The Night Before Larry Was Stretched
The night before larry was stretched
Oh, the night before larry was stretched
Well the boys they all paid him a visit
A bit in their sacks too they fetched
For they sweated their duds till they ris it
For larry was always the lad
When a boy was condemned to the squeezer
Would fence all the duds that he had
For to help his poor friend to a sneezer--
-- and warm his ol gob fore he died
Well the boys they came crowding in fast
And they threw all their stools round about him
Six glims round his trap-case was placed
For he couldnt be well-waked without them
When one of them asked, could he die
Without having duly repented?
Said larry, thats all in me eye
And first by the clergy invented--
--for to get a fat bit for themselves
Oh and Ill be cut up like a pie:
And me nob from me body be parted.
Youre in the wrong box, then, says i,
For blast me if theyre so hard-hearted
A chalk on the back of your neck
Is all that jack catch dares to give you
Then mind not such trifles affect
Oh why should the likes of them grieve you? --
--and now boys, come tip us the deck.
Well the cards being called for they played
Until larry found one of them cheated
A point in his napper was made
For the boy hed been easily heated
Oh, hold me the hokey, you thief!
Ill scuttle your knob with me dodle!
You cheat me because Im in grief
Ah, but soon Ill demolish your noddle--
--and leave you your claret to drink
Then the clergy came in with his book
And he spoke him so smooth and so civil
Larry tipped him kill-sour look
And he pitched his big wig to the devil
Then sighing he threw back his head
For to get a sweet drop of the bottle
And dutiful sighing he said,
Oh the hempt twill be soon round me throttle--
--and choke me poor windpipe to death.
Oh then sure its the best way to die
Oh the dead are no better the living
For now when the gallows is high
Our journey is shorter to heaven.
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song performed by Elvis Costello
Added by Lucian Velea
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