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I Need A Dog

the television watches me
like im it's mindless prisoner
my remote has become moist
from holding it far too long
my computer beckons me
just as my television did
minutes turn into hours
and what started as casual browsing
has turned into obsessive numbness
my life is perpetual laziness
fueled by compulsive stalking
my prey: fictitious characters
on TV and bygone friends of old
back and forth i pace, wondering
how i got to where i am
where are the kisses from the girlfriend
ive never had, where is the silken
black hair my fingers are meant to comb through
back and forth i pace, begging
all that is good to grant my heart solidarity
anxiety washes over me from the endless pacing
so there, sitting on my threadbare couch,
i search through my phone to find someone,
to find a reason to spark conversation
i dont have many contacts,
mostly work friends and relatives.
i have nothing to say to them,
and if i did, i wouldnt say anything
id just text them
im so lonely i cant even muster up
the enthusiasm to actually speak
anxiety washes over me from the realization
of having no friends, no life, and no purpose
all i have is loneliness
i dont cry, i never do
my best friend is myself,
and despise him

i need a dog

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