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You Don't Do Crack Or Speed

You don’t do crack or speed or heroin;
you’re not lifting the moon like an eyelid
to find a new place to shoot,
but you’re boiling your heart in a spoon,
you’re thawing the six rocks of your emotions,
boiling away the seven oceans
that will get you through the night
as if you were another sign of global warming.
And now you’re weeping and raging in my living room,
violently shapeshifting through your withdrawal
like an exorcism gone wrong
because the latest hot lover
you got hooked on like a dealer
proved to be a snakeoil salesman in paradise
who convinced you the scales of your daring
would turn into feathers
and your falling take flight.
Not everybody who jumps from heaven makes hell;
for example, your heart there on that rock
you’re kicking around at your feet
like the skull of the world,
isn’t that the sun on your horizon
pouring out of its broken shell like the yoke
of another tragic casualty of spring
fallen like Icarus from the embryonic wax
of your exaggerated wingspan?
Love is not a form of substance abuse
and I’m not the local, walk-in rehab centre
you can duck into anytime
you’ve spent your last dime like a bullet
on a dealer that’s not reloading,
but pain is pain and I can feel yours
chaining itself to all your emergency doors
so that no one could ever get out
when you go hunting for yourself
like a contract you’ve taken out on a highschool.
But it isn’t the object of your longing,
the focus of the star, the shining
that you’re addicted to
like all those placebos and soothers
you keep calling boyfriends,
faking you’re better
everytime you take one:
you’re addicted to addiction.
You’re addicted to the promise you mean to keep.
And you can keep on
taking your clothes off like Christmas
and suffering the usual unwrapping depressions,
but you’re addicted to being a gift
that was meant for someone else

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