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When You've Averaged Out Your Crucials

When you've averaged out your crucials
and you've walked in the light and you've walked
in the shadows of things your eyes still taste of
though you've set a star as the moral compass
of your cloudy destination, and it's following you
down a long stray thread of a road, the smart money
bets on doing some good in the world
you may not even be aware of, let alone
expect payback for as if you were doing business
not gambling on an intuitionally calculated risk
its probably better to leave a sweeter cachet to the place
for your having been here, chicory by the side of the road,
or wild orchids in the marsh, by the addition
of one flower more than to desecrate your life
with bitterness, resentment, the indifference of ambition
when its heart gargles with an inhumane antiseptic
to keep from being infected by the human in its bloodstream.

You don't have to arrange paradigms of shining
into some kind of mandalic starmap unless you want to.
Giving something up isn't the same as adding yourself to it.
Even if you foreknow you're doomed to lose, total eclipse,
if you're a real gambler, you lose with flare, like a solar corona.
You're intrigued by the unfolding of the road you took,
the river you're running, the rapids in the mindstream
you're about to shoot down the middle in an inflatable life raft
in the spring run off of the waterclock of a reverential northern river.
It might be important to seek
the eventual forgiveness of the night
for what we've done to it, treating it as a reward
for breathing our way through another day in the light.
But the stars aren't listening to the alibis
we're whispering in the dark to our selves.
They labour under the cowbells of their own myths of origin.

But you can always do a little good in the world.
The whole place is wounded. No shortage of opportunity.
You can drive the ambulance back to the hospital.
You can be the atom that decides the outcome
of a cosmic event, so slight are the actions of the random,
chaos in action, it just takes one to light up
infinite time and space moment by moment
and blow it out just as quickly to enhance the night,
the pulsar of a firefly in a lighthouse of dark matter.
You ever wonder how many messiahs
have come and gone from the world
without ever once having heard of themselves?
If you don't like to drink spit out of the public fountains
of other people's mouths, though they exhale rainbows in the mist
maybe it's time to taste your own to see if it's sweet or not.

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