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9 #9 Do Dare Explain?

It's been a long day
Fitting a week in one day
Enough to fade you
Knees buckling over themselves
Earning a few more gray hairs

The shadow's no lie
Just watching something like that
Enough to spook you
Inexplicable, crazy
Just why would he volunteer?

Do I dare explain?
Is it worth concerning her?
…Worries as it is
She may have difficulty
And wouldn't leave me alone

Too old for this s**t
I'll soon be a Grandfather
Retirement calls
A chance to forget all this
And do what I want to do

I expect flashbacks
Maybe when I am sleeping
Or mowing the lawn
I will remember the war -
All of those I helped to gas

I'll see their faces
As I am eating breakfast
Or when I'm shaving
I'm looking in the mirror
I'll see a thousand clearly

What will Hell be like?
I understand it's different
Each person's design
Tailor-made for their own sins

Think of Caiphas
You have to step on his pr***
Nailed to his own cross
Resting on the floor of Hell
Surely I'm not that bad

Just followed orders
It is not my f**king fault
No consolation

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