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Holier Than Thou

It's a Mortal Sin, everyone knows,
To masturbate or blow your nose!
My Christian friend is so squeaky clean
It makes want to shout out something obscene!
He's kind and wholesome, almost 'organic'
Like the fruit or vegetables, but I'm a cynic,
Why does he have to be so 'nice'?
Please, God, redeem him with some vice
And bring his virtue to an end
Before he drives me round the bend! !

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