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Americans are apt to be unduly interested in discovering what average opinion believes average opinion to be.

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Average Guy

I aint no christian or no born again saint
I aint no cowboy or marxist d.a.
I aint no criminal or reverend cripple from the right
I am just your average guy, trying to do whats right
Im just your average guy
An average guy
I am just your average guy
Im just an average guy
Average guy, Im just your average guy
Im average looking and Im average inside
Im an average lover and I live in an average place
You wouldnt know me if you met me face to face
Im just your average guy
Average guy
Average guy
Im just an average guy
I worry about money and taxes and such
I worry that my livers big and it hurts to the touch
I worry about my health and bowels
And the crime waves in the street
Im really just your average guy
Trying to stand on his own two feet
Im just your average guy
Im just your average guy
Im just your average guy
Average guy
Average looks, average taste
Average height, an average waist
Average in everything I do
My temperature is 98.2
Im just your average guy
An average guy
Average guy
Im just an average guy
Average guy
Im just your average guy
Im just your average guy
Im just your average guy
Average

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Extraordinary

You think that I go home at night
Take off my clothes, turn out the lights
But I burn letters that I write
To you, to make you love me
Yeah, I'd drive naked through the park
And run the stop sign in the dark
Stand in the street, yell out my heart
To you, to make you love me
I am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me
I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho
You may not believe in me
But I believe in you
So I still take the trash out
Does that make me too normal for you?
So dig a little deeper, cause
You still don't get it yet
See me lickin' my lips, need a primitive fix
And I'll make, I'll make you love me
I am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me
I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
See me jump through hoops for you
You stand there watching me performing
What exactly do you do?
Have you ever thought it's you that's boring?
Who the hell are you?
I am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me
I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho
Average every day sane psycho

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Song: An Average Cyber Hero

I'm your average cyber hero;
I don't exist in space.
My algorithm's zero.
I lack all human grace.
I'm your average cyber hero;
And I know my cyber place.
But my wheels are real and turning,
And burning up apace.

I'm your average cyber hero,
Writ in glyph of lower case.
An avatar of Nero,
With a second life and face.
I'm your average cyber hero,
With a cryptic clue to trace;
And I'll out-google Google,
With an engine cued to chase.

I'm your average cyber hero;
But you may think me more.
In the binaries of Zeno,
I'm both paradox and law.
I am the master gatekeeper,
I open many doors
Of perception, in this nano
World, of educated spores.

I'm your average cyber hero.
And I have no warming breath.
I endure a kind of limbo,
That's near to living death.
I'm your average cyber hero,
And I'll dive your hidden depths,
To the clearest seas I've seen below,
Your permafrost and steppes.

I'm your average cyber hero,
Who explores the world within.
A giant, not a minnow,
But a true leviathan.
I'm your average cyber hero,
And I'll plumb your secret well,
To plunge like Captain Nemo,
From a fate not unlike hell.

I'm your average cyber hero.
I'm the ghost in your machine.
Both as sleuth and dogged shadow,
You'll not escape unseen.
I'm your average cyber hero,

[...] Read more

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She Believes In Love Again

I want her I need her
But I never let her know before
Kept her in the dark
Thought I lost her heart forever
She told me just show me
The feelings that you keep inside
And I promise that
We can put it back together
She believes in love again
She belives in me
Now weve gone far beyond
The way we used to be
And in her eyes from deep inside
She finally let me see
She believes in love again
She belives in me
I woke up I spoke up
And let her know the way I feel
Changes I could make
Wouldnt have to take a lifetime
She wants me she needs me
She always let me know before
And now its up to me
To give her all the things she needs the right way
She believes in love again
She belives in me
Now weve gone far beyond
The way we used to be
And in her eyes from deep inside
She finally let me see
She believes in love again
She belives in me
I just nearly blew it
How could I do it
I think about the pain I had put her through
God Im sorry
She said shed recover
If only Id love her
Shed open up her soul
And share her life with me
She believes in love again
She belives in me
Now weve gone far beyond
The way we used to be
And in her eyes from deep inside
She finally let me see
She believes in love again
She believes in me
In her eyes from deep inside
She finally let me see that

[...] Read more

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Someone Who Believes In You

Written by: neil diamond
Believe me
Im someone who believes in you
Say, you really had a million dollars
And a car for every day of the week
So what? you know what?
It wouldnt mean not a single thing
Without that someone
Who believes it too
Yeah, you gotta have someone
Who believes in you
Say, you really had a hollywood contract
And your face up on the big billboard
Big car, big star
Youd move a lot, but you wouldnt get far
Without that someone
Who believes it too
You better have someone
Who believes in you
You are the truest part of me
That quiet place where I can be strong
You come to fill my deepest needs
You call my name, and I hear your song
Believe me
Theres someone who believes in you
So, you really got the hots for stardom
All you need is some big guitar
To take you, and make you
Into an overnight star
And then youll find that
Stars get lonesome too
And you better have someone
Who believes in you
You are the truest part of me
That tender place where I can be strong
You come to fill my deepest needs
You speak my name, and I hear your song
So you really want a job in the circus
Paint you face and make the people smile
A clown, come on down
Youve been too long walking that high wire
When youre falling, youll be calling to
Be calling out to someone who believes you
Someone whos there when nobody needs you
Calling out to someone who believes in you

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Interested

Your favorite food
What you like to do
Your favorite color
or any other
The thing on your mind
That you like to share
Cause I can stay here
And listen to every word
Because I'm interested
Can I be an instrument
For changing your life
Is that all right?
Because I'm interested
I'd rather be with you instead
Than anyone else
Cause I'm interested in your middle name
Now don't be ashamed, Naw
It's between me and you
Everything you do
Let your guard down
Because there's a new girl in town
gonna turn it around
I hope that you are down
Because I'm interested
Can I be your instrument
In changing your life
Is that allright?
Because I'm interested
I'd rather be with you instead
of anyone else
I'm wide open
No more secrets
No lie
Don't wanna live like a fool
But I will
For you
So I'll beg
I'll scream
I'll call
I'll write
If that's what it takes for you to be in my life
Because I'm interested
And I'll be an instrument
In changing your life
Is that all right?
Because I'm interested
And I rather be with you instead
Of anyone else
Oh No
Because I'm interested

[...] Read more

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The Ballade Of The Average Reader

I try to touch the public taste,
For thus I earn my daily bread.
I try to write what folks will paste
In scrap books after I am dead.
By Public Craving I am led.
(I' sooth, a most despotic leader)
Yet, though I write for Tom and Ned,
I've never seen an average reader.

The Editor is good and chaste,
But says: (Above the public's head;
This is _too_ good; 'twill go to waste.
Write something commonplacer-
Ed.)
Write for the average reader, fed
By pre-digested near-food's feeder,
But though my high ideals have fled,
I've never _seen_ an average reader.

How many lines have been erased!
How many fancies have been shed!
How many failures might be traced
To this-this average-reader dread!
I've seen an average single bed;
I've seen an average garden-weeder;
I've seen an average cotton thread-
I've _never_ seen an average _reader_.


L'ENVOI


Most read of readers, if you've read
The works of any old succeeder,
You know that he, too, must have said:
'I've never seen an Average Reader.'

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Video

Sometimes I shave my legs and sometimes I dont
Sometimes I comb my hair and sometimes I wont
Depend on how the wind blows I might even paint my toes
It really just depends on whatever feels good in my soul
Im not the average girl from your video
And I aint built like a supermodel
But, I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a queen
Im not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what Im wearing I will always be india aria
When I look in the mirror the only one there is me
Every freckle on my face is where its supposed to be
And I know our creator didnt make no mistakes on me
My feet, my thighs, my lips, my eyes; Im lovin what I see
Im not the average girl from your video
And I aint built like a supermodel
But, I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a queen
Im not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what Im wearing I will always be india aria
Am I less of a lady if I dont wear pantyhose?
My mama said a lady aint what she wears but, what she knows
But, Ive drawn a conclusion, its all an illusion, confusions the name of the
Game
A misconception, a vast deception
Somethings gotta change
Dont be offended this is all my opinion
Aint nothing that Im sayin law
This is a true confession of a life learned lesson I was sent here to share wit
Yall
So get in where you fit in go on and shine
Free your mind, nows the time
Put your salt on the shelf
Go on and love yourself
cuz everythings gonna be all right
Im not the average girl from your video
And I aint built like a supermodel
But, I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a queen
Im not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what Im wearing I will always be india aria
Keep your fancy drinks and your expensive minks
I dont need that to have a good time
Keep your expensive car and your caviar
All I need is my guitar
Keep your crisp style and your pistol
Id rather have a pretty piece of crystal

[...] Read more

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Someone Who Believes In You

When there's a dark storm on your horizon
And you think you can't get through it
Just put your hand in my hand
And I'll show you how to do it
When the future looks uncertain
You can count on me to be there
And when your heart and soul are hurtin'
Just look and you'll see me there
Just follow where I lead
I'll give you what you need
A love that's always true
And someone who believes in you
So when you're searching for that rainbow
I will help you find it
And when a mountain stands before you
I will help you climb it
Just follow where I lead
I'll give you what you need
A love that's always true
And someone who believes in you
It's time to come alive
Your moment has arrived
I'll bring out the best in you
We can have it all
No, we will never fall
Looking down from our celestial view
Just follow where I lead
I'll give you what you need
And I'll tell you something else
You'll start believing in yourself
It's an easy thing to do
When you have someone who believes in you
Someone who believes
Someone who believes
I'm someone who believes
And you've got someone who believes in you

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Philadelphia Revised

The sad images of Philadelphia popped out of my eyes today
And I could see the streets of Philadelphia where the homeless sleeps
And freeze to death
While Politicians, doctors, Dentists, lawyers, teachers, and nurses get rich
Day by day
But the homeless freeze to death in the streets of Philadelphia and even die
But I have to ask all of you fellow americans where is your heart?
And doesn't charity starts at home first?
Don't you have anything at home that you could give away to the Homeless so they could have something either to wear or to eat?
Why can't we feed the homeless?
I can't understand you fellow Americans?
Please put yourself in their shoes for a day and try to picture what do they Have to go throw everyday
Is it right for the homeless to sleep in the streets and freeze and eventualy Die in the streets of Philadelphia?
Would you fellow Americans go few days without eating?
I don't think so
Why should the homeless that lives in the streets of Philadelphia starve?
Fellow Americans it is time to think about others and not just yourself Because others live In America just like you
Fellow Americans do you have a heart?
Fellow Americans did you ever learned to share what you have with Others?
Fellow Americans America is a sad world because we waste 98% of our Food at home, restaurants, and supermarkets
And all that wasted food ends up in the dump
It is so ashame and so sad at the same time
But the truth is that we are running out of food
And there is not enough food to feed anyone in America
But the cost of food keeps going up
Because we have to pay the American farmers who plants the food and Transport the food to the supermarkets

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Bishop Blougram's Apology

No more wine? then we'll push back chairs and talk.
A final glass for me, though: cool, i' faith!
We ought to have our Abbey back, you see.
It's different, preaching in basilicas,
And doing duty in some masterpiece
Like this of brother Pugin's, bless his heart!
I doubt if they're half baked, those chalk rosettes,
Ciphers and stucco-twiddlings everywhere;
It's just like breathing in a lime-kiln: eh?
These hot long ceremonies of our church
Cost us a little—oh, they pay the price,
You take me—amply pay it! Now, we'll talk.

So, you despise me, Mr. Gigadibs.
No deprecation—nay, I beg you, sir!
Beside 't is our engagement: don't you know,
I promised, if you'd watch a dinner out,
We'd see truth dawn together?—truth that peeps
Over the glasses' edge when dinner's done,
And body gets its sop and holds its noise
And leaves soul free a little. Now's the time:
Truth's break of day! You do despise me then.
And if I say, "despise me"—never fear!
1 know you do not in a certain sense—
Not in my arm-chair, for example: here,
I well imagine you respect my place
(Status, entourage, worldly circumstance)
Quite to its value—very much indeed:
Are up to the protesting eyes of you
In pride at being seated here for once—
You'll turn it to such capital account!
When somebody, through years and years to come,
Hints of the bishop—names me—that's enough:
"Blougram? I knew him"—(into it you slide)
"Dined with him once, a Corpus Christi Day,
All alone, we two; he's a clever man:
And after dinner—why, the wine you know—
Oh, there was wine, and good!—what with the wine . . .
'Faith, we began upon all sorts of talk!
He's no bad fellow, Blougram; he had seen
Something of mine he relished, some review:
He's quite above their humbug in his heart,
Half-said as much, indeed—the thing's his trade.
I warrant, Blougram's sceptical at times:
How otherwise? I liked him, I confess!"
Che che, my dear sir, as we say at Rome,
Don't you protest now! It's fair give and take;
You have had your turn and spoken your home-truths:
The hand's mine now, and here you follow suit.

[...] Read more

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She Believes In Me

i'm tossing and turning and i can't get to sleep
got something on my mind - i just can't release
then she whispers so softly - that she believes in me

if i let her down - and tried to disguise it
she always see through it always replies that
no matter what i do - she believes in me

all the times i failed - gone slighty off the rails
she's there to remind me - she believes in me
when it all goes wrong and i feel i'm own
she's there to remind me - she believes in me

don't get me wrong - i not some kind of fool
i give her my world if she asked me to
cuz here's no denying - she believes in me

but i'm only human - i'm just a guy
that sometimes makes mistakes and i can't explain why
some say crazy - but she believes in me

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Halo

Bright light city
Youre her religion
Superstars in their own private movie
Play just like children
Lies that take her
Places shes never seen
The kiss and tell of it all
To her it seems so obscene
Shes so pretty
Her hair is a mess
We all love her
To that we confess
She has a halo
We really do adore her
For she has a halo
Can we touch her
For their blindness
She sees much further
Like on a wide-screen viewing
Going down on her
Shes so pretty
Her hair is a mess
We all love her
To that we confess
She has a halo
We really do adore her
For she has a halo
Can we touch her
She believes in everything
She believes in nothing, in everything
Halo, halo, halo, halo
Halo, halo, halo, halo
She has a halo
We really do adore her
For she has a halo
Can we touch her
She has a halo
We really do adore her
For she has a halo
Can we touch her
She believes in everything
She believes in nothing, in everything
She believes in everything
She believes in nothing, in everything
For she has a halo
She has a halo

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Halo

Bright light city
Youre her religion
Superstars in their own private movie
Play just like children
Lies that take her
Places shes never seen
The kiss and tell of it all
To her it seems so obscene
Shes so pretty
Her hair is a mess
We all love her
To that we confess
She has a halo
We really do adore her
For she has a halo
Can we touch her
For their blindness
She sees much further
Like on a wide-screen viewing
Going down on her
Shes so pretty
Her hair is a mess
We all love her
To that we confess
She has a halo
We really do adore her
For she has a halo
Can we touch her
She believes in everything
She believes in nothing, in everything
Halo, halo, halo, halo
Halo, halo, halo, halo
She has a halo
We really do adore her
For she has a halo
Can we touch her
She has a halo
We really do adore her
For she has a halo
Can we touch her
She believes in everything
She believes in nothing, in everything
She believes in everything
She believes in nothing, in everything
For she has a halo
She has a halo

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Gertrude Stein is interviewed on American poetry

and there was the knocking on the door
that we were expecting
and it was the man
that we were expecting
with the questions we were expecting
to which answers were expected
by those who expect answers
as if life were like that
which for writers it is not

yes, tea was drunk
and after tea the tape recorder set up
so that what I said
I would continue to say
somewhere else
even when I changed my mind
here and nowhere else

and he said Ms Stein
what do you think of American poetry
and we said well it's American
and it's poetry
that's as it should be
and really that's all there is to say
and the man looked disappointed
so we asked him did he read poetry
and he said poetry no I dont read poetry
but my editor does
so I said it's really about Americans
living their lives
that's what American poetry is really about
because Americans move around
and so their words move around and
words in English have lost their intensity
but American words are always on the move
and they are more intense
yes, Americans living among Americans
and talking to their neighbours
if it's not about that
it's not really American poetry at all is it
if it's not about that
then why bother writing poetry

and the man was asking about a rose
being a rose being a rose and we said
for a hundred years the rose
has not been red in poetry
but now for the first time in a hundred years
the rose is red again

[...] Read more

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This Girl

Take me as I am
Though I'm good at pretending
I tire easily
And hurry to the ending
There's more than what you see
But not the way you see it
I hope you follow me
And you get the meaning
Here is where I stand
Here is who I am
And I'm not interested in
Fitting in
I only want to be
To be this girl
I'm not interested in
Giving in I only want to be
This girl
Take me as you will
Under no illusions
I offer myself whole
I give into you and I
Offer you the sky
The sun and moon and seas
But you need to know that I
Not more or less than me
Here is where I stand
Here is who I am
And I'm not interested in
Fitting in I only want to be
To be this girl
I'm not interested in
Giving in
I only want to be
This girl
I'm not interested in
Fitting in
I only want to be
To be this girl
I'm not interested in
Giving in
I only want to be
This girl

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Rougher Than The Average

R- ray a- anita
A: Im the a, the n, the i, t, a
Once youre with me, youll always wanna stay
cause Ill make you feel good. never blue..
To put it simple: Im a dream come true!
A: please, baby..ya gotta let me go
Of course ya wanna stay, ha, I know
But time is precious. time is money.
Im rougher than the average, remember that honey!
R: I live my life, do nothing to fear
Always tough, shed no tear
Bass in your face, the electric bomb
Dont just stand there...come on, come on!
The contrast megablast are for everlast
Ill put you down in a microphone contest
2 unlimited put you to the test..
Rougher than the average, yeah were the best!
A: rougher than the average; honey!
A: remember that honey!
A: most guys I love, some guys I hate
cause some guys underestimate
The things I do, and the things I can
Rougher than the average is what I am!
R: check me out while Im coming on strong
This is the ray, no, never do you wrong!
Always the right girls spend the night
Take you down as quick as dynamite
Rougher than the average, yeah, thats me
Fresh and dope as you can see
Girl, in my room, and in, out we go
Rougher than the average...let the bass go!

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Corpus Delicti

More germs are transferred
While shaking hands
Than are transferred during
Heavy passionate kissing

So if you don’t grab the hand
Of The next person you meet
And just kiss them instead,
just think of all the germs you’ll be missing

On average, women say
seven thousand words every day
while two thousand words
most men utter

That could be because
Women rarely pause
While most men’s minds
Are most oft in the gutter

The human eye blinks about
Twenty nine times a minute
That’s if your talking to
Your everyday schnook

Women blink about Four times a minute
When reading their average book
A man’s blinks can slow to one blink in ten minutes
While giving playboy a long leering look

There are approximately 550 hairs in one eyebrow
Humans lose 40-100 strands of hair each day
Men usually have full eyebrows and eyelashes
While their heads look like eggs in an unhairy way

The jawbone is the hardest bone in your body
the tongue is the muscle that’s the strongest
The average person spends 1/3 of their lifetime sleeping
And teenagers usually sleep the longest

A person in their lifetime will drink 16,000 gallons of water
While 10,000 gallons of saliva will go down
It only takes 17 muscles to make up a smile
While it takes 43 muscles to frown

In a lifetime the average person sheds 40 lbs of skin
100 mph plus is the speed of a sneeze
And your liver performs 500 functions within
Yet no one has yet timed the speed of a wheeze

[...] Read more

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Alexander Pope

An Essay on Criticism

Part I

INTRODUCTION. That it is as great a fault to judge ill as to write ill, and a more dangerous one to the public. That a true Taste is as rare to be found as a true Genius. That most men are born with some Taste, but spoiled by false education. The multitude of Critics, and causes of them. That we are to study our own Taste, and know the limits of it. Nature the best guide of judgment. Improved by Art and rules, which are but methodized Nature. Rules derived from the practice of the ancient poets. That therefore the ancients are necessary to be studied by a Critic, particularly Homer and Virgil. Of licenses, and the use of them by the ancients. Reverence due to the ancients, and praise of them.


'Tis hard to say if greater want of skill
Appear in writing or in judging ill;
But of the two less dangerous is th'offence
To tire our patience than mislead our sense:
Some few in that, but numbers err in this;
Ten censure wrong for one who writes amiss;
A fool might once himself alone expose;
Now one in verse makes many more in prose.

'Tis with our judgments as our watches, none
Go just alike, yet each believes his own.
In Poets as true Genius is but rare,
True Taste as seldom is the Critic's share;
Both must alike from Heav'n derive their light,
These born to judge, as well as those to write.
Let such teach others who themselves excel,
And censure freely who have written well;
Authors are partial to their wit, 'tis true,
But are not Critics to their judgment too?

Yet if we look more closely, we shall find
Most have the seeds of judgment in their mind:
Nature affords at least a glimm'ring light;
The lines, tho' touch'd but faintly, are drawn right:
But as the slightest sketch, if justly traced,
Is by ill col'ring but the more disgraced,
So by false learning is good sense defaced:
Some are bewilder'd in the maze of schools,
And some made coxcombs Nature meant but fools:
In search of wit these lose their common sense,
And then turn Critics in their own defence:
Each burns alike, who can or cannot write,
Or with a rival's or an eunuch's spite.
All fools have still an itching to deride,
And fain would be upon the laughing side.
If Mævius scribble in Apollo's spite,
There are who judge still worse than he can write.

Some have at first for Wits, then Poets pass'd;
Turn'd Critics next, and prov'd plain Fools at last.
Some neither can for Wits nor Critics pass,
As heavy mules are neither horse nor ass.
Those half-learn'd witlings, numerous in our isle,
As half-form'd insects on the banks of Nile;
Unfinish'd things, one knows not what to call,

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XI. Guido

You are the Cardinal Acciaiuoli, and you,
Abate Panciatichi—two good Tuscan names:
Acciaiuoli—ah, your ancestor it was
Built the huge battlemented convent-block
Over the little forky flashing Greve
That takes the quick turn at the foot o' the hill
Just as one first sees Florence: oh those days!
'T is Ema, though, the other rivulet,
The one-arched brown brick bridge yawns over,—yes,
Gallop and go five minutes, and you gain
The Roman Gate from where the Ema's bridged:
Kingfishers fly there: how I see the bend
O'erturreted by Certosa which he built,
That Senescal (we styled him) of your House!
I do adjure you, help me, Sirs! My blood
Comes from as far a source: ought it to end
This way, by leakage through their scaffold-planks
Into Rome's sink where her red refuse runs?
Sirs, I beseech you by blood-sympathy,
If there be any vile experiment
In the air,—if this your visit simply prove,
When all's done, just a well-intentioned trick,
That tries for truth truer than truth itself,
By startling up a man, ere break of day,
To tell him he must die at sunset,—pshaw!
That man's a Franceschini; feel his pulse,
Laugh at your folly, and let's all go sleep!
You have my last word,—innocent am I
As Innocent my Pope and murderer,
Innocent as a babe, as Mary's own,
As Mary's self,—I said, say and repeat,—
And why, then, should I die twelve hours hence? I—
Whom, not twelve hours ago, the gaoler bade
Turn to my straw-truss, settle and sleep sound
That I might wake the sooner, promptlier pay
His due of meat-and-drink-indulgence, cross
His palm with fee of the good-hand, beside,
As gallants use who go at large again!
For why? All honest Rome approved my part;
Whoever owned wife, sister, daughter,—nay,
Mistress,—had any shadow of any right
That looks like right, and, all the more resolved,
Held it with tooth and nail,—these manly men
Approved! I being for Rome, Rome was for me.
Then, there's the point reserved, the subterfuge
My lawyers held by, kept for last resource,
Firm should all else,—the impossible fancy!—fail,
And sneaking burgess-spirit win the day.
The knaves! One plea at least would hold,—they laughed,—
One grappling-iron scratch the bottom-rock

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