If you had a face like mine, you'd punch me right on the nose, and I'm just the fella to do it.
quote by Stan Laurel
Added by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
Real Gone Lover
Im a real gone lover
Im hip, Im in the know
Im a real gone lover
Im hip, Im in the know
And if ya love me one time
Youll soon come back for more
Come over to my pad
Come over to my pad and play
Come over to my pad
Come over to my pad and play
Like the old saying goes
When sunshines, lets make hay
Well, Im a nervous fella (hes a nervous fella)
Im a nervous fella (hes a nervous fella)
Im a little-little nervous fella
(hes a nervous fella)
Im a little-little nervous fella
(hes a nervous fella)
Im a nervous fella
Dont make me wait all night
Im a real gone lover
Im hip, Im in the know
(sing it with me)
Im a real gone lover
Im hip, Im in the know
And if ya love me one time
Youll soon come back for more
(come on over babe)
Come over to my pad
Come over to my pad and play
(come on over)
Come over to my pad
Come over to my pad and play
(come over baby) (ooo, Im comin)
Like the old saying goes
When the sun shines, lets make hay, ha
Im a nervous fella (Im a real gone lover)
Im a nervous fella (ho, Im a real gone lover)
Im a n-n-n-nervous fella (and Im a real gone lover)
Im-m-m a n-n-n-nervous fella (and Im a real gone lover)
Im a nervous fella
So dont make me wait all night
(sing one more time)
Im a nervous fella
(hes a nervous fella)
Im a nervous fella
(and Im a real gone lover)
Im a n-n-n nervous fella
(ooo, hes a nervous fella)
Im a n-n-n nervous fella
[...] Read more
song performed by Van Morrison
Added by Lucian Velea
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Punch & Judy
(fish / marillion)
Punch
Punch and judy
Punch and judy
Punch and judy
Washing machine, pinstripe dream
Stripped the gloss from a beauty queen
Punch and judy, judy
Found our nest, in the daily express
Met the vicar in a holy vest
Punch and judy
Punch and judy
Brought up the children church of e
Now I vegetate with a colour tv
Worst ever thing that ever happened to me
Oh, for d.i.v.o.r.c.e.
Oh judy
Whatever happened to pillow fights
Whatever happened to jeans so tight, friday nights
Whatever happened to lovers lane
Whatever happened to passion games
Sunday walks in the pouring rain
Punch
Punch
Punch and judy
Punch and judy
Punch and judy
Punch
Punch
Punch and judy
Punch and judy
Punch and judy
Curling tongs, mogadons, I got a headache baby, dont take so long
Single beds, middle age dread
Losing the war in the waistlands spread
Who left the cap of the toothpaste tube
Who forgot to flush the loo
Leave your sweaty socks outside the door
Dont walk across my polished floor, oh judy
Whatever happened to morning smiles
Whatever happened to wicked wiles, permissive styles
Whatever happened to twinkling eyes
Whatever happened to hard fast drives
Complements on unnatural size
Punch
Punch
Punch and judy
Punch and judy
Punch and judy
Punch
[...] Read more
song performed by Marillion
Added by Lucian Velea
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Prince Dorus
In days of yore, as Ancient Stories tell,
A King in love with a great Princess fell.
Long at her feet submiss the Monarch sigh'd,
While she with stern repulse his suit denied.
Yet was he form'd by birth to please the fair,
Dress'd, danc'd, and courted, with a Monarch's air;
But Magic Spells her frozen breast had steel'd
With stubborn pride, that knew not how to yield.
This to the King a courteous Fairy told,
And bade the Monarch in his suit be bold;
For he that would the charming Princess wed,
Had only on her cat's black tail to tread,
When straight the Spell would vanish into air,
And he enjoy for life the yielding fair.
He thank'd the Fairy for her kind advice.-
Thought he, 'If this be all, I'll not be nice;
Rather than in my courtship I will fail,
I will to mince-meat tread Minon's black tail.'
To the Princess's court repairing strait,
He sought the cat that must decide his fate;
But when he found her, how the creature stared!
How her back bristled, and her great eyes glared!
That tail, which he so fondly hop'd his prize,
Was swell'd by wrath to twice its usual size;
And all her cattish gestures plainly spoke,
She thought the affair he came upon, no joke.
With wary step the cautious King draws near,
And slyly means to attack her in her rear;
But when he thinks upon her tail to pounce,
Whisk-off she skips-three yards upon a bounce-
Again he tries, again his efforts fail-
Minon's a witch-the deuce is in her tail.-
The anxious chase for weeks the Monarch tried,
Till courage fail'd, and hope within him died.
A desperate suit 'twas useless to prefer,
Or hope to catch a tail of quicksilver.-
When on a day, beyond his hopes, he found
Minon, his foe, asleep upon the ground;
Her ample tail hehind her lay outspread,
Full to the eye, and tempting to the tread.
[...] Read more
poem by Charles Lamb
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The Kind Of Fella I Am
Well I dont like it when I see your eyes dartin
Back and forth across the room
And I dont like it when I see you doin dances
Baby that I aint used to
Chorus:
But thats the kind of fella I am
Thats the kind of fella I am
Im a jealous kinda fella
And I might fall in love with you
Im a jealous kinda fella
And I just might fall in love with you
Hey
Well I dont like it when you try to impress me
With your daddys jewels and his car
And I dont like it when I hear you talkin
bout your ex-boyfriend the movie star
What I like is when you walk me home
And you let me hold you tight
But I dont like it when I hear that you learned
All this from some other guy
Chorus:
But thats the kind of fella I am
Thats the kind of fella I am
Im a jealous kinda fella
And I might fall in love with you
Im a jealous kinda fella
And I just might fall in love with you
Hey
So look out
Chorus:
But thats the kind of fella I am
Thats the kind of fella I am
Im a jealous kinda fella
And I might fall in love with you
Im a jealous kinda fella
And I just might fall in love with you
Hey
song performed by John Mellencamp
Added by Lucian Velea
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Finding Oneself......... [EXTREMELY LONG; Growing Up; Relationships; Humor
Part One
When Bri was 13 and in grade 8,
he noticed classmates beginning to date.
At school (other) boys got their way with the girls with a kiss.
But Bri didn't have the urge; he thought 'what's this? '
He decided he should give it a try,
but each time he tried, the girl would cry.
Not only would she cry; she would run away and hide.
Bri felt between himself and the other boys a great divide.
Back home after school he'd seclude himself in his room and cry.
Through his mind was repeated the question 'why? ' 'Why DO they cry? Why? '
Bri was a straight A+ student with no flubs.
He played football but (except for 'Cooking') he joined not clubs.
After a few months Bri gave up (on girls) . He had NO close friends to set him right;
his parents should have known the problem, but they weren't bright.
In high school he took AP courses, and took 3 courses at a nearby college.
He ignored girls and sports and concentrated on gaining knowledge.
He got a full scholarship to Harvard, but his advisor looked at him funny.
By age 26 he had his PhD in psychology and started making money.
But he still asked 'why? '
It still bothered him and at times he'd cry.
Then waking up one day from a dream, Bri suddenly asked himself 'were they shy?
And if so, why with ME and not the other boys? Why DID they cry? '
The answer could be that his brain and looks were superior.
Were those girls only uncomfortable with boys that were inferior (to him) ?
If that really was the answer, he could now save face,
and could pursue women with HIS high level of brains, looks, and grace.
(But WAS it the answer? He was still not SURE why they did cry.)
For now he would work hard, avoid girls, and try to keep his eyes dry.
In two more years would be a second high school reunion. Thoughts of attending gave Bri a fright. (He'd skipped the first,5 year, reunion.)
But by going this time he might find out if his answer to his 'why? ' was right.
PART TWO
For two more years he waited anxiously for invitation he was dreading.
At times he'd awaken at night from a 'reunion dream', profusely sweating.
Finally it arrived in mail; it would be in June, before it got TOO warm.
He kept his calendar free for the whole month, doubting, at work, he could perform.
He got out the yearbooks his Mom had bought, and he studied each girl's name.
Would he have the nerve to ask them 'why? ' ….OR would he be too scared and lame?
He lived on sedatives for a week. He picked his favorite tie, and a light grey business suit.
Would he find out if the girls had just been shy, or would they give him 'the boot'?
[...] Read more
poem by Bri Edwards
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So It Goes
Life
Life
Roll my die
Roll my die
Change this life
Change this life
You said this movie was mine
You said this movie was mine
But now you go and change your mind
But now you go and change your mind
This is my life
This is my life
So it goes
So it goes
You come in on your own in this life
You come in on your own in this life
You know you leave on your own
You know you leave on your own
cause I dont need no cause
cause I dont need no cause
When my feelings fall
When my feelings fall
You showed me things I didnt want to see
You showed me things I didnt want to see
I dont believe that love is free
I dont believe that love is free
Sure fine way to treat a man
Sure fine way to treat a man
So it goes
You come in on your own in this life
So it goes
And you know you leave on your own
You come in on your own in this life
And you know you leave on your own
Life
This is my life
So it goes
Life
You come into this life on your own
This is my life
You know youll leave on your own
So it goes
Life
You come into this life on your own
This is my life
You know youll leave on your own
So it goes
Life
You come into this life on your own
This is my life
[...] Read more
song performed by Verve
Added by Lucian Velea
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A Fella With An Umbrella
Im just a fella, a fella with an umbrella,
Looking for a girl who saved her love for a rainy day.
Im just a fella, a fella with an umbrella,
Glad to see the skies of blue have turned into skies of gray.
Raindrops have brought us together,
And thats what I long to see.
Maybe the break in the weather will prove to be a break for me.
So Ill be the fella, that fella with an umbrella,
If youll be the girl who saved her love for a rainy day.
Oh, the raindrops have brought us together,
And thats what I long to see.
Maybe the break in the weather will prove to be a big break for me.
So Ill be the fella, the kid with the small umbrella,
If youll be the girl who saved her love for a rainy day.
If you will be the girl, the girl who saved her love for a rainy day.
song performed by Irving Berlin
Added by Lucian Velea
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Beaten To The Punch
You say that you can and then you run to get your mummy
And youre almost beaten to the punch
Looking for the man who sold you the dummy
And youre almost beaten to the punch
Laughing at the older guys who say its just as well
Saved by the wedding bell
Almost beaten to the punch
Youre looking for somebody new that you can knock around
You are almost beaten to the punch
If youve got a head for figures then youd better count me out
You were almost beaten to the punch
You pulled the piece but you soon called it love
You go hand in glove
Almost beaten to the punch
Your body speaks much louder than your voice
You let it do the talking so I dont have any choice
Now you find the younger guys are putting up resistance
And youre almost beaten to the punch
You better get out now because youll never go the distance
And youre almost beaten to the punch
Youll find a girl and youll promise her anything
Even a wedding ring
Almost beaten to the punch
song performed by Elvis Costello
Added by Lucian Velea
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Punch And Judy
Gather 'round!)
Punch and Judy did it truly and were married in a haste
In love, maybe, using the baby as a kind of romance paste
She's grown fatter, her hair cut shorter, looks much older than nineteen
He's a drinker not a thinker, baby spoiled his could have been
This must be make-believe
This must be make-believe
This must be make-believe
'Cos who do we know, dear, who acts like that?
oh oh oh oh!
Punch and Judy
Punch and Judy in a semi on a brand new council plot
Sunday lunchtime, beer-for-Punch time, while his dinner's far from hot
She grows tired, cab is hired, she goes round to see her friend
He comes back late, fool is irate, we will see his temperament
Punch and Judy in a quandary, she's walked out and he is mad
Now he's grown up, can't smash home up, retribution must be had
Punch and Judy had a baby who brought them to married bliss
Mr Punch has drunken hunch that he must punish kid for this
Punch and Judy
song performed by Xtc
Added by Lucian Velea
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Punch & Judy
Gather round!
Punch and judy,
Did it truly,
And were married in a haste,
In love, maybe,
Using the baby,
As a kind of romance paste,
Shes grown fatter,
Her hair cut shorter,
Looks much older than nineteen,
Hes a drinker,
Not a thinker,
Baby spoiled his could-have-been.
This must be make-believe,
This must be make-believe,
This must be make-believe,
cos who do we know, dear, who acts like that?
Punch and judy.
Punch and judy,
In a semi,
On a brand new council plot,
Sunday lunchtime,
Beer-for-punch time,
While his dinners far from hot,
She grows tired,
Cab is hired,
She goes round to see her friend,
He comes back late,
Fool is irate,
We will see his temper bend.
This must be make-believe,
This must be make-believe,
This must be make-believe,
cos who do we know, dear, who acts like that?
Punch and judy,
In a quandary,
Shes walked out, and he is mad.
Now hes grown up,
Cant smash home up,
Retribution must be had.
Punch and judy,
Had a baby,
Who brought them to married bliss.
Mr punch,,
Has drunken hunch,
That he must punish kid for this
This must be make-believe,
This must be make-believe,
This must be make-believe,
cos who do we know, dear, who acts like that?
[...] Read more
song performed by Xtc
Added by Lucian Velea
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Punch And Judy
Gather 'round!)
Punch and Judy did it truly and were married in a haste
In love, maybe, using the baby as a kind of romance paste
She's grown fatter, her hair cut shorter, looks much older than nineteen
He's a drinker not a thinker, baby spoiled his could have been
This must be make-believe
This must be make-believe
This must be make-believe
'Cos who do we know, dear, who acts like that?
oh oh oh oh!
Punch and Judy
Punch and Judy in a semi on a brand new council plot
Sunday lunchtime, beer-for-Punch time, while his dinner's far from hot
She grows tired, cab is hired, she goes round to see her friend
He comes back late, fool is irate, we will see his temperament
Punch and Judy in a quandary, she's walked out and he is mad
Now he's grown up, can't smash home up, retribution must be had
Punch and Judy had a baby who brought them to married bliss
Mr Punch has drunken hunch that he must punish kid for this
Punch and Judy
song performed by Xtc
Added by Lucian Velea
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Punch & Judy
Gather round!
Punch and judy,
Did it truly,
And were married in a haste,
In love, maybe,
Using the baby,
As a kind of romance paste,
Shes grown fatter,
Her hair cut shorter,
Looks much older than nineteen,
Hes a drinker,
Not a thinker,
Baby spoiled his could-have-been.
This must be make-believe,
This must be make-believe,
This must be make-believe,
cos who do we know, dear, who acts like that?
Punch and judy.
Punch and judy,
In a semi,
On a brand new council plot,
Sunday lunchtime,
Beer-for-punch time,
While his dinners far from hot,
She grows tired,
Cab is hired,
She goes round to see her friend,
He comes back late,
Fool is irate,
We will see his temper bend.
This must be make-believe,
This must be make-believe,
This must be make-believe,
cos who do we know, dear, who acts like that?
Punch and judy,
In a quandary,
Shes walked out, and he is mad.
Now hes grown up,
Cant smash home up,
Retribution must be had.
Punch and judy,
Had a baby,
Who brought them to married bliss.
Mr punch,,
Has drunken hunch,
That he must punish kid for this
This must be make-believe,
This must be make-believe,
This must be make-believe,
cos who do we know, dear, who acts like that?
[...] Read more
song performed by Xtc
Added by Lucian Velea
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5. A Punch-up
Punch and Judy always fighting
Crocodile is always biting
Baby crying Punch looks rough
Judy says she’s had enough
She leaves Punch to baby mind
He’s lost baby cannot find
Searching high and searching low
Punch thinks Judy mustn’t know
Judy’s back she had a hunch
With a stick she batters Punch
Policeman comes to stop the fighting
Sausages the croc is biting
Punch arrested took to jail
Judy searching starts to wail
Baby found beneath a bush
Fast asleep a little hush
Judy goes back to the station
Told the police with much elation
Punch released it made him smile
Till he got chased home by the crocodile
poem by David Threadgold (2008)
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Face To Face
We never talk to one another
We just disagree
Im the one who runs for cover
And you turn your back on me
They say nothings gonna last forever
But some things are worth fighting for
Yeah, well love could bring us back together
But love dont come round here no more
The words unspoken in the night
Locked away in my heart
And Im feeling out of place
But if love is the key
Let it open the door
So well be standing -- face to face
You never want to see me face to face
Think it over
Face to face
If only it could be just face to face
Baby you and me
Face to face
I may be better off without it
I cant go on this way
Time has come to talk about it
This is our judgement day
You know we swore it would last forever
Always felt so sure it would
But its looking like now or never
Time to turn a bad thing into good
The words that echo in the night
Theyre fading away
And theyre gone without a trace
Now its up to you and me
Lets open the door
And meet each other -- face to face
Its time we saw each other face to face
To talk it over
Face to face
You know its gotta be just face to face
Baby you and me
Face to face
We gotta see each other -- face to face
And talk about it
Face to face
Hope it aint too late to meet face to face
Just you and me
(solo)
Face to face
Its time we saw each other face to face
To talk it over
Face to face
[...] Read more
song performed by Foreigner
Added by Lucian Velea
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King Billy's Skull.
THE scene is the Southern Hemisphere;
The time — oh, any time of the year
Will do as well as another; say June,
Put it down likewise as the full of the moon,
And midnight to boot, when churchyards, they say,
Yawn in a most unmannerly way;
And restless ghosts in winding-sheets
Go forth and gibber about the streets,
And rehearse old crimes that were better hid
In the darkness beneath the coffin-lid.
Observe, that I merely say, on dit;
But though it never happened to me
To encounter, either in-doors or out,
A posthumous gentleman walking about,
In regulation sepulchral guise,
Or in shirt, Crimean or otherwise,
Or in hat and boots and usual wear,
Or, save for a cloud, unbecomingly bare,
Or in gaseous form, with the stars shining through him,
Beckoning me to interview him —
On mission of solemnest import bound,
Or merely a constitutional round,
Beginning at twelve as books declare,
And ending at first sniff of morning air; —
Though all such things, you will understand,
Have reached me only at second-hand,
Or third, or fourth, as the case may be,
Yet there really did occur to me
Something which I perforce must call
Ultra-super-natural; —
In fact trans-ultra-super-preter-
Natural suits both truth and metre.
There is an Island, I won't say where,
For some yet live who mightn't care
To have the address too widely known;
Suffice it to say: South Temperate Zone.
In that same Isle, thus precisely set down,
There's a certain township, and also a town —
(For, to ears colonial, I need not state
That the two do not always homologate). —
And in that same town there's a certain street;
And in that same street, the locals to complete,
There's a certain Surgery, trim and neat,
Kept by —— well, perhaps it were rash
To call him other than Doctor Dash.
At midnight, then, in the month of June
(And don't forget the full of the moon),
I sat in that Surgery, writhing with pain,
Having waited fully two hours in vain
For Doctor Dash, who, I understood,
[...] Read more
poem by James Brunton Stephens
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Nose
No one cares for the nose
To go nose straight is the tao
If there were no eyes
You could see better with your nose
If there were no nose
you wouldnot distinguish the sweet from the bitter
And there would be no value judgements in the world
And it is the nose that keeps you hot in the cold
And that keeps you cold in Jakodabad
The nose is the vigilant customs officer
That does not allow any drug to your lungs
And the nose cannot be bribed
Oh Nose! the customs officer of the body
And the pivot of value judgement in the world
If that name thou love
Remain with us and teach the noseless world
That it must have a nose in this wartorn world
He who knows the greatness of nose
Surely goes to the realm of rose
In the life to come
Hurrah Let us compose hymns to nose
poem by Dr. Ramesh Chandra Mukhopadhyaya
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VI. Giuseppe Caponsacchi
Answer you, Sirs? Do I understand aright?
Have patience! In this sudden smoke from hell,—
So things disguise themselves,—I cannot see
My own hand held thus broad before my face
And know it again. Answer you? Then that means
Tell over twice what I, the first time, told
Six months ago: 't was here, I do believe,
Fronting you same three in this very room,
I stood and told you: yet now no one laughs,
Who then … nay, dear my lords, but laugh you did,
As good as laugh, what in a judge we style
Laughter—no levity, nothing indecorous, lords!
Only,—I think I apprehend the mood:
There was the blameless shrug, permissible smirk,
The pen's pretence at play with the pursed mouth,
The titter stifled in the hollow palm
Which rubbed the eyebrow and caressed the nose,
When I first told my tale: they meant, you know,
"The sly one, all this we are bound believe!
"Well, he can say no other than what he says.
"We have been young, too,—come, there's greater guilt!
"Let him but decently disembroil himself,
"Scramble from out the scrape nor move the mud,—
"We solid ones may risk a finger-stretch!
And now you sit as grave, stare as aghast
As if I were a phantom: now 't is—"Friend,
"Collect yourself!"—no laughing matter more—
"Counsel the Court in this extremity,
"Tell us again!"—tell that, for telling which,
I got the jocular piece of punishment,
Was sent to lounge a little in the place
Whence now of a sudden here you summon me
To take the intelligence from just—your lips!
You, Judge Tommati, who then tittered most,—
That she I helped eight months since to escape
Her husband, was retaken by the same,
Three days ago, if I have seized your sense,—
(I being disallowed to interfere,
Meddle or make in a matter none of mine,
For you and law were guardians quite enough
O' the innocent, without a pert priest's help)—
And that he has butchered her accordingly,
As she foretold and as myself believed,—
And, so foretelling and believing so,
We were punished, both of us, the merry way:
Therefore, tell once again the tale! For what?
Pompilia is only dying while I speak!
Why does the mirth hang fire and miss the smile?
My masters, there's an old book, you should con
For strange adventures, applicable yet,
[...] Read more
poem by Robert Browning from The Ring and the Book
Added by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Death Of Cinderella
Im wise and ambitious,
And angry and free,
And smart and available,
And sexy...
Im soft and appealing,
And wearing pajamas,
And twisted and willing,
And crazy...
And this is the story of the death of cinderella
Shed grow to be a maid if she couldnt find a fella
Who can use her
And its all you could do not to throw her on the floor.
And thought-provoking,
And opinionated
Cultured and funny,
And experienced...
Fearless and tender,
And sweetly innocent,
Uninhibited,
Likes a good debate.
And this is the story of the death of cinderella
Shed grow to be a maid if she couldnt find a fella
Who can use her
And its all you could do not to tie her to the bed.
I could fall in love a million times before I die,
You could draw me a bubble bath,
We could walk into the sunset...
And this is the story of the death of cinderella
Shed grow to be a maid if she couldnt find a fella
Who can use her
And its all you could do not to throw her on the floor
And this is the story of the death of cinderella
Im gonna grow to be a maid and Ill never find a fella
Who can use me
And thats all you can do not to kick me in the ass.
song performed by Alanis Morissette
Added by Lucian Velea
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Stiff Upper Lip
What made good queen bess
Such a great success?
What made wellington
Do what he did at waterloo?
What makes every englishman
A fighter through and through?
It isnt roast beef, or ale, or home, or mother
Its just a little thing they sing to one another
Stiff upper lip, stout fella
Carry on, old fluff
Chin up, keep muddling through
Stiff upper lip, stout fella
When the goings rough
Pip pip to old man trouble
And a toodly-oo too
Carry on through thick and thin
If you feel youre in the right
Does the fighting spirit win?
Quite, quite, quite, quite, quite
Stiff upper lip, stout fella
When youre in the stew
Sober or blotto, this is your motto
Keep muddling through
(instrumental bridge)
When a bounder starts to hiss
You must give him blow for blow
Make the blighter say, whats this?
'ullo, 'ullo, 'ullo, 'ullo, 'ullo
Stiff upper lip, stout fella
When youre in the stew
Sober or blotto, this is your motto
Keep muddling through
Keep muddling through
Keep muddling through
Keep muddling through
song performed by Ella Fitzgerald
Added by Lucian Velea
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Frim Fram Sauce
I dont want french fried potatoes,
Red ripe tomatoes,
Im never satisfied.
I want the frim fram sauce with the ausen fay
With chafafa on the side.
I dont want pork chops and bacon,
That wont awaken
My appetite inside.
I want the frim fram sauce with the ausen fay
With chafafa on the side.
A fella really got to eat
And a fella should eat right.
Five will get you ten
Im gonna feed myself right tonight.
I dont want fish cakes and rye bread,
You heard what I said.
Waiter, please serve mine fried
I want the frim fram sauce with the ausen fay
With chafafa on the side.
~interlude~
A fella really got to eat
And a fella should eat right.
Five will get you ten
Im gonna feed myself right tonight.
I dont want fish cakes and rye bread,
You heard what I said.
Waiter, please serve mine fried
I want the frim fram sauce with the ausen fay
With chafafa on the side.
(now if you dont have it, just bring me a check for the water!)
song performed by Nat King Cole
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!