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Parody Of “Uncle Ned”

DERE was an old nigger, and him name was Uncle Tom,
And him tale was rather slow;
Me try to read de whole, but me only read some,
Because me found it no go.
Den hang up de auther Mrs. Stowe,
And kick de volume wid your toe—
And dere's no more public for poor Uncle Tom,
He am gone whar de trunk—lining go.
Him tale dribbles on and on widout a break,
Till you hab no eyes for to see;
When I reached Chapter 4 I had got a headache,
So I had to let Chapter 4 be.
Den hang up, etc.
De demand one fine morning for Uncle Tom died,
De tears down Mrs. Stowe's face ran like rain;
For she knew berry well, now dey'd laid him on de shelf,
Dat she'd neber get a publisher again.
Den hang up, etc.

poem by Dante Gabriel Rossetti
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Keine Lust

Ich hab' keine Lust
Ich hab' keine Lust
Ich hab' keine Lust
Ich hab' keine Lust
Ich habe keine Lust mich nicht zu hassen
Hab' keine Lust mich anzufassen
Ich htte Lust zu onanieren
Hab' keine Lust es zu probieren
Ich htte Lust mich auszuziehen
Hab' keine Lust mich nackt zu sehen
Ich htte Lust mit groen Tieren
Hab' keine Lust es zu riskieren
Hab' keine Lust vom Schnee zu gehen
Hab' keine Lust zu erfrieren
Ich hab' keine Lust
Ich hab' keine Lust
Ich hab' keine Lust
Nein ich hab keine Lust
Ich hab' keine Lust etwas zu kauen
Denn ich hab' keine Lust es zu verdauen
Hab' keine Lust mich zu wiegen
Hab' keine Lust im Fett zu liegen
Ich htte Lust mit groen Tieren
Hab' keine Lust es zu riskieren
Hab' keine Lust vom Schnee zu gehen
Hab' keine Lust zu erfrieren
Ich bleibe einfach liegen
Und wieder zhle ich die Fliegen
Lustlos fasse ich mich an
Und merke bald ich bin schon lange kalt
So kalt, mir ist kalt . . .
Ich hab' keine Lust

song performed by Rammstein
Added by Lucian Velea
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November

'Tredje Reeb ind! - - Op at beslaae Mersseilet! -
Ha, alle Djævle, hvilken Nat! -'

*
Nøgent, øde Sted paa Jyllands Vestkyst.
(Det er Nat og Maaneskin; Skyerne jage hen over det oprørte Hav).

En Skare onde Natur-Aander mødes, de leire sig i Sandet.

Den Første.
Her November har sin Throne,
Hvilken deilig Dandseplads!
Storm og Hav er vort Orchester.
Hør dog, hvilket lystigt Stykke!
Mine Been er Hvirvel-Vinde;
Kom, imens de Andre sladdre
Om de natlige Bedrifter.

Den Anden.
Dette Sted især jeg ynder.
Om en herlig Spas det minder!
See I [rettet fra: i] der det løse Qviksand?
Det er flere Aar nu siden,
Men som nu, just i November,
Kom en lystig Brudeskare;
Klarinet og Violiner
Klang heel lysteligt fra Vognen,
Hvor med Silkebaand om [rettet fra: um] Haaret,
Bruden sad, saa ung og deilig.
Med en Taage jeg dem blænded',
I et Nu de svandt i Sandet.

Den Tredie.
Det er kun i forgaars siden,
Jeg mit Eventyr har prøvet.
Nyligt havde Stormen lagt sig,
Havet hvilte som et Klæde.
Stille laae et Vrag derude,
Alt dets Mandskab længst var borte,
Kun en Mand og tvende Qvinder
Endnu stode der forladte,
Men der laae en Baad paa Dækket,
Stor og bred; de der dem satte.
Manden bortskar [rettet fra: bortskjar] alle Touge,
Undersøgte Alting nøie,
Haabede, naar Vraget sank,
Baaden, frelst fra Dybets Hvirvler,
Let dem bar paa Havets Flade.*
Men eet Toug sig for ham skjulte,
Livet hang ved dette ene.

[...] Read more

poem by Hans Christian Andersen
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Januar

'- Nyfødt Aaret er vorden!
Stolt, med den flagrende Lok, i Storm og i Blæst,
Paa sin vingede Hest
Jager Tiden hen over Jorden - !'
*
Vandringsmanden.
Et Hjem for Samojed og Pescheræ
Viser den frosne Jord med sin Snee;
Men her, som i et Feeland at see,
Staaer det riimfrosne Træ
Og løfter mod Solen sin glimrende Green
Mod en Luft, som Italiens, sortblaa, men reen.
Det er deiligt at see,
Hvor over den hvide Snee
Den sorte Rovfugl svæver,
Og Hytterne hist, hvor Røgen sig hæver,
Hvor Pigen strøer Korn af sin lille Kurv
For den qviddrende Spurv.
- Ja, nyfødt Aaret er vorden!
Stolt med den flagrende Lok, i Storm og i Blæst,
Paa sin vingede Hest
Jager Tiden hen over Jorden,
Trykker med faderlig Arm
Sine Børn, de kommende Aar, til sin Barm.
Er Maanen i Næ tolv Gange vorden,
Svæver et Barn fra hans Bryst til Jorden,
Hvorfra den ventende Broder vil stige
Igjen til sit evige Rige.
Thi Himmelens mægtige Blaa er det Hav,
Hvor Aaret forsvinder,
Hvorfra det nye oprinder
For vor Jord, denne altid blomstrende Grav.
Tiden
(paa sin vingede Hest).
Min Jord, Du er saa skjøn at see
I Sommer-Grønt, i Vinter-Snee!
Din Kamp, Din Færdsel, Død og Liv,
Alt peger til et Guddoms-Bliv!

Du Hvilepunkt for Tanken gav;
Først saae jeg kun et Taage-Hav,
Det maatte snart for Lyset døe,
Og Du fremstod, men alt var Sø!
Da voxte frem den første Ø,
Med Skov og Frugt og Blomster smaae,
Og Mennesket sin Skaber saae.

Hvert Aar et Barn jeg sendte ned,
Og gjennem Had og Kjærlighed
Det atter sig til Himlen svang,

[...] Read more

poem by Hans Christian Andersen
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John Smith

To-day I strayed in Charing Cross as wretched as could be
With thinking of my home and friends across the tumbling sea;
There was no water in my eyes, but my spirits were depressed
And my heart lay like a sodden, soggy doughnut in my breast.
This way and that streamed multitudes, that gayly passed me by--
Not one in all the crowd knew me and not a one knew I!
'Oh, for a touch of home!' I sighed; 'oh, for a friendly face!
Oh, for a hearty handclasp in this teeming desert place!'
And so, soliloquizing as a homesick creature will,
Incontinent, I wandered down the noisy, bustling hill
And drifted, automatic-like and vaguely, into Lowe's,
Where Fortune had in store a panacea for my woes.
The register was open, and there dawned upon my sight
A name that filled and thrilled me with a cyclone of delight--
The name that I shall venerate unto my dying day--
The proud, immortal signature: 'John Smith, U.S.A.'

Wildly I clutched the register and brooded on that name--
I knew John Smith, yet could not well identify the same.
I knew him North, I knew him South, I knew him East and West--
I knew him all so well I knew not which I knew the best.
His eyes, I recollect, were gray, and black, and brown, and blue,
And, when he was not bald, his hair was of chameleon hue;
Lean, fat, tall, short, rich, poor, grave, gay, a blonde and a brunette--
Aha, amid this London fog, John Smith, I see you yet;
I see you yet, and yet the sight is all so blurred I seem
To see you in composite, or as in a waking dream,
Which are you, John? I'd like to know, that I might weave a rhyme
Appropriate to your character, your politics and clime;
So tell me, were you 'raised' or 'reared'--your pedigree confess
In some such treacherous ism as 'I reckon' or 'I guess';
Let fall your tell-tale dialect, that instantly I may
Identify my countryman, 'John Smith, U.S.A.'

It's like as not you are the John that lived a spell ago
Down East, where codfish, beans 'nd bona-fide school-marms grow;
Where the dear old homestead nestles like among the Hampshire hills
And where the robin hops about the cherry boughs and trills;
Where Hubbard squash 'nd huckleberries grow to powerful size,
And everything is orthodox from preachers down to pies;
Where the red-wing blackbirds swing 'nd call beside the pickril pond,
And the crows air cawin' in the pines uv the pasture lot beyond;
Where folks complain uv bein' poor, because their money's lent
Out West on farms 'nd railroads at the rate uv ten per cent;
Where we ust to spark the Baker girls a-comin' home from choir,
Or a-settin' namin' apples round the roarin' kitchen fire:
Where we had to go to meetin' at least three times a week,
And our mothers learnt us good religious Dr. Watts to speak,
And where our grandmas sleep their sleep--God rest their souls, I say!
And God bless yours, ef you're that John, 'John Smith, U.S.A.'

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poem by Eugene Field
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Den fremmede Fugl

Seer Du Huset med de røde Bjelker i den hvide Muur?
Rundt om kneise stolte Bøge i den store frie Natur.
Seer Du hist, bag Brombærhækken, Drengen med det aabne Blik?
Ene tumler han sig, lystig efter muntre Drenge-Skik;
Men nu standser han og lytter, thi høit oppe paa en Green,
Sidder der en Fugl og synger, o en lille, deilig een!
Ret som Guld og skjønne Perler skinner Hoved jo og Krop,
Og den selv er ikke større end en fyldig Rosenknop.
Drengen og den lille Sanger blive snart fortrolig her,
Og de skiftes til at synge i det røde Aftenskjær.
Men i Drengens Hoved spøger mange rare Eventyr,
Dem han alle vil fortælle for det lille smukke Dyr;
Men see, Fuglen kan dem alle, selv han saae det paa sin Flugt,
Ingen kan som han fortælle, nei, det er dog alt for smukt!
Men det er ei nok med dette, den kan ogsaa hexe lidt;
Tusind Mile kan den flyve, mens den siger „qvirrevit!"
See den flyver, og den kommer, Drengen er saa sjæleglad,
Sjældne Frøkorn bringer Fuglen, indsvøbt i et Rosenblad.
I hvert Frø er skjulte Kræfter, knap er et i Jorden lagt,
Før et Trylleslot der voxer i sin hele, stolte Pragt.
Taget er af Morgenrøde, Søilerne er Bjergets Snee,
Og igjennem Slots-Portalet kan man ind i Himlen see!
Men et andet Frøkorn svulmer til en deilig Sommersky,
Og med Dreng og Fugl den svæver over Skov og Mark og By,
Seiler ind i Aftensolen, o den er saa rød og stor!
Stiger derpaa ind i Himlen, hvor den gode Gud jo boer;
Seer de mange, mange Stjerner, der som hvide Blomster staae,
Jesubarnet og Guds Engle med de store Vinger paa.
Skyen daler atter med dem, bringer dem til Skovens Krat,
Hvor de smukke Alfer lege i den lyse Sommer-Nat,
Og hvor Aanden af hvert Blomster, der henvisner Aar for Aar,
Atter nu i Midnats-Timen duftende for Øiet staaer.
Fra et Frøkorn stiger hurtigt frem en Palme, høi og stor,
Drengen der med Fuglen sidder, Træet meer og mere groer;
Høit det voxer over Skoven, over Skyen mod sin Gud,
Breder stolt sin grønne Krone over hele Jorden ud.
Fjerne Lande, fjerne Have, seer han dybt dernede staae,
Dog imellem Jord og Himmel underlig han længes maae.
Over Skyen, høit deroppe, Hjertet vil mod Jorden ned,
Og fra Jorden vil det atter søge hist — hvad det ei veed.
Saadan svinder Aar og Dage, Barnets søde Sorg og Lyst,
Øiet bliver da til Flamme, thi det brænder i hans Bryst.
Fuglen flyver, Fuglen kommer, og den flyver bort igjen;
See, da sidder han ved Stranden, stirrer over Fladen hen;
Øiet seer kun Hav og Himmel; Alt er det umaalte Blaae;
Ingen Ø og ingen Skyer, for det trætte Øie staae.
Men see hist, en sneehvid Svane nærmer sig mod Kysten her,
Og sin kjære Fugl han kjender i den stolte Svane der.
See, en Blomsterbaad den trækker, bunden ved sit Vinge-Par!
Og en underdeilig Pige den jo med i Baaden har.

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poem by Hans Christian Andersen
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Marts

'Livets Frihed, Jordens Baand,
Kamp imellem Form og Aand.'

*
Mægtigt Vaarens Pulse banke,
Dog er det saa kold en Tid;
See, imellem Form og Tanke
Viser sig den store Strid;
Aaret giver i det Mindre,
Hvad i Secler Verden gav,
Hvad du seer, hvor Stjerner tindre,
Og i Oldtids sjunkne Grav,
Livets Frihed, Jordens Baand,
Kamp imellem Form og Aand.
*
Jorden.
Ton høit i Tidens Kamp mit stolte Qvad!
En Verden være mig mit Nodeblad,
Urbjergene, som dybt grundfæsted' staae,
De er' de sorte Streger, sat' derpaa,

Og hver Forstening, hvert et Lag deri,
Er Noden til den stolte Melodie.
Hvert Mammuthsdyr, hver Blomst i Stenen bundet
Os synger om et Liv, som er forsvundet,
Om Tidens Stræben, Tidens snevre Baand,
Om Kampen mellem Formerne og Aand.

Hvo sprængte Himlen med sit Stjernetal,
Den vidtudstrakte Ymers Pandeskal,
Den høie Himmelhvælving i sin Skranke -
Hvo, uden Aanden med sin Flamme-Tanke?
Copernikus gav Jorden Liv og Gang,
Stolt alle Sphærerne i Rummet sang,
De gamle Former bort som Avner fløi,
Og Verden blev saa navnløs stor og høi.

Den vilde Søgang bryder stolt hver Skranke,
Og Klippen brister, som den skjøre Planke,
Sø bliver Land og Landet atter Sø,
Men dobbelt skjøn sig reiser Ø ved Ø,
Det indre Liv sig lader ei betvinge.
See! Skovene fra Jordens Muld fremspringe,
Fixstjernens Skjær naaer ned til Jordens Bugt,
Skjøndt Secler svinde i dens snare Flugt,
Men Rummet ei kan Kraftens Straale dæmpe,
Forgjæves Titans Børn mod Himlen kjæmpe.
Brænd Byer af, riv ned med Tiger-Kloe,
Strøe Salt i Gruset, at ei Græs skal groe! -
Dog reiser Aanden atter Steen ved Steen,

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poem by Hans Christian Andersen
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VI. Giuseppe Caponsacchi

Answer you, Sirs? Do I understand aright?
Have patience! In this sudden smoke from hell,—
So things disguise themselves,—I cannot see
My own hand held thus broad before my face
And know it again. Answer you? Then that means
Tell over twice what I, the first time, told
Six months ago: 't was here, I do believe,
Fronting you same three in this very room,
I stood and told you: yet now no one laughs,
Who then … nay, dear my lords, but laugh you did,
As good as laugh, what in a judge we style
Laughter—no levity, nothing indecorous, lords!
Only,—I think I apprehend the mood:
There was the blameless shrug, permissible smirk,
The pen's pretence at play with the pursed mouth,
The titter stifled in the hollow palm
Which rubbed the eyebrow and caressed the nose,
When I first told my tale: they meant, you know,
"The sly one, all this we are bound believe!
"Well, he can say no other than what he says.
"We have been young, too,—come, there's greater guilt!
"Let him but decently disembroil himself,
"Scramble from out the scrape nor move the mud,—
"We solid ones may risk a finger-stretch!
And now you sit as grave, stare as aghast
As if I were a phantom: now 't is—"Friend,
"Collect yourself!"—no laughing matter more—
"Counsel the Court in this extremity,
"Tell us again!"—tell that, for telling which,
I got the jocular piece of punishment,
Was sent to lounge a little in the place
Whence now of a sudden here you summon me
To take the intelligence from just—your lips!
You, Judge Tommati, who then tittered most,—
That she I helped eight months since to escape
Her husband, was retaken by the same,
Three days ago, if I have seized your sense,—
(I being disallowed to interfere,
Meddle or make in a matter none of mine,
For you and law were guardians quite enough
O' the innocent, without a pert priest's help)—
And that he has butchered her accordingly,
As she foretold and as myself believed,—
And, so foretelling and believing so,
We were punished, both of us, the merry way:
Therefore, tell once again the tale! For what?
Pompilia is only dying while I speak!
Why does the mirth hang fire and miss the smile?
My masters, there's an old book, you should con
For strange adventures, applicable yet,

[...] Read more

poem by Robert Browning from The Ring and the Book
Added by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Bruden i Rørvig Kirke

Klart skinner Maanen paa den nøgne Kyst.
I Præstegaarden er nu Alt saa tyst;
Dog, tyst og stille er det stedse der,
Thi i den øde Egn den ligger her
Paa Tangen, som gaaer langt hist ud i Havet,
Hvor Kirken staaer i Sandflugt halv begravet.
Hvem nærmer sig? — Med stærke Skridt de gaae.
Det er en Skare Mænd med Kapper paa!
Men under Kappen blinker Staalet frem;
Den gamle Præst de gjæste i hans Hjem. -
Alt ryster Porten ved de stærke Slag;
Selv Spurven vækkes under Husets Tag
Og flagrer, bange, fra sin lille Rede,
Til Lyngen paa den sorte Hede.

II
Med Fader-Blik og sølvgraat Haar,
Den gamle Præst nu hos dem staaer;
Men taus som Aander er hver Mand;
De pege mod den nøgne Strand,
Hvor Kirken hæver sin røde Muur,
I den døde Natur.
Han kjender i dem et fremmed Folk;
De vise ham Guld og den skarpe Dolk,
De bede og true — nu drage de bort,
Og Præsten følger i Kjortel sort.
Fast holder han Bibelen under sin Arm,
Men Hjertet banker i Oldingens Barm;
De bane sig Vei gjennem Sandet,
Til Kirken ved Vandet.

III
Rundtom er alt saa øde, man seer kun den nøgne Strand,
Hvor Tangen flagrer i Vinden, henad det hvide Sand.
Saa underligt Bølgerne synge og over Dybet gaae,
De svulme, som Hjertet der længes, derfor de briste maae.
I Maanskinnet stiger Skummet, det hvide Bølge-Liig;
Den hvidgraa Maage flygter med bange, hæse Skrig,
Og slaaer mod Kirke-Ruden sit stærke Vinge-Par.
See Kirken den er oplyst, som aldrig før den var,
Og huult og dæmpet stiger derinde Sangen frem,
Det er, som Tone-Bølgen kom fra de Dødes Hjem.

IV
Af fremmede Mænd er hele Kirken fuld,
De straale sært i Vaaben og i Guld;
Kun tyndt er Skjægget om den brune Kind,
De hylle sig i deres Kapper ind;
Med Raslen Sværdene mod Gulvet slaae;
Man seer en Qvinde ene blandt dem staae,

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poem by Hans Christian Andersen
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Dykker-Klokken

Det var i Aaret — — ak! nu kan jeg Aaret ikke huske;
Men Maanen skinnede ret smukt paa Træer og paa Buske.
Vor Jord er intet Paradiis; som Praas tidt Lykken lyser;
Om Sommeren man har for hedt, om Vinteren man fryser.
At melde i en Elegie, hvor tidt vi her maae græde,
Det nytter jo til ingen Ting, kan ei en Christen glæde.
Det var i Aaret, som De veed, jeg ei kan rigtig huske,
Jeg gik om Aftenen en Tour imellem Krat og Buske;
Det hele Liv stod klart for mig, men jeg var ei fornøiet;
Dog muligt var det Nordens Vind, som fik mig Vand i Øiet.
En Tanke gik, en anden kom, og, for mig kort at fatte,
Tilsidst jeg paa en Kampesteen mig tæt ved Havet satte.
I Ilden er der lidt for hedt, paa Jord, som sagt, man fryser,
Og stige i en Luft-Ballon — — nei! nei! mit Hjerte gyser;
Dog muligt at paa Havets Bund i sikkre Dykker-Klokker
Sit Liv man paa Cothurner gaaer, og ei, som her, paa Sokker.
Saa tænkte jeg, og Reisen blev til næste Dag belavet,
(I Dykker-Klokker, som man veed, kan vandres gjennem Havet).
— Af klart Krystal var Klokken støbt, de Svende frem den trække,
Tilskuere paa Kysten stod, en lang, en broget Række;
Snart var det Hele bragt i Stand, jeg sad saa luunt derinde,
Nu gleed da Snoren, Tridsen peeb, jeg blev saa sær i Sinde, -
For Øiet var det sort, som Nat, og Luften pressed' saare,
Den trykkede som Hjertets Sorg, der lettes ei ved Taare. -
Det var, som Stormens Orgel slog — jeg kan det aldrig glemme!
Som naar i Ørknen en Orkan med Rovdyr blander Stemme.
— Men snart jeg blev til Tingen vant, og dette saae jeg gjerne;
Høit over mig var ravne-sort, det bruste i det Fjerne.
Der Solen stod saa rød og stor, men ei med mindste Straale,
Saa at man uden sværtet Glas „ihr' Hoheit" kunde taale.
Mig syntes Stjerne-Himlen hist i sin Studenter-Kjole
Lig Asken af et brændt Papir, hvor Smaa-Børn gaae af Skole.
— Rundt om mig klarede det op, jeg hørte Fiske bande,
Hver Gang de paa min Klokke løb og stødte deres Pande.
Men Skjæbnen, ak! det slemme Skarn, misundte mig min Glæde,
Og som en Sværd-Fisk var hun nu ved Klokkens Snoer tilstæde,
Og hurtigt gik det: „klip! klip! klip!" rask skar hun Snoren over;
Der sad jeg i min Klokke net, dybt under Havets Vover.
Først blev jeg hed, saa blev jeg kold, saa lidt af begge Dele,
Jeg trøsted' mig; Du kan kun døe, se det er her det Hele.
Men Klokken sank dog ei endnu, den drev paa Havets Strømme,
Jeg lukkede mit Øie til, og lod saa Klokken svømme.
Den foer, ret som med Extra-Post, vist sine tyve Mile,
„Und immer weiter, hop! hop! hop!" foruden Rast og Hvile.
Een Time gik, der gik vel tre, men Døden kom dog ikke,
Saa blev jeg af den Venten kjed, og aabned mine Blikke.
Ak Herreje! ak Herreje! Hvad saae jeg dog paa Bunden!
Den første halve Time jeg som slagen var paa Munden. -
Dybt under mig var Bjerg og Dal med Skove samt med Byer,
Jeg Damer saae spadsere der med store Paraplyer. -

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poem by Hans Christian Andersen
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De Camp On De

You 'member de ole log-camp, Johnnie, up on de Cheval Gris,
W'ere we work so hard all winter, long ago you an' me?
Dere was fourteen man on de gang, den, all from our own paroisse,
An' only wan lef' dem feller is ourse'f an' Pierre Laframboise.

But Pierre can't see on de eye, Johnnie, I t'ink it's no good at all!
An' it wasn't for not'ing, you're gettin' rheumateez on de leg las' fall!
I t'ink it's no use waitin', for neider can come wit' me,
So alone I mak' leetle visit dat camp on de Cheval Gris.

An' if only you see it, Johnnie, an' change dere was all aroun',
Ev'ryt'ing gone but de timber an' dat is all fallin' down;
No sign of portage by de reever w'ere man dey was place canoe,
W'y, Johnnie, I'm cry lak de bebé, an' I'm glad you don't come, mon vieux!

But strange t'ing's happen me dere, Johnnie, mebbe I go asleep,
As I lissen de song of de rapide, as pas' de Longue Soo she sweep,
Ma head she go biz-z-z lak de sawmeel, I don't know w'at's wrong wit' me,
But firs' t'ing I don't know not'ing, an' den w'at you t'ink I see?

Yourse'f an' res' of de boy, Johnnie, by light of de coal oil lamp,
An' you're singin' an' tolin' story, sittin' aroun' de camp,
We hear de win' on de chimley, an' we know it was beeg, beeg storm,
But ole box stove she is roarin', an' camp's feelin' nice an' warm.

I t'ink you're on boar' of de raf', Johnnie, near head of Riviere du Loup,
W'en LeRoy an' young Patsy Kelly get drown comin' down de Soo,
Wall! I see me dem very same feller, jus' lak you see me to-day,
Playin' dat game dey call checker, de game dey was play alway!

An' Louis Charette asleep, Johnnie, wit' hees back up agen de wall,
Makin' soche noise wit' hees nose, dat you t'ink it was moose on de fall,
I s'pose he's de mos' fattes' man dere 'cept mebbe Bateese La Rue,
But if I mak fonne on poor Louis, I know he was good boy too!

W'at you do over dere on your bunk, Johnnie, lightin' dem allumettes,
Are you shame 'cos de girl she write you, is dat de las' wan you get?
It's fonny you can't do widout it ev'ry tam you was goin' bed,
W'y readin' dat letter so offen, you mus have it all on de head!

Dat's de very sam' letter, Johnnie, was comin' t'ree mont' ago,
I t'ink I know somet'ing about it, 'cos I fin' it wan day on de snow.
An' I see on de foot dat letter, Philomene she is do lak dis: * * *
I'm not very moche on de school, me, but I t'ink dat was mean de kiss.

Wall! nobody's kickin' de row, Johnnie, an' if allumettes' fini,
Put Philomene off on your pocket, an' sing leetle song wit' me;
For don't matter de hard you be workin' toujours you're un bon garçon,
An' nobody sing lak our Johnnie, Kebeck to de Mattawa!

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poem by William Henry Drummond
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Grandfather Bridgeman

I

'Heigh, boys!' cried Grandfather Bridgeman, 'it's time before dinner to-day.'
He lifted the crumpled letter, and thumped a surprising 'Hurrah!'
Up jumped all the echoing young ones, but John, with the starch in his throat,
Said, 'Father, before we make noises, let's see the contents of the note.'
The old man glared at him harshly, and twinkling made answer: 'Too bad!
John Bridgeman, I'm always the whisky, and you are the water, my lad!'

II

But soon it was known thro' the house, and the house ran over for joy,
That news, good news, great marvels, had come from the soldier boy;
Young Tom, the luckless scapegrace, offshoot of Methodist John;
His grandfather's evening tale, whom the old man hailed as his son.
And the old man's shout of pride was a shout of his victory, too;
For he called his affection a method: the neighbours' opinions he knew.

III

Meantime, from the morning table removing the stout breakfast cheer,
The drink of the three generations, the milk, the tea, and the beer
(Alone in its generous reading of pints stood the Grandfather's jug),
The women for sight of the missive came pressing to coax and to hug.
He scattered them quick, with a buss and a smack; thereupon he began
Diversions with John's little Sarah: on Sunday, the naughty old man!

IV

Then messengers sped to the maltster, the auctioneer, miller, and all
The seven sons of the farmer who housed in the range of his call.
Likewise the married daughters, three plentiful ladies, prime cooks,
Who bowed to him while they condemned, in meek hope to stand high in his books.
'John's wife is a fool at a pudding,' they said, and the light carts up hill
Went merrily, flouting the Sabbath: for puddings well made mend a will.

V

The day was a van-bird of summer: the robin still piped, but the blue,
As a warm and dreamy palace with voices of larks ringing thro',
Looked down as if wistfully eyeing the blossoms that fell from its lap:
A day to sweeten the juices: a day to quicken the sap.
All round the shadowy orchard sloped meadows in gold, and the dear
Shy violets breathed their hearts out: the maiden breath of the year!

VI

Full time there was before dinner to bring fifteen of his blood,
To sit at the old man's table: they found that the dinner was good.
But who was she by the lilacs and pouring laburnums concealed,

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poem by George Meredith
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IV. Tertium Quid

True, Excellency—as his Highness says,
Though she's not dead yet, she's as good as stretched
Symmetrical beside the other two;
Though he's not judged yet, he's the same as judged,
So do the facts abound and superabound:
And nothing hinders that we lift the case
Out of the shade into the shine, allow
Qualified persons to pronounce at last,
Nay, edge in an authoritative word
Between this rabble's-brabble of dolts and fools
Who make up reasonless unreasoning Rome.
"Now for the Trial!" they roar: "the Trial to test
"The truth, weigh husband and weigh wife alike
"I' the scales of law, make one scale kick the beam!"
Law's a machine from which, to please the mob,
Truth the divinity must needs descend
And clear things at the play's fifth act—aha!
Hammer into their noddles who was who
And what was what. I tell the simpletons
"Could law be competent to such a feat
"'T were done already: what begins next week
"Is end o' the Trial, last link of a chain
"Whereof the first was forged three years ago
"When law addressed herself to set wrong right,
"And proved so slow in taking the first step
"That ever some new grievance,—tort, retort,
"On one or the other side,—o'ertook i' the game,
"Retarded sentence, till this deed of death
"Is thrown in, as it were, last bale to boat
"Crammed to the edge with cargo—or passengers?
"'Trecentos inseris: ohe, jam satis est!
"'Huc appelle!'—passengers, the word must be."
Long since, the boat was loaded to my eyes.
To hear the rabble and brabble, you'd call the case
Fused and confused past human finding out.
One calls the square round, t' other the round square—
And pardonably in that first surprise
O' the blood that fell and splashed the diagram:
But now we've used our eyes to the violent hue
Can't we look through the crimson and trace lines?
It makes a man despair of history,
Eusebius and the established fact—fig's end!
Oh, give the fools their Trial, rattle away
With the leash of lawyers, two on either side—
One barks, one bites,—Masters Arcangeli
And Spreti,—that's the husband's ultimate hope
Against the Fisc and the other kind of Fisc,
Bound to do barking for the wife: bow—wow!
Why, Excellency, we and his Highness here
Would settle the matter as sufficiently

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poem by Robert Browning from The Ring and the Book
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When Albani Sang

Was workin' away on de farm dere, wan
morning not long ago,
Feexin' de fence for winter--'cos dat's
w'ere we got de snow!
W'en Jeremie Plouffe, ma neighbor, come
over an' spik wit' me,
'Antoine, you will come on de city,
for hear Ma-dam All-ba-nee?'

'W'at you mean?' I was sayin' right off, me,
'Some woman was mak' de speech,
Or girl on de Hooraw Circus, doin' high
kick an' screech?'
'Non--non,' he is spikin'--'Excuse me,
dat's be Ma-dam All-ba-nee
Was leevin' down here on de contree, two
mile 'noder side Chambly.

'She's jus' comin' over from Englan', on
steamboat arrive Kebeck,
Singin' on Lunnon an' Paree, an' havin'
beeg tam, I expec',
But no matter de moche she enjoy it, for
travel all roun' de worl',
Somet'ing on de heart bring her back here,
for she was de Chambly girl.

'She never do not'ing but singin' an' makin'
de beeg grande tour
An' travel on summer an' winter, so mus' be
de firs' class for sure!
Ev'ryboddy I'm t'inkin' was know her, an' I
also hear 'noder t'ing,
She's frien' on La Reine Victoria an' show
her de way to sing!'

'Wall,' I say, 'you're sure she is Chambly,
w'at you call Ma-dam All-ba-nee?
Don't know me dat nam' on de Canton--I hope
you're not fool wit' me?'
An' he say, 'Lajeunesse, dey was call her,
before she is come mariée,
But she's takin' de nam' of her husban'--I
s'pose dat's de only way.'

'C'est bon, mon ami,' I was say me, 'If I get
t'roo de fence nex' day
An' she don't want too moche on de monee den
mebbe I see her play.'
So I finish dat job on to-morrow, Jeremie he

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poem by William Henry Drummond
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The Log Jam

1 Dere 'a s beeg jam up de reever, w'ere rapide is runnin' fas',
2 An' de log we cut las' winter is takin' it all de room;
3 So boss of de gang is swearin', for not'ing at all can pass
4 An' float away down de current till somebody break de boom.

5 'Here 's for de man will tak' de job, holiday for a week
6 Extra monee w'en pay day come, an' ten dollar suit of clothes.
7 'T is n't so hard work run de log, if only you do it quick--
8 W'ere 's de man of de gang den is ready to say, ` Here goes?''

9 Dere was de job for a feller, handy an' young an' smart,
10 Willin' to tak' hees chances, willin' to risk hees life.
11 'Cos many a t'ing is safer, dan tryin' de boom to start,
12 For if de log wance ketch you, dey 're cuttin' you lak a knife.

13 Aleck Lachance he lissen, an' answer heem right away
14 'Marie Louise dat 's leevin' off on de shore close by
15 She 's sayin' de word was mak' me mos' happies' man to-day
16 An' if you ax de reason I 'm ready to go, dat 's w'y.'

17 Pierre Delorme he 's spikin' den, an' O! but he 's lookin' glad.
18 'Dis morning de sam' girl tole me, she mus' say to me, ` Good-bye Pierre.'
19 So no wan can stop me goin', for I feel I was comin' mad
20 An' wedder I see to-morrow, dat 's not'ing, for I don't care.'

21 Aleck Lachance was steady, he 's bully boy all aroun',
22 Alway sendin' de monee to hees moder away below,
23 Now an' den savin' a leetle for buyin' de house an' groun',
24 An' never done t'inkin', t'inkin' of Marie Louise Lebeau.

25 Pierre was a half-breed feller, we call heem de grand Nor' Wes'--
26 Dat is de place he 's leevin' w'en he work for de Compagnie,
27 Dey say he 's marry de squaw dere, never min' about all de res'--
28 An' affer he get hees monee, he 's de boy for de jamboree!

29 Ev'ry wan start off cheerin' w'en dey pass on de log out dere
30 Jompin' about lak monkey, Aleck an' Pierre Delorme.
31 Workin' de sam' as twenty, an' runnin' off ev'ryw'ere,
32 An' busy on all de places, lak beaver before de storm.

33 Den we hear some wan shoutin', an' dere was dat crazy girl,
34 Marie Louise, on de hillside, cryin' an' raisin' row.
35 Could n't do not'ing worser! mos' foolish t'ing on de worl'
36 For Pierre Delorme an' Aleck was n't workin' upon de scow.

37 Bote of dem turn aroun' dere w'en girl is commencin' cry,
38 Lak woman I wance remember, got los' on de bush t'ree day,
39 'Look how de log is movin'! I 'm seein' it wit' ma eye,
40 Come back out of all dem danger!' an' den she was faint away.

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poem by William Henry Drummond
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XI. Guido

You are the Cardinal Acciaiuoli, and you,
Abate Panciatichi—two good Tuscan names:
Acciaiuoli—ah, your ancestor it was
Built the huge battlemented convent-block
Over the little forky flashing Greve
That takes the quick turn at the foot o' the hill
Just as one first sees Florence: oh those days!
'T is Ema, though, the other rivulet,
The one-arched brown brick bridge yawns over,—yes,
Gallop and go five minutes, and you gain
The Roman Gate from where the Ema's bridged:
Kingfishers fly there: how I see the bend
O'erturreted by Certosa which he built,
That Senescal (we styled him) of your House!
I do adjure you, help me, Sirs! My blood
Comes from as far a source: ought it to end
This way, by leakage through their scaffold-planks
Into Rome's sink where her red refuse runs?
Sirs, I beseech you by blood-sympathy,
If there be any vile experiment
In the air,—if this your visit simply prove,
When all's done, just a well-intentioned trick,
That tries for truth truer than truth itself,
By startling up a man, ere break of day,
To tell him he must die at sunset,—pshaw!
That man's a Franceschini; feel his pulse,
Laugh at your folly, and let's all go sleep!
You have my last word,—innocent am I
As Innocent my Pope and murderer,
Innocent as a babe, as Mary's own,
As Mary's self,—I said, say and repeat,—
And why, then, should I die twelve hours hence? I—
Whom, not twelve hours ago, the gaoler bade
Turn to my straw-truss, settle and sleep sound
That I might wake the sooner, promptlier pay
His due of meat-and-drink-indulgence, cross
His palm with fee of the good-hand, beside,
As gallants use who go at large again!
For why? All honest Rome approved my part;
Whoever owned wife, sister, daughter,—nay,
Mistress,—had any shadow of any right
That looks like right, and, all the more resolved,
Held it with tooth and nail,—these manly men
Approved! I being for Rome, Rome was for me.
Then, there's the point reserved, the subterfuge
My lawyers held by, kept for last resource,
Firm should all else,—the impossible fancy!—fail,
And sneaking burgess-spirit win the day.
The knaves! One plea at least would hold,—they laughed,—
One grappling-iron scratch the bottom-rock

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poem by Robert Browning from The Ring and the Book
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Fourth Book

THEY met still sooner. 'Twas a year from thence
When Lucy Gresham, the sick semptress girl,
Who sewed by Marian's chair so still and quick,
And leant her head upon the back to cough
More freely when, the mistress turning round,
The others took occasion to laugh out,–
Gave up a last. Among the workers, spoke
A bold girl with black eyebrows and red lips,–
'You know the news? Who's dying, do you think?
Our Lucy Gresham. I expected it
As little as Nell Hart's wedding. Blush not, Nell,
Thy curls be red enough without thy cheeks;
And, some day, there'll be found a man to dote
On red curls.–Lucy Gresham swooned last night,
Dropped sudden in the street while going home;
And now the baker says, who took her up
And laid her by her grandmother in bed,
He'll give her a week to die in. Pass the silk.
Let's hope he gave her a loaf too, within reach,
For otherwise they'll starve before they die,
That funny pair of bedfellows! Miss Bell,
I'll thank you for the scissors. The old crone
Is paralytic–that's the reason why
Our Lucy's thread went faster than her breath,
Which went too quick, we all know. Marian Erle!
Why, Marian Erle, you're not the fool to cry?
Your tears spoil Lady Waldemar's new dress,
You piece of pity!'
Marian rose up straight,
And, breaking through the talk and through the work,
Went outward, in the face of their surprise,
To Lucy's home, to nurse her back to life
Or down to death. She knew by such an act,
All place and grace were forfeit in the house,
Whose mistress would supply the missing hand
With necessary, not inhuman haste,
And take no blame. But pity, too, had dues:
She could not leave a solitary soul
To founder in the dark, while she sate still
And lavished stitches on a lady's hem
As if no other work were paramount.
'Why, God,' thought Marian, 'has a missing hand
This moment; Lucy wants a drink, perhaps.
Let others miss me! never miss me, God!'

So Marian sat by Lucy's bed, content
With duty, and was strong, for recompense,
To hold the lamp of human love arm-high
To catch the death-strained eyes and comfort them,
Until the angels, on the luminous side

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poem by Elizabeth Barrett Browning from Aurora Leigh (1856)
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V. Count Guido Franceschini

Thanks, Sir, but, should it please the reverend Court,
I feel I can stand somehow, half sit down
Without help, make shift to even speak, you see,
Fortified by the sip of … why, 't is wine,
Velletri,—and not vinegar and gall,
So changed and good the times grow! Thanks, kind Sir!
Oh, but one sip's enough! I want my head
To save my neck, there's work awaits me still.
How cautious and considerate … aie, aie, aie,
Nor your fault, sweet Sir! Come, you take to heart
An ordinary matter. Law is law.
Noblemen were exempt, the vulgar thought,
From racking; but, since law thinks otherwise,
I have been put to the rack: all's over now,
And neither wrist—what men style, out of joint:
If any harm be, 't is the shoulder-blade,
The left one, that seems wrong i' the socket,—Sirs,
Much could not happen, I was quick to faint,
Being past my prime of life, and out of health.
In short, I thank you,—yes, and mean the word.
Needs must the Court be slow to understand
How this quite novel form of taking pain,
This getting tortured merely in the flesh,
Amounts to almost an agreeable change
In my case, me fastidious, plied too much
With opposite treatment, used (forgive the joke)
To the rasp-tooth toying with this brain of mine,
And, in and out my heart, the play o' the probe.
Four years have I been operated on
I' the soul, do you see—its tense or tremulous part—
My self-respect, my care for a good name,
Pride in an old one, love of kindred—just
A mother, brothers, sisters, and the like,
That looked up to my face when days were dim,
And fancied they found light there—no one spot,
Foppishly sensitive, but has paid its pang.
That, and not this you now oblige me with,
That was the Vigil-torment, if you please!
The poor old noble House that drew the rags
O' the Franceschini's once superb array
Close round her, hoped to slink unchallenged by,—
Pluck off these! Turn the drapery inside out
And teach the tittering town how scarlet wears!
Show men the lucklessness, the improvidence
Of the easy-natured Count before this Count,
The father I have some slight feeling for,
Who let the world slide, nor foresaw that friends
Then proud to cap and kiss their patron's shoe,
Would, when the purse he left held spider-webs,
Properly push his child to wall one day!

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poem by Robert Browning from The Ring and the Book
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M'Sieu Smit

THE ADVENTURES OF AN ENGLISHMAN IN THE CANADIAN WOODS.

Wan morning de walkim boss say 'Damase,
I t'ink you're good man on canoe d'ecorce,
So I'll ax you go wit' your frien' Philéas
An' meet M'sieu' Smit' on Chenail W'ite Horse.

'He'll have I am sure de grosse baggage--
Mebbe some valise--mebbe six or t'ree--
But if she's too moche for de longue portage
'Poleon he will tak' 'em wit' mail buggee.'

W'en we reach Chenail, plaintee peep be dere,
An' wan frien' of me, call Placide Chretien,
'Splain all dat w'en he say man from Angleterre
Was spik heem de crowd on de 'Parisien.'

Fonny way dat Englishman he'll be dress,
Leetle pant my dear frien' jus' come on knee,
Wit' coat dat's no coat at all--only ves'
An' hat--de more stranger I never see!

Wall! dere he sit on de en' some log
An' swear heem in English purty loud
Den talk Français, w'ile hees chien boule dog
Go smellim an' smellim aroun' de crowd.

I spik im 'Bonjour, M'sieu' Smit', Bonjour,
I hope dat yourse'f and famille she's well?'
M'sieu Smit' he is also say 'Bonjour,'
An' call off hees dog dat's commence for smell.

I tell heem my name dat's Damase Labrie
I am come wit' Philéas for mak' de trip,
An' he say I'm de firs' man he never see
Spik English encore since he lef' de ship.

He is also ax it to me 'Damase,
De peep she don't seem understan' Français,
W'at's matter wit' dat?' An' I say 'Becos
You mak' too much talk on de Parisien.'

De groun she is pile wit' baggage--Sapré!
An' I see purty quick we got plaintee troub--
Two tronk, t'ree valise, four-five fusil,
An' w'at M'sieu Smit' he is call 'bat' tubbe.'

M'sieu Smit' he's tole me w'at for's dat t'ing,
An' it seem Englishman he don't feel correc'

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poem by William Henry Drummond
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The Windigo

Go easy wit' de paddle, an' steady wit' de
oar
Geev rudder to de bes' man you got among
de crew,
Let ev'ry wan be quiet, don't let dem sing no
more
W'en you see de islan' risin' out of Grande
Lac Manitou
Above us on de sky dere, de summer cloud
may float
Aroun' us on de water de ripple never show,
But somet'ing down below us can rock de
stronges' boat,
W'en we 're comin' near de islan' of de
spirit Windigo!

De carcajou may breed dere, an' otter sweem
de poole
De moosh-rat mak' de mud house, an' beaver
buil' hees dam
An' beeges' Injun hunter on all de Tête de
Boule
Will never set hees trap dere from spring
to summer tam.

But he 'll bring de fines' presen' from upper
St. Maurice
De loup marin an' black-fox from off de
Hodson Bay
An' hide dem on de islan' an' smoke de pipe
of peace
So Windigo will help heem w'en he travel
far away.

We shaintee on dat islan' on de winter seexty-
nine
If you look you see de clearin' aroun' de
Coo Coo Cache,
An' pleasan' place enough too among de spruce
an' pine
If foreman on de shaintee is n't Cyprien
Palache.

Beeg feller, alway watchin' on hees leetle
weasel eye,
De gang dey can't do not'ing but he see dem
purty quick
Wit' hees 'Hi dere, w'at you doin' ?' ev'ry
tam he 's passin' by
An' de bad word he was usin' , wall! it offen

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poem by William Henry Drummond
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The King Of Brentford’s Testament

The noble King of Brentford
Was old and very sick,
He summon'd his physicians
To wait upon him quick;
They stepp'd into their coaches
And brought their best physick.

They cramm'd their gracious master
With potion and with pill;
They drench'd him and they bled him;
They could not cure his ill.
'Go fetch,' says he, 'my lawyer,
I'd better make my will.'

The monarch's royal mandate
The lawyer did obey;
The thought of six-and-eightpence
Did make his heart full gay.
'What is't,' says he, 'your Majesty
Would wish of me to-day?'

'The doctors have belabor'd me
With potion and with pill:
My hours of life are counted,
O man of tape and quill!
Sit down and mend a pen or two,
I want to make my will.

'O'er all the land of Brentford
I'm lord, and eke of Kew:
I've three-per-cents and five-per-cents;
My debts are but a few;
And to inherit after me
I have but children two.

Prince Thomas is my eldest son,
A sober Prince is he,
And from the day we breech'd him
Till now, he's twenty-three,
He never caused disquiet
To his poor Mamma or me.

'At school they never flogg'd him,
At college, though not fast,
Yet his little-go and great-go
He creditably pass'd,
And made his year's allowance
For eighteen months to last.

'He never owed a shilling.

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poem by William Makepeace Thackeray
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