Ex-Patria
The beginning of the end of our Canadian winter;
The ending of a British winter,
And their gentle spring ahead of ours.
I always think about these overlapping seasons,
In the forty-four years I have lived in Québec.
Yes, Québec and all its solitudes:
I, too, felt solitary within the class system
in the England I had left behind.
I was twenty-two when I turned my back on it;
I simply left it all behind, vowing I'd forget everything
But the friends whom I loved.
I left behind familial ties,
Home-grown attitudes,
And closed minds;
I felt relief, like discarding
A heavy winter overcoat In spring.
I packed my old school trunk -
It carried the label of my new address -
MONTRÉAL
As I had no residence yet.
So I set off to a country
I knew nothing about,
A country that patriots
Alluded to with derision
As my 'Going to the Colonies'.
Said with such contempt.
Nevertheless, on a damp November day
I boarded the 'Empress of Canada'
Steaming from the docks at Liverpool.
The gusty gales tossed its mightiness
Into a mere toy ship bobbing on the crest
Of each tempestuous wave.
Lurching starboard, then aft, then port,
In the turgid, cold Atlantic cod-infested waters.
I left with absolutely no regrets,
Without a single pang of conscience.
I left behind the injustice and humiliation
Of my turbulent teenage years spent
Incarcerated in a convent boarding school
Run by horrible nuns - but not entirely,
For the dreadful feelings lingered
And haunted me like ghosts.
When I left,
I didn't know anything about
'That' and 'This-ness',
Only that I was happy to go.
My friends were excited for me
[...] Read more
poem by Philippa Lane
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