Many baseball fans look upon an umpire as a sort of necessary evil to the luxury of baseball, like the odor that follows an automobile.
quote by Christy Mathewson
Added by Lucian Velea
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poem by Caasder Fronds
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Twin State
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poem by Caasder Fronds
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Automobile
February morning, my car wont start today
I turned the key at 8:03 and the battery passed away
Inside a my automobile
I want my automobile
I want my automobile
I want to drive it all around this world
Brides gettin married in the springtime
Widows gettin married in the fall
I got married in high school
Or I wouldnt of got married at all
Id be drivin my automobile
Be drivin my automobile
Be drivin my automobile
I wanna drive it all around this world
Everybody said to the new groom
Groom, what ya gonna be
I said Im gonna be a symphony
Just as soon as I find a key
To my automobile
I want my automobile
I want my automobile
All around this world
Spoken:
Lets take a ride
Columbus sailed the ocean
Moses parted the sea
Dolores left me yesterday
Well, I think she took the key
To my automobile
I want my automobile
I want my automobile
Wanna drive it all around this world
Now I held a little bitty baby
I held a woman all night
Whenever I get the hiccups
I hold my breath til my head gets light
Then I drive my automobile
Yeah I drive my automobile
I drive my automobile
Im want to drive it all around this world
February morning, my car wont start today
Yeah, I turned the key at 8:03
And the battery passed away
Inside a my automobile
Im drivin my automobile
Wanna my automobile
Wanna drive it all around this world
Go on.
Spoken:
It is a beautiful day for a ride
[...] Read more
song performed by John Prine
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poem by Caasder Fronds
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Bloody Luxury
(coverdale)
Now when I first met you
I was rolling along,
Just a bar room crooner
Singing heartbreak songs,
An I supposed I could never get next to you
But, you seemed quite happy with my company
You kept my body heat steady at 103,
With your mouth full of gimme
An your body full of much obliged
Its bloody luxury
What you mean to me,
Bloody luxury
What you do to me
Its bloody luxury
What you mean to me,
cos no matter what you do to me
Its bloody luxury
Bloody luxury...
Youre a five star woman,
An you know what to give
To fill a part time loser
Full of reasons to live,
But, theres no doubt about it
Im taking a chance on you
Becos you get my heart beating heavy,
Make my knees go weak
You get me so damn nervous
I can hardly speak,
But, nothings gonna stop me
Hanging on my good luck charm
Its bloody luxury
What you mean to me,
Bloody luxury
What you do to me
Its bloody luxury
What you mean to me,
cos no matter what you do to me
Its bloody luxury
Bloody luxury...
Its bloody luxury
What you mean to me,
Bloody luxury
Honey what you do to me
Its bloody luxury
What you mean to me,
cos no matter what you do to me
Its bloody luxury
Bloody luxury
What you mean to me,
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song performed by Whitesnake
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poem by Caasder Fronds
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Sounds From The Baseball Field
Batter in the home place,
That was nobly done;
Try and get the first base-
Run!
Run
! RUN!
Ah, there, short stop, will you miss?
Hear the people cheer and hiss,
Hear them yell and shout.
Twinkling legs and flying feet-
(Oh, I wonder who will beat!)
Faster, faster, out!
Umpire, umpire, go along;
That was wrong, sir, that was wrong.
Pitcher pitches, four balls,
'Take your base, my man.'
Toward the second now he crawls-
'Steal it if you can.'
Oh, the ball has gone so high,
Can they catch it on the fly?
Ah, there is no doubt,
He will get his third, I vow-
Pshaw! the ball has got there now,
'Two men out!'
Umpire, umpire, that was wrong;
Go along, sir, go along.
One man on the first base,
Not a single run.
Boys are warming to the race-
Now look out for fun.
Pitcher's arm maybe is tired;
Batter sudden seems inspired,
Grounds the ball to win.
Run there, run there, run your best,
I am screaming with the rest
'Two men in!'
Umpire, umpire, go away;
Dead wrong, dead wrong, sir, I say.
What's the matter now, pray?
Taking breath, that's all;
But the restless people say
'Play ball, play ball.'
One ball, two strikes, two balls-'Foul.'
Umpire calls, and people howl:
[...] Read more
poem by Ella Wheeler Wilcox
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Crazy 'bout An Automobile
(william r. emerson)
-man, i'm gonna tell you my story
-go on and tell about it, go on and tell about it more
-just what i've been doing
-what you've been doing, ry ?
-well, you know i used to be particular about the womens that i picked
-aha!
-yeah! they used to be tender, lean and tall, that's all
-but the way things has been going, i'll take 'em knock-kneed and bow-legged
-what ?
-i'll even take 'em bald! man. i'll tell you why
-please, tell me why!
Every woman i know is crazy 'bout an automobile
Every woman i know is crazy 'bout an automobile
And here i am standing with nothing but rubber heels.
He-hey, every woman i know, crazy 'bout an automobile
Oh, every woman i know, crazy 'bout an automobile
And here i am standing with nothing but rubber heels.
Now look'it here!
They say, walking women home is a thing of the past
Women want to ride and ride around in class
Some like cadillacs, boys, some like fords
Some like anything as long as it rolls.
Crazy 'bout an automobile [that's right]
And here i am standing with nothing but rubber heels
Well, every woman i know she's crazy 'bout an automobile
Every woman i know is crazy 'bout an automobile
And here i am standing with nothing but rubber heels
One more thing i wanna tell you
Said, riding and loving just can't be beat,
You and your woman in your own front seat.
Now, she can play with your keys, shift the gears,
Turn on your radio just loud enough to hear.
Now, she can turn up the heat and flip on your fan,
And then you start rolling just as fast as you can.
Crazy 'bout an automobile
And just here i am standing with nothing but rubber heels
Man, when i get some money i just got to get me some kind of automobile
You don't seem like the women in this town just don't pay no attention to ya 'less you're driving
Look at that big, fine buick over there
Oh, i like that one
Yeah, now, looks like somebody left the keys in it
Oh, let's take a ride
Nothing but rubber heels
song performed by Ry Cooder
Added by Lucian Velea
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A Friendly Game Of Football
We were challenged by The Dingoes - they're the pride of Squatter's Gap-
To a friendly game of football on the flat by Devil's Trap.
And we went along on horses, sworn to triumph in the game,
For the honour of Gyp's Diggings, and the glory of the same.
And we took the challenge with us. It was beautiful to see,
With its lovely curly letters, at its pretty filigree.
It was very gently worded, and it made us all feel good,
For it breathed the sweetest sentiments of peace and brotherhood.
We had Chang, and Trucker Hogan, and the man who licked The Plug,
Also Heggarty, and Hoolahan, and Peter Scott, the pug;
And we wore our knuckle-dusters, and we took a keg on tap
To our friendly game of football with The Dingoes at The Gap.
All the fellows came to meet us, and we spoke like brothers dear.
They'd a tip-dray full of tucker, and a waggon load of beer,
And some lint done up in bundles; so we reckoned there'd be fun
Ere our friendly game of football with the Dingo Club was done.
Their umpire was a homely man, a stranger to the push,
With a sweet, deceitful calmness, and a flavour of the bush.
He declared he didn't know the game, but promised on his oath
To see fair and square between the teams, or paralyse them both.
Then we bounced the ball and started, and for twenty minutes quite
We observed a proper courtesy and a heavenly sense of right,
But Fitzpatrick tipped McDougal in a handy patch of mud,
And the hero rose up, chewing dirt, and famishing for blood.
Simple Simonsen, the umpire, sorted out the happy pair,
And he found a pitch to suit them, and we left them fighting there;
But The Conqueror and Cop-Out met with cries of rage and pain,
And wild horses couldn't part those ancient enemies again.
So the umpire dragged them from the ruck, and pegged them off a patch,
And then gave his best attention to the slugging and the match.
You could hardly wish to come across a fairer-minded chap
For a friendly game of football than that umpire at The Gap.
In a while young Smith, and Henty, and Blue Ben, and Dick, and Blake,
Chose their partners from The Dingoes, and went pounding for the cake.
Timmy Hogan hit the umpire, and was promptly put to bed
'Neath the ammunition waggon, with a bolus on his head.
Feeling lonely-like, Magee took on a local star named Bent,
And four others started fighting to avoid an argument:
So Simonsen postponed the game, for fear some slight mishap
Might disturb the pleasant feeling then prevailing at The Gap.
[...] Read more
poem by Edward George Dyson
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Saga Of Dandy, The Devil & Day
[kool keith]
Why don't y'all play that pitch
The right manage gonna be in the game
[moe love]
It's the top of the ninth
Josh gibson is at the plate
The bases are loaded, it's a three and two count
And here's the pitch
[kool keith]
Steppin up to the plate, first batter
[moe love]
Kool keith
[kool keith]
Black baseball, it was a known fact jack
With the weather so hot, who could play like danny day
The greatest and the best, like the satchel brother paige
Long tom and little bomb, in the hall of fame
Like josh and bunt, be alert, duck
Everybody was down for beer and peanuts
Foxes in their sunday's best, their brightest dress
[moe love]
And on deck, ced g
[ced g]
Now baseball today troop, is mostly not racial
But back in the days it was all segregated
The whites had the majors and then the blacks had the negro leagues
They both had great talent but then us blacks have no history
Of all our great players, the teams in the ballpark
But we're here to shed light, restore the glory they haven't got
Black baseball, they paved the way
With players like dandy, the devil, and day
(repeat 3x)
Black baseball
[moe love]
Bring er home
[ced g]
Now the ballparks they played in was very far from a stadium
They only sat hundreds troops as opposed to the thousands
But the stands they was packed, for the league that was fat
With teams like the baccarats and the homestead grays
The eagles and many more, came ready to play
In cities like birmingham, newark and chi-town
The bus trips were very long, paychecks would bring a frown
But not to these players, cause they really loved baseball
You could ban them from majors, but not from the game
With players like leon day, who pitched almost every day
His arm would hold up, blowin hitters with smoke away
And then there was bullet joe, also was smokey joe
King richard and savateen, and brothers like ed pole
Next, batter up!
[...] Read more
song performed by Ultramagnetic Mc's
Added by Lucian Velea
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poem by Rwetewrt Erwtwer
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Crazy 'bout An Automobile (Every Woman I Know)
(william r. emerson)
-man, i'm gonna tell you my story
-go on and tell about it, go on and tell about it more
-just what i've been doing
-what you've been doing, ry ?
-well, you know i used to be particular about the womens that i picked
-aha!
-yeah! they used to be tender, lean and tall, that's all
-but the way things has been going, i'll take 'em knock-kneed and bow-legged
-what ?
-i'll even take 'em bald! man. i'll tell you why
-please, tell me why!
Every woman i know is crazy 'bout an automobile
Every woman i know is crazy 'bout an automobile
And here i am standing with nothing but rubber heels.
He-hey, every woman i know, crazy 'bout an automobile
Oh, every woman i know, crazy 'bout an automobile
And here i am standing with nothing but rubber heels.
Now look'it here!
They say, walking women home is a thing of the past
Women want to ride and ride around in class
Some like cadillacs, boys, some like fords
Some like anything as long as it rolls.
Crazy 'bout an automobile [that's right]
And here i am standing with nothing but rubber heels
Well, every woman i know she's crazy 'bout an automobile
Every woman i know is crazy 'bout an automobile
And here i am standing with nothing but rubber heels
One more thing i wanna tell you
Said, riding and loving just can't be beat,
You and your woman in your own front seat.
Now, she can play with your keys, shift the gears,
Turn on your radio just loud enough to hear.
Now, she can turn up the heat and flip on your fan,
And then you start rolling just as fast as you can.
Crazy 'bout an aut
song performed by Ry Cooder
Added by Lucian Velea
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From Luxury To Heartache
Luxury and heartache
Oh yeah
Oh luxury and heartache
Oh yeah
I wont be coming home tomorrow
Nobody there to catch my tears
I wont be leaving tears of sorrow anymore
I played that game for so many years
If I cry, will you catch my fall
Do you want me to be the same
If I cry, will you catch my fall
Am I playing the losers game?
From luxury to heartache
Such a long way to find that you were mourning
From luxury to heartache
Such a long way you gave me little warning
She will be there to give you children, yes she will
She will be there to make you sing, sing, sing
I wont be standing in the shadows anymore
I learned to cover up my pain
If I cry will you catch my fall
Do you want me to be the same
If I cry will you catch my fall
Am I playing the losers game?
From luxury to heartache
Such a long way to find that you were mourning
From luxury to heartache
Such a long way you gave me little warning
Gave me love
You gave your love to me
You gave me love
But its not enough for me
Oh luxury
But all you give me is pain
Again and again
Luxury is sweet and so cool
If I cry will you catch my fall
Do you want me to be the same
If I cry will you catch my fall
Am I playing the losers game?
From luxury to heartache
Such a long way to find that you were mourning
From luxury to heartache
Such a long way you gave me little warning
From luxury to heartache
Such a long way to find that you were mourning
From luxury to heartache
Such a long way you gave me, gave me no warning
song performed by Culture Club
Added by Lucian Velea
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Canto the First
I
I want a hero: an uncommon want,
When every year and month sends forth a new one,
Till, after cloying the gazettes with cant,
The age discovers he is not the true one;
Of such as these I should not care to vaunt,
I'll therefore take our ancient friend Don Juan—
We all have seen him, in the pantomime,
Sent to the devil somewhat ere his time.
II
Vernon, the butcher Cumberland, Wolfe, Hawke,
Prince Ferdinand, Granby, Burgoyne, Keppel, Howe,
Evil and good, have had their tithe of talk,
And fill'd their sign posts then, like Wellesley now;
Each in their turn like Banquo's monarchs stalk,
Followers of fame, "nine farrow" of that sow:
France, too, had Buonaparté and Dumourier
Recorded in the Moniteur and Courier.
III
Barnave, Brissot, Condorcet, Mirabeau,
Petion, Clootz, Danton, Marat, La Fayette,
Were French, and famous people, as we know:
And there were others, scarce forgotten yet,
Joubert, Hoche, Marceau, Lannes, Desaix, Moreau,
With many of the military set,
Exceedingly remarkable at times,
But not at all adapted to my rhymes.
IV
Nelson was once Britannia's god of war,
And still should be so, but the tide is turn'd;
There's no more to be said of Trafalgar,
'T is with our hero quietly inurn'd;
Because the army's grown more popular,
At which the naval people are concern'd;
Besides, the prince is all for the land-service,
Forgetting Duncan, Nelson, Howe, and Jervis.
V
Brave men were living before Agamemnon
And since, exceeding valorous and sage,
A good deal like him too, though quite the same none;
But then they shone not on the poet's page,
And so have been forgotten:—I condemn none,
But can't find any in the present age
Fit for my poem (that is, for my new one);
So, as I said, I'll take my friend Don Juan.
[...] Read more
poem by Byron from Don Juan (1824)
Added by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Hes Evil
Scene: a party political broadcast -- mr. black and his followers
He comes on smooth, cool and kind,
But he wants your body not your mind.
Hes got style, personality,
But hes the devil in reality.
Hell make you laugh, make you smile,
And make you feel good for a while.
Wicked smile, decadent grin,
He likes school girls, nuns and virgins.
His skin is soft but his mind is hard,
Hell lead you on then hell tear you apart.
Hell treat you rough and he will make you cry,
And you will kiss sweet innocence good-bye.
And once youre in therell be no getting out,
So look out, look out, look out, look out.
Hes evil. hes evil. hes evil. hes evil. hes evil.
Hes evil. hes evil. hes evil. hes evil. hes evil.
Hes got wit hes got charm.
But when he gets rough hell break your arm.
Hes got taste, manners and grace,
But when he gets tough hell slit your face.
Hell buy you jewels, expensive clothes,
Then his mindll go and hell bust your nose.
Hes a joker and a clown
But hell pervert you and drag you down.
He comes on smooth, cool and kind,
But he wants your body not your mind,
He is just the devil in disguise.
He will drag you down and he will make you cry,
And once youre in there will be no getting out.
So look out, look out, look out.
Look out, look out, look out.
Hes evil. hes evil. hes evil. hes evil. hes evil.
Hes evil. hes evil. hes evil. hes evil. hes evil.
song performed by Kinks
Added by Lucian Velea
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Black Dog
A black dog follows me,
No collar nor a lead,
Its form I can not measure,
Of undetermined breed.
A black dog followed me,
My step a merry gait,
Then it left me quite alone,
I pondered not its fate.
A black dog followed me
It disappeared a while
But it did return again
When I had gone a mile.
A black dog follows me,
My companion I'll ignore,
My tread a steady onward march,
My eyes fixed to the fore.
A black dog follows me,
It matters not what pace.
My steps are clear upon the path,
Its paws, they leave no trace.
A black dog follows me,
No others on the road.
No muse, companion, mentor, friend,
I've none to share my load.
A black dog follows me,
Like a shadow by my side.
Storm clouds dim my path.
But it will not be my guide.
A black dog follows me,
Nipping at my heel.
Anxiety eats me from within.
I question what is real.
A black dog follows me,
No interest in my tears.
With hollow smile it follows me
And catalogues my fears.
A black dog follows me.
Steeper grows the grade.
My resolution falters,
My strength begins to fade.
[...] Read more
poem by Greg Davidson
Added by Poetry Lover
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Prince Hohenstiel-Schwangau, Saviour of Society
Epigraph
Υδραν φονεύσας, μυρίων τ᾽ ἄλλων πόνων
διῆλθον ἀγέλας . . .
τὸ λοίσθιον δὲ τόνδ᾽ ἔτλην τάλας πόνον,
. . . δῶμα θριγκῶσαι κακοῖς.
I slew the Hydra, and from labour pass'd
To labour — tribes of labours! Till, at last,
Attempting one more labour, in a trice,
Alack, with ills I crowned the edifice.
You have seen better days, dear? So have I —
And worse too, for they brought no such bud-mouth
As yours to lisp "You wish you knew me!" Well,
Wise men, 't is said, have sometimes wished the same,
And wished and had their trouble for their pains.
Suppose my Œdipus should lurk at last
Under a pork-pie hat and crinoline,
And, latish, pounce on Sphynx in Leicester Square?
Or likelier, what if Sphynx in wise old age,
Grown sick of snapping foolish people's heads,
And jealous for her riddle's proper rede, —
Jealous that the good trick which served the turn
Have justice rendered it, nor class one day
With friend Home's stilts and tongs and medium-ware,—
What if the once redoubted Sphynx, I say,
(Because night draws on, and the sands increase,
And desert-whispers grow a prophecy)
Tell all to Corinth of her own accord.
Bright Corinth, not dull Thebes, for Lais' sake,
Who finds me hardly grey, and likes my nose,
And thinks a man of sixty at the prime?
Good! It shall be! Revealment of myself!
But listen, for we must co-operate;
I don't drink tea: permit me the cigar!
First, how to make the matter plain, of course —
What was the law by which I lived. Let 's see:
Ay, we must take one instant of my life
Spent sitting by your side in this neat room:
Watch well the way I use it, and don't laugh!
Here's paper on the table, pen and ink:
Give me the soiled bit — not the pretty rose!
See! having sat an hour, I'm rested now,
Therefore want work: and spy no better work
For eye and hand and mind that guides them both,
During this instant, than to draw my pen
From blot One — thus — up, up to blot Two — thus —
Which I at last reach, thus, and here's my line
Five inches long and tolerably straight:
[...] Read more
poem by Robert Browning (1871)
Added by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Drop Kick That Evil
We've got to get together and defeat the beast that eats...
Any remnants of peace!
That beast wants to cease a potential feasting of peace,
Released.
And this keeps a people teased by evil.
We've got to get together on collective feet.
And march together in a harmonized beat.
To sweep away the preaching of what's evil.
Drop kick that evil.
Like a football kicked right over a goal.
Drop kick that evil.
Don't leave it in your hands to hold.
To get tackled and crushed up.
Laying flat on a knocked out butt.
We've got to get together and defeat the beast that eats...
Any remnants of peace!
We've got to get together on collective feet.
And march together in a harmonized beat.
To sweep away the preaching of what's evil.
Drop kick that evil.
Like a football kicked right over a goal.
Drop kick that evil.
Don't leave it in your hands to hold...
To get your butt dumped on!
That beast wants to cease a potential feasting of peace,
Released.
And this keeps a people teased by evil.
Drop kick that evil.
There is nothing that appeals.
Drop kick that evil.
No matter how you feel...
'Eveal' is real.
Drop kick that evil.
There is nothing that appeals.
Drop kick that evil.
No matter how you feel...
'Eveal' is real.
Drop kick that evil.
There is nothing that appeals.
Drop kick that evil.
No matter how you feel...
'Eveal' is real.
[...] Read more
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Added by Poetry Lover
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Evil, I Call You!
Evil, I am calling!
Evil, do you hear?
Evil, I’m imploring!
Please – I beg your ear!
Evil, I beseech you Sir!
Evil, be you near?
Evil, might you spare some time?
Please – you must appear!
Deep in barren ground I feel a rumble and a quake:
Evil stirs beneath me now – oh how the earth doth shake!
Dark begins retreating back and gives to eerie glow:
Light of hues appeal to mind in glory of His show!
I, so truly worthy, view Evil’s phosphorescence!
I, so truly honoured, scent Evil’s rancid essence!
Whenceforth He rose – ‘twas Evil’s phantasm!
Climax unfolds in Evil’s orgasm!
He lowered His sight to peer my form
From orbits sunk in fiery storm.
Incredulous now, and twice in awe, I
Harkened close to Evil’s roar:
‘I Evil, appear at your request!
Pray tell, of what is thine behest!
Your say must be bold, for you do not run, and
You’re evil enough – is my work not done?
So speak of your wanting, my impious serf,
To hail my cathedral so deep in this earth. ’
I pulled up with pride and pushed out my chest:
‘Though I be Man in all his great fame,
My evil is lacking – my damage is lame –
I crave for the power that you can instill, to
Heighten my evil and drive up the thrill! '
Evil stared in disbelief:
Could I see a trace of grief?
‘I, Evil, must say unto you:
I see wars of destruction – both savage and wild –
People lay dying – that’s woman and child!
All of mankind lay poisoned and green
From virus of hatred – oh this I have seen!
You fight and you kill and maim animals and all:
[...] Read more
poem by Mark R Slaughter
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Old Spookses' Pass
I.
WE'D camped that night on Yaller Bull Flat,--
Thar was Possum Billy, an' Tom, an' me.
Right smart at throwin' a lariat
Was them two fellers, as ever I see;
An' for ridin' a broncho, or argyin' squar
With the devil roll'd up in the hide of a mule,
Them two fellers that camp'd with me thar
Would hev made an' or'nary feller a fool.
II.
Fur argyfyin' in any way,
Thet hed to be argy'd with sinew an' bone,
I never see'd fellers could argy like them;
But just right har I will hev to own
Thet whar brains come in in the game of life,
They held the poorest keerds in the lot;
An' when hands was shown, some other chap
Rak'd in the hull of the blamed old pot!
III.
We was short of hands, the herd was large,
An' watch an' watch we divided the night;
We could hear the coyotes howl an' whine,
But the darned critters kept out of sight
Of the camp-fire blazin'; an' now an' then
Thar cum a rustle an' sort of rush--
A rattle a-sneakin' away from the blaze,
Thro' the rattlin', cracklin' grey sage bush.
IV.
We'd chanc'd that night on a pootyish lot,
With a tol'ble show of tall, sweet grass--
We was takin' Speredo's drove across
The Rockies, by way of "Old Spookses' Pass"--
An' a mite of a creek went crinklin' down,
Like a "pocket" bust in the rocks overhead,
Consid'able shrunk, by the summer drought,
To a silver streak in its gravelly bed.
V.
'Twas a fairish spot fur to camp a' night;
An' chipper I felt, tho' sort of skeer'd
That them two cowboys with only me,
Couldn't boss three thousand head of a herd.
I took the fust of the watch myself;
An' as the red sun down the mountains sprang,
I roll'd a fresh quid, an' got on the back
Of my peart leetle chunk of a tough mustang.
VI.
An' Possum Billy was sleepin' sound
Es only a cowboy knows how to sleep;
An' Tommy's snores would hev made a old
Buffalo bull feel kind o' cheap.
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poem by Isabella Valancy Crawford
Added by Poetry Lover
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