, yah
*
*****
***** (*** ** **)
****
*******
(lots of quacking sounds)

song performed by Weird Al YankovicReport problemRelated quotes
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Football

I'm a football baby,
Rollin' round the field.
I've been passed and fumbled,
Till I don't know what I feel.
Everybody's the same,
They're all footballs too.
Setting up the big play
And trying to score.
I'm a football baby
In a football game
I'm a football baby
Run--kick
Life's a football game,
As every chump and champ knows.
We don't touch, we collide,
Till we're worn out inside.
We're kicking each other,
Right where it hurts,
Setting up the big play,
And trying to score.
I'm a football baby,
In a football game
I'm a football baby,
I'm a football baby,
In a football game
I'm a football baby,
Block--pass
I'm a football baby,
In a football game
I'm a football baby,
Run---kick---hit---goal .

song performed by Iggy PopReport problemRelated quotes
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Oh! Mr. Malthus!

"Mother, Mother, here comes Malthus,
Mother, hold me tight!
Look! It's Mr. Malthus, Mother!
Hide me out of sight."
This was the cry of little Jane
In bed she moaning lay,
Delirious with Stomach Pain,
That would not go away.
All because her small Existence
Over-pressed upon Subsistence;
Human Numbers didn't need her;
Human Effort couldn't feed her.
Little Janie didn't know
The Geometric Ratio.
Poor Wee Janie had never done
Course Economics No. 1;
Never reached in Education
Theories of Population, --
Theories which tend to show
Just how far our Food will go,
Mathematically found
Just enough to go around.
This, my little Jane, is why
Pauper Children have to die.
Pauper Children underfed
Die delirious in Bed;
Thus at Malthus's Command
Match Supply with true Demand.
Jane who should have gently died
Started up and wildly cried, --

"Look, mother, look, he's there again
I see him at the Window Pane,
Father, -- don't let him, -- he's behind
That shadow on the window blind, --"
In vain the anxious parents soothe, --
What can avail their useless Love?
"Darling, lie down again; don't mind;
Branches are moving in the Wind."
With panting Breath, with Eyes that stare,
Again she cries, "He's there, he's there!"
The frightened Parents look, aghast,
Is it that something really passed?
What is it that they seem to scan,
Ghost or Abstraction, Dream or Man? --
That long drawn Face, the cloven Lip,
The crooked Fingers all a-grip,
The sunken Face, cadaverous,
The dress, Ah, God deliver us!
What awful Sacrilege is that?

[...] Read more

poem by Report problemRelated quotes
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Im Gonna Win

Another dark night, in the city
And my prospects lookin thin
The survival, of the fittest
Is the law, in the world that I live in
I was not born, to be a fighter
But nows the time I have to learn
To keep my head, above the water
Gotta play with fire, but not get burned
I gotta stand up, I gotta face it
Dont want to lose it
I want to taste it while its hot
Dont want to waste it, I need it so bad
Im gonna win, yeah
Im gonna win
You see its a matter of pride
Deep down inside
Im gonna win, yeah
Im gonna win
I got no time, to sit and wonder
I got myself, to reckon with
Yeah and life wont drag me under
Even if it takes, all I have to give
Ill give it all
I gotta stand up, I gotta face it
Dont want to lose it
Ooh I want to taste it while its hot
Dont want to waste it, my minds made up
Im gonna win
Im gonna win
I tell you, see when it comes down to the crunch
Ive gotta beat life to the punch
Im gonna win
Somehow I know Im gonna win
You know
Ive got to fight to stay alive
Kick it in to overdrive
Im gonna win, ooh, ooh, ooh
Im gonna win
Im gonna win
Im gonna win
You see its a matter of pride
Deep down inside
Im gonna win
Gonna win, gonna win
Ooh, Ill pay the price
Gonna win
No more mr. nice
Gonna win
Hey, just watch me roll the dice
Im gonna win, win, win

[...] Read more

song performed by ForeignerReport problemRelated quotes
Added by Lucian Velea
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Machine

Im not a machine... (echos)
Verse 1:
Tell me can I live my life
Doing what I feel is right
I dont need you to hold my hand
The last time I checked I was a grown man
I got my own opinion and I know whats best for me
I do what I want when I want and thats how its gotta be
Chorus:
Im not a machine no you cant control me
Dont just think you can turn me on and off as you please
Im not a machine youre making me overheat
Love me for who I am not who you want me to be
Im not a machine
Verse 2:
Tell me can I do my thing
Without you calling my name
Asking me where Im going, where Ive been
When Im leaving, why I came
Cant chose my own clothes go where I wanna go
Im not a toy for you to command Im not under your control
Girl why cant we just live equally oh girl it would be so nice
Instead of you giving an attitude and trying to run my life
Chorus:
Im not a machine no you cant control me
Dont just think you can turn me on and off as you please
Im not a machine youre making me overheat
Love me for who I am not who you want me to be
Im not a machine
Oh...yeah...
Im not a machine, oh....
Yeah
Chorus:
Im not a machine no you cant control me
Dont just think you can turn me on and off as you please
Im not a machine youre making me overheat (whoa)
Love me for who I am not who you want me to be (want me to be)
Im not a machine
Im not a machine no you cant control me
Dont just think you can turn me on and off as you please
Im not a machine youre making me overheat
Love me for who I am not who you want me to be
Im not a machine
Im not a machine (echos to end)

song performed by YoungstownReport problemRelated quotes
Added by Lucian Velea
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