The Periwinkle Girl
I've often thought that headstrong youths
Of decent education,
Determine all-important truths,
With strange precipitation.
The ever-ready victims they,
Of logical illusions,
And in a self-assertive way
They jump at strange conclusions.
Now take my case: Ere sorrow could
My ample forehead wrinkle,
I had determined that I should
Not care to be a winkle.
"A winkle," I would oft advance
With readiness provoking,
"Can seldom flirt, and never dance,
Or soothe his mind by smoking."
In short, I spurned the shelly joy,
And spoke with strange decision -
Men pointed to me as a boy
Who held them in derision.
But I was young - too young, by far -
Or I had been more wary,
I knew not then that winkles are
The stock-in-trade of MARY.
I had not watched her sunlight blithe
As o'er their shells it dances -
I've seen those winkles almost writhe
Beneath her beaming glances.
Of slighting all the winkly brood
I surely had been chary,
If I had known they formed the food
And stock-in-trade of MARY.
Both high and low and great and small
Fell prostrate at her tootsies,
They all were noblemen, and all
Had balances at COUTTS'S.
Dukes with the lovely maiden dealt,
DUKE BAILEY and DUKE HUMPHY,
Who ate her winkles till they felt
Exceedingly uncomfy.
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poem by William Schwenck Gilbert
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