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0017 Sandy Claws, Avenger from the Ocean of Goodwill

The tale I have to tell, children,
is not a pretty one – so,
PARENTAL SUPERVISION IS ADVISED;
though on the other hand,
as moral tales should, it has
a happy Dickensian ending,
where, as moral tales should tell,
the last state is infinitely better than the first;
and perhaps, who knows, your parents
may even benefit from the telling
though, naturally, without mentioning the fact.

’Twas Christmas Eve. The Smugg family
were sitting around their fine dining table
made from wood from sustainable forests
in their photographable and photographed
Bahamas beach bungalow in its
gated enclave with 24-hour porterage and security,
about to tuck in to their Christmas Eve locally sourced
corn-fed free range hand-reared organic
turkey –
Dad, Mom, and their 2.4 children;
Point Four was attended by his personally recommended
Filipino nanny who it was understood
did not take part in the general conversation.

The Smugg family were feeling good in themselves
and let’s leave out the obvious wordplay here.
Since October 1, when the calendar in the main
restroom had been annotated ‘Start Thinking
About Christmas Presents! ’, they had each
in company with their Family LifeStyle Consultant devised
exactly the right present for each other
and their family (Dec 25 5-9 pm)
and friends (Dec 25,12 noon-3 pm) .

* * *

Christmas night (the turkey was rich in vitamins and essential oils)
was a disturbed one for the Smugg family -
snug and smug as a bug in a rug yet
afflicted by nightmares which despite
24-hour security and panic button with
guaranteed five-minute guard attendance
all shared the same dreadful sound –
the sound of sandy claws… scraping… scraping…
at the locally constructed handcrafted
front door… scraping… scraping…
a sound so terrible that not a hand
reached out from the bugsnug Smuggs

[...] Read more

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