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Way Down Yonder

The Thingamabobs and the Diddleysquats,
Ate platypus-puke and hot booger-tots.
The Tiddleywinks and the Snickerdoodles,
Had roasted head lice with stink-bug noodles.
They played all day on the purple seesaw...

Then headed on down to the Mardi Gras!

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Booger McNulty and Me

In 1948 Booger McNulty's coal yard stirred
constant gossip among the citizens who lived
in little bungalows on narrow blocks
in my far corner of Chicago.
That was more than 60 years ago,
a time when families took Sunday walks
and went back home in time to hear
Jack Benny on the radio.
A Sunday walk didn't cost a cent,
a price my parents could afford.


When my parents took a Sunday walk,
my sister and I always had to go along,
and every time we'd pass Booger's place,
I'd hear my mother ask my father
what could possibly be on the other side
of Booger's 10-foot fence.
Hoping to avoid a conversation,
my father always said he didn't know
but he believed it couldn't just be coal.


Back then, every kid in the neighborhood
wanted to climb that fence and look around.
But Booger didn't feature visitors.
According to the boy whose keister caught
a chunk of coal from Booger's slingshot,
there was nothing on the other side
except for pigeons and a lot of coal.


In the bungalows surrounding Booger's place,
immigrants from everywhere slept off beer and garlic
when they weren't working, which was pretty often,
according to my mother. My father always worked,
digging graves with the other men,
most of them, like him, from Ireland.
He dug graves because some Bulgarian
broke his nose, after which my mother ruled
no more boxing. He'd been undefeated until then.


I was ten in 1948 and I'd climb Booger's fence
when I was certain he was gone for the night.
Inside the yard I'd climb the piles of coal
until I got tired and then I'd go home
and take a bath before my father saw me.
My mother never let my father see me
cloaked in the soot of Booger's coal

[...] Read more

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Drawing a Purple Blank Verse after Gelett BURGESS Purple Cow

DRAWING A PURPLE BLANK VERSE
Kindly refer to notes

I've never cowed to purple prose
know now I'll never write it,
for anyhow true writer knows
hand stretched finds critics bite it.

I've never wowed, and goodness knows
hacks lack the knack of versing,
won't bow, kowtow to backhand blows,
preferring role reverse_sing.

Ah, yes, I wrote on purple prose,
yet can't regret I penned it,
one far prefers rhyme's timeless flows,
no blush need rush defend it.


10 February 2009
robi03_1856_burg01_0001 PWX_IXX

Parody Gelett BURGESS The Purple Cow

Author notes

For original and variations on a theme see bekiw
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
THE PURPLE COW

I never saw a Purple Cow,
I never hope to see one,
But I can tell you anyhow,
I’d rather see than be one.


Gelett BURGESS 1866_1951
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
CONFESSION

Ah, yes! I wrote the « Purple Cow » -
I’m Sorry, now, I Wrote it,
But I can Tell you Anyhow
I’ll Kill you if you Quote it.

Gelett BURGESS 1866_1951
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
A Perfect Woman

[...] Read more

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U Got Me Bugged

Since you came around
Wigglin under my skin
Ive been lost in the lost n found
Feeling like a helpless pin
U got me bug bug bug bug bugged
Girl I dont know what to do
U got me bug bug bug bug bugged
You fluttered on down
As graceful as can be
Then you stuck in the needle
And sucked my blood
It was the loveage that came over me
U got me bug bug bug bug bugged
I dont know what to do
U got me bug bug bug bug bugged
Im always bugged over you
Now Im hopelessly entangled
In the web of love you dangled
Helpless like a worm watch me twist and squirm
Your love has left me strangled
U got me bug bug bug bug bugged
Girl, I dont know what to do
U got me bug bug bug bug bugged
Girl, Im all bugged out over you
You got me bug bug bug bug
Now Im hopelessly entangled
In the web of love you dangled
Should have trusted sick fear
Now you stepped out on my tail
Your love has left me strangled
You got me bug bug bug bug

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With The Bug

Roy orbison
Well down through the ages. woman's had a time
Tryin' to get her man to walk the chalk line
To keep him on a string with a kiss and a hug
But there's never been a man who wasn't bitten by the bug
Yeah rockin' and rollin' with the bug
Rollin' and strollin' with the bug
Itchin' and twitchin' singin' and swingin'
Yeah with the bug
Well delilah loved sammy, but he wouldnt stay home
Always runnin' and leavin' dee home
She set out to find sammy late one night
Found him down at the sand dune rockin' it right
He was rockin' and rollin' with the bug
Rollin' and strollin' he had the bug
Itchin' and twitchin' singin' and swingin'
Yeah with the bug
Well helen of troy a cool smile on her face
She sported the face that launched a thousand ships
But she couldn't control the wiggle in her hips
She lost her fame and fortune, just one flip
Well rockin' and rollin' with the bug
Rollin' and strollin' had the bug
Itchin' and twitchin' singin' and swingin'
Yeah with the bug
And josephine, had trouble from the start
She couldn't keep her eye on little bonoparte
Every single time that josie looked around
She found her bony runnin' round and round
He was rockin' and rollin' with the bug
Rollin' and strollin' had the bug
Itchin' and twitchin' singin' and swingin'
Yeah with the bug
Well now, are modern times the same as history
Even in the twentieth century
And our future now, oh yes it's plain to see
If we don't look out, the bug will get you and me
We'll be rockin' and rollin' with the bug
Rollin' and strollin' with the bug
Itchin' and twitchin' movin' and groovin'
Yeah with the bug
Yeah, with the bug
With the bug
With the bug
With the bug
With the bug
With the bug
With the bug ...

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With A Bug

Well down through the ages. woman's had a time
Tryin' to get her man to walk the chalk line
To keep him on a string with a kiss and a hug
But there's never been a man who wasn't bitten by the bug
Yeah rockin' and rollin' with the bug
Rollin' and strollin' with the bug
Itchin' and twitchin' singin' and swingin'
Yeah with the bug
Well Delilah loved Sammy, but he wouldnt stay home
Always runnin' and leavin' Dee home
She set out to find Sammy late one night
Found him down at the sand dune rockin' it right
He was rockin' and rollin' with the bug
Rollin' and strollin' with the bug
Itchin' and twitchin' singin' and swingin'
Yeah with the bug
Well Helen of Troy a cool smile on her face
She sported the face that launched a thousand ships
But she couldn't control the wiggle in her hips
She lost her fame and fortune, just one flip
Well rockin' and rollin' with the bug
Rollin' and strollin' with the bug
Itchin' and twitchin' singin' and swingin'
Yeah with the bug
Well now Josephine, She had trouble from the start
She couldn't keep her eye on little Bonoparte
Every single time that Josie looked around
She found her Bony runnin' round and round
He was rockin' and rollin' with the bug
Rollin' and strollin' with the bug
Itchin' and twitchin' singin' and swingin'
Yeah with the bug
Well now, are modern times the same as history
Even in the twentieth century
And our future now well it's plain to see
If we don't look out, the bug will get you and me
We'll be rockin' and rollin' with the bug
Rollin' and strollin' with the bug
Itchin' and twitchin' singin' and swingin'
Yeah with the bug
Yeah, with the bug
with the bug
with the bug
with the bug
with the bug
with the bug....

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You Stink!

'You stink!
Don't you know you're out of tune,
And out of rhythm.
You stink!
Don't you know you're out of tune,
And out of rhythm.
You stink!
Don't you know you're out of tune,
And out of rhythm.
Way off the beat without a syncopation given.'

All I've ever wanted from you,
Was your trust.
Although my honesty shows,
Perhaps I trust too much.

Can't you see,
I'd rather be in sync with you desperately.
But you think I should first prove,
My devotion is complete...
With a soothing approving beat you seek!

'You stink!
Don't you know you're out of tune,
And out of rhythm.
You stink!
Don't you know you're out of tune,
And out of rhythm.
You stink!
Don't you know you're out of tune,
And out of rhythm.
Way off the beat without a syncopation given.'

'You stink! '
I know this but I came without a motive.
'You stink! '
I know this but I came without a motive.
'You stink! '
I know this but I came without a motive.
'You stink!
You stink.
You stink.
You stink! '

'You stink! '
I know this but I came without a motive.
'You stink! '
I know this but I came without a motive.
'You stink! '
I know this but I came without a motive.

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Like a Seesaw that Bumps Your Rump

Don't blame me...
Like a seesaw that bumps your rump.
When you're riding high,
Times come when you meet a slump!

I wont pretend to be amazed,
When the rush begins to slow...
And your flow is on hold!

Don't be mean...
When you see me get over a hump!
I was too keen,
To realize I might be dumped!

You warned me many years ago,
If I couldn't keep up with you...
Then no more of me you'd know!

Don't blame me...
Like a seesaw that bumps your rump.
When you're riding high,
Times come when you meet a slump!

I wont pretend to be amazed,
When the rush begins to slow...
And your flow is on hold!

You warned me many years ago,
If I couldn't keep up with you...
Then no more of me you'd know!

That one hint given...
Got me up to go!
And that seesaw that you ride is old!
You're on your rump alone and now it shows!

Don't blame me...
Like a seesaw that bumps your rump.
When you're riding high,
Times come when you meet a slump!

You warned me many years ago,
If I couldn't keep up with you...
Then no more of me you'd know!
And that seesaw that you ride is old!
You're on your rump alone and now it shows!

Like a seesaw,
Bump. Bumpin' your rump.
A seesaw,

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Purple Pain-A Parody

Inspired by Barny the purple dinosaur

Parody of Prince's song Purple Rain


Purple pain
You were always meant I know
To cause me sorrow
You were always meant I know
To make me wanna bleed my own blood and gouge out my eyes
You were always meant I know
To cause me pain
Now all I ever want
Since I saw you on my tv screen is for you
You damm purple pain to drown
In the purple rain


Purple pain
Purple pain
Purple pain
Purple pain
Purple pain
Purple pain


I only want to see you drowning in the purple rain
Oh you damm purple pain


I never wanted my kids to love you
I only thought of you as some kind of fiend
Barney, I could never stand you for another minute
So my television now I must turn off
Even through I know it would make my babies cry
It's such a shame that your lifetime has't come to a end
Oh, oh yes it is


Purple pain
Purple pain
Purple pain
Purple pain
Purple pain
Purple pain


I only wanted to see you drown
You damm purple pain
In the purple rain

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The Purple Cow Parodies

Gelett Burgess' original poem…

A Purple Cow

I never saw a Purple Cow,
I never hope to see one;
But I can tell you, anyhow,
I'd rather see than be one.


Poem parodied in the
style of…


John Milton


Hence, vain, deluding cows.
The herd of folly, without colour bright,
How little you delight,
Or fill the Poet's mind, or songs arouse!
But, hail! thou goddess gay of feature!
Hail divinest purple creature!
Oh, Cow, thy visage is too bright
To hit the sense of human sight.
And though I'd like, just once, to see thee
I never, never, never'd be thee!


Percy Bysshe Shelley


Hail to thee, blithe spirit!
Cow thou never wert;
But in life to cheer it
Playest thy full part
In purple lines of unpremeditated art.

The pale purple colour
Melts around thy sight
Like a star, but duller,
In the broad daylight.
I'd see thee, but I would not be thee if I might.

We look before and after
At the cattle as they browse;
Our most hearty laughter
Something sad must rouse.
Our sweetest songs are those that tell of Purple Cows.

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June Bug

They call me a June Bug, But I don't come in June
They really should call me a May Bug
I fly all night looking for a light
A little romance and then love

I'm the June Bug of another's dream
Yeah, I'm the one that's on your screen
I'm the one that comes in the hundreds
The one you step over with your feet

I'm a June Bug, A June Bug
I'm roly poly round
Looking for love, Yeah, looking for love
And I know it's flying around

I spend seven years in that ground
And all I ever am is a Grub
Of course when I climb out of that hole
I wanna find me a little bug love

You want to see my buddies?
Well, just keep that light burning bright
We will come in the thousands
And visit you all night

We come up from the ground
At night we can be found
We visit you in the month of May
And all night we hang around

You want to know just why
We don't move when you come outside?
Well, that's because a Bug named Fred
Told us all to pretend we died

We come up from the ground
All we want is a little Bug love
But I tell you that ain't easy
Sometimes it's just real tough

I saw Sam the Bug the other day
Flying straight for a big head light
I guess he liked it quite a lot
Because he is still there and bright

Poor Arnold the Bug, Well, I don't know
He is stuck on someone's shoe
We tried to tell him but he had listened to Fred
That Bug just wouldn't move

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Take Me To The Mardi Gras

Words & music by paul simon
Cmon take me to the mardi gras
Where the people sing and play
Where the dancing is elite
And theres music in the street
Both night and day
Hurry take me to the mardi gras
In the city of my dreams
You can legalize your lows
You can wear your summer clothes
In the new orleans
And I will lay my burden down
Rest my head upon that shore
And when I wear that starry crown
I wont be wanting anymore
Take your burdens to the mardi gras
Let the music wash your soul
You can mingle in the street
You can jingle to the beat of the jelly roll
Tumba, tumba, tumba, mardi gras
Tumba, tumba, tumba, day
Mm------------

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Too Hot

Everybodys working out at the gymnasium,
Pumping iron, getting fit, ready to compete.
Everybody working on their own body heat.
Everybody hustling out on the street.
Julian is out there looking at locations,
Arthurs on the picket line winding up the nation,
Sara janes working on her way to a degree,
But back in the gymnasium theyre working out and body popping.
Its gotta stop because its getting too hot.
Cool it down, cause its getting too hot.
Its getting crazy, going over the top.
Its too hot, its too hot, its too hot, its too hot.
All the kids are working out, theyre on their way to fame.
Arthurs on the war path, here he comes again.
The citys like a sauna bath, stinks like a drain.
Theyre pumping up the nation but its gonna bust a vein.
Tourists everywhere, blocking up the streets.
My ice cream cone just melted in the heat.
And while I do my best to stop my raspberry from slopping,
Back in the gymnasium theyre working out and body popping.
Its gotta stop because its getting too hot.
Cool it down, cause its getting too hot.
Its getting crazy, going over the top.
Its too hot, its too hot, its too hot, its too hot.
Its too hot, gotta cool it down.
Its too hot, turn the heating down.
Its too hot, the temperature is up.
Its too hot, its too hot, its too hot, its too hot.
The city lights start shining at the end of the day,
Taking the place of the big red sun as it slowly sets.
Meanwhile back in commuter city, another kids packing her bags,
And running away.
To a city that is really too hot,
Its piccadilly and its really too hot.
Too hot, too hot, too hot.
Arthurs working out, now hes really got the muscle,
Julians over budget, now hes really got to hustle,
And sara janes living on bag take-aways,
And working as a stripper on the school holidays.
Sleazy town, gets me down, want some peace and quiet.
The police are everywhere like theres gonna be a riot.
Back in the gymnasium theyre training for a war.
Think of all the fun we had in 1984.
Its gotta stop because its getting too hot.
Cool it down, cause its getting too hot.
Its getting crazy, going over the top.
Its too hot, its too hot, its too hot, its too hot.
Its too hot, gotta cool it down.
Its too hot, turn the heating down.
Its too hot, the temperature is up.

[...] Read more

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Soccer Rollback

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Hot Town

Written by dewey bunnell, 1998
Found on human nature.
Down in this hot town
At some old cafe tonight
You hear the dogs bay
At the green neon light
Its one hundred degrees
But the heat is free
In this hot town
This hot town tonight
And that there candle
Only adds to the heat
As you sit in your t-shirt
Trying to eat
You watch the waitress, you watch the clock on the wall
And the flies in the window climb up just to fall
In this hot town (hot town, hot town)
This hot town tonight (hot town, hot, hot)
Down in this hot town
Dont know no person to call
And this here cafe
Dont serve no beer at all
Out on the sidewalk
Its cooling down for your feet (cooling down, cooling down for your feet)
But the women are still sweaty and sweet (still sweaty, sweaty and sweet)
So you watch the waitress, you watch the clock on the wall
And the flies in the window climb up just to fall
In this hot town (hot town, hot town)
This hot town tonight (hot town, hot, hot)
Its one hundred degrees
But the heat is free
In this hot town (hot town, hot town)
This hot town tonight (hot town, hot, hot)
Its one hundred degrees (oh yeah)
In this hot town (hot town, hot town)
This hot town tonight (hot town, hot, hot)
(hot town, hot town)
(hot town, hot, hot)... (fade)

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Madi Gras

Madi Gras

Three wise men followed the light
From a star in the night, shinning bright
12 days later the manger was found
Where the baby was born
Gifts of frankincense and myrrh
Were given to the newborn King
From the wise men

Then the party was on
Time to Mardi Gras
Celebrate with beads
Bangles
Flashing’ boobies
That seem to come
With the spirits of beer, wine, and whiskey
Along with the Mardi Gras colors
Purple, green, and gold
That represent faith, power, and justice
Justice is purple
Power is gold
Faith is green
The duration of the Mardi Gras party
Lasts for six 6 weeks
Until Fat Tuesday
Come Ash Wednesday
We put the party away
For another 6 weeks,
To participate in Lent
Until Easter Sunday
When Jesus was born again

At that time we celebrate once more
By coloring eggs to hide
That are sometimes purple, green, and gold
Put in a basket to be sold
With ribbons, candy, plastic grass
And toys, for all the girls and boys
Somewhere inside we all have faith,
This is true
For there is a star, in the night
That still, shines bright

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Purple Rain

(prince)
I never meant to cause you any trouble
I never meant to cause you any pain
I only ever wanted to see you laughing
Only want to see you laughing in the purple rain
Purple rain, purple rain
Purple rain, purple rain
Purple rain, purple rain
Only want to see you underneath the purple rain
Honey, I never wanted to be your wicked lover
Only wanted to be some kind of friend
I could never leave you for another
Its such a shame our friendship had to end
Purple rain, purple rain
Purple rain, purple rain
Purple rain, purple rain
Only wanted to see you underneath the purple rain
Honey, I know, I know, I know times are changing
This time we all reach out for something new
That means you too
You say youre looking for a leader,
But you cant seem to make up your mind
But you better open it up wide, let it guide you
To the purple rain
Purple rain, purple rain
Purple rain, purple rain
Purple rain, purple rain
Only want to see you, baby, in the purple rain

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King Of Somewhere Hot

King of somewhere hot
By: jimmy buffett, ralph macdonald, william salter, robert greenidge
1988
Robert greenidge and ralph macdonald finally got me to trinidad and when I heard the desperados playing my song up on laventhill I felt like a king and it was hot.
Ive travelled all around the world
And there are places that still stand out to me
None can really quite compare
To my island in the sea
My personal utopia
A place to run to where I can hide away
Where I can truly reign supreme
Somewhere fresh and clean where a man can dream
Chorus:
Im king, (king) king of somewhere hot
Im king, (king) like every man should be
Im king, (king) king of somewhere hot
Where the music in my soul(music in my soul)
Makes me start to lose control (start to lose control)
And Ill melt right on the spot
Im the king of somewhere hot (hot)
King of somewhere hot (hot)
King of somewhere hot (hot)
King of somewhere hot (hot)
Now you just rent yourself a tile and dance the night away
Just like the locals do
A million miles from robin leach, life is just a beach
So far out of reach
Chorus:
Im king, (king) king of somewhere hot
Im king, (king) like every man should be
Im king, (king) king of somewhere hot
Where the music in my soul(music in my soul)
Makes me start to lose control (start to lose control)
And Ill melt right on the spot
Im the king of somewhere hot (hot)
King of somewhere hot (hot)
King of somewhere hot (hot)
King of somewhere hot (hot)
So hot!
(pan solo)
Some day I hope to find my queen I know shell come my way
Ill give her all my love
Its not a complicated thing someplace I can swing
Where a man can be a king
Chorus:
Im king, (king) king of somewhere hot
Im king, (king) like every man should be
Im king, (king) king of somewhere hot
I dont care how hard you look (dont care how hard you look)
Ooh you wont find me in the book (wont find me in the book)

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song performed by Jimmy BuffettReport problemRelated quotes
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Hot With U

{additional vocal by eve}
Hot with u
Chorus:
I wanna get hot with u
Get u underneath the cream and ooh
Get u doing things u thought ud never do
Make u suck your tongue and say ooh
I wanna get hot with u
Take u upstairs 2 the 14th room
Multicolored lights and an ocean view
Ooh, I wanna get hot with u
I wanna get hot with u {4x}
I want 2 get hot with u
I wanna get u underneath the cream
And do the marshmallow
Ooh, I wanna get hot with u
I wanna get u 2 do something
U thought ud never do
Like dance in front of my headlights
On a hot summer night ... nude
I wanna get hot with u
Chorus
I want 2 get hot with u
I wanna make u climb this chain around my waist
So I can prove that Im the only one that brings out
The freak in u ...
I wanna get hot with u
I wanna get hot with u {4x}
Know the body banging, got u singing
No shouts from the neighbours, telephone ringing
Put me in positions thought Id never do proper
Created a machine, now u know u cant stop her
Trying to turn me on - I never had this, so stop this
Im supposed 2 tremble cuz they call u the artist?
Lets wild out - can u handle ruff riding?
Treat u like a freak of the week and had u hiding from me
I can do whatever u like, if u could take it
If I could be your girlfriend, u could catch me naked
Cant front sexually, Id like a sample
But I dont think Im ready 4 u 2 make me an example
I mean - come on - why front on
Id never place time - queen in your life
I mean - will never
The days that u feeling for me ... neutral
That Im ready 2 call u daddy
Even get got with u
Meet me early morning in a 4th dimension plane
Astral travelling hottie, I know u know my game
Underneath the cream Ill meet u
And then well rearrange

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song performed by PrinceReport problemRelated quotes
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XI. Guido

You are the Cardinal Acciaiuoli, and you,
Abate Panciatichi—two good Tuscan names:
Acciaiuoli—ah, your ancestor it was
Built the huge battlemented convent-block
Over the little forky flashing Greve
That takes the quick turn at the foot o' the hill
Just as one first sees Florence: oh those days!
'T is Ema, though, the other rivulet,
The one-arched brown brick bridge yawns over,—yes,
Gallop and go five minutes, and you gain
The Roman Gate from where the Ema's bridged:
Kingfishers fly there: how I see the bend
O'erturreted by Certosa which he built,
That Senescal (we styled him) of your House!
I do adjure you, help me, Sirs! My blood
Comes from as far a source: ought it to end
This way, by leakage through their scaffold-planks
Into Rome's sink where her red refuse runs?
Sirs, I beseech you by blood-sympathy,
If there be any vile experiment
In the air,—if this your visit simply prove,
When all's done, just a well-intentioned trick,
That tries for truth truer than truth itself,
By startling up a man, ere break of day,
To tell him he must die at sunset,—pshaw!
That man's a Franceschini; feel his pulse,
Laugh at your folly, and let's all go sleep!
You have my last word,—innocent am I
As Innocent my Pope and murderer,
Innocent as a babe, as Mary's own,
As Mary's self,—I said, say and repeat,—
And why, then, should I die twelve hours hence? I—
Whom, not twelve hours ago, the gaoler bade
Turn to my straw-truss, settle and sleep sound
That I might wake the sooner, promptlier pay
His due of meat-and-drink-indulgence, cross
His palm with fee of the good-hand, beside,
As gallants use who go at large again!
For why? All honest Rome approved my part;
Whoever owned wife, sister, daughter,—nay,
Mistress,—had any shadow of any right
That looks like right, and, all the more resolved,
Held it with tooth and nail,—these manly men
Approved! I being for Rome, Rome was for me.
Then, there's the point reserved, the subterfuge
My lawyers held by, kept for last resource,
Firm should all else,—the impossible fancy!—fail,
And sneaking burgess-spirit win the day.
The knaves! One plea at least would hold,—they laughed,—
One grappling-iron scratch the bottom-rock

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poem by from The Ring and the BookReport problemRelated quotes
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