The First Fan
READ AT A MEETING OF THE BOSTON BRIC-A-BRAC
CLUB, FEBRUARY 21, 1877
WHEN rose the cry 'Great Pan is dead!'
And Jove's high palace closed its portal,
The fallen gods, before they fled,
Sold out their frippery to a mortal.
'To whom?' you ask. I ask of you.
The answer hardly needs suggestion;
Of course it was the Wandering Jew,--
How could you put me such a question?
A purple robe, a little worn,
The Thunderer deigned himself to offer;
The bearded wanderer laughed in scorn,--
You know he always was a scoffer.
'Vife shillins! 't is a monstrous price;
Say two and six and further talk shun.'
'Take it,' cried Jove; 'we can't be nice,--
'T would fetch twice that at Leonard's auction.'
The ice was broken; up they came,
All sharp for bargains, god and goddess,
Each ready with the price to name
For robe or head-dress, scarf or bodice.
First Juno, out of temper, too,--
Her queenly forehead somewhat cloudy;
Then Pallas in her stockings blue,
Imposing, but a little dowdy.
The scowling queen of heaven unrolled
Before the Jew a threadbare turban
'Three shillings.' 'One. 'T will suit some old
Terrific feminine suburban.'
But as for Pallas,--how to tell
In seemly phrase a fact so shocking?
She pointed,--pray excuse me,--well,
She pointed to her azure stocking.
And if the honest truth were told,
Its heel confessed the need of darning;
'Gods!' low-bred Vulcan cried, 'behold!
There! that's what comes of too much larning!'
Pale Proserpine came groping round,
Her pupils dreadfully dilated
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poem by Oliver Wendell Holmes
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