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Ambrose Bierce

The Birth Of The Rail

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

LELAND, THE KID _a Road Agent_
COWBOY CHARLEY _Same Line of Business_
HAPPY HUNTY _Ditto in All Respects_
SOOTYMUG _a Devil_

_Scene_-the Dutch Flat Stage Road, at 12 P.M., on a Night
of 1864.


COWBOY CHARLEY:

My boss, I fear she is delayed to-night.
Already it is past the hour, and yet
My ears have reached no sound of wheels; no note
Melodious, of long, luxurious oaths
Betokens the traditional dispute
(Unsettled from the dawn of time) between
The driver and off wheeler; no clear chant
Nor carol of Wells Fargo's messenger
Unbosoming his soul upon the air
his prowess to the tender-foot,
And how at divers times in sundry ways
He strewed the roadside with our carcasses.
Clearly, the stage will not come by to-night.

LELAND, THE KID:

I now remember that but yesterday
I saw three ugly looking fellows start
From Colfax with a gun apiece, and they
Did seem on business of importance bent.
Furtively casting all their eyes about
And covering their tracks with all the care
That business men do use. I think perhaps
They were Directors of that rival line,
The great Pacific Mail. If so, they have
Indubitably taken in that coach,
And we are overreached. Three times before
This thing has happened, and if once again
These outside operators dare to cut
Our rates of profit I shall quit the road
And take my money out of this concern.
When robbery no longer pays expense
It loses then its chiefest charm for me,
And I prefer to cheat-you hear me shout!

HAPPY HUNTY:

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Pass That Dutch

>[Intro]
Listen up everyone! we have been just informed
That there's an unknown virus that's attacking all clubs
Symptoms have been said to be - heaving breathing
Wild dancing, coughing
So when you hear the sound - WHO-DI-WHOOOO!
Run for cover..
WOOOOOO! Ahh daddy! Ooooo! Ah! oh, ooh!
Pass that dutch (ah), pass that dutch (ooh)
Pass that dutch (ah), pass that dutch (ah)
Pass that dutch (ah), pass that dutch (ah)
Pass that dutch (whoo), pass that dutch
[Verse 1]
Misdemeanor on the floor, pretty boy here I come
Pumps in the bunk make you wanna hurt something
I can take your man I don't have to sex em
Hang em out the window call me Micheal Jackson (hehehee!)
I'm a pain in your rectum, I am that bitch y'all slept on
Heavy hitter, rhyme spitter, call me Re-Run
Hey hey hey, I'm what's happ'nin
Hypnotic to get my drink (that's right!)
Shake ya ass till it stink (that's right!)
Mr. Mos' on the beat (that's right!)
Put it down for the streets (that's right!)
[Chorus]
(WHO-DI-WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!)
Pass that dutch, pass that dutch
Pass that dutch, pass that dutch, pass that dutch
Come on pass the dutch baby! (ahh!)
Shake-shake shake ya stuff ladies!
(WHO-DI-WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!)
Pass that dutch, pass that dutch
Pass that dutch, pass that dutch
Pop that, pop that, jiggle that fat (ahh!)
Don't stop, get it till ya clothes get wet
[Verse 2]
Number one - drums go bump, bump, bump
This beat here will make you boomp, boomp, jump
If you's a fat one, put your clothes back on
Before you start putting pot holes in my lawn
Oh my God, show em I'm large
Shove my beat up, attack like my name was Saddam
I am the bomb from New York to Milan
And I can write a song sicker than Jeffrey Dahm'
(Woop woop!) Don't touch my car alarm
Break in my car you will hear "Viper Armed"
I've been a superstar since Daddy Kane was raw
I'm live on stage, c'mon and give me some applause [applause]
"Thank you! oh thank you, you all are so wonderful!"
[Chorus]

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John Dryden

Annus Mirabilis, The Year Of Wonders, 1666

1
In thriving arts long time had Holland grown,
Crouching at home and cruel when abroad:
Scarce leaving us the means to claim our own;
Our King they courted, and our merchants awed.

2
Trade, which, like blood, should circularly flow,
Stopp'd in their channels, found its freedom lost:
Thither the wealth of all the world did go,
And seem'd but shipwreck'd on so base a coast.

3
For them alone the heavens had kindly heat;
In eastern quarries ripening precious dew:
For them the Idumaean balm did sweat,
And in hot Ceylon spicy forests grew.

4
The sun but seem'd the labourer of the year;
Each waxing moon supplied her watery store,
To swell those tides, which from the line did bear
Their brimful vessels to the Belgian shore.

5
Thus mighty in her ships, stood Carthage long,
And swept the riches of the world from far;
Yet stoop'd to Rome, less wealthy, but more strong:
And this may prove our second Punic war.

6
What peace can be, where both to one pretend?
(But they more diligent, and we more strong)
Or if a peace, it soon must have an end;
For they would grow too powerful, were it long.

7
Behold two nations, then, engaged so far
That each seven years the fit must shake each land:
Where France will side to weaken us by war,
Who only can his vast designs withstand.

8
See how he feeds the Iberian with delays,
To render us his timely friendship vain:
And while his secret soul on Flanders preys,
He rocks the cradle of the babe of Spain.

9
Such deep designs of empire does he lay

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Last Instructions to a Painter

After two sittings, now our Lady State
To end her picture does the third time wait.
But ere thou fall'st to work, first, Painter, see
If't ben't too slight grown or too hard for thee.
Canst thou paint without colors? Then 'tis right:
For so we too without a fleet can fight.
Or canst thou daub a signpost, and that ill?
'Twill suit our great debauch and little skill.
Or hast thou marked how antic masters limn
The aly-roof with snuff of candle dim,
Sketching in shady smoke prodigious tools?
'Twill serve this race of drunkards, pimps and fools.
But if to match our crimes thy skill presumes,
As th' Indians, draw our luxury in plumes.
Or if to score out our compendious fame,
With Hooke, then, through the microscope take aim,
Where, like the new Comptroller, all men laugh
To see a tall louse brandish the white staff.
Else shalt thou oft thy guiltless pencil curse,
Stamp on thy palette, not perhaps the worse.
The painter so, long having vexed his cloth--
Of his hound's mouth to feign the raging froth--
His desperate pencil at the work did dart:
His anger reached that rage which passed his art;
Chance finished that which art could but begin,
And he sat smiling how his dog did grin.
So mayst thou pérfect by a lucky blow
What all thy softest touches cannot do.

Paint then St Albans full of soup and gold,
The new court's pattern, stallion of the old.
Him neither wit nor courage did exalt,
But Fortune chose him for her pleasure salt.
Paint him with drayman's shoulders, butcher's mien,
Membered like mules, with elephantine chine.
Well he the title of St Albans bore,
For Bacon never studied nature more.
But age, allayed now that youthful heat,
Fits him in France to play at cards and treat.
Draw no commission lest the court should lie,
That, disavowing treaty, asks supply.
He needs no seal but to St James's lease,
Whose breeches wear the instrument of peace;
Who, if the French dispute his power, from thence
Can straight produce them a plenipotence..
Nor fears he the Most Christian should trepan
Two saints at once, St Germain, St Alban,
But thought the Golden Age was now restored,
When men and women took each other's word.

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Pass The Dutch

[Intro]
Listen up everyone! we have been just informed That there's an unknown virus that's attacking all clubs Symptoms have been said to be - heaving breathing Wild dancing, coughing So when you hear the sound - WHO-DI-WHOOOO! Run for cover.. WOOOOOO! Ahh daddy! Ooooo! Ah! oh, ooh! Pass that dutch (ah), pass that dutch (ooh) Pass that dutch (ah), pass that dutch (ah) Pass that dutch (ah), pass that dutch (ah) Pass that dutch (whoo), pass that dutch
[Verse 1]
Misdemeanor on the flow, pretty boy here I come Pumps in the bunk make you wanna hurt something I can take your man I don't have to sex em Hang em out the window call me Micheal Jackson (hehehee!) I'm a pain in your rectum, I am that bitch y'all slept on Heavy hitter, rhyme spitter, call me Re-Run Hey hey hey, I'm what's happ'nin Now to get my drink (that's right!) Shake ya ass till it stink (that's right!) Mr. Mos' on the beat (that's right!) Put it down for the streets (that's right!)
[Chorus]
(WHO-DI-WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!) Pass that dutch, pass that dutch Pass that dutch, pass that dutch, pass that dutch Come on pass the dutch baby! (ahh!) Shake-shake shake ya stuff baby! (WHO-DI-WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!) Pass that dutch, pass that dutch Pass that dutch, pass that dutch Pop that, pop that, jiggle that fat (ahh!) Don't stop, get it till ya clothes get wet
[Verse 2]
Number one - drums go bump, bump, bump This beat here will make you hoomp, boomp, jump If you's a fat one, put your clothes back on Before you start putting pot holes in my lawn Oh my God, show em I'm large Shove my beat up, attack like my name was Saddam I am the bomb from New York to Milan And I can write a song sicker than Jeffrey Dahm' (Woop woop!) Don't touch my car alarm Break in my car you will hear "Viper Armed" I've been a superstar since Daddy Kane was raw I'm live

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Prior To Miss Belle's Appearance

What makes you come HERE fer, Mister,
So much to our house?--SAY?
Come to see our big sister!--
An' Charley he says 'at you kissed her
An' he ketched you, th'uther day!--
Didn' you, Charley?--But we p'omised Belle
An' crossed our heart to never to tell--
'Cause SHE gived us some o' them-er
Chawk'lut-drops 'at you bringed to her!

Charley he's my little b'uther--
An' we has a-mostest fun,
Don't we, Charley?--Our Muther,
Whenever we whips one anuther,
Tries to whip US--an' we RUN--
Don't we, Charley?--An' nen, bime-by,
Nen she gives us cake--an' pie--
Don't she, Charley?--when we come in
An' pomise never to do it ag'in!

HE'S named Charley.--I'm WILLIE--
An' I'm got the purtiest name!
But Uncle Bob HE calls me 'Billy'--
Don't he, Charley?--'N' our filly
We named 'Billy,' the same
Ist like me! An' our Ma said
'At 'Bob puts foolishnuss into our head!'--
Didn' she, Charley?--An' SHE don't know
Much about BOYS!--'Cause Bob said so!

Baby's a funniest feller!
Nain't no hair on his head--
IS they, Charley?--It's meller
Wite up there! An' ef Belle er
Us ask wuz WE that way, Ma said,--
'Yes; an' yer PA'S head wuz soft as that,
An' it's that way yet!'--An' Pa grabs his hat
An' says, 'Yes, childern, she's right about Pa--
'Cause that's the reason he married yer Ma!'

An' our Ma says 'at 'Belle couldn'
Ketch nothin' at all but ist 'BOWS!'--
An' PA says 'at 'you're soft as puddun!'--
An' UNCLE BOB says 'you're a good-un--
'Cause he can tell by yer nose!'-
Didn' he, Charley?--An' when Belle'll play
In the poller on th' pianer, some day,
Bob makes up funny songs about you,
Till she gits mad-like he wants her to!

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Happy Happy birthday Sasha

Happy Happy birthday Sasha'

To the 'LOVELIEST SUPER MODEL IN THE WORLD'
with the most~
'DEFINED FLAWLESS FRAME'
let me say ~
happy happy birthday to you ~
i lift up my glass with a~
'LYRICAL Toast'
Just as 'SWEETLY WHOLESOME'
and 'NICELY GIVEN'
as to say to you ~
i hope you have a ~
happy happy birthday~
that only a 'FASCINATING MODEL'
like you can do ~
happy happy birthday ~
to a 'PERFECT BEAUTY'
as 'ONE OF A KIND, Attractive'
and 'EXQUISITELY LOVEY'
as 'Sasha Lace You'
-----------
'Happy Happy birthday JC'

To the 'SMOOTH, TALKING Chief'
with the most~
'HANDLE ON WHAT A WOMAN WANTS'
let me say ~
happy happy birthday to you ~
i lift up my glass with a~
'LYRICAL Toast'
just as 'DREAMY'
and 'CUTE'
as to say to you ~
i hope you have a ~
happy happy birthday~
that only a 'REAL, YOUNG MAN'
like you can do ~
happy happy birthday ~
to a 'LADY'S MAN'
as 'MAGNET' and 'CHARMING'
as 'JC THE BEST MAN FOR You'
-----------
Happy Happy Birthday ஐ ~•° VaLentiNe°•~ஐ '

To the 'LOVELY YOUNG LADY'
with the most~
'BEAUTIFUL, SWEET FACE'
let me say ~
happy happy birthday to you ~

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The Rosciad

Unknowing and unknown, the hardy Muse
Boldly defies all mean and partial views;
With honest freedom plays the critic's part,
And praises, as she censures, from the heart.

Roscius deceased, each high aspiring player
Push'd all his interest for the vacant chair.
The buskin'd heroes of the mimic stage
No longer whine in love, and rant in rage;
The monarch quits his throne, and condescends
Humbly to court the favour of his friends;
For pity's sake tells undeserved mishaps,
And, their applause to gain, recounts his claps.
Thus the victorious chiefs of ancient Rome,
To win the mob, a suppliant's form assume;
In pompous strain fight o'er the extinguish'd war,
And show where honour bled in every scar.
But though bare merit might in Rome appear
The strongest plea for favour, 'tis not here;
We form our judgment in another way;
And they will best succeed, who best can pay:
Those who would gain the votes of British tribes,
Must add to force of merit, force of bribes.
What can an actor give? In every age
Cash hath been rudely banish'd from the stage;
Monarchs themselves, to grief of every player,
Appear as often as their image there:
They can't, like candidate for other seat,
Pour seas of wine, and mountains raise of meat.
Wine! they could bribe you with the world as soon,
And of 'Roast Beef,' they only know the tune:
But what they have they give; could Clive do more,
Though for each million he had brought home four?
Shuter keeps open house at Southwark fair,
And hopes the friends of humour will be there;
In Smithfield, Yates prepares the rival treat
For those who laughter love, instead of meat;
Foote, at Old House,--for even Foote will be,
In self-conceit, an actor,--bribes with tea;
Which Wilkinson at second-hand receives,
And at the New, pours water on the leaves.
The town divided, each runs several ways,
As passion, humour, interest, party sways.
Things of no moment, colour of the hair,
Shape of a leg, complexion brown or fair,
A dress well chosen, or a patch misplaced,
Conciliate favour, or create distaste.
From galleries loud peals of laughter roll,
And thunder Shuter's praises; he's so droll.
Embox'd, the ladies must have something smart,

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Da Bo$$ Would Like To See You

typed by: sonydogg@wanadoo.fr
Dizzle fizzle! Da bizzle! (Boss!)
Tha bling! Tha bling! (Ah ah ah!) [echoes]
Yeah... Uh uh
It's 2002 [echoes]... And whatchu gon' do? (whatchu gon' do?)
I'ma boss up... Ironically speakin' (uh), or it is generally speakin'...
I'm the ambassador, better yet, the PROFESSOR, of G-OLOGY (of G-ology...)
Just bossin' up right now...
Uh uh... Tha Boss would like to see ya (yeah... yeah)
Tha Boss would like to see ya
Bugsy! Tha Boss would like to see ya...
Gotti! Tha Boss would like to see ya...
Capone! Tha Boss would like to see ya...
Soprano! Tha Boss would like to see ya...
DOGGY! First Black with a casino! (Ah ah)
Tha Boss would like to see ya (who me?)
Yeah, I ain't takin' orders no more (Huh-uh!)
Boss Boss... [echoes]
Uh.. I'm tha Boss (ahh!)
It's my house (my house), and I (and I) leave here (yeah, I'm tha Boss)
It's my house (my house), and I (and I) leave here...
Tha Boss would like to see ya (who?)
Bugsy! Tha Boss would like to see ya...
Gotti! Tha Boss would like to see ya... (who? who?)
Capone! Tha Boss would like to see ya...
Soprano! Tha Boss would like to see ya...
DOGGY! Fist Black with a casino (ah ah!)
Boss, boss, boss, boss, boss, boss... [echoes til end]

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Prince Hohenstiel-Schwangau, Saviour of Society

Epigraph

Υδραν φονεύσας, μυρίων τ᾽ ἄλλων πόνων
διῆλθον ἀγέλας . . .
τὸ λοίσθιον δὲ τόνδ᾽ ἔτλην τάλας πόνον,
. . . δῶμα θριγκῶσαι κακοῖς.

I slew the Hydra, and from labour pass'd
To labour — tribes of labours! Till, at last,
Attempting one more labour, in a trice,
Alack, with ills I crowned the edifice.

You have seen better days, dear? So have I
And worse too, for they brought no such bud-mouth
As yours to lisp "You wish you knew me!" Well,
Wise men, 't is said, have sometimes wished the same,
And wished and had their trouble for their pains.
Suppose my Œdipus should lurk at last
Under a pork-pie hat and crinoline,
And, latish, pounce on Sphynx in Leicester Square?
Or likelier, what if Sphynx in wise old age,
Grown sick of snapping foolish people's heads,
And jealous for her riddle's proper rede, —
Jealous that the good trick which served the turn
Have justice rendered it, nor class one day
With friend Home's stilts and tongs and medium-ware,—
What if the once redoubted Sphynx, I say,
(Because night draws on, and the sands increase,
And desert-whispers grow a prophecy)
Tell all to Corinth of her own accord.
Bright Corinth, not dull Thebes, for Lais' sake,
Who finds me hardly grey, and likes my nose,
And thinks a man of sixty at the prime?
Good! It shall be! Revealment of myself!
But listen, for we must co-operate;
I don't drink tea: permit me the cigar!
First, how to make the matter plain, of course —
What was the law by which I lived. Let 's see:
Ay, we must take one instant of my life
Spent sitting by your side in this neat room:
Watch well the way I use it, and don't laugh!
Here's paper on the table, pen and ink:
Give me the soiled bitnot the pretty rose!
See! having sat an hour, I'm rested now,
Therefore want work: and spy no better work
For eye and hand and mind that guides them both,
During this instant, than to draw my pen
From blot One — thus — up, up to blot Two — thus —
Which I at last reach, thus, and here's my line
Five inches long and tolerably straight:

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Boss Of Me

Yes, no, maybe
I don't know
Can you repeat the question?
You're not the boss of me now
You're not the boss of me now
You're not the boss of me now, and you're not so big
You're not the boss of me now
You're not the boss of me now
You're not the boss of me now, and you're not so big
Life is unfair, so I just stare at the stain on the wall where
The TV'd been, but ever since we've moved in it's been empty
Why I, why I'm in this room
There is no point explaining
You're not the boss of me now, and you're not so big
You're not the boss of me now
You're not the boss of me now
You're not the boss of me now, and you're not so big
Life is a test, but I confess
I like this mess I've made so far
Grade on a curve and you'll observe
I'm right below the horizon
Yes, no, maybe, I don't know
Can you repeat the question?
You're not the boss of me now
You're not the boss of me now
You're not the boss of me now, and you're not so big
You're not the boss of me now
You're not the boss of me now
You're not the boss of me now, and you're not so big
You're not the boss of me now
You're not the boss of me now
You're not the boss of me now, and you're not so big
You're not the boss of me now
You're not the boss of me now
You're not the boss of me now, and you're not so big
Life is unfair

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Brice Lee (Short)

bullet got the wrong bloke.
life kid suck
drinkfromthebox
the juice kid suck
life kid
suck the box drink
yeah
life kid drinkfromthebox
the juice kid suck
life kid suck theboxdrink
yeah, bruce lee
life kid sinkfromthebox
seen from the box
the juice from the box
kid suck
life
kid yeah suckfromtheboxdrink
bruce lee
life kid suckfromthebox
drink from the box
the juice kid suck
life kid suckfromtheboxdrink
yeah, bruce lee
life kid sinkfromthebox
seen from a box
the juice from a box
kid suck
life
kid yeahsuckfromtheboxdrink
bruce lee
life kid suckfromthebox
drink from a box
the juice kid suck
life kid suckfromtheboxdrink
yeah, bruce lee
yeah,yeah,yeah
life kid suckfromthebox
drink from the box
the juice kid suck
life kid suckthebox
yeah, bruce lee
life kid drinkfromthebox
sinkfromthebox
straightfromthebox
the juice kid suck
life
kid sucktheboxdrink
yeah, bruce lee
tan blonde
life kid suckthebox...

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The Reverend Simon Magus

A rich advowson, highly prized,
For private sale was advertised;
And many a parson made a bid;
The REVEREND SIMON MAGUS did.

He sought the agent's: "Agent, I
Have come prepared at once to buy
(If your demand is not too big)
The Cure of Otium-cum-Digge."

"Ah!" said the agent, "THERE'S a berth -
The snuggest vicarage on earth;
No sort of duty (so I hear),
And fifteen hundred pounds a year!

"If on the price we should agree,
The living soon will vacant be;
The good incumbent's ninety five,
And cannot very long survive.

See - here's his photograph - you see,
He's in his dotage." "Ah, dear me!
Poor soul!" said SIMON. "His decease
Would be a merciful release!"

The agent laughed - the agent blinked -
The agent blew his nose and winked -
And poked the parson's ribs in play -
It was that agent's vulgar way.

The REVEREND SIMON frowned: "I grieve
This light demeanour to perceive;
It's scarcely COMME IL FAUT, I think:
Now - pray oblige me - do not wink.

"Don't dig my waistcoat into holes -
Your mission is to sell the souls
Of human sheep and human kids
To that divine who highest bids.

"Do well in this, and on your head
Unnumbered honours will be shed."
The agent said, "Well, truth to tell,
I HAVE been doing very well."

"You should," said SIMON, "at your age;
But now about the parsonage.
How many rooms does it contain?
Show me the photograph again.

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VI. Giuseppe Caponsacchi

Answer you, Sirs? Do I understand aright?
Have patience! In this sudden smoke from hell,—
So things disguise themselves,—I cannot see
My own hand held thus broad before my face
And know it again. Answer you? Then that means
Tell over twice what I, the first time, told
Six months ago: 't was here, I do believe,
Fronting you same three in this very room,
I stood and told you: yet now no one laughs,
Who then … nay, dear my lords, but laugh you did,
As good as laugh, what in a judge we style
Laughter—no levity, nothing indecorous, lords!
Only,—I think I apprehend the mood:
There was the blameless shrug, permissible smirk,
The pen's pretence at play with the pursed mouth,
The titter stifled in the hollow palm
Which rubbed the eyebrow and caressed the nose,
When I first told my tale: they meant, you know,
"The sly one, all this we are bound believe!
"Well, he can say no other than what he says.
"We have been young, too,—come, there's greater guilt!
"Let him but decently disembroil himself,
"Scramble from out the scrape nor move the mud,—
"We solid ones may risk a finger-stretch!
And now you sit as grave, stare as aghast
As if I were a phantom: now 't is—"Friend,
"Collect yourself!"—no laughing matter more
"Counsel the Court in this extremity,
"Tell us again!"—tell that, for telling which,
I got the jocular piece of punishment,
Was sent to lounge a little in the place
Whence now of a sudden here you summon me
To take the intelligence from justyour lips!
You, Judge Tommati, who then tittered most,—
That she I helped eight months since to escape
Her husband, was retaken by the same,
Three days ago, if I have seized your sense,—
(I being disallowed to interfere,
Meddle or make in a matter none of mine,
For you and law were guardians quite enough
O' the innocent, without a pert priest's help)—
And that he has butchered her accordingly,
As she foretold and as myself believed,—
And, so foretelling and believing so,
We were punished, both of us, the merry way:
Therefore, tell once again the tale! For what?
Pompilia is only dying while I speak!
Why does the mirth hang fire and miss the smile?
My masters, there's an old book, you should con
For strange adventures, applicable yet,

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Slip Kid

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight ...
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight ...
Ive got my clipboard, text books
Ive got my clipboard, text books
Lead me to the station
Lead me to the station
Yeah, Im off to the civil war
Yeah, Im off to the civil war
Ive got my kit bag, my heavy boots
Ive got my kit bag, my heavy boots
Im runnin in the rain
Im runnin in the rain
Gonna run till my feet are raw
Gonna run till my feet are raw
Slip kid, slip kid, second generation
Slip kid, slip kid, second generation
And Im a soldier at thirteen
And Im a soldier at thirteen
Slip kid, slip kid, realization
Slip kid, slip kid, realization
Theres no easy way to be free
Theres no easy way to be free
No easy way to be free
No easy way to be free
Its a hard, hard world
Its a hard, hard world
I left my doctors prescription bungalow behind me
I left my doctors prescription bungalow behind me
I left the door ajar
I left the door ajar
I left my vacuum flask
I left my vacuum flask
Full of hot tea and sugar
Full of hot tea and sugar
Left the keys right in my car
Left the keys right in my car
Slip kid, slip kid, second generation
Slip kid, slip kid, second generation
Only half way up the tree
Only half way up the tree
Slip kid, slip kid, Im a relation
Slip kid, slip kid, Im a relation
Im a soldier at sixty-three
Im a soldier at sixty-three
No easy way to be free
No easy way to be free
Slip kid, slip kid
Slip kid, slip kid
Keep away old man, you wont fool me
Keep away old man, you wont fool me

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The Cenci : A Tragedy In Five Acts

DRAMATIS PERSONÆ

Count Francesco Cenci.
Giacomo, his Son.
Bernardo, his Son.
Cardinal Camillo.
Orsino, a Prelate.
Savella, the Pope's Legate.
Olimpio, Assassin.
Marzio, Assassin.
Andrea, Servant to Cenci.
Nobles, Judges, Guards, Servants.
Lucretia, Wife of Cenci, and Step-mother of his children.
Beatrice, his Daughter.

The Scene lies principally in Rome, but changes during the Fourth Act to Petrella, a castle among the Apulian Apennines.
Time. During the Pontificate of Clement VIII.


ACT I

Scene I.
-An Apartment in the Cenci Palace.
Enter Count Cenci, and Cardinal Camillo.


Camillo.
That matter of the murder is hushed up
If you consent to yield his Holiness
Your fief that lies beyond the Pincian gate.-
It needed all my interest in the conclave
To bend him to this point: he said that you
Bought perilous impunity with your gold;
That crimes like yours if once or twice compounded
Enriched the Church, and respited from hell
An erring soul which might repent and live:-
But that the glory and the interest
Of the high throne he fills, little consist
With making it a daily mart of guilt
As manifold and hideous as the deeds
Which you scarce hide from men's revolted eyes.


Cenci.
The third of my possessions-let it go!
Ay, I once heard the nephew of the Pope
Had sent his architect to view the ground,
Meaning to build a villa on my vines
The next time I compounded with his uncle:
I little thought he should outwit me so!

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The Dream

'TWAS summer eve; the changeful beams still play'd
On the fir-bark and through the beechen shade;
Still with soft crimson glow'd each floating cloud;
Still the stream glitter'd where the willow bow'd;
Still the pale moon sate silent and alone,
Nor yet the stars had rallied round her throne;
Those diamond courtiers, who, while yet the West
Wears the red shield above his dying breast,
Dare not assume the loss they all desire,
Nor pay their homage to the fainter fire,
But wait in trembling till the Sun's fair light
Fading, shall leave them free to welcome Night!

So when some Chief, whose name through realms afar
Was still the watchword of succesful war,
Met by the fatal hour which waits for all,
Is, on the field he rallied, forced to fall,
The conquerors pause to watch his parting breath,
Awed by the terrors of that mighty death;
Nor dare the meed of victory to claim,
Nor lift the standard to a meaner name,
Till every spark of soul hath ebb'd away,
And leaves what was a hero, common clay.

Oh! Twilight! Spirit that dost render birth
To dim enchantments; melting Heaven with Earth,
Leaving on craggy hills and rumning streams
A softness like the atmosphere of dreams;
Thy hour to all is welcome! Faint and sweet
Thy light falls round the peasant's homeward feet,
Who, slow returning from his task of toil,
Sees the low sunset gild the cultured soil,
And, tho' such radliance round him brightly glows,
Marks the small spark his cottage window throws.
Still as his heart forestals his weary pace,
Fondly he dreams of each familiar face,
Recalls the treasures of his narrow life,
His rosy children, and his sunburnt wife,

To whom his coming is the chief event
Of simple days in cheerful labour spent.
The rich man's chariot hath gone whirling past,
And those poor cottagers have only cast
One careless glance on all that show of pride,
Then to their tasks turn'd quietly aside;
But him they wait for, him they welcome home,
Fond sentinels look forth to see him come;
The fagot sent for when the fire grew dim,
The frugal meal prepared, are all for him;
For him the watching of that sturdy boy,

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Peter Bell The Third

BY MICHING MALLECHO, Esq.

Is it a party in a parlour,
Crammed just as they on earth were crammed,
Some sipping punch-some sipping tea;
But, as you by their faces see,
All silent, and all-damned!

Peter Bell, by W. Wordsworth.


Ophelia.-What means this, my lord?
Hamlet.-Marry, this is Miching Mallecho; it means mischief.
~Shakespeare.

PROLOGUE
Pet er Bells, one, two and three,
O'er the wide world wandering be.-
First, the antenatal Peter,
Wrapped in weeds of the same metre,
The so-long-predestined raiment
Clothed in which to walk his way meant
The second Peter; whose ambition
Is to link the proposition,
As the mean of two extremes-
(This was learned from Aldric's themes)
Shielding from the guilt of schism
The orthodoxal syllogism;
The First Peter-he who was
Like the shadow in the glass
Of the second, yet unripe,
His substantial antitype.-
Then came Peter Bell the Second,
Who henceforward must be reckoned
The body of a double soul,
And that portion of the whole
Without which the rest would seem
Ends of a disjointed dream.-
And the Third is he who has
O'er the grave been forced to pass
To the other side, which is,-
Go and try else,-just like this.
Peter Bell the First was Peter
Smugger, milder, softer, neater,
Like the soul before it is
Born from that world into this.
The next Peter Bell was he,
Predevote, like you and me,
To good or evil as may come;
His was the severer doom,-

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The Sorcerer: Act I

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

Sir Marmaduke Pointdextre, an Elderly Baronet

Alexis, of the Grenadier Guards--His Son

Dr. Daly, Vicar of Ploverleigh

John Wellington Wells, of J. W. Wells & Co., Family Sorcerers

Lady Sangazure, a Lady of Ancient Lineage

Aline, Her Daughter--betrothed to Alexis

Mrs. Partlet, a Pew-Opener

Constance, her Daughter

Chorus of Villagers


ACT I -- Grounds of Sir Marmaduke's Mansion, Mid-day


SCENE -- Exterior of Sir Marmaduke's Elizabethan Mansion, mid-day.

CHORUS OF VILLAGERS

Ring forth, ye bells,
With clarion sound--
Forget your knells,
For joys abound.
Forget your notes
Of mournful lay,
And from your throats
Pour joy to-day.

For to-day young Alexis--young Alexis Pointdextre
Is betrothed to Aline--to Aline Sangazure,
And that pride of his sex is--of his sex is to be next her
At the feast on the green--on the green, oh, be sure!

Ring forth, ye bells etc.
(Exeunt the men into house.)

(Enter Mrs. Partlet with Constance, her daughter)

RECITATIVE

MRS. P. Constance, my daughter, why this strange depression?

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Little Cowboys Cry

(monte thomas)
Theres a little boy on his knees beside his bed
With a cowboy hat upon his bowed head
Tryin to keep the tears in his eyes
And his heart breaks as the little cowboy cries
As the cowboy cries
He says God forgive me please
I didnt want my daddy to leave
And I promise to be good this time
But his heart breaks as the little cowboy cries
Theres another heart in pain outside his door
His momma heard him cry as she walked the floor
Her love for his daddy has died
And her heart breaks as her little cowboy cries
As her cowboy cries
She says God forgive me please
I know I made him leave
But the pain will go away in time
But her heart breaks as her little cowboy cries
In a smoky little bar way downtown
His daddy is drinkin whiskey down
Tryin to kill the pain he feels inside
And his heart breaks as his little cowboy cries
And his cowboy cries
He says God forgive me please
I know I had to leave
Things havent been good for a long, long time
And his heart breaks as his little cowboy cries
As his cowboy cries
As his cowboy cries
As his cowboy cries
As his cowboy cries
As the cowboy cries
As the cowboy cries
As the cowboy cries
As the cowboy cries

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Mind Your Own Business

Mind Your Own Business
(Words and music by Hank Williams, Sr.)
If the wife and I was fussin', brother that's our right
Me and that ole woman bought a license to fight
Why don't you mind your own business(Mind your own business)
Yeah,mind your own business(Mind your own business)
If youmind your own business, you won't be mindin' mine.
Well, the woman on the party line's a nosey thing
She picks up her receiver when she knows it's my ring
Why don't you mind your own business(Mind your own business)
Yeah, mind your own business(Mind your own business)
If you mind your own business, you won't be mindin' mine.
--- Instrumental with ad libs ---
Well, I got a little girl that wears her hair up high
The boys all hollar when she walks by
Why don't you mind your own business(Mind your own business)
Yeah, mind your own business(Mind your own business)
Just mind your own business, you wont be mindin' mine.
--- Instrumental with ad libs ---
I may tell a lot of stories that may not be true
But I can get to Heaven just as easy as you
Why don't you mind your own business(Mind your own business)
Yeah, will you mind your own business(Mind your own business)
Mind your business, and you won't be mindin' mine.
--- Instrumental with ad libs ---
Now, If I want to honky tonk 'til around two or three
Darlin' that's my headache, don't you worry 'bout me.
Why don't you mind your own business(Mind your own business)
Go on and mind your own business(Mind your own business)
If you're mindin' your business, you won't be mindin' mine.
--- Instrumental---
Mindin' other people's business seems to be high-toned
Well, I got all that I can do just to mind my own
Mind your own business(Mind your own business)
Yeah, mind your own business(Mind your own business)
If you mind your businessmyou won't be mindin' mine.
Dear Lord, If you mind your business, you'll be busy all the time...

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