Always Wanted To Wear Your Shoes
o sister o sister
my beautiful and powerful big sister;
i wish i knew you like i once did
o sister o sister
my wise and worldly big sister;
i wish i knew the remedy for what has rent itself between us
a thousand hateful things i've said to you;
wish i knew how to soften those words
I don't know what you mean by formal, not sure how to be formal
I miss you
and dare I say you were right in many ways
are there amends for my intolerance of your menopause
which is when know that things began to really fall apart
and now, as i swallow black cohosh capsules
and find myself yet again in a back against the wall situation;
i'm wishing i'd ever learned to do things like you
learned to make the best of things,
find and develop my own creative spark
& now there is no you to run to
and i've yet again made choices without a backup plan.
this seems to have become the pattern of my life
never really finishing anything
testing the waters here and there
often trying to live up to you
there were times when i wished u were my mother
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poem by Pilar Mogollon
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