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There is some sadness for me now about acting because it used to be that there was a reverence for actors.

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The Rosciad

Unknowing and unknown, the hardy Muse
Boldly defies all mean and partial views;
With honest freedom plays the critic's part,
And praises, as she censures, from the heart.

Roscius deceased, each high aspiring player
Push'd all his interest for the vacant chair.
The buskin'd heroes of the mimic stage
No longer whine in love, and rant in rage;
The monarch quits his throne, and condescends
Humbly to court the favour of his friends;
For pity's sake tells undeserved mishaps,
And, their applause to gain, recounts his claps.
Thus the victorious chiefs of ancient Rome,
To win the mob, a suppliant's form assume;
In pompous strain fight o'er the extinguish'd war,
And show where honour bled in every scar.
But though bare merit might in Rome appear
The strongest plea for favour, 'tis not here;
We form our judgment in another way;
And they will best succeed, who best can pay:
Those who would gain the votes of British tribes,
Must add to force of merit, force of bribes.
What can an actor give? In every age
Cash hath been rudely banish'd from the stage;
Monarchs themselves, to grief of every player,
Appear as often as their image there:
They can't, like candidate for other seat,
Pour seas of wine, and mountains raise of meat.
Wine! they could bribe you with the world as soon,
And of 'Roast Beef,' they only know the tune:
But what they have they give; could Clive do more,
Though for each million he had brought home four?
Shuter keeps open house at Southwark fair,
And hopes the friends of humour will be there;
In Smithfield, Yates prepares the rival treat
For those who laughter love, instead of meat;
Foote, at Old House,--for even Foote will be,
In self-conceit, an actor,--bribes with tea;
Which Wilkinson at second-hand receives,
And at the New, pours water on the leaves.
The town divided, each runs several ways,
As passion, humour, interest, party sways.
Things of no moment, colour of the hair,
Shape of a leg, complexion brown or fair,
A dress well chosen, or a patch misplaced,
Conciliate favour, or create distaste.
From galleries loud peals of laughter roll,
And thunder Shuter's praises; he's so droll.
Embox'd, the ladies must have something smart,

[...] Read more

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Maybe I'm crazy

I am not Emo
I’m not a Goth
I’m perfectly normal
But I know what it feels to be lost
Stuck in the crowd
Can’t hear a sound
Feels like I’m pushed back in the distance
Can’t come out
Do people see?
Do they believe?
Or am I just crazy from being lonely?


The words burst from my lips as I scream
But the people around me don’t seem to hear a thing
Am I invisible? Am I going crazy?
The world is acting like they don’t know about me
Am I forgotten? Am I just crazy?
Am I just lost? Am I just lonely?
Somebody hear me
Somebody save me

I check my phone, nobody calls
I can’t help, but feeling so forgot
I put on a show, nobody knows
Where did all the people I used to love, go?
I see a face, forgot its name
But they don’t seem to recognize me, anyway
All of my friends are with somebody else
And now I’m sitting here all by myself
(All by myself)

The words burst from my lips as I scream
(From my lips, as I scream)
But the people around me don’t seem to hear a thing
(But the people, don’t hear a thing)
Am I invisible? Am I going crazy?
(Am I invisible? Am I going crazy?)
The world is acting like they don’t know about me
(Acting like, don’t know about me)
Am I forgotten? Am I going crazy?
(Am I forgotten? Am I going crazy?)
Am I just lost? Am I just lonely?
(Am I just lost, maybe I’m lonely)
Somebody hear me
(Somebody near me)
Somebody save me
(Somebody save me)
Or am I just crazy?
Or am I just crazy?

[...] Read more

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Good bye sadness

Good bye Sadness
She is so happy now
That you are out of her mind
You finally vanished
Good bye Sadness
Why are you called Sadness?
Because that’s the name they given you
You make people cry
You even made her cry too many times
There was a dark cloud hanging in her eyes
For a long tine
And now it is gone
Good bye sadness
She doesn’t need to see you again
You are also painful
Good bye sadness
You belong in the sad Sea
Where the pain lays
Among the dead fishes
In that sad Sea
The oil from that big ship and vessels
Pollutes this sad Sea
She doesn’t want to be a part of the Sad Sea either
Because it is sad to see
All that wild life dies
Good bye sadness
You never had anything good to offer her anyway
Pain and more pain you brought her all through those years
But the truth is that she had to go through it
To appreciate the good stuff
Yes sadness I can tell you she went through with it
For a long time
Good bye sadness
Please stay away from her forever
She doesn’t need you in her life
Sadness breaks everybody’s hearts
Her heart was broken too many times
By you sadness
Good bye sadness

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I Find It Hard To Believe

I find it hard to believe
I find it hard to believe
That Im embarassed at me
For being upset
Over acting so contemptuously (I find it hard to believe)
Acting so contemptuously (I find it hard to believe)
Acting so contemptuously (that Im embarassed at me)
Acting so contemptuously (that Im embarassed at me)
(for being upset over acting so contemptuously)
Acting so contemptuously (acting so contemptuously)
Acting so contemptuously (on me)
I find it hard to believe

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The Apology

ADDRESSED TO THE CRITICAL REVIEWERS.

Tristitiam et Metus.--HORACE.

Laughs not the heart when giants, big with pride,
Assume the pompous port, the martial stride;
O'er arm Herculean heave the enormous shield,
Vast as a weaver's beam the javelin wield;
With the loud voice of thundering Jove defy,
And dare to single combat--what?--A fly!
And laugh we less when giant names, which shine
Establish'd, as it were, by right divine;
Critics, whom every captive art adores,
To whom glad Science pours forth all her stores;
Who high in letter'd reputation sit,
And hold, Astraea-like, the scales of wit,
With partial rage rush forth--oh! shame to tell!--
To crush a bard just bursting from the shell?
Great are his perils in this stormy time
Who rashly ventures on a sea of rhyme:
Around vast surges roll, winds envious blow,
And jealous rocks and quicksands lurk below:
Greatly his foes he dreads, but more his friends;
He hurts me most who lavishly commends.
Look through the world--in every other trade
The same employment's cause of kindness made,
At least appearance of good will creates,
And every fool puffs off the fool he hates:
Cobblers with cobblers smoke away the night,
And in the common cause e'en players unite;
Authors alone, with more than savage rage,
Unnatural war with brother authors wage.
The pride of Nature would as soon admit
Competitors in empire as in wit;
Onward they rush, at Fame's imperious call,
And, less than greatest, would not be at all.
Smit with the love of honour,--or the pence,--
O'errun with wit, and destitute of sense,
Should any novice in the rhyming trade
With lawless pen the realms of verse invade,
Forth from the court, where sceptred sages sit,
Abused with praise, and flatter'd into wit,
Where in lethargic majesty they reign,
And what they won by dulness, still maintain,
Legions of factious authors throng at once,
Fool beckons fool, and dunce awakens dunce.
To 'Hamilton's the ready lies repair--
Ne'er was lie made which was not welcome there--
Thence, on maturer judgment's anvil wrought,
The polish'd falsehood's into public brought.

[...] Read more

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Sadness Is Twilight

SADNESS IS TWILIGHT

Sadness is twilight
Sadness is old age
Sadness is the waiting
For one who will not come-
Sadness is this fading inside
This sinking we cannot define-
Sadness is this sadness
This loss of all meaning
And all rhyme.
Sadness is sadness
Fading and decline.

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A Poem For Singers Who End Their Song Too Soon

Those who are sad and listen to the night's song
And wait for the sadness to end
Know the sadness can never end
Even if the song ends many times

Night after night there are so many songs
And there is so much sadness
But the sadness never ends
Though the songs end

Sadness is greater than any song
Greater than any night
It goes on and on within us
Whatever the time and whatever the music

Life is a song of sadness
And when life ends
Perhaps then the sadness ends
But before then
Sadness is the song
Night and day and always
Sadness is the song we sing without end

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Geoffrey Chaucer

The Canterbury Tales; The Clerkes Tale (a)

THE CLERKES TALE - PROLOGUE

Heere folweth the Prologe of the clerkes tale of Oxenford.

'Sire clerk of Oxenford,' oure Hooste sayde,
'Ye ryde as coy and stille as dooth a mayde,
Were newe spoused, sittynge at the bord.
This day ne herde I of youre tonge a word.
I trowe ye studie about som sophyme;

But Salomon seith, `every thyng hath tyme.'
For Goddes sake, as beth of bettre cheere;
It is no tyme for to studien heere,
Telle us som myrie tale, by youre fey.
For what man that is entred in a pley,

He nedes moot unto the pley assente;
But precheth nat as freres doon in Lente,
To make us for oure olde synnes wepe,
Ne that thy tale make us nat to slepe.
Telle us som murie thyng of aventures;

Youre termes, youre colours, and youre figures,
Keep hem in stoor, til so be that ye endite
Heigh style, as whan that men to kynges write.
Speketh so pleyn at this tyme, we yow preye,
That we may understonde what ye seye.'

This worthy clerk benignely answerde,
'Hooste,' quod he, 'I am under youre yerde.
Ye han of us as now the governance;
And therfore wol I do yow obeisance
As fer as resoun axeth, hardily.

I wol yow telle a tale, which that I
Lerned at Padwe of a worthy clerk,
As preved by his wordes and his werk.
He is now deed, and nayled in his cheste;
I prey to God so yeve his soule reste.

Fraunceys Petrark, the lauriat poete,
Highte this clerk, whos rethorike sweete
Enlumyned al Ytaille of poetrie,
As Lynyan dide of philosophie,
Or lawe, or oother art particuler.

But deeth, that wol nat suffre us dwellen heer
But as it were a twynklyng of an eye,
Hem bothe hath slayn, and alle shul we dye.
But forth to tellen of this worthy man,

[...] Read more

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Geoffrey Chaucer

The Canterbury Tales; The Prioresses Tale

The prologe of the Prioresses tale.

Domine dominus noster.

O lord oure lord, thy name how merveillous
Is in this large world ysprad-quod she-
For noght oonly thy laude precious
Parfourned is by men of dignitee,
But by the mouth of children thy bountee
Parfourned is, for on the brest soukynge
Somtyme shewen they thyn heriynge.

Wherfore in laude, as I best kan or may,
Of thee, and of the whyte lylye flour
Which that the bar, and is a mayde alway,
To telle a storie I wol do my labour;
Nat that I may encreessen hir honour,
For she hirself is honour, and the roote
Of bountee, next hir sone, and soules boote.

O mooder mayde! O mayde mooder fre!
O bussh unbrent, brennynge in Moyses sighte,
That ravysedest doun fro the deitee
Thurgh thyn humblesse, the goost that in thalighte,
Of whos vertu, whan he thyn herte lighte,
Conceyved was the Fadres sapience,
Help me to telle it in thy reverence.

Lady, thy bountee, thy magnificence,
Thy vertu, and thy grete humylitee,
Ther may no tonge expresse in no science,
For somtyme, lady, er men praye to thee,
Thou goost biforn of thy benyngnytee
And getest us the lyght, thurgh thy preyere,
To gyden us unto thy sone so deere.

My konnyng is so wayk, O blisful queene,
For to declare thy grete worthynesse,
That I ne may the weighte nat susteene,
But as a child of twelf monthe oold, or lesse,
That kan unnethes any word expresse,
Right so fare I; and therfore I yow preye,
Gydeth my song that I shal of yow seye.

Heere begynneth the Prioresses Tale.

Ther was in Asye, in a greet citee,
Amonges cristene folk a Jewerye,
Sustened by a lord of that contree
For foule usure and lucre of vileynye,

[...] Read more

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The Prioress’s Tale [from Chaucer]

'Call up him who left half told
The story of Cambuscan bold.'

I

'O LORD, our Lord! how wondrously,' (quoth she)
'Thy name in this large world is spread abroad!
For not alone by men of dignity
Thy worship is performed and precious laud;
But by the mouths of children, gracious God!
Thy goodness is set forth; they when they lie
Upon the breast thy name do glorify.

II

'Wherefore in praise, the worthiest that I may,
Jesu! of thee, and the white Lily-flower
Which did thee bear, and is a Maid for aye,
To tell a story I will use my power;
Not that I may increase her honour's dower,
For she herself is honour, and the root
Of goodness, next her Son, our soul's best boot.

III

'O Mother Maid! O Maid and Mother free!
O bush unburnt! burning in Moses' sight!
That down didst ravish from the Deity,
Through humbleness, the spirit that did alight
Upon thy heart, whence, through that glory's might,
Conceived was the Father's sapience,
Help me to tell it in thy reverence!

IV

'Lady! thy goodness, thy magnificence,
Thy virtue, and thy great humility,
Surpass all science and all utterance;
For sometimes, Lady! ere men pray to thee
Thou goest before in thy benignity,
The light to us vouchsafing of thy prayer,
To be our guide unto thy Son so dear.

V

'My knowledge is so weak, O blissful Queen!
To tell abroad thy mighty worthiness,
That I the weight of it may not sustain;
But as a child of twelvemonths old or less,
That laboureth his language to express,

[...] Read more

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Happy

Sadness had been close as my next of kin
Then happy came one day, chased my blues away
My life began when happy smiled
Sweet, like candy to a child
Stay here and love me just a while
Let sadness see what happy does
Let happy be where sadness was
Happy, thats you
You made my life brand new
Lost as a little lam was I till you came in
My life began when happy smiled
Sweet, like candy to a child
Stay here and love me just a while
Let sadness see what happy does
Let happy be where sadness was
(till now)
Where have I been?
What lifetime was I in?
Suspended between time and space
Lonely until happy came smiling up at me
Sadness had no choice but to flee
I said a prayer so silently
Let sadness see what happy does
Let happy be where sadness was till now

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Goodbye Sadness

Goodbye, sadness, goodbye, goodbye,
I dont need you anymore.
I wet my pillow evry night,
But now I saw the light.
Goodbye, goodbye, sadness,
I dont need you anymore.
Goodbye, goodbye, sadness,
I cant take it anymore.
Goodbye, sadness, goodbye, goodbye,
I dont need you anymore.
I lived in fear evry day,
But now Im going my way.
Goodbye, goodbye, sadness,
I dont need you anymore.
Goodbye, goodbye, sadness,
I cant take it anymore.
Hello, happiness, wherever you are,
I hope you hear my song.
Never want to cry again
Or hold my breath in fear again.
Goodbye, goodbye, sadness,
I dont need you anymore.
Goodbye, goodbye, sadness,
I cant take it anymore.

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Goodbye Sadness

Goodbye, sadness, goodbye, goodbye,
I dont need you anymore.
I wet my pillow evry night,
But now I saw the light.
Goodbye, goodbye, sadness,
I dont need you anymore.
Goodbye, goodbye, sadness,
I cant take it anymore.
Goodbye, sadness, goodbye, goodbye,
I dont need you anymore.
I lived in fear evry day,
But now Im going my way.
Goodbye, goodbye, sadness,
I dont need you anymore.
Goodbye, goodbye, sadness,
I cant take it anymore.
Hello, happiness, wherever you are,
I hope you hear my song.
Never want to cry again
Or hold my breath in fear again.
Goodbye, goodbye, sadness,
I dont need you anymore.
Goodbye, goodbye, sadness,
I cant take it anymore.

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The Mind's Polarities

It’s said – and so it seems to be
that when the individual mind
emerges from that place where mind
rests, perfect, and in unity with all things to be known –
in that place, which is; within us, and without us:

that in that moment, as the mind expands,
and as its sphere within expands to match that sphere without,
polarities arise; such axis as may join them
to lie hidden and forgot; instead we see
all as remotenesses, that grow ever more the farther;

and then – the aweful nature of the human lie –
name them ‘opposites’… and in that step,
a further one, ‘duality’…

and so, condemn ourselves to fruitless life
where, across the vast mind’s sphere,
sadness – let’s say – sees, far off, that pure happiness -
too far, too far, to be within its reach…
and happiness, seeing far off, sadness, seeks in pleasure
to keep its distance…and so, the balance swings,
the world wags, and the mind knows only restlessness…

and knows, desire… how we forget,
we could not know desire, but that we knew
what desire desires; what’s missing in our world;
sadness, knowing the happiness; what would sadness be
without its knowing, in full, its happiness? ..

if we but saw desire as grace; looked at it with clear eye;
we might see, lurking there within,
beyond the warnings of its waywardness,
that holy thing that yearns alway for onefulness…

and as we have departed,
then by grace, so we return;
find by that third perfect point;
that eye that sees, from its eternal home,
duality to resolve in unity..
and all absolved, we’re absolute..

*

this, by mine own hand… writ
in a deep yearning sadness;
sadness that would fain convince itself
that happiness, this morning, is too distant; so, then,
to abide in sorrowed sadness

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The Beauty That Resides In Sadness

it is with great sadness that
i write
you a letter,
everything in it is all about sadness
it is not just about us
or you,
it is about the whole massive humanity
that is never drowned
with sadness but struggles in that ocean
of choices and so alone
amidst the
storms and the
other survivors

it is with great sadness that we gather here
and begin to hear
the sounds of all these forms and shapes and
colors of
sadness

i listen to you on an impromptu
and you listen to me
with all patience and with all sadness we embrace ourselves
share sadness with hugs and
at the end
we are filled with so much beauty
feeling so beautiful with
these massive sadness that
never leaves us free

we are bound, and yet when we face ourselves in the mirror of
ourselves
my goodness, we are so
beautiful

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Acting As Your Slave

My hand asleep for hours
Waiting for the needles to begin
I have no control
They proceed to penetrate my skin
Acting as your slave I drink for amber waves
I never have embraced
Acting as your slave I drink an open grave
An epitaph defaced
Killing with compassion
She hasnt heard a word that I have said
Swallowing your passion
I can see a thousand miles ahead
Acting as your slave I drink for barricades
That I have often raised
Acting as your slave I numb my head and rave
Of epitaphs defaced
Acting as your slave I drink while she forgave
With trials left unfaced
Acting as your slave I stumble to her grave
An epitaph defaced

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My Sadness Sleeps With Me

MY SADNESS SLEEPS WITH ME

My sadness sleeps with me
It wakes with me
It sings with me
My sadness walks with me
And smiles with me
And laughs with me
My sadness stays with me
And does not want to go anywhere without me
My sadness is me
And I am my sadness
All the way
To the end
Sadness in me as my sad friend.

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The Sadness Of Loneliness

THE SADNESS OF LONELINESS

The sadness of loneliness-
I had forgotten it-
I have been away for a long time
But now in the late afternoon
In the quiet and emptiness
Of the usually bustling streets
It comes back to me quietly-

The sadness of loneliness
That we are alone in the world
Each one of us alone
And that sometimes no matter
Where we are
We remember it-

The sadness of loneliness
A Quiet sadness
A sad sadness
A lonely sadness
Alone.

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Split Screen Sadness

And I don't know where you went when you left me but
But, says here in the water you must be gone by now
I can tell somehow
One hand on the trigger of the telephone
Wondering when the call comes
When you say it's alright
You got you heart right
Maybe I'll sleep inside my coat and
Wait on the porch 'till you come back home
Oh, right
I can't find a flight
We share the sadness
Split screen sadness
Two wrongs make it all alright tonight
All you need is love is a lie 'cause
We had love but we still said goodbye
Now we're tired, battered fighters
And it stings when it's nobody's fault
'Cause there's nothing to blame at the drop of your name
It's only the air you took and the breath you left
Maybe I'll sleep inside my coat and
Wait on the porch 'till you come back home
Oh, right
I can't find a flight
So I'll check the weather wherever you are
'Cause I wanna know if you can see the stars tonight
It might be my only right
We share the sadness
Split screen sadness
I called
Because
I just
Need to feel you on the line
Don't hang up this time
And I know it was me who called it over but
I still wish you'd fought me 'till your dying day
Don't let me get away
'Cause I can't wait to figure out what's wrong with me
So I can say this is the way that I used to be
There's no substitute for time
Or for the sadness
Split screen sadness
We share the sadness

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It Isn't Yours To Keep To Have It

Move from an attitude to lose.
You can dry your eyes,
To stop a weeping that you do.

Do what it is you must do to know...
A dipping into pity pools,
Will hurt you more!

Choose not to be a recluse to show...
You've included sadness,
As an automatic habit.

Choose not to be a recluse to show...
You've included sadness,
As an automatic habit.

Do what it is you must do to know...
A dipping into pity pools,
Will hurt you more!

Move from an attitude to lose.
You can dry your eyes,
To stop a weeping that you do.

Choose not to be a recluse to show...
You've included sadness,
As an automatic habit.

Let go of all that sadness,
That for you is automatic.
Let go of all that sadness,
Like it's yours to keep to have it.

Move.
It isn't yours to keep to have it.
Move.
You've made your sadness automatic.
Move.
It isn't yours to keep to have it.
Move.
You've made your sadness automatic.

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