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Heartbroken Draftee

Standing in the midst of a rainy April Tuesday
…A rejection in my hands…
In between two blue lines, my beloved penned:
I will never love you

In the middle of a sickened sadness,
An emotional macabre murderous dance
I closed my void, lifeless eyes
To find myself waking up to a nonexistent second chance

I know how it hurts.

I know how it feels.

To have your heart teased, squeezed, extinguished of its spark
Because a soul without a heart
Is just an empty breath of air
A product of the part

Sobbing in the shower so that I cannot count the tears
Waiting for the midnight hour to depressingly revel
In a silence that seems to split lungs

Following his tragic twisted love note
The oddest things bruise my brain
And play themselves in a constant repeat

Our song makes me wail
Hearing his name makes me writhe
My eyes roll to the back of my skull
Whenever I remind myself how his halo is dull

After recovery…

This morning I awoke with tears cascading from dots of hazel
The kind of cry when there is no reason why
I still love that I can lay in those memories and watch again
As my world descends to the dark
Even the death of my own ability to love,
I admire as a scarring mark

When I explain that I don't know what I want to become
They tell me to find the girl I used to be, where variables were plotted on a timeline
Prince charming was a large piece of that fable, but I ripped those soggy pages apart
Castigating the angelic demon, the saint that ate my heart

I may be barely breathing, my heart is scarcely beating
But the girl that everyone is searching for
Is dead
Murdered, missing, gone
Cannibalistic destiny's defiled pawn

Another day, another memoir
Of the boy for which my soul did pine
I will never love you
Now it is my sigma, my battle cry, my sign

Getting suited for combat again
As I swallow a glass of tears and cry
Pasting a heart onto my sleeve
And acting like the girl everyone wants me to be
Another poet, another line, another heartbroken girl pretending she's fine

poem by Gabrielle Fleming
Added by Poetry Lover
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