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The M & M Candy Telephone

The M & M Candy Telephone

The device is switched to mute.
Not a sound comes from
the Raisin Bran guys except
for the pre-programmed
visual message on the LCD screen.

When the receiver flashes
instead of ringing
the Venus de Milo deodorant statue
doesn't move an arm
to pick up the handset.

~~~
Alex Nodopaka Feb©2010
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poem by Alex Nodopaka
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Acid 8000

Your booty move, your booty move
Your booty move, your booty move
Your booty move, your booty move
Your booty move, your booty move
Your booty move, your booty move
Your booty move, your booty move
Your booty move, your booty move
Your booty move, your booty move
Your booty move, your booty move
Your booty move, your booty move
Your booty move, your booty move
Your booty move, your booty move
Your booty move
- its so easy to get acid, you can get it anywhere.
If you dont make your booty move, your booty must be dead
If you dont make your booty move, your booty must be dead
If you dont make your booty move, your booty must be dead
If you dont make your booty move, your booty must be dead
If you dont make your booty move, your booty must be dead
If you dont make your booty move, your booty must be dead
If you dont make your booty move, your booty move, your booty move
Your booty move, your booty move, your booty move, your booty move
Your booty move, your booty move
Your booty move, your booty move
Your booty move, your booty move
Your booty move, your booty move
Your booty move, your booty move
Your booty move, your booty move
Your booty move, your booty move
Your booty move, your booty move
Your booty move, your booty move
Your booty move, your booty move
Your booty move, your booty move
Your booty move, your booty move
Your booty move, your booty move
Your booty move, your booty move
Your booty move, your booty move
Your booty move, your booty move
Your booty move, your booty move
Your booty move, your booty move
Your booty move, your booty move
Your booty move, your booty move
Your booty move, your booty move
Your booty move, your booty move
Your booty move, your booty move
Your booty move
If you dont make your booty move, your booty must be dead
If you dont make your booty move, your booty must be dead
If you dont make your booty move, your booty must be dead
If you dont make your booty move, your booty must be dead

[...] Read more

song performed by Fatboy Slim
Added by Lucian Velea
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Lies About Tall Guys

Just seems like it’s that way to me

Taller guys seem to get executive jobs
Shorter guys work mostly as clerks
Taller guys never seem to be slobs
Shorter guys always seem to be jerks

Taller guys seem to get all of the action
Shorter guys seem to be quite invisible
Taller guys always seem to deserve satisfaction
Shorter guys are lonely and miserable

Just seems like it’s that way to me

Taller guys just seem born to play sports
Shorter guys kinda seem to like tennis
Taller guys certainly look better in shorts
Shorter guys look like Dennis the Menace

Taller guys are usually at the top of their class
Shorter guys seem to fail quite a lot
Taller guys always seem to kick ass
Shorter guys want to, but simply cannot

sure seems like it’s that way to me

Taller guys get better grades and such
Shorter guys seem to barely scrape by
Taller guys seem to do better, pretty much
Shorter guys always wonder why

Taller guys seem to have eyes like a hawk
Shorter guys seem to wear glasses a lot
Taller guys cover more ground when they walk
Shorter guys, to keep up, have to trot

Sure seems like it’s that way to me

Taller guys and their friends look like N.B.A players
Shorter guys look more like cheerleaders
Taller guys seem to look like dragon slayers
Shorter guys look a lot more like bleeders

[...] Read more

poem by David Whalen
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Programmed

Programmed since birth by Lord Almighty to diffuse
resplendent shade; was the gregariously blooming and
enchantingly exuberant tree,

Programmed since birth by Lord Almighty to disseminate
Omnipotent light; was the aristocratically flamboyant
and blisteringly blossoming Sun,

Programmed since birth by Lord Almighty to generate
rhapsodically unlimited tanginess; was the boundlessly
ebullient and triumphantly undulating Ocean,

Programmed since birth by Lord Almighty to fulminate
into a paradise of eternal sensuousness; was the
ravishingly titillating and celestially egalitarian
dewdrop,

Programmed since birth by Lord Almighty to mystically
enthrall even the most alien creature; was the
enigmatically uncanny and convivially compassionate
forest,

Programmed since birth by Lord Almighty to spawn into
a civilization of sacrosanct vivaciousness; was
impeccably invincible and blessed mother’s milk,

Programmed since birth by Lord Almighty to waft into
stupendously enamoring redolence; was the poignantly
crimson petal and unconquerably majestic rose,

Programmed since birth by Lord Almighty to effulgently
bond one and all in the bonds of humanity alike; was
the everlastingly perpetual spirit of timeless
camaraderie and companionship,

Programmed since birth by Lord Almighty to stand as
the most unflinching citadel even as hell gorily
reverberated from each cranny of this fathomless
planet; was the blissfully melanging and unassailably
fragrant religion of mankind,

Programmed since birth by Lord Almighty to expunge a
valley of vivid boisterousness; was the astoundingly
sweet and eclectically buzzing honey bee,

Programmed since birth by Lord Almighty to culminate
into regally inebriating melody; was the beautifully
emerald crested and innocuously mellifluous
nightingale,

[...] Read more

poem by Nikhil Parekh
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Candy Girl

When you were 17 and I was 19
We feel deep in love growin up in queens
We didnt know a thing about love
We was innocent, sneakin on the doorstep to hug
Held you tightly and promised you the world
You gave me hickeys and said you was my girl
When I think about it now it makes me smile
cause I aint felt these butterflies in a while
Funny how you grow up and innocence fades
We used to live for love but now were afraid
{of what? }
Of the darkness and bitter memories
Lovers who crushed us through infidelity
I promised you Ill love you to the end
Always and forever, since way back when, uh
Youre like candy,
The worlds sweetest friend
You taste better now than you did back then
You will always be my candy
[be my]
One day we will start a family
You will always be my candy girl
[you will always be my]
(youll be my candy girl forever)
You will always be my candy
[yes, you will]
I want your love girl understand me
[yes, you will]
You will always be my candy girl
(Im down for whatever)
While you suck caramel apple lollypops
Rain, sleet, or snow Im troopin up the murdock
We used to walk down the block, hold hands
I would get you after school cause I was your man
And, any guys that wanna socialize
Just know that imma flip on any cat that tries
My peeps used to say I was whipped
All your girls said, since you got with him you flipped
But, uh, they couldnt feel the feelings we felt
Mirrors on the ceiling we melt
I would look up at ya
I remember the afternoon you surrendered
We made love,
Your temperature was high as could be
You said, todd, promise you aint lyin to me
And as we went our separate ways you turned back
Smiled, I remember all that
You will always be my candy
[be my]
One day we will start a family

[...] Read more

song performed by New Edition
Added by Lucian Velea
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Love Receiver

I send my message out
Across the city tonight
To communicate and to call your number
Tune me in, Im your satellite
Get ready for my transmission
Youre my love receiver
Youll be my love receiver
And youre my love receiver
Ive got this big transformer
And I wanna turn it on tonight
Well Ive got broadcast power, put a line in me
Ive got my antenna up and ready
Just dial me in on your frequency
Get ready, for my, transmission
Your my love receiver
Youll be my love receiver
And youre my love receiver
Ive got this big transformer
And I wanna turn it on tonight
Dont touch that dial, baby
Youre gonna drain it all night, yeah
(the miracle mile)
Baby, hey, hey
Get ready, for my transmission
Youre my...
Youre my love receiver, yeah
Youre my love receiver, yeah
Youre my love receiver, yeah
Youre my love receiver, yeah
Youre my love receiver
Youll be my love receiver
And youre my love receiver
Ive got this big transformer
And I wanna turn it on tonight
Youre my love receiver
Youll be my love receiver
And youre my love receiver
Ive got a big transformer and I wanna turn it on
(got on overloaded socket...)
Broadcast power and I want an overload...tonight

song performed by Rick Springfield
Added by Lucian Velea
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The Bells Are Ringing

The bells are ringing
The song theyre singing
The sound is bringing the people round
They hear the instructions
They follow directions
They travel great distances to the sound
The bells are ringing
The song theyre singing
The sound is bringing the people round (the bells are ringing the song theyre singing the sound is)
They hear the instructions (bringing the people round)
They follow directions
They travel great distances to the sound (they travel great distances to the sound)
They are persuaded by the music of the bells
Theyre not responsible for anything they do
(no) the people know
(no) the way to go
The bells are ringing, they hear the sound
They hear the sound (they hear the sound)
They hear the sound (they hear the sound)
They hear the sound (they hear the sound)
They hear the sound
The bells are ringing
And everyones walking
With arms extended in a trance
Forgetting their washing
Neglecting the children
Theyre dropping all businesses at hand
A voice is telling them to act a different way
They tilt their heads so they wont miss what it will say
(no) and when its so
(no) theres this to know
The bells are ringing, they hear the sound
The bells are ringing
The song theyre singing
The sound is bringing the people round
They hear the instructions
They follow directions
They travel great distances to the sound
They are persuaded by the music of the bells
Theyre not responsible for anything they do
(no) the people know
(no) the way to go
The bells are ringing, they hear the sound
A girl with cotton in her ears
Is shielded from the bells effect
As if by hidden signal
The people turn to face her
One thousand eyes are staring
They pull away her earplugs
The bells are pealing

[...] Read more

song performed by They Might Be Giants
Added by Lucian Velea
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Candy

Candy
Its a rainy afternoon
In 1990
The big city geez its been 20 years-
Candy-you were so fine
Beautiful beautiful
Girl from the north
You burned my heart
With a flickering torch
I had a dream that no one else could see
You gave me love for free
Candy, candy , candy I cant let you go
All my life youre haunting me
I loved you so
Candy, candy , candy I cant let you go
Life is crazy
Candy baby
Yeah, well it hurt me real bad when you left
Im glad you got out
But I miss you
Ive had a hole in my heart
For so long
Ive learned to fake it and
Just smile along
Down on the street
Those men are all the same
I need a love
Not games
Not games
Candy, candy, candy I cant let you go
All my life youre haunting me
I loved you so
Candy, candy , candy I cant let you go
Life is crazy
I know baby
Candy baby
Uou uou uou
Candy, candy, candy I cant let you go
All my life youre haunting me
I loved you so
Candy candy candy
Life is crazy
Candy baby
Candy baby,
Candy, candy

song performed by Iggy Pop
Added by Lucian Velea
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The Two Workmen

MILO. BATTUS.
MILO.
Well, my poor ploughman, and what ails thee now?
Thy furrow lies not even as of yore:
They fellows leave behind thy lagging plough,
As the flock leaves a ewe whose feet are sore:
By noon and midday what will be thy plight
If now, so soon, thy coulter fails to bite?

BATTUS.
Hewn from hard rocks, untired at set of sun,
Milo, didst ne'er regret some absent one?

MILO.
Not I. What time have workers for regret?

BATTUS.
Hath love ne'er kept thee from thy slumbers yet?

MILO.
Nay, heaven forbid! If once the cat taste cream!

BATTUS.
Milo, these ten days love hath been my dream.

MILO.
You drain your wine, while vinegar's scarce with me.

BATTUS.
-Hence since last spring untrimmed my borders be.

MILO.
And what lass flouts thee?

BATTUS.
She whom we heard play
Amongst Hippocoon's reapers yesterday.

MILO.
Your sins have found you out-you're e'en served right:
You'll clasp a corn-crake in your arms all night.

BATTUS.
You laugh: but headstrong Love is blind no less
Than Plutus: talking big is foolishness.

MILO.
I don't talk big. But lay the corn-ears low
And sing the while some love-song-easier so
Will seem your toil: you used to sing, I know.

[...] Read more

poem by Theocritus
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Change Your Deodorant, Oh God!

Change my heart O God
Make it ever true
Change my heart O God
May I be like you

Change my heart O God
Make it ever true
Change my heart O God
May I be like you

You are the potter and I am the clay
Mold me and make me
This is what I pray

Change my heart O God
Make it ever true
Change my heart O God
May I be like you

You are the potter and I am the clay
Mold me and make me
This is what I pray

Change my heart O God
Make it ever true
Change my heart O God
May I be like you

Change my heart O God
Make it ever true
Change my heart O God
May I be like you

1982 Eddie Espinosa Mercy Publishing

My rewrite of the song above, Change My Heart O God, by Eddie Espinosa

Change your deodorant, oh God!
'Cause you stink to high heaven
Oh baby, you know that it's true
You just gotta
Gotta change your deodorant, oh God!
'Cause I really really can't stand anymore
The rotting stench of you

Change your deodorant, oh God!
'Cause you stink to high heaven
Oh baby, you know that it's true
You just gotta
Gotta change your deodorant, oh God!

[...] Read more

poem by Ramona Thompson
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Evangeline: A Tale of Acadie

This is the forest primeval. The murmuring pines and the hemlocks,
Bearded with moss, and in garments green, indistinct in the twilight,
Stand like Druids of eld, with voices sad and prophetic,
Stand like harpers hoar, with beards that rest on their bosoms.
Loud from its rocky caverns, the deep-voiced neighboring ocean
Speaks, and in accents disconsolate answers the wail of the forest.

This is the forest primeval; but where are the hearts that beneath it
Leaped like the roe, when he hears in the woodland the voice of the huntsman
Where is the thatch-roofed village, the home of Acadian farmers,--
Men whose lives glided on like rivers that water the woodlands,
Darkened by shadows of earth, but reflecting an image of heaven?
Waste are those pleasant farms, and the farmers forever departed!
Scattered like dust and leaves, when the mighty blasts of October
Seize them, and whirl them aloft, and sprinkle them far o'er the ocean
Naught but tradition remains of the beautiful village of Grand-Pre.

Ye who believe in affection that hopes, and endures, and is patient,
Ye who believe in the beauty and strength of woman's devotion,
List to the mournful tradition still sung by the pines of the forest;
List to a Tale of Love in Acadie, home of the happy.

PART THE FIRST

I

In the Acadian land, on the shores of the Basin of Minas,
Distant, secluded, still, the little village of Grand-Pre
Lay in the fruitful valley. Vast meadows stretched to the eastward,
Giving the village its name, and pasture to flocks without number.
Dikes, that the hands of the farmers had raised with labor incessant,
Shut out the turbulent tides; but at stated seasons the flood-gates
Opened, and welcomed the sea to wander at will o'er the meadows.
West and south there were fields of flax, and orchards and cornfields
Spreading afar and unfenced o'er the plain; and away to the northward
Blomidon rose, and the forests old, and aloft on the mountains
Sea-fogs pitched their tents, and mists from the mighty Atlantic
Looked on the happy valley, but ne'er from their station descended
There, in the midst of its farms, reposed the Acadian village.
Strongly built were the houses, with frames of oak and of hemlock,
Such as the peasants of Normandy built in the reign of the Henries.
Thatched were the roofs, with dormer-windows; and gables projecting
Over the basement below protected and shaded the doorway.
There in the tranquil evenings of summer, when brightly the sunset
Lighted the village street and gilded the vanes on the chimneys,
Matrons and maidens sat in snow-white caps and in kirtles
Scarlet and blue and green, with distaffs spinning the golden
Flax for the gossiping looms, whose noisy shuttles within doors

[...] Read more

poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
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Ahh, Let's Get Ill

I'm the Ladies Love, legend in leather
Long and lean, and I don't wear pleather
Last of the red hot lovin MC's
Lookin for a little, that's my theory
It goes quick like lightning, too exciting
Lover of ladies, don't allow biting
Level-headed leader, toy boy feeder
Good love life and a rhyme biter beater
Looking, learning, the one you're liking
Listen and you will love what I'm writing
Ladies love, long, hard and lean
And now you know what L.L. means
[ girls ] Aaaahhhhhhhh!
[ guys ] Let's get ill!
Come on now
[ girls ] Aaaahhhhhhhh!
[ guys ] Let's get ill!
Everybody
[ girls ] Aaaahhhhhhhh!
[ guys ] Let's get ill!
Everybody
[ girls ] Aaaahhhhhhhh!
[ guys ] Let's get ill!
Lightning in the sky, L.L. don't lie
I can hold a larger load than those other little guys
My literature is the land's highest law
The man of the brand, one you look out for
I'm loose like the lace in your brand new sneaker
Release the bass in your face like a large Vega speaker
Li-li-lis-listen to my rhyme
Here to satisfy the listeners who stood on line
Bought tickets to see me kick it and wasn't late
The love every little bit of the cuts he creates
First not last, leader of the class, see
From London, Long Beach, and down to Tallahassee
Ladies are pleased, I'm not wearin Lee's
The Kangol is mine, the godfather is E
I bust your lip, my level won't slip
Clockin crazy dollars on the L.L. tip
Come on!
[ girls ] Aaaahhhhhhhh!
[ guys ] Let's get ill!
Come on
[ girls ] Aaaahhhhhhhh!
[ guys ] Let's get ill!
Everybody
[ girls ] Aaaahhhhhhhh!
[ guys ] Let's get ill!
Everybody
[ girls ] Aaaahhhhhhhh!

[...] Read more

song performed by LL Cool J
Added by Lucian Velea
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Acid Bomb

Yeah
Move on up
Were going to the wild wild side
Ready
Hey you bomb bomb
Hey you bomb bomb
Hey you bomb bomb
Acid acid bomb (4 times)
Yeah
Move on up
Were going to the wild side
Yeah
Move on up
Were going to the wild side
Yeah
Move on up
Move on up
Move on
Going to the
Yeah
Move on up
Move on up
Move on
Wild side
Yeah
Move on up
Move on up
Move on
Going to the
Yeah
Move on up
Move on
Going to the wild side
Yeah
Move on up
Were going to the wild side
Yeah
Move on up
Were going to the wild side
Yeah
Move on up
Move on up
Move on
Going to the
Yeah
Move on up
Move on up
Move on
Wild side
Yeah

[...] Read more

song performed by Scooter
Added by Lucian Velea
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You Move Me

I like my coffee in the mornin,
Crazy bout my tea at night.
I like my coffee in the mornin,
Crazy bout my tea at night.
If I dont get my sugar three times a day,
Boy, you know I dont feel right.
Well, I know my hound dog
When I hear him bark.
Well, I know my hound dog
When I hear him bark.
And I know my baby when I feel her
In the dark.
Ya move me,
Ya move me, ya move me, ya move me baby.
Ow!
Ya move me,
Ya move me, ya move me, ya move me baby.
Ya move me,
Ya move me, ya move me, ya move me baby.
Ya move me,
Ya move me, ya move me, ya move me baby.
Well, Im here
And Im ready and able to move.
Every thing that I need,
Ya know Im ready to groove,
Even though Im tired,
Im weary and wasted and worn.
Well, I just cant seem,
I cant seem to leave you alone.
Know why?
Ya move me,
Ya move me, ya move me, ya move me baby.
Ow!
Ya move me,
Ya move me, ya move me, ya move me baby.
Ya move me,
Ya move me, ya move me, ya move me baby.
Ya move me,
Ya move me, ya move me, ya move me baby.
[break it down boy.]
Well, Im a secretive guy,
Ya know I like to keep things hid.
Well, Im a secretive guy,
Ya know I like to keep things hid.
Well, I love you baby
When ya call me the jellyroll kid.
Ow!
Ya move me,
Ya move me, ya move me, ya move me baby.
Ow!

[...] Read more

song performed by Van Morrison
Added by Lucian Velea
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Light Is Faster Than Sound

Sound ...
Light is faster than sound
My head to the ground
Mind going round
Faster than sound.
What goes up must come down
World goes around
Sun shines at ground
Faster than sound.
Yeah yeah, faster than sound, yeah
Faster than sound, whoa yeah
Faster than sound, ah ah
'cause life is faster than sound.
Faster than sound.
It's your face yes it is,
It's your face yes it is,
I see your face, yeah
I see your face, yeah
I see your face, yeah faster than sound, yeah
I see your face, yeah faster than sound, alright c'mon c'mon
Oh yeah faster than sound, yeah
Oh oh faster than sound, ah ha
I see your face faster than sound, yeah
I see your face faster than sound, yeah
Oh yeah faster than sound
Oh yeah faster than sound
Oh yeah faster than sound, hey
Faster than sound.
Light is faster than sound
My head to the ground
Mind going round
Faster than sound.
What goes up must come down
World goes around
Sun shines around
Faster than sound.
Whoa!
Faster than sound, yeah
Faster than sound
Alright, alright, alright
Faster than sound
Yeah,
Faster than sound
Faster than sound
Faster than sound, yeah yeah!
Faster than sound, yeah yeah!
Faster than sound!
It's so fast, yes it is
It's so fast, yes it is
Hey, hey

[...] Read more

song performed by Janis Joplin
Added by Lucian Velea
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Think Visual

Productivity is getting higher and higher oh, oh, yeh
But profitability is getting tighter and tighter oh, oh, yeh
When you see our face in the market place we gotta clean cut image to keep
(the competition is getting tighter and tighter)
We gotta advertise, we gotta merchandise, ooh, oh, yeh
Flash those teeth
Competitions on the rise
Open those eyes better get computerised
Think visual, think visual, think visual
Think visual, think visual, show your personality
Marketing says we gotta merchandise
But economy says we gotta minimise huh -
We gotta budget to face and the marketplace is full of competition, competition
Think digital, synthisise, computerise, think visual
Productivity, marketability, higher and higher
Flash those teeth, open those eyes
Think visual, think visual
Flash those teeth, competitions on the rise
Open those eyes, better get computerised
Think visual, think visual, think visual
Think visual, think visual, push the button and see
Marketing say we gotta goal to chase
But economy says we gotta budget to face
Get your attitude straight, cos its all in your mind
And its never too late to get a new design
And if you wanna compete you gotta visualise
Flash those teeth, come on open those eyes
Think visual

song performed by Kinks
Added by Lucian Velea
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The Head Of Bran The Blest

I

When the Head of Bran
Was firm on British shoulders,
God made a man!
Cried all beholders.

Steel could not resist
The weight his arm would rattle;
He, with naked fist,
Has brain'd a knight in battle.

He marched on the foe,
And never counted numbers;
Foreign widows know
The hosts he sent to slumbers.

As a street you scan,
That's towered by the steeple,
So the Head of Bran
Rose o'er his people.

II

'Death's my neighbour,'
Quoth Bran the Blest;
'Christian labour
Brings Christian rest.
From the trunk sever
The Head of Bran,
That which never
Has bent to man!
'That which never
To men has bowed
Shall live ever
To shame the shroud:
Shall live ever
To face the foe;
Sever it, sever,
And with one blow.

'Be it written,
That all I wrought
Was for Britain,
In deed and thought:
Be it written,
That while I die,
Glory to Britain!
Is my last cry.

[...] Read more

poem by George Meredith
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The Court Of Love

With timerous hert and trembling hand of drede,
Of cunning naked, bare of eloquence,
Unto the flour of port in womanhede
I write, as he that non intelligence
Of metres hath, ne floures of sentence;
Sauf that me list my writing to convey,
In that I can to please her hygh nobley.

The blosmes fresshe of Tullius garden soote
Present thaim not, my mater for to borne:
Poemes of Virgil taken here no rote,
Ne crafte of Galfrid may not here sojorne:
Why nam I cunning? O well may I morne,
For lak of science that I can-not write
Unto the princes of my life a-right

No termes digne unto her excellence,
So is she sprong of noble stirpe and high:
A world of honour and of reverence
There is in her, this wil I testifie.
Calliope, thou sister wise and sly,
And thou, Minerva, guyde me with thy grace,
That langage rude my mater not deface.

Thy suger-dropes swete of Elicon
Distill in me, thou gentle Muse, I pray;
And thee, Melpomene, I calle anon,
Of ignoraunce the mist to chace away;
And give me grace so for to write and sey,
That she, my lady, of her worthinesse,
Accepte in gree this litel short tretesse,

That is entitled thus, 'The Court of Love.'
And ye that ben metriciens me excuse,
I you besech, for Venus sake above;
For what I mene in this ye need not muse:
And if so be my lady it refuse
For lak of ornat speche, I wold be wo,
That I presume to her to writen so.

But myn entent and all my besy cure
Is for to write this tretesse, as I can,
Unto my lady, stable, true, and sure,
Feithfull and kind, sith first that she began
Me to accept in service as her man:

[...] Read more

poem by Anonymous Olde English
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The Legend Of St. Sophia Of Kioff

I.

[The Poet describes the city and spelling of Kiow, Kioff, or Kiova.]

A thousand years ago, or more,
A city filled with burghers stout,
And girt with ramparts round about,
Stood on the rocky Dnieper shore.
In armor bright, by day and night,
The sentries they paced to and fro.
Well guarded and walled was this town, and called
By different names, I'd have you to know;
For if you looks in the g'ography books,
In those dictionaries the name it varies,
And they write it off Kieff or Kioff, Kiova or Kiow.

II.

[Its buildings, public works, and ordinances, religious and civil.]

Thus guarded without by wall and redoubt,
Kiova within was a place of renown,
With more advantages than in those dark ages
Were commonly known to belong to a town.
There were places and squares, and each year four fairs,
And regular aldermen and regular lord-mayors;
And streets, and alleys, and a bishop's palace;
And a church with clocks for the orthodox—
With clocks and with spires, as religion desires;
And beadles to whip the bad little boys
Over their poor little corduroys,
In service-time, when they DIDN'T make a noise;
And a chapter and dean, and a cathedral-green
With ancient trees, underneath whose shades
Wandered nice young nursery-maids.

[The poet shows how a certain priest dwelt at Kioff, a godly
clergyman, and one that preached rare good sermons.]

Ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-ding-a-ring-ding,
The bells they made a merry merry ring,
From the tall tall steeple; and all the people
(Except the Jews) came and filled the pews—
Poles, Russians and Germans,
To hear the sermons
Which HYACINTH preached godly to those Germans and Poles,
For the safety of their souls.

[...] Read more

poem by William Makepeace Thackeray
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The Statue Got Me High

The statue got me high
The statue got me high
The monument of granite sent a beam into my eye
The statue made me die
The statue made me die
It took my hand it killed me and it turned me to the sky
The stone it called to me
(and now I see the things the stone has shown to me)
A rock that spoke a word
(an animated mineral it can be heard)
And though I once preferred a human beings company
They pale before the monolith that towers over me
The statue got me high
The statue got me high
The truth is where the sculptors chisel chipped away the lie
The statue made me fry
The statue made me fry
My coat contained a furnace where there used to be a guy
The stone it called to me
(and now I see the things the stone has shown to me)
A rock that spoke a word
(an animated mineral it can be heard)
And as the screaming fire engine siren filled the air
The evidence had vanished from my charred and smoking chair
And what they found was just a statue
Standing where the statue got me high
And what they found was just a statue
Standing where the statue got me high
And now it is your turn
(your turn to hear the stone and then your turn to burn)
The stone it calls to you
(you cant refuse to do the things it tells you to)
And as the screaming fire engine siren fills the air
The evidence will vanish from your charred and smoking chair
And what they found was just a statue
Standing where the statue got me high
And what theyll find is just a statue
Standing where the statue got you high

song performed by They Might Be Giants
Added by Lucian Velea
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Dead Guy Stickers

In the USA,
They want to put dead guy pictures on cigarette packs.
With that brilliant logic in mind, I say put dead guy stickers on:
car windshields(dead guys in wrecks)
pistol and rifle handles (dead guys shot)
marriage licenses (dead spouses)
hamburger and hot dog wrappers (dead fat guys)
pies, cakes (more dead fat guys)
bathroom doors (thousands of dead guys in bathrooms every year)
bicycles (road kill dead guys)
fire places (burnt dead guys)
swimming pools (drown dead guys)
every electrical outlet (fried dead guys)
air plane tickets (dead passenger guys)
the beach (shark bit dead guys)
cities (shot dead guys)
air (blue dead guys)
fish (poisoned dead guys)
motorcycles (more road kill dead guys)
scarfs (strangled dead guys)
football helmets (brain dead guys)
hot tubs (more drowned dead guys)
and so on.
Just about everything can kill you, such as:
Mothers (dead baby guys plus dead fathers)
Fathers (dead baby guys plus dead mothers)
Police(multiple dead guys and chicks)
Drugs (multiple dead guys and chicks)
and so on.
Once everything has a dead guy sticker on it,
You've been warned and the world will be safer, right?
It shows we care, right?

poem by Richard Jarboe
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