0007 A Crocodile's Tears for Steve
I shall miss my pet human, Steve.
I loved to play with him,
hear the gasps from the watching millions,
grinning my big toothy grin,
stretching up to grab the snack
knowing well that I could have snacked
on him instead or
knocked him aside, grabbed his baby,
gulp
but hey, who’s stoopid enough
to eat their meal ticket?
Steve worked hard for me –
who has a pet that efficient, hard-working?
Better than a robot and
just as predictable.
He made all the arrangements,
kept me in luxury.
And the really big deal,
We crocs get protected world-wide
if we pretend to behave around people
and so do all the animals,
which is a good thing
since we can all, each species,
do one thing at least better than any man..
did you think of that, pet?
So though humans, being the inferior
do-a-lot-of-things-but-badly species,
do lots of idiotic things
that would ruin the planet
that animals run so well
if you let us,
they’re OK as pets
if you treat them right
and we have to share the planet
with the idiots anyway
don’t forget that animals
always know one thing above all –
is it in our interest
to kill our pet humans?
that’s where that stoopid sting-ray
showed itself an inferior species,
guess it hadn’t known Steve
long enough to suss that out,
or got swollen head (well look at it) being
on TV, thought it was a character
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poem by Michael Shepherd
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