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Sticking To Each Other Alone

3 p.m. meeting
it starts with a hesitation
to go or not to go
but i have decided to
go and speak
as they listen
offering some solutions
which i should have kept
as mine alone, what is there within me
that opens up
to those that have been putting me into disgrace?
i am trying to capture words
to help me understand this void
hoping that there must be something as concrete as a stone in there
or perhaps a snail
feeling the smooth feel of a plant skin
i drive me way home
imagining the grimaces of those who pretended to listen
and who signified that they will
consider my points
for ponder
a reflection in a mirror as that old wicked woman was trying to say
but i closed my mouth
and did not blink
staring at her saying silently to my soul
'this is the enemy
that i must pulverize'
and for which for years i had no courage
she is here
in a confrontational situation still mocking me with her

i look at my watch signifying that i must leave now
as the driver is waiting
my wife signals that she is going with me
we do not ride the car
we tell the driver to wait as we still need a walk
have pizza and start to review matters and talk
about what are we doing with our lives
why are we anchoring it on them

i am silent
i will not tell her that that will be the last
i don't fit there

i am neither round nor square.

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