Either Or just for a laugh
Either Or
Though constipation is a curse,
Diarrhoea is much worse.
I alternate between the two.
There’s very little I can do
Because I suffer I.B.S.
Which is a nuisance I confess.
Retention and distention bloats
a condition which denotes.
The former is full control
though other people find it droll.
I cannot make a joke of it
Its not enjoyable one bit.
It is the diarrhoea I fear.
Because it tends to interfere.
With anything I try to do
I have to swiftly find a loo.
Or otherwise disgrace myself.
I think that’s why I’m on the shelf.
I search in vain to find a cure
The only thing of which I’m sure.
Until I do I’ll be alone
and occupy my favourite throne.
Such is the curse of I.B.S.
I can’t afford to be careless.
No decent girl would want to be
Placed second to the lavatory.
But I can’t help it I’m afraid
it seems to be the way I’m made.
I’m all bunged up or far too loose.
There is no way that I can choose.
Constipation, diarrhoea
I wish they both would disappear
So I could lead a normal life
instead of this internal strife.
I either have to sit and strain
Or find the nearest loo again.
This malady drives me insane
I’m sick of trying to explain
To other folks the reason why
[...] Read more
poem by Ivor Or Ivor.e Hogg
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