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Heartbroken Draftee

Standing in the midst of a rainy April Tuesday
…A rejection in my hands…
In between two blue lines, my beloved penned:
I will never love you

In the middle of a sickened sadness,
An emotional macabre murderous dance
I closed my void, lifeless eyes
To find myself waking up to a nonexistent second chance

I know how it hurts.

I know how it feels.

To have your heart teased, squeezed, extinguished of its spark
Because a soul without a heart
Is just an empty breath of air
A product of the part

Sobbing in the shower so that I cannot count the tears
Waiting for the midnight hour to depressingly revel
In a silence that seems to split lungs

Following his tragic twisted love note
The oddest things bruise my brain
And play themselves in a constant repeat

Our song makes me wail
Hearing his name makes me writhe
My eyes roll to the back of my skull
Whenever I remind myself how his halo is dull

After recovery…

This morning I awoke with tears cascading from dots of hazel
The kind of cry when there is no reason why
I still love that I can lay in those memories and watch again
As my world descends to the dark
Even the death of my own ability to love,
I admire as a scarring mark

When I explain that I don't know what I want to become
They tell me to find the girl I used to be, where variables were plotted on a timeline
Prince charming was a large piece of that fable, but I ripped those soggy pages apart
Castigating the angelic demon, the saint that ate my heart

I may be barely breathing, my heart is scarcely beating
But the girl that everyone is searching for
Is dead
Murdered, missing, gone

[...] Read more

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