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Groucho Marx

Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.

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Handy Dandy

Handy dandy, controversy surrounds him
He been around the world and back again
Something in the moonlight still hounds him
Handy dandy, just like sugar and candy
Handy dandy, if every bone in his body was broken he would never admit it
He got an all girl orchestra and when he says
Strike up the band, they hit it
Handy dandy, handy dandy
Bridge #1:
You say, what are ya made of?
He says, can you repeat what you said?
Youll say, what are you afraid of?
Hell say, nothin neither live nor dead.
Handy dandy, he got a stick in his hand and a pocket full of money
He says, darling, tell me the truth, how much time I got?
She says, you got all the time in the world, honey.
Handy dandy, handy dandy
Bridge #2:
Hes got that clear crystal fountain
Hes got that soft silky skin
Hes got that fortress on the mountain
With no doors, no windows, no thieves can break in
Handy dandy, sitting with a girl named nancy in a garden feelin kind of lazy
He says, ya want a gun? Ill give you one. she says, boy, you talking crazy.
Handy dandy, just like sugar and candy
Handy dandy, pour him another brandy
Handy dandy, he got a basket of flowers and a bag full or sorrow
He finishes his drink, he gets up from the table he says,
Okay, boys, Ill see you tomorrow.
Handy dandy, handy dandy, just like sugar and candy
Handy dandy, just like sugar and candy

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Running Away Doesn't Free

Deciding to come out of hiding,
To run away...
From what's inside,
Kept still denied.
But then...
Why does one keep believing,
Running from something...
Frees.

Deciding to come out of hiding,
To run away...
From what's inside,
Kept still denied.
But then...
Why does one keep believing,
Running from something...
Frees.

So many do it thinking...
Running from something frees.
And keep a pace believed...
A running from something frees.
To only feel defeated,
By a running with no relief.
So many do it thinking...
Running from something frees.
And keep a pace believed...
A running from something frees.
To only feel defeated,
By a running with no relief.

Deciding to come out of hiding,
To run away...
From what's inside,
Kept still denied.
But then...
Why does one keep believing,
Running from something...
Frees.

So many do it thinking...
Running from something frees.
And keep a pace believed...
A running from something frees.
To only feel defeated,
By a running with no relief.
So many do it thinking...
Running from something frees.
And keep a pace believed...
A running from something frees.

[...] Read more

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Truth Frees

Truth frees!
Like a struggle from a cocoon,
To be butterflied!
To soar with beauty,
In Sun drenched skies.

Truth frees!
And that is seen from once closed eyes.
Freed from a consciousness known to exist,
In limitations condoned...
To magnetize those heartaches.
With fears and pains,
Shared to groan and felt to moan.

Truth frees!
A mind disconnected,
From disrespect and neglect.
To reflect upon rejection,
As tests to produce one's best.
With a satisfaction,
That brings one a peace of mind...
Now one can confess,
Brings one more rest.

Truth frees those who can accept,
Those lessons learned.
And on them can self examine,
A success that has progressed...
From low depths to heights now flown!

Truth frees,
A happiness trapped...
In doubts now lived,
Without comparing sorrows.
As if this is a gift to give!

'Are you a christian, democrat?
Independent or conservative?
Are you liberal or right wing?
Are you a socialist, capitalist...
Or a nonconformist?
With misfit mutterings?

Are you a nationalist,
With a patriotic point of view?
Are you racially inclined?
Exactly...
What are you? '

Truth frees!

[...] Read more

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Your Ole Handy Man

I have to mow the lawn
And i have to wash the car
And i'd just like to know
Just who you think you are
I'm gettin' tired of wagging
That old heavy garbage can
Your woman's gettin' tired
Of being your ole handy man
I have to run your water
And i have to wash your back
And i have to scrub the tub
After you have had your bath
You're as helpless as a baby
But i love you, understand
I'm just gettin' tired
Of being your ole handy man
Your woman's gettin' tired of being your ole handy man
Now i know you've got ten fingers
But where's your helpin' hand
I've just made a decision
I've stood all i'm gonna stand
Your woman's gettin' tired of being your ole handy man
I do everything for you
You never help yourself
An' i think i'd die from shock
If you raised a hand to help
Well, i'm not gonna keep it up
That's what you got planned
Your woman's gettin' tired of being your ole handy man
Your woman's gettin' tired of being your ole handy man
Now i know you got ten fingers
But where's that helpin' hand
I've just made a decision
I've stood all i'm gonna stand
Your woman's gettin' tired of being your ole handy man
Tag:
Your woman's gettin' tired of being your ole handy man

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Money, Money

My baby gives me the finance blues, tax me to the limit of my revenues.
Here she comes finger-poppin, clickety-click
She says furs or diamonds, you take your pick.
She wants money, what she wants, she wants money, what she wants,
She wants money, what she wants, she wants money, what she wants,
Money money, money money money. money money, money money money.
She say, money, honey, Id rob a bank,
I just load my gun and mosey down to the bank.
Knockin off my neighborhood savings and load,
To keep my sweet chiquita in eau de cologne.
She wants money, what she wants, she wants money, what she wants,
Money money, money money money. money money, money money money.
Mama dont send me down to rob that bank again,
I got a notion that your leadin me to sin.
Wont you relax, wont you lay way back,
Dont you bug your honey bout no cadillac.
Its only bucks, you dont need no jack.
So wont you please relax and lay way back.
My babys lovin gives me such a thrill;
It gives me inspiration makin counterfeit bills.
Now some folks say the best things in life are free,
She wants money, what she wants, she wants money, what she wants,
Money money, money money money. money money, money money money.
Lord made a lady out of adams rib, next thing you know, you got womens lib.
Lovely to look upon, heaven to touch;
Its a real shame that they got to cost so much.

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Spectator ab Extra

As I sat in the Café I said to myself,
They may talk as they please about what they call pelf,
They may sneer as they like about eating and drinking,
But help it I cannot, I cannot help thinking
How pleasant it is to have money, heigh-ho!
How pleasant it is to have money.

I sit at my table en grand seigneur,
And when I have done, throw a crust to the poor;
Not only the pleasure itself of good living,
But also the pleasure of now and then giving:
So pleasant it is to have money, heigh-ho!
So pleasant it is to have money.

They may talk as they please about what they call pelf,
And how one ought never to think of one’s self,
How pleasures of thought surpass eating and drinking—
My pleasure of thought is the pleasure of thinking
How pleasant it is to have money, heigh-ho!
How pleasant it is to have money.

II
Le Diner

Come along, ‘tis the time, ten or more minutes past,
And he who came first had to wait for the last;
The oysters ere this had been in and been out;
Whilst I have been sitting and thinking about
How pleasant it is to have money, heigh-ho!
How pleasant it is to have money.

A clear soup with eggs, voilà tout; of the fish
The filets de sole are a moderate dish
A la Orly, but you’re for the red mullet, you say:
By the gods of good fare, who can question today
How pleasant it is to have money, heigh-ho!
How pleasant it is to have money.

After oysters, sauterne; then sherry; champagne,
Ere one bottle goes, comes another again;
Fly up, thou bold cork, to the ceiling above,
And tell to our ears in the sound that they love
How pleasant it is to have money, heigh-ho!
How pleasant it is to have money.

I’ve the simplest of palates; absurd it may be,
But I almost could dine on a poulet-au-riz,
Fish and soup and omelette and that – but the deuce –
There were to be woodcocks, and not Charlotte Russe!
So pleasant it is to have money, heigh-ho!

[...] Read more

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Handy Man

Well on a Monday I'll be slingin' hash Tuesday I'll be collectin' trash
And on a Wednesday I might be tendin' bar
Thursday I'll be the guy who parks your car
On a Friday I might be teachin' school a Saturday finds me hustlin' pool
I got a whole lotta talents in demand that's why they call me Handy Man

Pow-pow-pow-hum all the neighborhood girls and boys
Pow-pow-pow-pow they come to me to mend their toys
Ta-ra-ra-ra their daddys call me to mow their lawn
And their mama's all horny when their daddys are gone
I can drive a tractor or wheel a truck I can deal a hand at poker with exceptional luck
And I can chop down a redwood usin' just one hand
That's why they call me Handy Man

Pow-pow-pow-pow-hum yeah you know if you need me for emergencies
I can come round you know work around the house
Or the backyards or somethin' not too taxin' no
Yeah on six in the morning I'm out pickin' fruits 8:45 I'm back pressin' suits
Twelve o'clock you'll see me shinin' shoes the coctail hour I'll be a servin' booze
I can wash your windows or walk your pet
Get your color reception and on a black and white set
Yeah I can play concerto on your baby grand cause I'm a huh Handy Man

Pow-pow-pow-hum all the neighborhood girls and boys
Pow-pow-pow-pow they come to me to mend their toys
Ta-ra-ra-ra their daddys call me to mow their lawn
And their mama's all horny when their daddy's not at home
I save my evenings for a brand new faces
Weekends are reserved for a emergency cases
I tell you babe you gotta understand that I'm a handy man
I mean a handy man you know what I am I mean a handy man

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Money

Hallelujah
Now I lay, I lay me down to sleep
Hallelujah
Almighty dollar
I praise the Lord afford my roll to keep
Hallelujah
Almighty dollar
Money
I need more money
Just a little more money
Yeah, I need more money
Money, money
I need more money
I need more money
Just a little more money
Just a little more money
Yeah, I need more money
Yeah, I need more money
And give us these days
Our daily bread
Only you we praise
Almighty dollar
Money
My personal saviour
Money
A material lust
Money
Life's only treasure
Money
In God we trust
And if I should die before I wake
Hallelujah
Almight dollar
I'm gonna take the money that I make
Hallelujah
Almighty dollar
Money
I need more money
Just a little more money
Yeah, I need more money
Money, money
I need more money
I need more money
Just a little more money
Just a little more money
Yeah, I need more money
Yeah, I need more money
And give us these days
Our daily bread
Only you we praise

[...] Read more

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Money (In God We Trust)

Hallelujah
Now I lay, I lay me down to sleep
Hallelujah
Almighty dollar
I praise the Lord afford my roll to keep
Hallelujah
Almighty dollar
Money
I need more money
Just a little more money
Yeah, I need more money
Money, money
I need more money
I need more money
Just a little more money
Just a little more money
Yeah, I need more money
Yeah, I need more money
And give us these days
Our daily bread
Only you we praise
Almighty dollar
Money
My personal saviour
Money
A material lust
Money
Life's only treasure
Money
In God we trust
And if I should die before I wake
Hallelujah
Almight dollar
I'm gonna take the money that I make
Hallelujah
Almighty dollar
Money
I need more money
Just a little more money
Yeah, I need more money
Money, money
I need more money
I need more money
Just a little more money
Just a little more money
Yeah, I need more money
Yeah, I need more money
And give us these days
Our daily bread
Only you we praise

[...] Read more

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Money Back Guarantee

By: jimmy buffett, michael utley, will jennings
1983
One day youll be glad I came around
I may be the best thing you have found
Aint much you can count on in this town
I swear Im speaking from my heart
And I want let you down
Chorus:
My love is guaranteed
Youre never going to see the end of me
Ive got all you need
Like a ginsu knife or a bamboo steamer
Late-night t.v. hawk-eyed screamer
Youll be the coffee Ill be the creamer
Im money back, money back guaranteed
Money back, money back guaranteed
I just do my best to stay alive
Got a junked out car but you should see me drive
Racing down st. charles avenue
Aint got much but what I got
Will sure be good for you
Chorus:
My love is guaranteed
Youre never going to see the end of me
Ive got all you need
Like a ginsu knife or a bamboo steamer
Late-night t.v. hawk-eyed screamer
Youll be the coffee Ill be the creamer
Im money back, money back guaranteed
Money back, money back guaranteed
Flyin down the highway of my dreams
You will find my crazy love
Is always what it seems
Chorus:
My love is guaranteed
Youre never going to see the end of me
Ive got all you need
Like a ginsu knife or a bamboo steamer
Late-night t.v. hawk-eyed screamer
Youll be the coffee Ill be the creamer
Im money back, money back guaranteed
Money back, money back guaranteed
Im money back, money back guaran...
Money back, money back guaran...
Money back, (money back) money back guaranteed
Money back, money back guaran...
Money back, money back guaran...
Im money back, money back guaranteed
Money back, money back guaran...
Money back, money back guaran...

[...] Read more

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Money Talks

Scene: into flashs den - a night club
Scene: in flashs den, a night club partly converted into an office.
Sung by flash, floosies and spivs:
Show me a man who says he can live without bread
And Ill show you a man whos a liar and in debt.
Theres no one alive who cant be purchased or enticed
Theres no man alive who wouldnt sell for a price,
Money talks and were the living proof,
There aint no limit to what money can do
Money talks, money talks.
Money cant breathe and money cant see,
But when I pull out a fiver people listen to me.
Money cant run and money cant walk,
But when I write out a cheque I swear to God I hear money talk.
Money talks and, baby, when youve been bought
You pay attention everytime money talks.
Money talks, money talks.
Money talks and theres no doubt about it
Money talks and we cant live without it,
Whats the point of living unless youve got money?
I just couldnt function without money.
Money talks, money talks,
Money talks, money talks.
Show me an upright respected man
And Ill have him licking my boots when I put money in his hand.
It rots your heart, it gets to your soul,
Before you know where you are youre a slave to the green gold.
Money talks and were the living proof
There aint no limit to what money can do.
Money talks you out of your self-respect,
The more you crave it the cheaper you get.
Money talks, money talks.
Money buys you time and people listen,
Money can buy a smile and make life worth living.
If youre ugly money can improve you.
I just couldnt face the world without mazuma.
Money talks, money talks.

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How To Make Money

how to make money,
baby;
how to make money;
tell me sweet love
you tell me
how to make money
how to make an easy billion


the world’s full of it
in cyberspace
and in shopping malls;
the world’s full of money schemes
in our real world
and where we buy a drink
or get more fries


it’s full on
about how to make money,
baby;
how to make money


make money, pal
they say
doing nothing;
I’ve got an auto system
and all you need is internet
and all you’ve got to do
is sit back and let the dollars roll
into your bank account


so tell me
how to make money,
baby;
how to make money


come in to this meeting
another group says
and we’ll show you how
show you how easy it is
how easy it is to make money:
it’s auto, auto, auto, fully automated
and the money keeps coming;
the money rolls
rolls in, rolls in, rolls in

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Silas Stingy

Once upon a time there lived an old miser man
Once upon a time there lived an old miser man
By the name of silas stingy
By the name of silas stingy
He carried all his money in a little black box
He carried all his money in a little black box
Which was heavy as a rock
Which was heavy as a rock
With a big padlock
With a big padlock
All the little kids would shout
All the little kids would shout
When silas was about
When silas was about
Chorus:
Chorus:
Money, money, money bags
Money, money, money bags
Money, money, money bags
Money, money, money bags
There goes mingy stingy
There goes mingy stingy
There goes mingy stingy
There goes mingy stingy
Money, money, money bags
Money, money, money bags
Money, money, money bags
Money, money, money bags
There goes mingy stingy
There goes mingy stingy
There goes mingy stingy
There goes mingy stingy
Silas didnt eat, which was just as well
Silas didnt eat, which was just as well
He would starve himself for a penny
He would starve himself for a penny
He wore old clothes and he never washed
He wore old clothes and he never washed
cause soap cost a lot
cause soap cost a lot
And the dirt kept him hot
And the dirt kept him hot
All the little kids would shout
All the little kids would shout
When silas was about
When silas was about
(chorus)
(chorus)
In the back of his head
In the back of his head

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Don't Only Focus On The Money

When you go for the money,
You'll be selling your soul.
And when one goes for just the money,
The heart turns cold.
So don't focus on the money,
Don't.
Don't only focus on the money,
Don't.

Bling is nice but there's more to life.
Don't focus on the money,
Don't.
Open your mind with bright wide eyes,
To take a ride that will excite you.
With a view to greater heights.
So...
Don't focus on the money,
Don't.
No don't you focus on the money,
Don't.

When you go for the money,
You'll be selling your soul.
Don't focus on the money,
Don't.

Don't let your heart grow old and cold.
Don't focus on the money,
Don't.
So...
Don't you focus on the money,
Don't.
No don't you focus on the money,
Don't.
So...
Don't you focus on the money,
Don't.
No don't you focus on the money,
Don't.

Don't only focus on the money,
Don't.
No don't you focus on the money,
Don't.
So you just don't focus on the money,
Don't.
So you just don't focus on the money,
Don't.
No don't you focus on the money,
Don't.

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Samuel Butler

Hudibras: Part 1 - Canto III

THE ARGUMENT

The scatter'd rout return and rally,
Surround the place; the Knight does sally,
And is made pris'ner: Then they seize
Th' inchanted fort by storm; release
Crowdero, and put the Squire in's place;
I should have first said Hudibras.

Ah me! what perils do environ
The man that meddles with cold iron!
What plaguy mischiefs and mishaps
Do dog him still with after-claps!
For though dame Fortune seem to smile
And leer upon him for a while,
She'll after shew him, in the nick
Of all his glories, a dog-trick.
This any man may sing or say,
I' th' ditty call'd, What if a Day?
For HUDIBRAS, who thought h' had won
The field, as certain as a gun;
And having routed the whole troop,
With victory was cock a-hoop;
Thinking h' had done enough to purchase
Thanksgiving-day among the Churches,
Wherein his mettle, and brave worth,
Might be explain'd by Holder-forth,
And register'd, by fame eternal,
In deathless pages of diurnal;
Found in few minutes, to his cost,
He did but count without his host;
And that a turn-stile is more certain
Than, in events of war, dame Fortune.

For now the late faint-hearted rout,
O'erthrown, and scatter'd round about,
Chas'd by the horror of their fear
From bloody fray of Knight and Bear,
(All but the dogs, who, in pursuit
Of the Knight's victory, stood to't,
And most ignobly fought to get
The honour of his blood and sweat,)
Seeing the coast was free and clear
O' th' conquer'd and the conqueror,
Took heart again, and fac'd about,
As if they meant to stand it out:
For by this time the routed Bear,
Attack'd by th' enemy i' th' rear,
Finding their number grew too great
For him to make a safe retreat,

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Money Talks

(myles goodwyn)
Published by northern goody two tunes, ltd./capac - ascap
I work so hard just to get along
Before I know it, all the moneys gone
I do my best just to make headway
And save some money for a rainy day
If money talks, its not talkin to me, if money talks, I said
If money talks, its not talkin to me, if money talks
If money can talk, lets talk
If money can talk, we should talk, talk about it
If money can talk, lets talk
If money can talk, we should talk
I find it rough just to pay the rent
Before I know it all the moneys spent
I work hard and toe the line
And learn to take one day at a time
If money talks, its not talkin to me, if money talks, I said
If money talks, its not talkin to me, if money talks
If money can talk, lets talk
If money can talk, we should talk, talk about it
If money can talk, lets talk
If money can talk, lets talk
We pay our taxes just like they say
And man it hurts to give the money away
A penny saved, a penny earned
You do your best, and you still get burned
If money talks, its not talkin to me, if money talks, I said
If money talks, its not talkin to me, if money talks
I work so hard, just like you (just like you)
But someday thingsll change
If money can talk, this is it
If money can talk, lets talk
If money can talk, we should talk, talk about it
If money can talk, lets talk
If money can talk, we should talk

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Money

Money money money
Everybody wants some
No money church can't run
Money for this
Money for that
No life without it
Can't sleep
She says hell
In this house
If she don't get it!

Before you get paid
Taxman grab it
Buy something
He grab it again
When money pressure hit
You cannot afford to get sick
Doctors want some
And if you dead without it
You will not be buried
Not even in the sticks

Money money money
It's like blood
It's the way world runs
Need money for food
Need money for fun
If you have no money
Blood a go run
Man join the army
To get some of it
Would be alive
If he had it

Money money money
Where is the money?
Have to get money
Before the day is done
Donkey cough
When you are broke
No money
Donkey don't eat
Everything stops
Earth can't turn
Have to have money
Even some to burn

Money money money
Where did it go?
Pocket is empty

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People Most Unhappy Chase The Money

With that mind that you have,
And all the things that you can do...
Why you only chase,
The money?
Why you only chasing for the money.
Why the money.
Why you only chasing money.

With that mind that you have,
And other things to pursue.
Why you only chase,
The money?
Why you only chasing for the money.

Why the money.
Why you only chasing after money.

People most unhappy chase the money.
People most unhappy find it hard to believe.
They are not the only ones with pockets empty.
And for them it isn't funny when the money stops coming.

People most unhappy chase the money.
Only money.
And those unhappy people find it hard to believe.
They are not the only ones with pockets empty.
And for them it isn't funny when the money stops coming.

People most unhappy chase the money.
People most unhappy find it hard to believe.
They are not the only ones with pockets empty.
And for them it isn't funny when the money stops coming.

People most unhappy chase the money.
Only money.
And those unhappy people find it hard to believe.
They are not the only ones with pockets empty.
And for them it isn't funny when the money stops coming.

People most unhappy chase the money.
Only money.
People most unhappy chase the money.
Only money.
People most unhappy chase the money.
Only money.
People most unhappy chase the money.

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Its Not About The Money

Seems like everybody's got a price
I wonder how they sleep at night
When the sale comes first and the truth
comes second
Just stop for a minute and smile
Why is everybody so serious?
Acting so damn mysterious
You got your shades on your eyes and your
heels so high
That you can't even have a good time
Everybody look to their left
Everybody look to their right
Can you feel that? Yeah
We'll pay them with love tonight
It's not about the money, money, money
We don't need your money, money, money
We just wanna make the world dance
Forget about the price tag
Ain't about the cha-ching, cha-ching
Ain't about the ba-bling, ba-bling
Wanna make the world dance
Forget about the price tag
We need to take it back in time
When music made us all unite
And it wasn't low blows and video hoes
Am I the only one gettin' tired?
Why is everybody so obsessed?
Money can't buy us happiness
Can we all slow down and enjoy right now
Guarantee we'll be feelin' alright
Everybody look to their left
Everybody look to their right
Can you feel that? Yeah
We'll pay them with love tonight
It's not about the money, money, money
We don't need your money, money, money
We just wanna make the world dance
Forget about the price tag
Ain't about the cha-ching, cha-ching
Ain't about the ba-bling, ba-bling
Wanna make the world dance
Forget about the price tag
Yeah, yeah, well, keep the price tag and
take the cash back
Just give me six strings and a half stack
And you can keep the cars, leave me the
garage
And all I, yes, all I need are keys and
guitars
And guess what, in 30 seconds I'm leaving

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Price Tag by Jessie J

Verse 1

Seems like everybodys got a price,
I wonder how they sleep at night.
When the sale comes first,
And the truth comes second,
Just stop, for a minute and
Smile

Why is everybody so serious!
Acting so damn mysterious
You got your shades on your eyes
And your heels so high
That you can't even have a good
Time.

Pre-chorus.

Everybody look to their left (yeah)
Everybody look to their right (ha)
Can you feel that (yeah)
We're paying with love tonight...

Chorus:

It's not about the money, money, money
We don't need your money, money, money
We just wanna make the world dance,
Forget about the Price Tag.

Ain't about the (ha) Cha-Ching Cha-Ching.
Aint about the (yeah) Ba-Bling Ba-Bling
Wanna make the world dance,
Forget about the Price Tag.

Verse 2.

(Listen, Okay.)
We need to take it back in time,
When music made us all UNITE!
And it wasn't low blows and video Hoes,
Am I the only one gettin... tired?

Why is everybody so obsessed?
Money can't buy us happiness.
If we all slow down and enjoy right now
Gurantee we'll be feelin
All right.

Pre-chorus.

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