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My life will never be normal

i live day by day,
wondering if i will ever be normal,
i realize that it is not possible,
every bit of part of me that was taken,
will never be given back,
it like i died everytime i was abused,
my world turned upside down,
i became use to living my life the same,
numb, confused and nobody to turn to,
nights were lonely,
and full of nightmares,
the only way i can excape was to fly,
fly away and never return,
now that i'm older,
just hot wiring a car in my dreams,
just so i can excape the pain and torture,
is a dream come true,
when the nights are suppose to be seen as good,
mine were awasys dark,
i regret even falling asleep,
but it what the body needs,
there are times i lay in bed,
just wondering how my life got this way,
tears run down my face,
anger rushes to the surface,
some selfish punk had their fun,
and left nothing but pain,
it wasn't even fun,
it what they call,
money will keep you quiet,
let me do what i want,
some selfish prick,
who deserve what they get in life,
i'm done blaming myself for what happened in the past,
what happened, happened,
it my life that i have to live now,
it just sucks when guys judge me,
for what happened in my past,
it just don't seem fair,
but it time to stop being the victim,
and start being the survivor!

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