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Steven Wright

I invented the cordless extension cord.

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Sobre Horizontes

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[...] Read more

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A Dialogue Betwixt Cordanus And Amoret, On A Lost Heart

Cord. Distressed pilgrim, whose dark clouded eyes
Speak thee a martyr to love's cruelties,
Whither away?
Amor. What pitying voice I hear,
Calls back my flying steps?
Cord. Pr'ythee, draw near.
Amor. I shall but say, kind swain, what doth become
Of a lost heart, ere to Elysium
It wounded walks?
Cord. First, it does freely flye
Into the pleasures of a lover's eye;
But, once condemn'd to scorn, it fetter'd lies,
An ever-bowing slave to tyrannies.
Amor. I pity its sad fate, since its offence
Was but for love. Can tears recall it thence?
Cord. O no, such tears, as do for pity call,
She proudly scorns, and glories at their fall.
Amor. Since neither sighs nor tears, kind shepherd, tell,
Will not a kiss prevail?
Cord. Thou may'st as well
Court Eccho with a kiss.
Amor. Can no art move
A sacred violence to make her love?
Cord. O no! 'tis only Destiny or Fate
Fashions our wills either to love or hate.
Amor. Then, captive heart, since that no humane spell
Hath power to graspe thee his, farewell.
Cord. Farewell.
Cho. Lost hearts, like lambs drove from their folds by fears,
May back return by chance, but not by tears.]

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XI. Guido

You are the Cardinal Acciaiuoli, and you,
Abate Panciatichi—two good Tuscan names:
Acciaiuoli—ah, your ancestor it was
Built the huge battlemented convent-block
Over the little forky flashing Greve
That takes the quick turn at the foot o' the hill
Just as one first sees Florence: oh those days!
'T is Ema, though, the other rivulet,
The one-arched brown brick bridge yawns over,—yes,
Gallop and go five minutes, and you gain
The Roman Gate from where the Ema's bridged:
Kingfishers fly there: how I see the bend
O'erturreted by Certosa which he built,
That Senescal (we styled him) of your House!
I do adjure you, help me, Sirs! My blood
Comes from as far a source: ought it to end
This way, by leakage through their scaffold-planks
Into Rome's sink where her red refuse runs?
Sirs, I beseech you by blood-sympathy,
If there be any vile experiment
In the air,—if this your visit simply prove,
When all's done, just a well-intentioned trick,
That tries for truth truer than truth itself,
By startling up a man, ere break of day,
To tell him he must die at sunset,—pshaw!
That man's a Franceschini; feel his pulse,
Laugh at your folly, and let's all go sleep!
You have my last word,—innocent am I
As Innocent my Pope and murderer,
Innocent as a babe, as Mary's own,
As Mary's self,—I said, say and repeat,—
And why, then, should I die twelve hours hence? I
Whom, not twelve hours ago, the gaoler bade
Turn to my straw-truss, settle and sleep sound
That I might wake the sooner, promptlier pay
His due of meat-and-drink-indulgence, cross
His palm with fee of the good-hand, beside,
As gallants use who go at large again!
For why? All honest Rome approved my part;
Whoever owned wife, sister, daughter,—nay,
Mistress,—had any shadow of any right
That looks like right, and, all the more resolved,
Held it with tooth and nail,—these manly men
Approved! I being for Rome, Rome was for me.
Then, there's the point reserved, the subterfuge
My lawyers held by, kept for last resource,
Firm should all else,—the impossible fancy!—fail,
And sneaking burgess-spirit win the day.
The knaves! One plea at least would hold,—they laughed,—
One grappling-iron scratch the bottom-rock

[...] Read more

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The progress

Cooking invented, I have lost my teeth.
Tools invented, I have lost my hands
Carts invented, I have lost my legs
Electricity invented, I have lost my sight.
Calculator invented, I have lost counting.
Computer invented, I have lost faculty
Internet come, I lost neigbours.
Is mankind on march to stability?
08.05.2007

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Mummy, Mummy Who Invented School?

mummy, mummy,
who invented school?


oh, sweetheart,
what a clever girl you are;
why don’t you tell me first
who you think invented school?


I think, mummy,
school must have been invented
it must be by people
like old grumpy Uncle Grim
next door;
and the grouchy Aunty Scowl
who lives behind our house


oh no, darling,
oh no, not at all:
O darling,
wise men and women
of the past
they invented school


oh, mummy,
they couldn’t
have been wise
not if you went to school
and see what happens in class;
surely those men and women
of the past
couldn’t have been wise
if they created places
where little kids are tested
every three days;
and little John thinks he’s stupid
and little Sue says she’d rather
stay at home and sleep;
and Tua and Helen are always
tense and nervous
and Chandra snores while the teacher talks


oh no -
oh, no darling,
oh no,
it’s not like that at all:

[...] Read more

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Been Down So Long

* spirit version (1998) *
Sun sets cross the ocean
Im a thousand miles from anywhere
My pocketbook and my heart both just got stolen
And the sun act like she dont even care
The wind blows cold when you reach the top
It feels like someones face is stuck to the bottom of my shoe
I got a plastic jesus, a cordless telephone for every corner of my room
Got everybody but you telling me what to do
But Ive been down so long
Ooh, it cant be longer still
Ive been down for so long
That the end must be drawing near
I look to everybody but me to answer my prayers
til I saw an angel in the bathroom who said she saw no one
Worth saving anywhere
And a blind man on the corner said its simple, like flipping a coin
Dont matter what side it lands on if its someone elses dime
But Ive been down so long
Ooh, it cant be longer still
Weve been down for so long
That the end must be drawing near
I take a trip, I catch a train, I catch a plane
I got a ticket in my hand
And then a man takes my money
And like cattle we all stand
But weve been down so long
Ooh, it cant be longer still
Weve been down for so long
The end must be...
I know the end must be...
Oh, I know the end must be drawing near
Bridge repeat / scat section
* live version (pre-1997) *
Transcribed by adam l.
The sun sets across the ocean
Im a thousasnd mile from anywhere
And my pocketbook in my heart
Both just got stolen
And the sun act like she dont even care
The wind blows cold when you reach the top
Feels like somebodys face is stuck to the bottom of my shoe
Got a plastic jesus, a cordless telephone ..? ? .. corner of my room
Got everybody but you tellin me what to do
***
Well Ive been down so long
It cant be that much longer still
And Ive been down for so long
That the end must be drawing near
***

[...] Read more

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Merry Christmas From The Family

Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk
At our Christmas party
We were drinkin' champagne punch
And homemade eggnog
Little sister brought her new boyfriend
He was a Mexican
We didn't know what to think of him
'Til he sang Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad
Brother Ken brought his kids with him
The three from his first wife Lynn
And the two identical twins
From his second wife MaryNell
Of course he brought his new wife Kaye
Who talks all about AA
Chain smokin' while the stereo plays
Noel, Noel, The first Noel
Carve the turkey turn the ball game on
Mix margaritas when the eggnog's gone
Send somebody to the Quik-Pak store
We need some ice and an extension cord
A can of bean dip and some Diet Rite
A box of tampons and some Marlboro Lights
Hallelujah everybody say cheese
Merry Christmas from the family
Fran and Rita drove from Harlingen
I can't remember how I'm kin to them
But when they tried to plug their motorhome in
They blew our Christmas lights
Cousin David knew just what went wrong
So we all waited on our front lawn
He threw the breaker and the lights came on
And we sang Silent Night
Oh Silent Night
Carve the turkey turn the ball game on
Mix margaritas when the eggnog's gone
Send somebody to the Quik-Pak store
We need some ice and an extension cord
A can of bean dip and some Diet Rite
A box of tampons and some Marlboro Lights
Hallelujah everybody say cheese
Merry Christmas from the family
Carve the turkey turn the ballgame on
Make Bloody Marys cause we all want one
Send somebody to the Stop 'n Go
We need some celery and a can of fake snow
A bag of lemons and some Dite Sprite
A box of tampons and some Salem Lights
Hallelujah everybody say cheese
Merry Christmas from the family

[...] Read more

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Who Invented The Wheel

I wanna know, who invented the wheel.
Tell me who discovered steel.
It was the wheel and the steel that caused this pain,
That made the car that took him away.
I wanna know, who invented the wheel.
I wanna know, who found the rock.
Tell me who made the black top.
It was the rock and the black top that caused this pain,
And made the road for the car, that took him away.
Chorus:
Somebody give me a name.
Cause I just need someone to blame.
For all of this heartache,
And pain I've been feelin' since he had to go,
I wanna know.
I wanna know who invented the time.
Out in this spand when he was mine.
It was all that time I didn't take,
It was the rock and the black top that made the highway,
For the wheel and the steel for the car, that took him away.
Chorus:
Somebody give me a name.
Cause I just need someone to blame.
For all of this heartache,
And pain I've been feelin' since he had to go,
I wanna know.
I wanna know.
I wanna know who invented the wheel.

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The First Poets

The First Poets hunted game in the forest and on the plains-
inventing signs and gestures; guttural sounds and mime-
and ultimately Words.

The First Poets wrote words and drew pictures
on the walls of caves
stamping their feet to drum-beats;
learning to dance.

The First Poets invented music for their words
religion, books and counting-conjuring up
in each instance-new things.

The First Poets imagined names for plants,
animals, birds and creatures of the sea;
sang songs about them-wrote poems and hymns.
creating sentiment, vows and promises-
marriage ceremonies.

Poets invented the idea of the Idea, of kindness, and visions.
Poets invented hope and the future, love of the past, community.
Poets invented the rhythm of our lives.

Poets re-invent themselves and civilization each generation.
They peer into the gauzy dream and dream what is not yet;
they peer inside themselves
reaching in
with-drawing something new
from that which had not been
there
before.

The First Poets invent and re-invent civilization each generation.

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The Wheelwright. For David

The wheelwright worked, as carefully,
yet so fast, as a wheel spins.

One day, someone said to him,
the centre of the wheel never moves.

Infuriated, the wheelwright worked night and day
neglecting his other work,
to prove this was not true;

he invented a wheel which was all rim;
but it still needed a hub, an axle;
but he had invented the flywheel;
his business flourished despite him.

He invented a wheel with a hollow at its centre;
but had to devise a radiating hub;
yet he had invented machinery;
his business thrived.

After many years, he sank back,
beaten by philosophy; reduced to stillness.

Around him, a huge business enterprise;
he, the hub, the axle,
the still centre.

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Look What You Did, Christopher!

In fourteen hundred and ninety-two,
Someone sailed the ocean blue.
Somebody borrowed the fare in Spain
For a business trip on the bounding main,
And to prove to the people, by actual test,
You could get to the East by sailing West.
Somebody said, Sail on! Sail on!
And studied China and China's lingo,
And cried from the bow, There's China now!
And promptly bumped into San Domingo.
Somebody murmured, Oh dear, oh dear!
I've discovered the Western Hemisphere.

And that, you may think, my friends, was that.
But it wasn't. Not by a fireman's hat.
Well enough wasn't left alone,
And Columbus was only a cornerstone.
There came the Spaniards,
There came the Greeks,
There came the Pilgrims in leather breeks.
There came the Dutch,
And the Poles and Swedes,
The Persians, too,
And perhaps the Medes,
The Letts, the Lapps, and the Lithuanians,
Regal Russians, and ripe Roumanians.
There came the French
And there came the Finns,
And the Japanese
With their formal grins.
The Tartars came,
And the Terrible Turks -
In a word, humanity shot the works.
And the country that should have been Cathay
Decided to be
The U.S.A.

And that, you may think, my friends, was that.
But it wasn't. Not by a fireman's hat.
Christopher C. was the cornerstone,
And well enough wasn't left alone.
For those who followed
When he was through,
They burned to discover something, too.
Somebody, bored with rural scenery,
Went to work and invented machinery,
While a couple of other mental giants
Got together
And thought up Science.
Platinum blondes

[...] Read more

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My Bow To The First Man

My Bow to the first man
To the first man and women who born
On this earth
To the first man who eat something
To come out of hungry
TO the first man who made a tent for him
To the first man who invented fire
To cook his food
To the first man who found water
Which satisfy his thirst
To the first man who seeded
First plant to produce food
To the first man who used
Sharp object to kill wild animal
For his survival
To the first man who made horse
As his travel animal
To the first man who found
Agriculture as his necessity
To the first man who invented
Language for communication
To the first man who made his
Life with wife
To the first man who got a child
Of his own to build family
To first man who invented
Pain reliever for wounds
To the first man who invented
Social life by making villages
I bow my head before their feet
And remember them always

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The Concept Of The Soul

The candle is shut and the flame is out.
The candle is left and the life has set.
Before shut, the candle must have been lit.
The unlit candle can never be shut.

The being is dead and the life is out.
The body remains lifeless and sparkles.
Does the death mean the exit of the soul?
The soul to exit, when did it enter?

Is it that the soul has entered at birth?
No, the embryo has life before the birth.
Is it that the soul has entered at zygote?
No, the sperm and the ovum have their life.

Hens lay eggs, which turn chicks; they all have life.
No stage is void for the souls to enter.
The souls are the extension of the chicks
And the chicks, the extension of the hens

The child is the offshoot of its parents,
Who in turn are of their parents and so on.
The body and the life have struck to form
A unit when the first life was born.

Death is no more than the death of a shoot.
The death of the shoot is not the death of the tree
Nor is the death of the tree the death of the seeds
Nowhere else is broken the chain of the life.

When one begets the other, the other
Is of matter and life put together.
There are no such things as soul and body
To fuse at birth and depart at death.

Germs multiply by fissions and budding
Plants diversify by seeds and cuttings.
Birds by eggs, mammals by kids, they all spread.
Germs to mankind, the life is an extension.

The soul is a single string that has run
Through all living bodies, alive or dead:
Through germs, reeds and plants, through flies, worms and prawns
Through fish, snakes and birds and through. Cows and man.

Candles and flame are not bodies and soul.
The candle is lit before it is shut.
The body is not lit with the soul
For it to be out at the time of death.

[...] Read more

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The singer

She stands on the stage
and her eyes catch mine
in front of giant speakers
that is in a row
with a cordless microphone
in her hand
and the power in her blue eyes
is magical
and I see endless energy in them.

There is something intimate in her voice
and the foreign girl bedazzles me
while she pulls a electronic piano
nearer with a white cord
and the guy next to me
says something crude
and I hit him
with my elbow
is making him windless
and his voice gets a hoarse sound
and pain
written all over his face

and she bends in front of me
and look deep into my eyes
and throw a nonchalant kiss
and the crowd cheers
and I wonder
for whom she is intending it

and a guitar hits a high note
that cuts right through everyone,
the drums boom thundering
and for moments she is only singing for me

and the audience pull out cigarette lighters
and everywhere there are bright flames
burning romantically
and a blonde girl takes my hand
and I barely notice her

and then the crowd asks loudly for an encore
where she again sings beautiful
and when I leave the super dome
there’s a bodyguard
placing a hand on my arm
and the man with the aching stomach says:
“your ticket is punched, friend”
and the bodyguard looks strictly at me
and says that I have a appointment with her.

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The Fable of 'Belling the Cat', Modern Version

Five judges at a cat show
were in a conference room
when the lights went out.

The cat being judged
was coal black and
only could be seen
when it opened its eyes,
and of course the cat was asleep.

While waiting for the lights to come on,
the conversation turned to nutrition
and as most cat show judges
must have another occupation,
it turned out that each
considered himself and herself
an authority on diet for humans.

Such it was that the cat and nutrition
became the subject of discussion
because nutrition is not unlike
a black cat in a dark room.

The judges were sure
that the cat must be found and caught
before someone opened the door,
and it escaped.
If only it had a bell attached to its collar,
How much easier it would be.

The first judge,
a Health Food Faddist, said,
'I see it.
Having particularly acute eyesight
because of my diet
of carrots and carrot juice,
I will tell you where the cat is
and someone can easily
catch and hold it.
There by the table end is the cat.'
Alas, because no one else could see,
the first one to attempt to catch the cat,
tripped over a chair and
the cat raced about the room and
Found a new place to hide.

'It's just like you all
to dismiss the value of natural foods,
see what it has gained you.'
With that the Food Faddist

[...] Read more

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Caroline

Written by lindsey buckingham.
Shes so crazy
Shes so lazy
Keeps on coming
Keeps you running
Caroline
Caroline
Time recedes with a fatal drop
Dusty fury on the mountain top
Cut the cord if you can
Caroline
Caroline
So attractive
So reactive
Caroline
Caroline
Time recedes with a fatal drop
Dusty fury on the mountain top
Cut the cord if you can
Caroline
Caroline
Caroline
Caroline
Time recedes with a fatal drop
Dusty fury on the mountain top
Cut the cord if you can
Caroline
Caroline
Caroline
Caroline

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Promise

Those words strike a cord,
a cord so true.
A cord so familiar,
it sounds so much like you.

Did I leave you behind,
I can't really tell.
For in this landscape,
there is no more wishing well.

A good thing or bad,
let time unveil itself,
Hopefully in time, I stand before you,
as a person of wealth.

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Lockdown

Live face, live wars
Live final fallen shore.
Wise up down play.
Locked spine.
The spirits rule, lies down
Rip the cord, spent with the dead.
Lockdown.
Lockdown.
Life's pace. Crowds boss.
View the scum you'll cross.
We're burned in, we're burned out.
We're burned on the fire.
Relax, lie down.
Beg to a different crown.
Wise up, down play.
Locked spine.
The spirits rule, lies down
Rip the cord, spent with the dead.
Live face, live wars
Live final fallen shore.
Relax, lie down.
Beg to a different crown.
Lockdown west side
Sent to a distant land.
Wise up, down play.
Locked spine.
The spirits rule, lies down
Rip the cord, spent with the dead.

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Lonely Soul

Richard ashcroft :
God knows youre lonely souls
God knows youre lonely souls
God knows youre lonely souls
Yeah, yeah
I believe theres a time and a place
To let your mind drift and get out of this place
I believe theres a day and a place
That we will go to, and I know you wanna share.
Theres no secret to living (theres no secret to living)
Just keep on walking
Theres no secret to dying (theres no secret to dying)
Just keep on flying.
Im gonna die in a place that dont know my name
Im gonna die in a space that dont hold my fame.
God knows youre lonely souls
God knows youre lonely souls.
I believe theres a time when the cord of life
Should be cut, my friends (cut the cord, my friend)
I believe theres a time when the cord can be cut
And this vision ends (let this vision end).
But Im gonna die in a place that dont know my name
And Im gonna cry in a space that dont hold my fame.
Walking in the cold
Just keep on flying
Therell be a searchlight
On the mountain high
God knows youre lonely souls
God knows youre lonely souls
God knows youre lonely souls
God knows youre lonely souls
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Im a lonely soul.
Im gonna die in a place that dont know my name
Im gonna die in a place that dont know my name.
God knows you are lonely souls
Lonely souls
Lonely souls
Lonely souls
Im a lonely soul.
So long, little chapel
? ? ?
Pack up your light
Pack up your light
Say goodbye to the holy water life
Ohhh.....? ? ?
? ? ?
Ahhh.....

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Sonnet: God Keeps Me Safe

Thy ‘tethered animal’ I am, O God,
To Thy divine lamp-post, I have been tied!
Thine cord of Love binds me with Thee, O God,
In Thine meadow I graze: In Thee abide.

Thine cord of Love is not one of bondage!
It gives me enough freedom that I need;
Let it become stronger, thicker with age;
On just the grass you show, let me but feed.

Let me not break Thine cord and run away;
Let me not jump over the fence in haste;
Let me be satisfied with life each day,
And never bolt to alien land to waste.

Within Thy shelter, I am safe, O Lord;
And let me eat and live as per Thy Code.

6-4-2001

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