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Batter My Buttocks

Batter my buttocks and b*gger me badly,
Beat me and bruise me and make my bum sore! !
I know an old sailor who'll do it quite gladly
But he's not the sweet lady whose hands I adore,
She'll do anything and I love her so madly,
She'll torture and wound me till I cry out for more! !
The trouble with this, I admit to you sadly,
Is she charges a lot and I am quite poor! !

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