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If they knocked two of your guys down, I'd get four. You have to protect your hitters.

quote by Don Drysdale
Added by Lucian Velea
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Lies About Tall Guys

Just seems like it’s that way to me

Taller guys seem to get executive jobs
Shorter guys work mostly as clerks
Taller guys never seem to be slobs
Shorter guys always seem to be jerks

Taller guys seem to get all of the action
Shorter guys seem to be quite invisible
Taller guys always seem to deserve satisfaction
Shorter guys are lonely and miserable

Just seems like it’s that way to me

Taller guys just seem born to play sports
Shorter guys kinda seem to like tennis
Taller guys certainly look better in shorts
Shorter guys look like Dennis the Menace

Taller guys are usually at the top of their class
Shorter guys seem to fail quite a lot
Taller guys always seem to kick ass
Shorter guys want to, but simply cannot

sure seems like it’s that way to me

Taller guys get better grades and such
Shorter guys seem to barely scrape by
Taller guys seem to do better, pretty much
Shorter guys always wonder why

Taller guys seem to have eyes like a hawk
Shorter guys seem to wear glasses a lot
Taller guys cover more ground when they walk
Shorter guys, to keep up, have to trot

Sure seems like it’s that way to me

Taller guys and their friends look like N.B.A players
Shorter guys look more like cheerleaders
Taller guys seem to look like dragon slayers
Shorter guys look a lot more like bleeders

[...] Read more

poem by David Whalen
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Ahh, Let's Get Ill

I'm the Ladies Love, legend in leather
Long and lean, and I don't wear pleather
Last of the red hot lovin MC's
Lookin for a little, that's my theory
It goes quick like lightning, too exciting
Lover of ladies, don't allow biting
Level-headed leader, toy boy feeder
Good love life and a rhyme biter beater
Looking, learning, the one you're liking
Listen and you will love what I'm writing
Ladies love, long, hard and lean
And now you know what L.L. means
[ girls ] Aaaahhhhhhhh!
[ guys ] Let's get ill!
Come on now
[ girls ] Aaaahhhhhhhh!
[ guys ] Let's get ill!
Everybody
[ girls ] Aaaahhhhhhhh!
[ guys ] Let's get ill!
Everybody
[ girls ] Aaaahhhhhhhh!
[ guys ] Let's get ill!
Lightning in the sky, L.L. don't lie
I can hold a larger load than those other little guys
My literature is the land's highest law
The man of the brand, one you look out for
I'm loose like the lace in your brand new sneaker
Release the bass in your face like a large Vega speaker
Li-li-lis-listen to my rhyme
Here to satisfy the listeners who stood on line
Bought tickets to see me kick it and wasn't late
The love every little bit of the cuts he creates
First not last, leader of the class, see
From London, Long Beach, and down to Tallahassee
Ladies are pleased, I'm not wearin Lee's
The Kangol is mine, the godfather is E
I bust your lip, my level won't slip
Clockin crazy dollars on the L.L. tip
Come on!
[ girls ] Aaaahhhhhhhh!
[ guys ] Let's get ill!
Come on
[ girls ] Aaaahhhhhhhh!
[ guys ] Let's get ill!
Everybody
[ girls ] Aaaahhhhhhhh!
[ guys ] Let's get ill!
Everybody
[ girls ] Aaaahhhhhhhh!

[...] Read more

song performed by LL Cool J
Added by Lucian Velea
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Dead Guy Stickers

In the USA,
They want to put dead guy pictures on cigarette packs.
With that brilliant logic in mind, I say put dead guy stickers on:
car windshields(dead guys in wrecks)
pistol and rifle handles (dead guys shot)
marriage licenses (dead spouses)
hamburger and hot dog wrappers (dead fat guys)
pies, cakes (more dead fat guys)
bathroom doors (thousands of dead guys in bathrooms every year)
bicycles (road kill dead guys)
fire places (burnt dead guys)
swimming pools (drown dead guys)
every electrical outlet (fried dead guys)
air plane tickets (dead passenger guys)
the beach (shark bit dead guys)
cities (shot dead guys)
air (blue dead guys)
fish (poisoned dead guys)
motorcycles (more road kill dead guys)
scarfs (strangled dead guys)
football helmets (brain dead guys)
hot tubs (more drowned dead guys)
and so on.
Just about everything can kill you, such as:
Mothers (dead baby guys plus dead fathers)
Fathers (dead baby guys plus dead mothers)
Police(multiple dead guys and chicks)
Drugs (multiple dead guys and chicks)
and so on.
Once everything has a dead guy sticker on it,
You've been warned and the world will be safer, right?
It shows we care, right?

poem by Richard Jarboe
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You Have Not Knocked

You've never not...
Come to knock.
Come to knock,
At my door...
With words 'I told you so! '

You've never not...
Come to knock.
Come to knock,
At my door...
With words 'I told you so! '

When I had been in double struggles,
You have not knocked.
Or when I had been on my knees,
You have not knocked.
And when I felt grumpy and crunchy,
You have not knocked.
Or when I've asked you to leave me,
You have not knocked.

You know I can get really moody,
But, you have not knocked.
And carry drama to extremes,
No, you have not knocked.
You've stuck with me when I've been stinky,
And, you have not knocked.
To me you are my 'everything',
And I love you a lot.

You've never not...
Come to knock.
Come to knock,
At my door...
With words 'I told you so! '

You've never not...
Come to knock.
Come to knock,
At my door...
With words 'I told you so! '

Whenever I've been down and dumpy,
You have not knocked.
Or when I've picked my wounds to bleed so,
You have not knocked.
And when I pout with rudeness rooted,
You have not knocked.
Or when I whined consistently,
No, you have not knocked.

[...] Read more

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks

If your ass is a Chinese restaurant I'll have the poo-poo platter
My friend Jerry Vandergrift kissed me in Home Ec. class
Later in the afternoon some jarheads in the locker room kicked my ass
I said guys I'm like you I like Monster Trucks too
Wanna see how many push-ups I can do?
I just wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
But if I were handsome just imagine how great it would be
Incognito as gay though but not actually that way though pseudo homo phony
Maybe it's a stupid theory or maybe just stupidity
But if I was a queerbee in the fashion industry
Scoring with a super model would be easy
Cause 'super model' means voluptuous but is also is synonomous with 'super dumb'
Ya see I'd be a good listener so she'd treat me like a sister and soon I'd become
That trusted friend that cares that rubs her back and braids her hair
No it wouldn't be a week before I'm in her underwear
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
Doesn't matter what I'm packin' in my denim it's what's in my genes
The only smoked meat the only sausage I would eat is made by Jimmy Dean
See I'm not to keen on the smell of Vaseline
No I'm not Princess Di and I don't wanna be a queen
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks

Anyway if I were gay I'd have to change my name to Dirk or Lewis
Hang out with my mom's hair stylist his name is Kip he's got a lisp he talks like this
And wear my mother's lingerie learn the songs of Broadway
And appreciate Depeche Mode and avant garde ballet
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
And I don't shave my heiny
Don't shave my heiny
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly

song performed by Bloodhound Gang from One Fierce Beer Coaster
Added by Lucian Velea
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Protect Me From What I Want

Its that desease of the age
Its that desease that we crave
Alone at the end of the race
We catch the last bus home
Corporate america wakes
Coffee republic in case
We open the latch on the gate
Of the hole that we call our home
Protect me from what I want...
Protect me protect me
Maybe were victims of fate
Remember when wed celebrate
Wed drink and get high until late
And now were all alone
Wedding bells aint gonna chime
With both of us guilty of crime
And both of us sentenced to time
And now were all alone
Protect me from what I want...
Protect me protect me
Protect me from what I want...
Protect me protect me
Protect me from what I want...
Protect me protect me
Protect me from what I want...
Protect me protect me

song performed by Placebo
Added by Lucian Velea
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Girls Cant Do What The Guys Do

(reid / clarke)
Ooh, ooh
Guys are gonna wanna go out and play sometime
But girls you must not let it get you down
Just take this advice I give you
Just like a mother
You try to match a guys independence
You end up in the gutter
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
No, oh no
And, listen girls when you give your heart away
You can easily be hurt
And the least little wrong he does
Always seems like dirt
So take this advice I give you
Just like a mother
You try to match a guys independence
You end up in the gutter
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
No, oh, no, mmm
When you put your faith in one guy
(sometimes hell make you happy)
(sometimes hell make you cry)
Dont lose your self-respect
Tryin to gain revenge
cause no matter how you do it
You lose out in the end
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no

song performed by Dusty Springfield
Added by Lucian Velea
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Getting Bodacious and Less Discreet

The guys lay in secret with misters.
Laying discreeted doing dirty deeds.
Some downlow on hands and knees,
And all bugged out with plugged up mouths.

The guys lay in secret with misters.
None denying they've come out of the closet.
Few denying they now cruise on the streets.

The guys lay in secret with misters.
Some are married and some are not.
Some just started and they like it a lot.

The guys lay in secret with misters.
It may be caused by the economy.
With some feeling weakened,
With effeminate needs.
And some feeling weakened,
With a need to please.

The guys lay in secret with misters.
None denying they've come out of the closet.
Few denying they now cruise on the streets.

The guys lay in secret with misters.
Some are married and some are not.
Some just started and they like it a lot.

The guys lay in secret with misters.
Laying discreeted doing dirty deeds.
Some downlow on hands and knees,
And all bugged out with plugged up mouths.

You know the guys lay in secret with misters.
And getting bodacious and less discreet.
Getting bodacious and less discreet.

You know the guys lay in secret with misters.
And getting bodacious and less discreet.
Getting bodacious and less discreet.

You know the guys lay in secret with misters.
And getting bodacious and less discreet.
Getting bodacious and less discreet.

You know the guys lay in secret with misters.
And getting bodacious and less discreet.
Getting bodacious and less discreet.

You know the guys lay in secret with misters.

[...] Read more

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Protect My Heart

Here we go
Puerto Rico
I gotta protect my heart
I gotta protect my heart
You were the highlight of the spot
but you wouldn't tell me your name
You were like, Girl are you ready or not?
to dance the entire night away
You were like, Let me hold ya girl
You were sayin, Let me touch ya girl
You were sayin, Let me squeeze ya girl
You turned me on. Let me f*** ya girl
See, when I first got here, I knew love barely
I gotta protect my heart
Then ya come changin things, I knew that's unfair, babe
I gotta protect my heart
The room was oh so hot
If you won't move, then move out of the way
I'm giving it all I got
but at the same time trying to maintain
You were like, Let me hold ya girl
You were sayin, Let me touch ya girl
You were sayin, Let me squeeze ya girl
You turned me on. Let me f*** ya girl
See, when I first got here, I knew love barely
I gotta protect my heart
Then ya come changin things, I knew that's unfair, babe
I gotta protect my heart
Never been touched by the way someone moves
and that scares me
I gotta protect my heart
If Cupid knew you were comin, he shoulda prepared me
I gotta protect my heart
I I I I just I just, I just need to
Walk away from the door
But I could feel myself reversing
I never gave in before
See I guess that's what happened when
You were like, Let me hold ya girl
You were sayin, Let me touch ya girl
You were sayin, Let me squeeze ya girl
You turned me on. Let me f*** ya girl
See, when I first got here, I knew love barely
I gotta protect my heart
Then ya come changin things, I knew that's unfair, babe
I gotta protect my heart
Never been touched by the way someone moves
and that scares me
I gotta protect my heart
If Cupid knew you were comin, he shoulda prepared me

[...] Read more

song performed by Kelis
Added by Lucian Velea
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Rock Boyz, Rock

Junk food, radio, all the news and nowhere to go
Tv guide and the late late show I stayed late, I didnt know
Hold on you got me coming like a shot now from a gun
I said hold on, Im your hero, x rated #1
Tough boys, hot boyz, come on baby feel the noise
Tough guys rough guys no room for a compromise
Shifting metal, six string steel gonna move you like a (------)
Fire it up feel the pain Im gonna hit you like a runaway train
Rock boys hot boys come on baby feel the noise
Tough boys, rough boys, no room for a compromise
Rock boyz, hot boyz, Im gonna give you some bad bad noise
Tough guys rough guys no room for a compromise
Instrumental
Rock boys, hot boys, gonna give you some bad bad noise
Tough guys rough guys no room for a compromise
Rock boys, hot boyz, gonna move you with some bad bad noise
Tough guys rough guys youre in trouble well supervise
Rock boys rock rock boyz rock rock boyz rock rock boy rock
Rock boyz, hot boyz, come on baby and feel the noise
Tough guys, rough guys, gonna give you some bad bad noise
Rock boys hot boyz rock boyz rock tough buys rough guys rock boyz rock
Right between the eyes

song performed by Ufo
Added by Lucian Velea
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Guys And Girls

Guys,
And...
Their girls,
Together they seem better.

Guys,
And...
Their girls,
Always on their good behavior.
When there are no player haters.

New daters wish to play it safe!
Guys and girls.
They want to start out with clean slates.
Guys and girls.

When separated they nitpick.
Guys and girls
With a focus on their differences...
And accepted blemishes get dissed.
To bring division with a split.

Guys,
And...
Their girls,
Together they seem better.

Guys,
And...
Their girls,
Always on their good behavior.
When there are no player haters.
Since these haters love to hear...
Who broke up to gossip in ears near.

Guys and girls,
When separated they nitpick.
Guys and girls
With a focus on their differences...
And accepted blemishes get dissed.
To bring division with a split.
And player haters love to hear,
Who broke up to gossip...
In ears near.

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Added by Poetry Lover
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Let's Protect Them

Those animals who are so badly abused,
Please everyone, let's protect them;
For those scared puppies and kittens confused,
Let's all agree, and really protect them.

For those poor whales swimming and are caught,
Let's please, stick with me to protect them;
To stop the cruelty to them, for their bodies are they bought,
Yes'. Please every one, agree to protect them.

For those seals so far away, of whom are killed,
Please everyone do try with me to protect them;
To stop the cruelty of how their blood is spilt,
Please most certainly agree to protect them.

For the bears and cubs, locked in chains,
Let's all agree to really go to protect them;
The cruel owners, and no one explains,
Let's try all, to get help to protect them.

For the dogs and cats, away in a farm,
Lets each one say no, but protect them;
Each time we hear of this cruelty, ring the alarm,
Then agree everybody, yes! We will protect them.

poem by Margaret Haig
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Five Guys Named Moe

I gotta tell you a story from way back
Truck on down and dig me jack
Theres big moe, little moe, four-eyed moe, no moe,
Look at brother, look at brother, look at brother eat moe
Moe, moe, moe, moe, moe, moe, moe
Whos the greatest band around
Makes the cats jump up and down
Whos the talk of rhythm town
Five guys named moe
When they start to beat it out
Everybody jump and shout
Tell me who do the critics rave about
Five guys named moe
They came out of nowhere
But that dont mean a thing
They rate high and youll know why
When you hear them sing
High brow, low brow, all agree
Theyre the best in harmony
Im telling you folks you just got to see
Five guys named moe
Theres big moe...
Little moe...
One guy... big moe
Two guys... little big moe
Three guys... four-eyed moe
Four guys... no moe
Five guys... eat moe
Five little guys named moe

song performed by Joe Jackson
Added by Lucian Velea
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Protection

We don't need protection from terrorists anymore.
What we protection from is never-ending war.
Protect us from the propaganda.
Proect us from the lies.
Protect us from the legislation
set up to tyrannize.
Protect us from the vaccines
that cause more harm than good.
Protect us from the violence
that comes from Hollywood.
Protect us from injustice
emanating from the courts.
Protect our kids from drug enhancements
while they're playing sports.
Protect us from illegals taking all our jobs.
Protect us from the gangs and all the angry mobs.
Protect us from the wealthy who never have enough.
The terrorists are not coming.
It's time to call their bluff.

We don't need protection from terrorists anymore.
What we need protection from is right within our shore.

poem by Edwina Reizer
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Miracle

Believe in me for everything i was doing was right for you
and everything here resembles the reasons why i escaped for you.
We are in peace.
They will go and die in peace.
These feelings have knocked me cold,
These feelings have knocked me cold.
But where now?Where to hide?
But where now? Where to hide?
Come leave with me to walk through the desert, soak up all oracle.
And we will combine because you're my one and only miracle.
We are in pieces,
They will go and die in peace.
These feelings have knocked me cold,
These feelings have knocked me cold.
But where now?Where to hide?
but where now?Where to hide?
You will never know.
You will never know how much pain and hurt, there is burning inside my flesh.
You will never know how much pain and hurt, there is burning inside my flesh.
You will never know how much pain and hurt, there is burning inside my flesh.
You will never know how pain pain and hurt, there is burning inside my flesh.
These feelings have knocked me cold,
These feelings have knocked me cold.
But where now?Where to hide?
But where now?Where to hide?
You will never know how much pain and hurt, there is burning inside my flesh.
You will never know how much pain and hurt, there is burning inside my flesh.

song performed by Inme
Added by Lucian Velea
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Got to Knock Those Fences Down

We've got to knock,
Those fences down!
And every opposition,
Creating tensions mentioned.

Those defenses we keep hanging around...
Gotta be knocked knocked knocked to the ground.
Minimizing mistakes once made.
And lay purpose to correct our ways.

They will stand up in dismay,
To say they dislike what is said.
Those feeble beavers.
Munching on foundations.
Degrading with fixations...
To increase their greed,
Feeding sickened mentalities.

While some choose to sniff for floral scents...
Refusing to acknowledge,
The presence of decadence.
Hoping to get as high as possible...
On pretense and attempts,
For meaningless attention.

Those defenses we keep hanging around...
Gotta be knocked knocked knocked to the ground.
Minimizing mistakes once made.
And lay purpose to correct our ways.

We've got to knock,
Those fences down!
And every opposition,
Creating tensions mentioned.

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Added by Poetry Lover
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Protect The Future, Protect Our Children

(This poem is dedicated to the abused children)

It is more than a cliché to say
That our children are our future
They are in reality our future
Not our past or passé
We must protect our babies at any cost
From the West Coast to the East Coast
Day and night
They are our rainbow, our night light
Our angels, our bright light
We must protect our kids against all sorts of abuses
From Penn State to Rahway State
From New York State to Washington State
We must not tolerate stupid or noxious excuses
We must protect all of our children
Against all types of abuses
All the time, all the time
Dial 911, inform the authorities, so the scum can be booked
Or canned; so the Judge can throw
The books at the perpetrators of all despicable crimes
We must shield our infants with our rainbow
Against all sex maniacs who are sick in their mind
Our beautiful children are our future
Help them, feed them, and care for them
Don’t drag them in the gutter, in any mess
Do not abuse them physically
Emotionally or psychologically
Protect our baby sons and daughters
Protect our little brothers and sisters
Love them the right way
Pray for our children
Protect our little innocents
Use extraordinary common sense
Good morals and good judgments
When interacting with our little saints
Do not hurt our children
Protect the Future, protect our Children.

poem by Hebert Logerie (09 November 2011)
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Father And Mother Africa!

A STORY I TELL THEE OF FATHER AFRICA AND MOTHER AFRICA!
THEY HAD SERVANTS AND ARMIES TO PROTECT THEMSELVES!
THEY AND THEIR SERVANTS HAD GUNS TO PROTECT THEMSELVES!
THEY HAD NUCLEAR AND ATOMIC BOMBS TO PROTECT THEMSELVES!
THEY HAD WARSHIPS AND WARJETS TO PROTECT THEMSELVES!
THEY HAD SUBMARINES AND SPACESHIPS TO PROTECT THEMSELVES!
THEY HAD SATELITES AND VIRA WEAPONS TO PROTECT THEMSELVES!
THEY HAD SPIRITUALISTS, MAGICIANS AND VOODOOISTS TO PROTECT THEMSELVES!
BUT I AM BEATEN FOR HOLDING ONTO A PIECE OF NAIL TO PROTECT MYSELF!
MY HOME AND BELONGINGS FORCEFULLY TAKEN FROM ME!
AYE! THIS ENEMY, I AM TOLD IS MY FATHER AND MOTHER!
THIS ENEMY, I AM TOLD TO RESPECT AND WORSHIP!
IF THOU BE IN SUPPORT OF THEM!
THEN, I PRAY, MAY FATHER AFRICA AND MOTHER AFRICA BE THEY FATHER AND MOTHER!
AND MAY ALL I GOT FROM THEM BE ALL YOU WILL GET FROM THEM!
THAT I MAY SEE IF YOU WILL RESPECT AND WORSHIP THEM!

poem by Overlord Don Manuel Ihcakeyno
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Some Guys Have All The Luck

Some guys have all the luck
Some guys have all the fun
Some guys have all the luck all the luck
What you gonna do when your luck begins to run
Such a lucky dog it's good luck - push it
I get turned on by everything you do to me
Don't say you shouldn't do that
Push your hard luck hard push it
Oh, to take a kiss from lady luck tonight
Oh yeah I want to so much
Ooh the way it feels when you find out
there's a pearl in it
Girl the way it feels when you get it
Some guys have all the luck
Some guys get all the fun
I get to hear you talk, see you walk
Ooh take me in your arms and let your luck
begin to run
I touch you - alright
I thought my luck had held until you fingered me
We make a right impression when you hold me tight
Wait for a break, my lucky charm
Things are looking up alright - alright
Oh - to taste the lips of lady luck tonight
Oh yeah - I want to - so much
Ooh the it it feels when you find out
there's a pearl in it
Girl the way you squeal when you get it
Some guys have all the luck
Some guys get all the breaks
I get to roll my dice - ain't it nice
Ooh take me in your kitchen and we'll play
for higher stakes

song performed by Robert Palmer
Added by Lucian Velea
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The Noun Song

There are many types of different nouns
Plurals, possessives, and compounds
But today we are doing specific nouns
Listen first then sing it around!

This is the noun song
This is the noun song
Listen first then sing along
Listen first then sing along
This is the noun song
This is the noun song
Come on guys let's sing along
Come on guys let's sing along

Possessives are nouns that belong to you
Let's see what you can do
The more you use them the more you got
So come on now give it a shot!

FOR PLURAL:

The students' don't have any homework!
Apostrophe after s or it doesn't work!

FOR SINGULAR:

The student's dog ate his book!
S after apostrophe hey just look!
Dude this isn't a lie,
So come on now give it a try!

This is the noun song
This is the noun song
Listen first then sing along
Listen first then sing along
This is the noun song
This is the noun song
We'll sing it all day long
Come on guys let's sing along

Two words together is a contraction
Let me see, What's your reaction?
What's, let's, don't, can't,
You can do it,
YES YOU CAN! ! !

This is the noun song
This is the noun song
Come on guys just sing along

[...] Read more

poem by Mystykka Mysterious
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