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Fake Laughs

I've done a lot of good
helped out when I could
treated all individuals as equals
well I try,
still doesn't outweigh the bad
the hearts I've broken
the tears I've caused
the words I never spoke of, yet hoping
one would read my thoughts
to search as I'm lost

My sins haunt
only a shadow of mine
walks aside a grey line
beyond forgiveness
incarcerated beside fake relations
causing all that is and was
real to deplete, replaced
by all that is fake

Smiles, laughs, hugs
even the heart
I'm beyond forgiveness
so I don't ask for it
my only wish
is that my death isn't like my life
alone

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