The Rival Curates
List while the poet trolls
Of MR. CLAYTON HOOPER,
Who had a cure of souls
At Spiffton-extra-Sooper.
He lived on curds and whey,
And daily sang their praises,
And then he'd go and play
With buttercups and daisies.
Wild croquet HOOPER banned,
And all the sports of Mammon,
He warred with cribbage, and
He exorcised backgammon.
His helmet was a glance
That spoke of holy gladness;
A saintly smile his lance;
His shield a tear of sadness.
His Vicar smiled to see
This armour on him buckled:
With pardonable glee
He blessed himself and chuckled.
"In mildness to abound
My curate's sole design is;
In all the country round
There's none so mild as mine is!"
And HOOPER, disinclined
His trumpet to be blowing,
Yet didn't think you'd find
A milder curate going.
A friend arrived one day
At Spiffton-extra-Sooper,
And in this shameful way
He spoke to Mr. HOOPER:
"You think your famous name
For mildness can't be shaken,
That none can blot your fame -
But, HOOPER, you're mistaken!
"Your mind is not as blank
As that of HOPLEY PORTER,
Who holds a curate's rank
At Assesmilk-cum-Worter.
[...] Read more
poem by William Schwenck Gilbert
Added by Poetry Lover
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