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Less Eccentric But Thoughtfully Provocative

Remembering those first decisions,
I had made for myself...
I can now admit to feeling awkward then.
I had no elder sibling to follow.
I was the oldest child in my clan.
And I noticed with me several experiments began.

I was expected to 'know' before I knew a thing.
I was expected to 'grow'...
To show my sister, Mimmie 'everything'.
And she knew she got the short end of the stick.

'You don't know what your're doing!
Do you? '
~Shut up! I'm two years older than you...
LITTLE girl.~

She hated me for that.
And I didn't care.
I hated we both were in that trap!
Of that I was young and too aware.

I made many mistakes!
I didn't know what I was doing.
The first born of a crew,
Is often blamed for what the other kids do!

And when I knew this was going to be my fate,
I flew!
Or I thought I could...
By taking a swan drive from the nest!
I had just turned 18...
When I joined the military.
Never again to say I was bored to death.

It took me years to land on my feet.
Since I kept knocking my head,
Against many tests I objected to in protest.

Remembering those first decisions,
I had made for myself...
I can now admit to feeling awkward then.
I had no elder sibling to follow.
I was the oldest child in my clan.
And I noticed with me several experiments began.

Even to this day I look for ways,
To be daring and more outrageous.
Although I like to perceive my actions to be,
Less eccentric but thoughtfully provocative!

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