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5. Rotten Perks

A porkpie and a pickled egg
Left in a buffet car
The porkpie was in plastic wrap
Whilst egg was in a jar

They’d travelled down from London
Today they’d been in York
The egg had drank its vinegar
And pie was lacking pork

Egg nearly sold last Monday
But a diner said it stunk
The waiter threw it back in jar
Where it got a little drunk

Porkpie sat in sunshine
Soaked up the nice hot rays
As furry green things ate his crust
For more than last ten days

Until at last the driver said
Send snack for that’s my perk
He ate the pie and pickled egg
Then took ten weeks off work

poem by David Threadgold (2008)
Added by Poetry Lover
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New York City

Standing on the corner, just me and yoko ono,
We was waiting for jerry to land.
Up come a man with a guitar in his hand,
Singing, have a marijuana, if you can.
His name was david peel and we found that he was real,
He sang, the pope smokes dope evryday.
Up come a policeman, shoved us of the street,
Singing, power to the people today.
New york city!
New york city!
New york city!
Que pasa, new york?
Que pasa, new york?
Hey! hey!
Well, down to maxs, kansas city, got down the nitty gritty
With the elephants memory band.
Laid something down as the news spread around
About the plastic ono elephants memory band.
Well, we played some funky boogie, and laid some tutti fritti,
Singing, long tall sallys a man.
Up come a preacher man, tryin to be a teacher,
Singing, gods a red herring in drag!
New york city!
New york city!
New york city!
Que pasa, new york?
Que pasa, new york?
Ha! ha!
Hey! hey! hey! hey!
Hey!
Oh yeah!
Hey! new york city!
Alright, new york city!
New york city!
Que pasa, new york?
Que pasa, new york?
Hey! hey!
Well, we did the staten island ferry, making movies for the telly,
Played the fillmore and apollo for freedom.
Tried to shake our image, just a-cycling through the village,
But we found that we had left it back in london.
Well, nobody came to bug us, hustle us or shove us,
We decided to make it our home.
If the man wants to shove us out, we gonna jump and shout,
The statue of liberty said, come!
New york city!
New york city!
New york city!
Que pasa, new york?
Que pasa, new york?

[...] Read more

song performed by Yoko Ono
Added by Lucian Velea
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New York City

Standing on the corner, just me and yoko ono,
We was waiting for jerry to land.
Up come a man with a guitar in his hand,
Singing, have a marijuana, if you can.
His name was david peel and we found that he was real,
He sang, the pope smokes dope evryday.
Up come a policeman, shoved us of the street,
Singing, power to the people today.
New york city!
New york city!
New york city!
Que pasa, new york?
Que pasa, new york?
Hey! hey!
Well, down to maxs, kansas city, got down the nitty gritty
With the elephants memory band.
Laid something down as the news spread around
About the plastic ono elephants memory band.
Well, we played some funky boogie, and laid some tutti fritti,
Singing, long tall sallys a man.
Up come a preacher man, tryin to be a teacher,
Singing, gods a red herring in drag!
New york city!
New york city!
New york city!
Que pasa, new york?
Que pasa, new york?
Ha! ha!
Hey! hey! hey! hey!
Hey!
Oh yeah!
Hey! new york city!
Alright, new york city!
New york city!
Que pasa, new york?
Que pasa, new york?
Hey! hey!
Well, we did the staten island ferry, making movies for the telly,
Played the fillmore and apollo for freedom.
Tried to shake our image, just a-cycling through the village,
But we found that we had left it back in london.
Well, nobody came to bug us, hustle us or shove us,
We decided to make it our home.
If the man wants to shove us out, we gonna jump and shout,
The statue of liberty said, come!
New york city!
New york city!
New york city!
Que pasa, new york?
Que pasa, new york?

[...] Read more

song performed by Yoko Ono
Added by Lucian Velea
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Monday Monday

Bah da bah da da da
Bah da bah da da da
Bah da bah da da da

Monday Monday so good to me
Monday mornin' it was all I hoped it would be
Oh Monday mornin' Monday mornin' couldn't guarantee
That Monday evenin' you would still be here with me
Monday Monday can't trust that day
Monday Monday sometimes it just turns out that way
Oh Monday mornin' you gave me no warnin' of what was to be
Oh Monday Monday how could you leave and not take me
Every other day every other day
Every other day of the week is fine yeah
But whenever Monday comes but whenever Monday comes
A you can find me cryin' all of the time
Monday Monday so good to me
Monday mornin' it was all I hoped it would be
But Monday mornin' Monday mornin' couldn't guarantee
That Monday evenin' you would still be here with me
Every other day every other day
Every other day of the week is fine yeah
But whenever Monday comes but whenever Monday comes
A you can find me cryin' all of the time
Monday Monday can't trust that day
Monday Monday it just turns out that way
Oh Monday Monday won't go away
Monday Monday it's here to stay
Oh Monday Monday
Oh Monday Monday

song performed by Hear'Say from Popstars
Added by Lucian Velea
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Monday Monday

Monday, Monday
So good to me.
Monday, Monday
It was all I hoped it would be.
Oh Monday morning
Monday morning couldn't guarantee
That Monday evening
You would still be here with me.
Monday, Monday
Can't trust that day.
Monday, Monday
Sometimes it just turns out that way.
On Monday morning
You gave me no warning
Of what was to be.
On Monday, Monday
How could you leave
And not take me?
Every other day
Every other day
Every other day
Of the week is fine, yeah.
But whenever Monday comes
But whenever Monday comes
You can find me crying
All of the time.
Monday, Monday
So good to me.
Monday, Monday
It was all I hoped it would be.
Oh Monday morning,
Monday morning couldn't guarantee
That Monday evening
You would still be here with me.
Every other day
Every other day
Every other day
Of the week is fine, yeah.
But whenever Monday comes
But whenever Monday comes
You can find me crying
All of the time.
Monday, Monday,
Can't trust that day.
Monday, Monday,
Just turns out that way.
Oh, Monday, Monday,
Don't go away.
Oh, Monday, Monday
It's here to stay

[...] Read more

song performed by Wilson Phillips
Added by Lucian Velea
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Plastic Man

A man lives at the corner of the street,
And his neighbors think hes helpful and hes sweet,
cause he never swears and he always shakes you by the hand,
But no one knows he really is a plastic man.
Hes got plastic heart, plastic teeth and toes,
(yeah, hes plastic man)
Hes got plastic knees and a perfect plastic nose.
(yeah, hes plastic man)
Hes got plastic lips that hide his plastic teeth and gums,
And plastic legs that reach up to his plastic bum.
(plastic bum)
Plastic man got no brain,
Plastic man dont feel no pain,
Plastic people look the same,
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kick his shin or tread on his face,
Pull his nose all over the place,
He cant disfigure, or disgrace,
Plastic man (plastic man).
Hes got plastic flowers growing up the walls,
He eats plastic food with a plastic knife and fork,
He likes plastic cups and saucers cause they never break,
And he likes to lick his gravy off a plastic plate.
Plastic man got no brain,
Plastic man dont feel no pain,
Plastic people look the same,
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kick his shin or tread on his face,
Pull his nose all over the place,
He cant disfigure, or disgrace,
Plastic man (plastic man).
Hes got a plastic wife who wears a plastic mac,
(yeah, hes plastic man)
And his children wanna be plastic like their dad,
(yeah, hes plastic man)
Hes got a phony smile that makes you think he understands,
But no one ever gets the truth from plastic man (plastic man)
Plastic man (plastic man).

song performed by Kinks
Added by Lucian Velea
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Trash Bag

1 bag cement mold
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360121 bat bag
$1 tea bag holder
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2005 jackie o gucci hand bag
1 bag cement mixers
1920s clutch bag
1.5 oz bag reg chips
1 bag popcorn serving size
2000 saturn sl air bag light
11 gallon garbage bags
306 leather tour sissy bag

[...] Read more

poem by Rwetewrt Erwtwer
Added by Poetry Lover
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Battle Song

There's havoc on the staircase where the guests come streaming,
Shirt-fronts shining and tiaras gleaming,
Frail folk shuddering and stout folk steaming --
Steaming in the heat of the fray.
Midnight striking and the strife appalling,
Strong men staggering and weak men falling,
And deep in the heart of me a still voice calling:
'Make for the buffet while you may.

'Make for the buffet while you may, poor stranger,
Make for the buffet while you can;
There's hope for the stale there, strength for the frail there,
Drink for the thirsty man.
Thrust through the throng! Be obstreperous and strong!
Fight till your strength is sped.
Fight and prevail; do not falter, do not fail,
Make for the buffet and be fed!

'Make for the buffet and be fed, poor stranger,
Make for the buffet and be strong;
Dense is the press and the air is growing less,
Fierce is the fight and long.
Fierce is the fight and oppressive is the night,
Stern is the strife and fell;
Pale is your cheek; you are wan and you are weak;
Make for the buffet and be well!'

Painfully and wearily the hours are dragging,
Old men are falling now and young men flagging;
White ties weakening and stiff shirts sagging --
Sagging as the hours go by.
Consciousness is failing me and outlines merging,
Thunder in my ears as of sea-foam surging,
And deep in the heart of me a faint voice urging:
'Make for the buffet lest you die.

'Make for the buffet lest you die, poor stranger;
Make for the buffet while you can;
Fight your way through like a woman in a queue,
Fight like a jungle-man!
Batter the élite with your hands and your feet,
Butt them in the backs with your head:
Strike for your own! You are hungry and alone;
Make for the buffet and be fed.

'Make for the buffet and be fed, poor stranger,
Make for the buffet lest you die.
There's hope for stale there, strength for the frail there,
Drink for the throat that's dry.
Courage and strength will rewarded be at length;

[...] Read more

poem by Patrick Barrington
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Fitration Bags

2.5 gallon shopvac bags
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1998 saturn sl2 air bag module
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2003 bozo desktop bop bag
135 approved electronic flight bag
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2006 bag gucci spring
3 insulated sleeping bags
4in bag ice one
2008 street bob hard bags
45 micron bag
250 ninja nelson-rigg saddle bag
24 wheeled garment bag
1996 lincoln continental air bag suspension
2006 aka boule bag
400d horn bag

[...] Read more

poem by Rwetewrt Erwtwer
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New York Times

New york poor new york
New york poor new york
Cars choking your child to death
But you dont wanna see
Cause you only think about yourself
How blind can you be
New york poor new york
Sniper on the rooftop new york
New york poor new york
Not fit for a dog in new york
Everybody bites on the big apple
Leave the hungry in tears
But no one gives a damn no one really cares
How they feel theyre just paper people not real
You need a gun to walk into new york
Now youre broke and youre out on a ledge
Who can help you this time
Now youre down to your very last cent
Still youre askin me who was your friend
I was your friend
New york poor new york
Who turned the lights out in new york
New york poor new york
Just another blackout in new york
Girl dead on the 26th floor
But no one knew her name
Found her body behind the door
Too young for the game
New york poor new york
Devils in the subway new york
New york poor new york
New york poor new york
Talkin talkin talkin - watch out
Harlem touching midtown new york
New york poor new york
Talkin bout new york new york
Moneys getting tighter new york
Theyre burning the bridges to new york

song performed by Cat Stevens
Added by Lucian Velea
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New York City

Standing on the corner
Just me and yoko ono
We was waiting for jerry to land
Up come a man with a guitar in his hand
Singing, have a marijuana if you can
His name was david peel
And we found that he was real
He sang, the pope smokes dope every day
Up come a policeman shoved us up the street
Singing, power to the people today!
New york city...new york city...new york city
Que pasa, new york?
Que pasa, new york?
Well down to maxs kansas city
Got down the nitty gritty
With the elephants memory band
Laid something down
As the news spread around
About the plastic ono elephants memory band!
And we played some funky boogie
And laid some tutti frutti
Singing, long tall sallys a man.
Up come a preacherman trying to be a teacher
Singing, gods a red herring in drag!
New york city...new york city...new york city
Que pasa, new york?
Que pasa, new york?
New york city...new york city...new york city
Que pasa, new york?
Que pasa, new york?
Well we did the staten island ferry
Making movies for the telly
Played the fillmore and apollo for freedom
Tried to shake our image
Just a cycling through the village
But found that we had left it back in london
Well nobody came to bug us
Hustle us or shove us
So we decided to make it our home
If the man wants to shove us out
We gonna jump and shout
The statue of liberty said, come!
New york city...new york city...new york city
Que pasa, new york?
Que pasa, new york?
New york city...back in new york city...new york city
Que pasa, new york?
Que pasa, new york?

song performed by Lennon John
Added by Lucian Velea
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London Song

Theres a room in a house in a street in a manor in a borough
Thats part of a city that is generally referred to as london
Its a dark place, a mysterious place
And it is said that if youre born within the sound of bow-bells
You have the necessary qualifications to be christened a londoner
[its a cruel place, its a hard place]
But when you think back to all the great londoners
William blake, charles dickens, dick whittington,
Pearly kings, barrow boys, arthur daley, max wall
And dont forget the kray twins
But if youre ever up on highgate hill on a clear day
You can see right down to leicester square [london, london]
Crystal palace, clapham common, right down to streatham hill
North and south, I feel that Im a londoner still [london, london]
Chiswick bridge to newham and east ham
Churchbells ring out through the land
You were born in london, england
[london, london, through the dark alley-ways and passages of london]
And theres a tap by a reservoir, leading to a stream,
That turns into a river estuary that eventually opens to the sea
[london, london]
And theres a docker by a wharf, sending cargo overseas,
Unloading foreign trade from a large ocean vessel
In the mighty metropolitan port of london
[london, london, through the dark alley-ways and passages of london]
When I think of all the londoners still unsung
East-enders, west-enders, oriental-enders
Fu manchu, sherlock holmes, jack spock, henry cooper,
Thomas abecket, thomas moore, and dont forget the kray twins
Theres a part of me that says get out
Then one day Ill hear somebody shout
Sounds to me like you come from london town
But if youre ever up on highgate hill on a clear day,
Ill be there [Ill be there]
Yes I will be there [there]
Through the dark alley-ways and passages of london, london
London, london, through the dark alley-ways and passages of london, london
London, london, through the dark alley-ways and passages of london, london

song performed by Kinks
Added by Lucian Velea
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Plastic Passion

Plastic passion is a hard to handle
Plastic passion is a sold out scandal
Oh it's a plastic passion
It's a plastic passion
Plastic passion is the ladies lover
Plastic passion is the marble mother
Oh it's a plastic passion
It's a plastic passion
Plastic passion is a diamond delight
Plastic passion is the nadir of night
Oh it's a plastic passion
It's a plastic passion
It's a plastic passion
Plastic passion is a hycoscine heart
Plastic passion is a transparent tart
Oh it's a plastic passion
It's a plastic passion
Plastic passion is a gold guarantee
The plastic passion is murdering me
Oh it's a plastic passion
It's a plastic passion
It's a plastic passion

song performed by Cure
Added by Lucian Velea
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Safe In New York City

(young - young)
Hello baby gimme your hand
Check out the high spots the lay of the land
You dont need a rocket or a big limousine
Come on over baby and Ill make you obscene
I feel safe in new york city
I feel safe in new york city
I feel safe in new york city
I feel safe in new york city
All over the city and down to the dives
Dont mess with this place itll eat you alive
Got lip smackin honey to soak up the jam
On top of the world ma ready to slam
I feel safe in new york city
I feel safe in new york city
I feel safe in new york city
I feel safe in new york city
I feel safe in new york city
I feel safe in new york city
I feel safe in new york city
I feel safe in new york city
Movin all over like a jumpin bean
Take a look at that thing in the tight ass jeans
Comin your way now you may be in luck
Dont you fret boy shes ready to buck
I feel safe in new york city
I feel safe in new york city
I feel safe in new york city
I feel safe in new york city
I feel safe in new york city
I feel safe in new york city
I feel safe in new york city
I feel safe in new york city
I feel safe in new york city
I feel safe in new york city
I feel safe in new york city
New york, new york, new york
I feel safe in a cage in new york city
2000, j. albert & son, pty.

song performed by AC-DC
Added by Lucian Velea
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Come Monday

In 3B it's Diane
And she's makin' a plan
She says
I'm gonna change my hair
It just don't fit my face anymore
I'm gettin' out of here
I just don't like this place anymore
Tired of all the stallin'
This time it's for good
Come monday
Come monday
My life starts again
My new point of view is beginning
Come monday
That one day
My ship's comin' in
And this time I'm ready to roll!
Come monday
Come monday
Now here's Ken in 5N
And he swears once again
He says
I'm gonna lose the weight
Gonna get in to my clothes again
I'm gonna graduate
I'm gonna be the one who knows again
No more lame excuses
Then it's understood!
Come monday
Come monday
My life starts again
My new point of view is beginning
Come monday
That one day
My ship's comin' in
And this time I'm ready to roll!
Come monday
Come monday
Come monday
Come this monday
Hey Bob, I'm changin' my job!
Hey men, I'm making a plan!
Yeah slim,I'm joinin a gym!
And this time I'm ready to roll!
Come monday
Come monday
My life starts again
My new point of view is beginning
Come monday
That one day

[...] Read more

song performed by Barry Manilow
Added by Lucian Velea
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Monday Papers

I dont want to go out any more
I read the news, I cant believe my eyes
I push the table against the door
You know Ive had it with the world outside
If you want to know about the murderers and junkies
If you want to know about the lower east side
Now they got a map shows you where to get your monkey
You can read it in the monday papers, monday papers
Some people like a little gore
Some people always at the scenes of crimes
Now they can watch the tv more
Now they can get it in the sunday times
If you find it hard to handle what you see on page one
You can pull the funnies out and have some laughs
Take a drink and maybe you can laugh at ronald reagan
You can read it in the monday papers, read it in the monday papers
Monday papers dont ask no questions
Monday papers dont get no lies
Monday papers dont raise objection
Monday papers dont got no eyes
Brothers heading that way now I guess
He just read something made his face turn blue
Well I got nothing against the press
They wouldnt print it if it wasnt true
If you want to know about the gay politician
If you want to know how to be a star
Ladies - if you want to know about the new sex position
You can read it in the monday papers, read it in the monday papers
Monday papers dont ask no questions
Monday papers dont get no lies
Monday papers dont raise objection
Monday papers dont got no eyes
Monday papers dont ask no questions
Monday papers dont get no lies
Monday papers dont raise objection
Monday papers dont got no eyes
Read all about it, monday papers

song performed by Joe Jackson
Added by Lucian Velea
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I Sold My Heart To The Junkman

Intro to: I sold my heart to the junkman
...this is a very sad song, this next song were gonna do.
The song is so sad that sometimes I have to leave the stage and
Cry in the backstage a little bit while Im singing this song. the reason
This song is so sad because this story happened to me just a little
While ago (not true, but true) (audience laughs) and it was, it was
A thing where I met this this beautiful girl, right? was she a
Beautiful girl as she was, she was nice and ... and I gave her my whole
Heart, every every bit, and she gave it back to me a month later all
Beat up, so bad and so terrible looking that
I sold my heart to the junkman !
Now I can never fall in love again....
(starts song)
...song, this is a very sad song, this next
Song were gonna do.
The song is so sad that sometimes I have to
Leave the stage and cry in the backstage a
Little bit while Im singing this song.
The reason this song is so sad because this
Story happened to me just a little while ago
(not true, but true) (audience laughs)
And it was, it was a thing where I met this
This beautiful girl, right? was she a
Beautiful girl as she was, she was nice and ...
And I gave her my whole heart, every every bit,
And she gave it back to me a month later all
Beat up, so bad and
So terrible looking that
I sold my heart to the junkman !
Now I can never fall in love again....
Well I gave my heart to you, open, so open and trusting
And you gave it back to me, it was broken up and busting
(sold my heart) I sold my heart to the junkman
(sold my heart) I sold my heart to the junkman
I can never fall in love again
Oh and I know you took my heart, you thought that you
Could use it
When you gave it back like a toy
You broken and bruised
(sold my heart) I sold my heart to the junkman
(I sold my heart) I sold my heart to the junkman
I can never fall in love again
Now, it was a movie sad scene, I played my part
Ooh I wanted the happy ending, but all I got was
A broken heart
(all he got was a broken heart)
(I sold my heart) I sold my heart to the junkman(I sold my heart) I sold my
Heart to the junkman
I can never fall in love again
Now I swear it was a movie setting, baby I played my part

[...] Read more

song performed by Bruce Springsteen
Added by Lucian Velea
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Healthy Back Bag

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american sign language tote bags
animated gif people with hand bags
amazing bag grace pipe
altieri bags

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poem by Rwetewrt Erwtwer
Added by Poetry Lover
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Laundromat Monday

Monday
Laundromat monday
Monday
Laundromat monday
I want my mother, someone to cook for me
Each day another, take out no msg
Im gonna change the world, but not today
Think Ill just go get drunk down on avenue a
Monday
Laundromat monday
Monday
Laundromat monday
I want a french maid, someone to wash my jeans
Each quarter Ive made is lost in washing machines
Im gonna change the world, I could be president
If I could just work out where all my mondays went
Monday
Laundromat monday
Monday
Laundromat monday
Monday
Laundromat monday
Monday
Laundromat monday

song performed by Joe Jackson
Added by Lucian Velea
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Pork Roll Egg And Cheese

When you've had your fun, and your work is done,
You must not succumb.
I can feel you breathe. It's like a mega-weedge inside.
Please don't hide.
So mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese, if you please,
On a kaiser bun.
Mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese, if you please,
On a kaiser bun.
When the guava's drained, Eddie Dingle remains.
But we must further ourselves on.
So dynamic is life, staring into the sight's
Not right, but wrong in a good way.
So mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese, if you please,
On a kaiser bun.
Mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese, if you please,
On a kaiser bun.
When you've had your fun, and your work is done,
You must not succumb.
I can feel you breathe. It's like a mega-weedge inside.
Please don't hide.
So mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese, if you please,
On a kaiser bun.
Mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese, if you please,
On a kaiser bun.
Mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese, if you please,
Kaiser bun. Pork roll egg and cheese.

song performed by Ween
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Pork Roll Egg & Cheese

When youve had your fun, and your work is done, you must not
Succumb
I can feel you breathe, its like a mega-weedge inside,
Please dont hide
So mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese
If you please, on a kaiser bun
Mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese
If you please, on a kaiser bun
When the guavas drained, eddie dingle remains
But we must further ourselves on
So dynamic is life, staring into the sights
Not right, but wrong in a good way
So mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese
If you please, on a kaiser bun
Mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese
If you please, on a kaiser bun
When youve had your fun, and your work is done, you must not succumb
I can feel you breathe, its like a mega-weedge inside,
Please dont hide
So mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese
If you please, on a kaiser bun
Mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese
If you please, on a kaiser bun
Mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese
If you please, on a kaiser bun
Kaiser bun
Pork roll egg and cheese
(zzzz... eeezz..
(apluase and cheers)
-thank you!
-... thank you!

song performed by Ween
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!