Why Keep On Living? ....[LONG; Personal; End-of-Life Choices]
This may not my typical poem be... because
I don't plan to use much rhyming.... you wait and see!
As my wife is away in Japan
and I hold down the fort....
watering plants, doing outdoor chores, paying bills....
I ask myself.....again...why keep living?
It's kind of a depressing question as it implies
that I don't enjoy life enough to want to keep living
or I feel there is a good reason to die.
Neither position is exactly what's in my mind.
It's not that I feel any god-commanded mandate,
or even, exactly, a human mandate to keep living....
though I have been coerced by both my daughter
and my wife to stay alive for now.
(Shannon wants her as-yet-unborn children to 'know' me;
my wife wants to die before I do; I'm not sure why.)
I'm 61 and relatively healthy. My wife encourages good health. I don't WANT to die, exactly, though there are times
when I think death would be 'nice'.
Death could be 'easier' than living.
I sometimes say I feel I use too many resources, etc..
(my wife says I eat too much.)
Call me 'lazy' if you will. …..I sometimes (rarely)
lie in bed on my back, feel exceptionally relaxed,
and think…..
‘if death were like this I would welcome it.'
[And maybe it is.]
Don't get my wrong. I have a good life as lives go.
I feel 'blessed' to be: male, white, a 'good' height
and weight (I think) , modestly attractive, healthy,
raised Christian (though no longer) , heterosexual,
financially secure, Anglo-Saxon, 'middle (lower) class',
relatively intelligent, living in America, and having
(I think) good common sense. I had a safe,
educated upbringing. I have a lovely and loving daughter.
And, most of all, I have a lovely and loving wife.
Not that I feel being 'male, white' etc. makes
me 'better' than other people. I DON'T! Really.
But, given my surroundings, I believe the above
conditions have been advantageous for my life …..
for my comfort, well-being....whatever one calls it.
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poem by Bri Edwards
Added by Poetry Lover
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