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Advanced Calculus

Life is a series of reflex responses
That become learned patterns the more we do them
That become equations the more we interpret what we are doing,
And everything in our life can be boiled down to a matrix
Of numbers, coded as experience and stimuli,
And all I want to know is what the last digit is,
What that fraction of numerical meaning might pose,
How I could interpret it and extricate some sort of purpose from it,
But the numbers don't exactly add up to me,
And I was never so good at advanced calculus,
So maybe a chunk of this universal dialect doesn't make sense to me,
Doesn't formulate a language I can readily understand,
But maybe, just maybe, I hope that I might proselytize the date,
And that it might inform me, though so far it hasn't,
Making me more fearful, in fact, afraid of the possibility
That there is no reason to anything at all.

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