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He's off to the gym

Make sure you look the part
smart tracksuit should do the trick
remember you haven't been for ages
just tell them you've been sick.
Take it easy and don't go mad
it takes time to get really fit
and don't go lifting heavy weights
remember your getting on a bit.
Make sure you warm up first
do some running on the spot
then do some stretching exercises
now you'll be sweaty and really hot.
You want to lose some weight
and get yourself a nice six pack
but remember your not a teenager
and you've got gout and a dodgy back.
Now you'll probably go on the treadmill
and pretend your in a real race
but remember what happened last time
you fell off and landed on your face.
Still at least your having a go
and not at home watching the telly
but it will take more than one session
to get rid of your enormous beer belly.
But I hope this time you keep it up
and not get fed up with your fitness regime
but I honestly think you've left it too late
to get a place in the national Olympic team!

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