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Dirty Weekend

I took you to a B&B
And signed us in as man and wife,
A cosy guest-house by the sea
For the worst weekend in my life.

All night you moaned and cried aloud
Although I tried to make you shush,
And when we came down for our meal
They stared at us in an awful hush.

I suppose I really should have known
That lust turns quickly into hate.
When everyone can hear you groan
It's better to be celibate! !

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