If You Want To Become Obese, Catch A Cold (Fun Poem 37)
According to a news story, I read yesterday.
Every time to cough or sneeze,
you put on an extra pound or two.
According to the scientists, obesity can be party blamed
to the good old common cold.
Now if their figures are right
I should be weighing in at about ten tons by now,
as I rarely seem to be without a cold,
spring summer, winter or fall.
Mind you, it would help to explain
why people remark that my wife
seems a lot shorter than I do.
She is standing in my footprints,
which make potholes wherever I go.
However, it gets better than that;
they say the virus is transmitted through our dirty hands.
I am assuming they want us to wash
our hands every five minutes of the day.
In that case, we should carry a bowl of water
around our necks, with a bar of soap and some disposable towels.
You have to laugh at this though.
I remember a few years ago the self same scientists
sent a troupe of scouts away for a month and told them not to wash.
When they came back dirty from head to foot,
the scientist declared they had fewer germs
on them than someone who showered every day.
Now they are telling us dirty hands help us catch colds and obesity.
So we can forget about the diets and the expensive gyms.
All we have to beware of is the common cold,
of which they have never found a cure for,
because if we catch one you can stack on the pounds.
You may even become like me a ten-ton weakling!
poem by David Harris
Added by Poetry Lover
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