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All the things I really like to do are either illegal, immoral, or fattening.

quote by Alexander Woollcott
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Illegal Alien

Got out of bed, wasnt feeling too good
With my wallet and my passport, a new pair of shoes
The sun is shining so I head for the park,
With a bottle of tequila, and a new pack of cigarettes
I got a cousin and she got a friend,
Who thought that her aunt knew a man who could help
At his apartment I knocked on the door,
He wouldnt come out until he got paid.
Now dont tell anybody what I wanna do
If they find out you know that theyll never let me through, cos
Its no fun being an illegal alien, no
Its no fun being an illegal alien
Down at the office had to fill out the forms
A pink one, a red one, the colours you choose,
Up to the counter to see what they think
They said it doesnt count man, it aint written in ink.
I dont trust anybody, least not around here, cos
Its no fun being an illegal alien, I tell ya
Its no fun being an illegal alien, no no no no no
Its no fun being an illegal alien, I mean it when I tell ya that
Its no fun being an illegal alien,
An illegal alien, o.k.
Consideration for your fellow man
Would not hurt anybody, it sure fits in with my plan
Over the border, there lies the promised land
Where everything comes easy, you just hold out your hand
Keep your suspicions, Ive seen that look before
But I aint done nothing wrong now, is that such a suprise
But Ive got a sister whod be willing to oblige
She will do anything now to help me get to the outside
So dont tell anybody what I wanna do
If they find out you know that theyll never let me through, because
Its no fun being an illegal alien, I tell ya
Its no fun being an illegal alien, and its getting me down
Its no fun being an illegal alien, no no no no no
Its no fun being an illegal alien, yeah yeah yeah
Its no fun (not much fun) being an illegal alien, I tell ya that
Its no fun being an illegal alien, I tell ya
Its no fun being an illegal alien, no no no
Its no fun (not bloody much fun) being an illegal alien,
Its no fun being an illegal alien, and thats what I am.

song performed by Genesis
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Illegal Search

Yo baby
Put your seatbelt on
I got my paperwork, dont worry
Its cool
[ the flex ]
Illegal search
(do you wanna see it? )
(Im gonna do it)
[ verse 1 ]
What the hell are you lookin for?
Cant a young man make money anymore?
Wear my jewels and like freak it on the floor
Or is it my job to make sure Im poor?
Cant my car look better than yours?
Keep a cigar in between my jaws
I drink champagne, to hell with coors
Never sold coke in my life, I do tours
Get that flashlight out of my face
Im not a dog, so damn it, put away the mace
I got cash and real attorneys on the case
Youre just a joker perpetratin a ace
You got time, you wanna give me a taste
I dont smoke cigarettes, so why youre lookin for base?
You might plant a gun, and hope I run a race
Eatin in the messhall, sayin my grace
You tried to frame me, but it wont work
Illegal search
[ the flex ]
Keep on searchin
[ l.l. cool j ]
Im totally relaxed
[ the flex ]
Illegal searchin
[ l.l. cool j ]
Illegal search
[ the flex ]
Keep on searchin
Keep on searchin
Keep on searchin
Gotta, gotta, gotta...
[ verse 2 ]
I call it nice, you call it a drug car
I say disco, you call it a drug bar
I say nice guy, you call me mr. good bar
I made progress, you say, not that far
I just started it, youre searchin my car
But all my paperwork is up to par
Its in my uncles name, so the frame wont work
Chump - illegal search
[ the flex ]

[...] Read more

song performed by LL Cool J
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Revolution

Tonight, it's a revolution
Tonight, we're going to war
Tonight, you better make a decision
Tonight, we're going to war
I'm not a patriot
I'm not illegal
I'm not a fugitive
I'm an American
I'm an American
I think you need some education
I think you need some thought control
Tonight, there is a situation
Tonight, it's the end of the world
Tonight, we'll take control of the nation
Tonight, we take control of the world
I'm not a patriot
I'm not illegal
I'm not a fugitive
I'm an American
I'm an American
I'm not a patriot
I'm not illegal
I'm not a fugitive
I'm an American
I'm an American
Come let's crush these weak defenses
Lets all lose our self-control
We will fight the false pretenses
And break the arm that has a hold
Come let's crush the opposition
And let us not do what we're told
We can kill the competition
And break the face off of the mold
I'm not a patriot
I'm not illegal
I'm not a fugitive
I'm an American
I'm an American
I'm not a patriot
I'm not illegal
I'm not a fugitive
I'm an American
I'm an American
I'm an American
I'm an American
I'm an American
I'm an American
I think you need some education
I think you need some thought control

song performed by 30 Seconds To Mars
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Almost Illegal

(r. stewart/a. taylor)
Yeah, I said yeah
I remember the first time
That I ever seen her face
I was standing by the drug store
Trying to save the human race
Took a raincheck on a blind date
To get her prescription filled
We had a short talk and a long walk
Through the lazy cottonfield
It was hot
She was cool and sultry
We made love
I was broke and lonely
Shes wonderful, so beautiful
So delectable, shes mine
Shes desirable, so lovable
And its criminal, almost illegal
Well we woke up in a barnyard
When I heard a farmer shout
Get away, boy, from my daughter
When a shotgun rang out
We took off
She was right behind me
Ran like the wind
What a crazy lady
Shes fabulous, so sensuous
Shes marvelous, shes mine
Im delirious, its serious
Kinda dangerous, almost illegal
Bring it down now
We had a one child by the springtime
And another on the way
I got a new life and a good wife
Aint that amazing grace
It was hot
She was cool and sultry
We made love
I was broke and lonely
Shes wonderful, shes beautiful
Shes desirable, shes mine
Im delirious, shes serious
Its kinda dangerous, almost illegal
Wonderful, so beautiful
Shes not a radical, but shes mine
Shes fabulous, so sensuous
And its marvelous, almost illegal
Beautiful and shes wonderful
So desirable, almost illegal

song performed by Rod Stewart
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Bible in Poetry: 1 Corinthians 5

Expel the Immoral Brother!

1 That sexual immorality
Exists amongst you is real,
And of a kind that doesn’t occur,
Even among the pagans yet:
If man has his own father's wife,
2 Can you be proud at anytime?
Shouldn't you be rather filled with grief?
And cut your fellowship with him?
3 though physically not present,
I’m with you in spirit always.
I’ve passed judgment on this bad man
Just as if I were present then.
4 When you’re assembled in Lord’s name,
I am with you in spirit then,
The power of Jesus is present,
5 hand over this man to Satan then,
So that, the sinful nature dies,
Or may be destroyed finally,
And his spirit saved on Lord’s Day.
6 Your boasting is not good at all.
Don't you know that a little yeast
Works through the entire dough fast?
7 Get rid of old yeast so that you
Could be a new batch without yeast—
Which you really are in fact!
For Christ, our Passover Lamb of God,
Has already been sacrificed.
8 Therefore, let’s keep the Festival,
Not with old yeast of malice, wickedness,
But with bread of sincerity and truth.
9 I have written you in my letter,
Not to associate with people
Who are sexually immoral—
10 not meaning people of this world
Who’re immoral, or the greedy
And swindlers, or idolaters.
In that case you must leave this world.
11 But now I write to you that you,
Must not associate with one
Who calls himself a brother but
Is sexually immoral or
Greedy, idolater and slanderer,
A drunkard or a swindler too.
Don’t even eat with such a man.
12 It isn’t my duty to judge those
Who are outside the church right now?
You are not to judge those inside?
13 God judges those who are outside.

[...] Read more

poem by John Celes
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From middle age on, everything of interest is either illegal, immoral or fattening.

American proverbs
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Everything I like is either illegal, immoral or fattening.

quote by Alexander Woollcott
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All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening.

quote by Alexander Woollcott
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We burned to death 100,000 Japanese civilians in Tokyo - men, women and children. LeMay recognized that what he was doing would be thought immoral if his side had lost. But what makes it immoral if you lose and not immoral if you win?

quote by Robert McNamara
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Pedpphiles

Phedophiles are immoral bastards.
Stuff those who dont think so.
Weather its just cos their attracted to childen or not.
Its immoral and not right.
Sodd those idiots who think its fine.

As a kidd my head was messed up.
Its not just me its others to.
And the other poor kids too.
Phedophiles are rong
And they are shit.

Immoral bastards is what they are.
String them up and kill em all.

poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
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Progressive Minds

Progressive liberals with a cause, covering over their spiritual flaws,
Saying what many want to hear; concerning God, they have no fear.
Progressing with the moral tides, on immoral waves the party rides,
As they drift far away from God, while leading with a confident nod.

Progress for all they say they make, as Godly morals they forsake,
Wanting to be all things to all, perpetuates the curse of Adam’s fall.
Bringing upon this mighty land, The Sovereign God’s uplifted hand,
One raised up in Righteous Wrath, against their liberal immoral path.

Many liberal minds in one accord, running a nation without The Lord,
Being followed by a large multitude, caught in a darkened servitude.
Though God may be on their lips, not in their heart, but liberal quips,
To build their liberal agenda friend, which has eternal ruin at the end.

Opposing God’s Righteous Decree, they desire to lead you and me,
Filled with liberal pundits galore, regarding truth, want less not more,
While liberal heroes they raise up tall, moral views they see as small,
Turning conservative concerns into, immoral agendas they’ll pursue.

They approve evil across the board, as the moral issues go ignored,
Counseling together in wickedness, despising God’s Righteousness,
Filling the land with darkened lies, professing to be the best of wise,
With wisdom apart from God, who’s returning soon with an Iron Rod.

(Copyright ©08/2008)

poem by Bob Gotti
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Your love is wicked (parody)

(with apology to Koos A. Kombuis)

When you are crying
I want to strive
to be in your shadow
to feel the pain in everything,
every morning when I rise
I stumble over my bed
and chest of drawers
and when I have nausea from drinking

then I only want to eat
when you are with me,
at times I want to taste you
like wild berries
and even in my dark moods
I want to fall
deep into you

I want to make you stop
when you whisper
about the words
of evil sailors
and I want to go along
when you walk the streets
as a part of your neuroses

your favour is almost honourable
and totally unrestrained
your honour is without guilt
blinded by sin,
blinded without comfort,
blinded from love
and totally immoral

yesterday just like you
I went astray
in your urges
for a long time
with a lot of skeletons
without any phobias
or songs

it teems with LSD
and you tell
without asking
and the message that I am getting,
is that you are
a sweet mother in Africa

[...] Read more

poem by Gert Strydom
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Georgic 1

What makes the cornfield smile; beneath what star
Maecenas, it is meet to turn the sod
Or marry elm with vine; how tend the steer;
What pains for cattle-keeping, or what proof
Of patient trial serves for thrifty bees;-
Such are my themes.
O universal lights
Most glorious! ye that lead the gliding year
Along the sky, Liber and Ceres mild,
If by your bounty holpen earth once changed
Chaonian acorn for the plump wheat-ear,
And mingled with the grape, your new-found gift,
The draughts of Achelous; and ye Fauns
To rustics ever kind, come foot it, Fauns
And Dryad-maids together; your gifts I sing.
And thou, for whose delight the war-horse first
Sprang from earth's womb at thy great trident's stroke,
Neptune; and haunter of the groves, for whom
Three hundred snow-white heifers browse the brakes,
The fertile brakes of Ceos; and clothed in power,
Thy native forest and Lycean lawns,
Pan, shepherd-god, forsaking, as the love
Of thine own Maenalus constrains thee, hear
And help, O lord of Tegea! And thou, too,
Minerva, from whose hand the olive sprung;
And boy-discoverer of the curved plough;
And, bearing a young cypress root-uptorn,
Silvanus, and Gods all and Goddesses,
Who make the fields your care, both ye who nurse
The tender unsown increase, and from heaven
Shed on man's sowing the riches of your rain:
And thou, even thou, of whom we know not yet
What mansion of the skies shall hold thee soon,
Whether to watch o'er cities be thy will,
Great Caesar, and to take the earth in charge,
That so the mighty world may welcome thee
Lord of her increase, master of her times,
Binding thy mother's myrtle round thy brow,
Or as the boundless ocean's God thou come,
Sole dread of seamen, till far Thule bow
Before thee, and Tethys win thee to her son
With all her waves for dower; or as a star
Lend thy fresh beams our lagging months to cheer,
Where 'twixt the Maid and those pursuing Claws
A space is opening; see! red Scorpio's self
His arms draws in, yea, and hath left thee more
Than thy full meed of heaven: be what thou wilt-
For neither Tartarus hopes to call thee king,
Nor may so dire a lust of sovereignty
E'er light upon thee, howso Greece admire

[...] Read more

poem by Publius Vergilius Maro
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Georgic 3

Thee too, great Pales, will I hymn, and thee,
Amphrysian shepherd, worthy to be sung,
You, woods and waves Lycaean. All themes beside,
Which else had charmed the vacant mind with song,
Are now waxed common. Of harsh Eurystheus who
The story knows not, or that praiseless king
Busiris, and his altars? or by whom
Hath not the tale been told of Hylas young,
Latonian Delos and Hippodame,
And Pelops for his ivory shoulder famed,
Keen charioteer? Needs must a path be tried,
By which I too may lift me from the dust,
And float triumphant through the mouths of men.
Yea, I shall be the first, so life endure,
To lead the Muses with me, as I pass
To mine own country from the Aonian height;
I, Mantua, first will bring thee back the palms
Of Idumaea, and raise a marble shrine
On thy green plain fast by the water-side,
Where Mincius winds more vast in lazy coils,
And rims his margent with the tender reed.
Amid my shrine shall Caesar's godhead dwell.
To him will I, as victor, bravely dight
In Tyrian purple, drive along the bank
A hundred four-horse cars. All Greece for me,
Leaving Alpheus and Molorchus' grove,
On foot shall strive, or with the raw-hide glove;
Whilst I, my head with stripped green olive crowned,
Will offer gifts. Even 'tis present joy
To lead the high processions to the fane,
And view the victims felled; or how the scene
Sunders with shifted face, and Britain's sons
Inwoven thereon with those proud curtains rise.
Of gold and massive ivory on the doors
I'll trace the battle of the Gangarides,
And our Quirinus' conquering arms, and there
Surging with war, and hugely flowing, the Nile,
And columns heaped on high with naval brass.
And Asia's vanquished cities I will add,
And quelled Niphates, and the Parthian foe,
Who trusts in flight and backward-volleying darts,
And trophies torn with twice triumphant hand
From empires twain on ocean's either shore.
And breathing forms of Parian marble there
Shall stand, the offspring of Assaracus,
And great names of the Jove-descended folk,
And father Tros, and Troy's first founder, lord
Of Cynthus. And accursed Envy there
Shall dread the Furies, and thy ruthless flood,
Cocytus, and Ixion's twisted snakes,

[...] Read more

poem by Publius Vergilius Maro
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The Georgics

GEORGIC I

What makes the cornfield smile; beneath what star
Maecenas, it is meet to turn the sod
Or marry elm with vine; how tend the steer;
What pains for cattle-keeping, or what proof
Of patient trial serves for thrifty bees;-
Such are my themes.
O universal lights
Most glorious! ye that lead the gliding year
Along the sky, Liber and Ceres mild,
If by your bounty holpen earth once changed
Chaonian acorn for the plump wheat-ear,
And mingled with the grape, your new-found gift,
The draughts of Achelous; and ye Fauns
To rustics ever kind, come foot it, Fauns
And Dryad-maids together; your gifts I sing.
And thou, for whose delight the war-horse first
Sprang from earth's womb at thy great trident's stroke,
Neptune; and haunter of the groves, for whom
Three hundred snow-white heifers browse the brakes,
The fertile brakes of Ceos; and clothed in power,
Thy native forest and Lycean lawns,
Pan, shepherd-god, forsaking, as the love
Of thine own Maenalus constrains thee, hear
And help, O lord of Tegea! And thou, too,
Minerva, from whose hand the olive sprung;
And boy-discoverer of the curved plough;
And, bearing a young cypress root-uptorn,
Silvanus, and Gods all and Goddesses,
Who make the fields your care, both ye who nurse
The tender unsown increase, and from heaven
Shed on man's sowing the riches of your rain:
And thou, even thou, of whom we know not yet
What mansion of the skies shall hold thee soon,
Whether to watch o'er cities be thy will,
Great Caesar, and to take the earth in charge,
That so the mighty world may welcome thee
Lord of her increase, master of her times,
Binding thy mother's myrtle round thy brow,
Or as the boundless ocean's God thou come,
Sole dread of seamen, till far Thule bow
Before thee, and Tethys win thee to her son
With all her waves for dower; or as a star
Lend thy fresh beams our lagging months to cheer,
Where 'twixt the Maid and those pursuing Claws
A space is opening; see! red Scorpio's self
His arms draws in, yea, and hath left thee more
Than thy full meed of heaven: be what thou wilt-
For neither Tartarus hopes to call thee king,

[...] Read more

poem by Virgil
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California has the highest number of illegal immigrants residing in its borders. The estimated number of illegal alien residents in California was about 2.2 million, or nearly 32 percent of the total number of illegal immigrants in the United States.

quote by Gary Miller
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Hospitals are closing across the country due to the burden of illegal immigration, college students find that summer jobs have dried up due to illegal immigration, and wages across the board are depressed by the overwhelming influx of cheap and illegal labor.

quote by Elton Gallegly
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Blame It On The Love Of Rock Roll

First time I heard the music
I thought it was my own
I could feel it in my heartbeat
I could feel it in my bones
My momma thinks Im crazy
My dad says Im insane
I got this boogie woogie fever
Thats burning in my veins
They tried to take me to a doctor
But its too late for me
Then they took me to a preacher
That they saw on their tv
Who said that for a small donation
My lost soul would be saved
I said I dont think so preacher
Ill come back another day
All I want, is to be a rolling stone
They dont understand what we all know
It feels so good that it ought to be illegal
I got my vaccination from a pornograf needle
Ill never grow up and Ill never grow old
Blame it on the love of rock & roll
My teachers didnt like me they always
Tried to put me down
cause I wore my hair too long
I played my music way too loud
Every little boy wants to learn to play guitar
So he can pick up all the chicks
And be a rock-n-roll star
They said it wont last, but they misunderstood
If people think its bad then Ill be bad for good
It feels so good that it ought to be illegal
I got my vaccination from a pornograf needle
Ill never grow up and Ill never grow old
Blame it on the love of rock & roll
Blame it on the love, blame it on the love
Dad dont understand what the little girls know
Blame it on the love of rock-n-roll
All I wanted, all I ever needed
My guitar gave to me
Every song Ive sung blame it on love
Every war Ive won blame it on love
Everything Ive done blame it on love
Blame it on the love of rock-n-roll
It feels so good that it ought to be illegal
I got my vaccination from a pornograf needle
Ill never grow up and Ill never grow old
Blame it on the love of rock & roll
Blame it on the love, blame it on the love
Dad dont understand

[...] Read more

song performed by Bon Jovi
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Blame It On The Love Of Rock & Roll

First time i heard the music
I thought it was my own
I could feel it in my heartbeat
I could feel it in my bones
My momma thinks i'm crazy
My dad says i'm insane
I got this boogie woogie fever
That's burning in my veins
They tried to take me to a doctor
But it's too late for me
Then they took me to a preacher
That they saw on their tv
Who said that for a small donation
My lost soul would be saved
I said i don't think so preacher
I'll come back another day
All i want, is to be a rolling stone
They don't understand what we all know
It feels so good that it ought to be illegal
I got my vaccination from a pornograf needle
I'll never grow up and i'll never grow old
Blame it on the love of rock & roll
My teachers didn't like me they always
Tried to put me down
'cause i wore my hair too long
I played my music way too loud
Every little boy wants to learn to play guitar
So he can pick up all the chicks
And be a rock-n-roll star
They said it won't last, but they misunderstood
If people think it's bad then i'll be bad for good
It feels so good that it ought to be illegal
I got my vaccination from a pornograf needle
I'll never grow up and i'll never grow old
Blame it on the love of rock & roll
Blame it on the love, blame it on the love
Dad don't understand what the little girls know
Blame it on the love of rock-n-roll
All i wanted, all i ever needed
My guitar gave to me
Every song i've sung blame it on love
Every war i've won blame it on love
Everything i've done blame it on love
Blame it on the love of rock-n-roll
It feels so good that it ought to be illegal
I got my vaccination from a pornograf needle
I'll never grow up and i'll never grow old
Blame it on the love of rock & roll
Blame it on the love, blame it on the love
Dad don't understand

[...] Read more

song performed by Bon Jovi
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Everything You Did

6:05
Outside the stadium
Special delivery
For hoops mccann
Brut and charisma
Poured from the shadow where he stood
Looking good
Hes a crowd pleasing man
One on one
Hes schoolyard superman
Crashing the backboard
Hes jungle jim again
When its all over
Well make some calls from my car
Were a star
Its a glamour profession
The l.a. concession
Local boys will spend a quarter
Just to shine the silver bowl
Living hard will take its toll
Illegal fun
Under the sun
All aboard
The carib cannibal
Off to barbados
Just for the ride
Jack with his radar
Stalking the dread moray eel
At the wheel
With his eurasian bride
On the town
We dress for action
Celluloid bikers
Is fridays theme
I drove the chrysler
Watched from the darkness while they danced
Im the one
Its a glamour profession
The l.a. concession
Local boys will spend a quarter
Just to shine the silver bowl
Living hard will take its toll
Illegal fun
Under the sun
Hollywood
I know your middle name
Who inspires your fabled fools
Thats my claim to fame
Jive miguel
Hes in from bogota

[...] Read more

song performed by Steely Dan
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