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First of all I thought it was ugly, I thought it was ridiculous that undercover police guys would drive a striped tomato and I've never been a big champion of Ford.

quote by Paul M. Glaser
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Adrienne Vittadini

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poem by Caasder Fronds
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Ford O' Kabul River

Kabul town's by Kabul river --
Blow the bugle, draw the sword --
There I lef' my mate for ever,
Wet an' drippin' by the ford.
Ford, ford, ford o' Kabul river,
Ford o' Kabul river in the dark!
There's the river up and brimmin', an' there's 'arf a squadron swimmin'
'Cross the ford o' Kabul river in the dark.

Kabul town's a blasted place --
Blow the bugle, draw the sword --
'Strewth I sha'n't forget 'is face
Wet an' drippin' by the ford!
Ford, ford, ford o' Kabul river,
Ford o' Kabul river in the dark!
Keep the crossing-stakes beside you, an' they will surely guide you
'Cross the ford o' Kabul river in the dark.

Kabul town is sun and dust --
Blow the bugle, draw the sword --
I'd ha' sooner drownded fust
'Stead of 'im beside the ford.
Ford, ford, ford o' Kabul river,
Ford o' Kabul river in the dark!
You can 'ear the 'orses threshin', you can 'ear the men a-splashin',
'Cross the ford o' Kabul river in the dark.

Kabul town was ours to take --
Blow the bugle, draw the sword --
I'd ha' left it for 'is sake --
'Im that left me by the ford.
Ford, ford, ford o' Kabul river,
Ford o' Kabul river in the dark!
It's none so bloomin' dry there; ain't you never comin' nigh there,
'Cross the ford o' Kabul river in the dark?

Kabul town'll go to hell --
Blow the bugle, draw the sword --
'Fore I see him 'live an' well --
'Im the best beside the ford.
Ford, ford, ford o' Kabul river,
Ford o' Kabul river in the dark!
Gawd 'elp 'em if they blunder, for their boots'll pull 'em under,
By the ford o' Kabul river in the dark.

Turn your 'orse from Kabul town --
Blow the bugle, draw the sword --
'Im an' 'arf my troop is down,
Down an' drownded by the ford.
Ford, ford, ford o' Kabul river,

[...] Read more

poem by Rudyard Kipling
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Lies About Tall Guys

Just seems like it’s that way to me

Taller guys seem to get executive jobs
Shorter guys work mostly as clerks
Taller guys never seem to be slobs
Shorter guys always seem to be jerks

Taller guys seem to get all of the action
Shorter guys seem to be quite invisible
Taller guys always seem to deserve satisfaction
Shorter guys are lonely and miserable

Just seems like it’s that way to me

Taller guys just seem born to play sports
Shorter guys kinda seem to like tennis
Taller guys certainly look better in shorts
Shorter guys look like Dennis the Menace

Taller guys are usually at the top of their class
Shorter guys seem to fail quite a lot
Taller guys always seem to kick ass
Shorter guys want to, but simply cannot

sure seems like it’s that way to me

Taller guys get better grades and such
Shorter guys seem to barely scrape by
Taller guys seem to do better, pretty much
Shorter guys always wonder why

Taller guys seem to have eyes like a hawk
Shorter guys seem to wear glasses a lot
Taller guys cover more ground when they walk
Shorter guys, to keep up, have to trot

Sure seems like it’s that way to me

Taller guys and their friends look like N.B.A players
Shorter guys look more like cheerleaders
Taller guys seem to look like dragon slayers
Shorter guys look a lot more like bleeders

[...] Read more

poem by David Whalen
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Trash Bag

1 bag cement mold
10 inch leather titleist golf bag
2006 kia rio side air bags
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306 leather tour sissy bag

[...] Read more

poem by Rwetewrt Erwtwer
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Undercover

Oh, sweet darling, kick your shoes off,
Let your hair down, get in bed;
Come and lie down here beside me,
Chase the demons from my head.
Oh this day had been a devil,
Come here angel make it right,
Undercover heavens waitin,
Will you take me there tonight?
Undercover angels hover,
As we fell in love in bed,
Undercover words are uttered,
Even though its never said,
Undercover I would rather,
Be with you than anywhere,
We are undercover lovers,
And I run to meet you there.
Private eyes and private moments,
Private words and flying sparks,
Sharing fantasies and secrets,
Fiery kisses and racing hearts,
Its a sacred place we go to,
Magical and sexy too,
And when we go undercover,
There is only me and you.
Undercover we discover,
Theres another world inside,
Besides this crazy world we live in,
We can leave it all outside,
Oh, undercover.
Come here darling let me hold you,
Jump in here beside of me,
When the world is blown to pieces,
You can always come to me,
Let me touch you, let me kiss you;
You dont have to say a word,
What you tell me with your body,
Beats all Ive ever heard.
Undercover angels hover,
As we cuddle up in bed,
Undercover run to other,
Even though its never said,
Undercover I would rather,
Be with you than anywhere,
We are undercover lovers,
And I run to meet you there.
Come and lay down by my side,
Undercover heavens waitin,
And were going there,
Going there, going there right now...

song performed by Kenny Rogers
Added by Lucian Velea
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Top Of The Game

Sean Paul (ft. Rahzel) - Top Of The Game
[Rahzel]
(Beat Box)
Come Down
Sean Paul, Sean Paul, Number one
Rahzel, Champion
Sean Paul, Sean Paul, Numba One
Sean Paul, Champion
Numba one, Champion
It's the return of the microphone fiend
I'll be the first nigga to split ya spleen
And Pig ya vision leave ya catarax splitscreen
You'lll be asked out, passed out like mitch green
Fight Club, From a Brad Pitt scene
I'm a SWAT team swingin' the got sixteen
A pimpstein that's makin' ya chicks scream
Download my digital, digital voice screen
Quartermatic widescreen
Low rider with dem' funky eye beams
I'm bad freakin' her back seat
named mean lean
last week ___ full swing
For my brothers' locked down from GP to Tsing Tsing
Sean Paul ( Beat Box) Dance hall, Dance hall, king
The track like a puppet on a string
[Sean Paul]
Patois, I don't know what he's sayin' here, need some help here???
[Chorus]
Top of the game, I'm playin'
Numba One
nobody cyaan hold my flame
Champion
Tell dem' again and again
Numba one
we ready fi drive dem' insane
Champion
Top of the game, I'm playin'
Numba One
nobody cyaan hold my flame
Champion
Tell dem' again and again
Numba one
we ready fi drive dem' insane
Champion
More Patois...
Fi music is in my heart
and it's in my brain
and inna mi soul ______
and vibe dem start so u cyaan complain
When deh music hitta oh u feel no pain

[...] Read more

song performed by Sean Paul
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Ahh, Let's Get Ill

I'm the Ladies Love, legend in leather
Long and lean, and I don't wear pleather
Last of the red hot lovin MC's
Lookin for a little, that's my theory
It goes quick like lightning, too exciting
Lover of ladies, don't allow biting
Level-headed leader, toy boy feeder
Good love life and a rhyme biter beater
Looking, learning, the one you're liking
Listen and you will love what I'm writing
Ladies love, long, hard and lean
And now you know what L.L. means
[ girls ] Aaaahhhhhhhh!
[ guys ] Let's get ill!
Come on now
[ girls ] Aaaahhhhhhhh!
[ guys ] Let's get ill!
Everybody
[ girls ] Aaaahhhhhhhh!
[ guys ] Let's get ill!
Everybody
[ girls ] Aaaahhhhhhhh!
[ guys ] Let's get ill!
Lightning in the sky, L.L. don't lie
I can hold a larger load than those other little guys
My literature is the land's highest law
The man of the brand, one you look out for
I'm loose like the lace in your brand new sneaker
Release the bass in your face like a large Vega speaker
Li-li-lis-listen to my rhyme
Here to satisfy the listeners who stood on line
Bought tickets to see me kick it and wasn't late
The love every little bit of the cuts he creates
First not last, leader of the class, see
From London, Long Beach, and down to Tallahassee
Ladies are pleased, I'm not wearin Lee's
The Kangol is mine, the godfather is E
I bust your lip, my level won't slip
Clockin crazy dollars on the L.L. tip
Come on!
[ girls ] Aaaahhhhhhhh!
[ guys ] Let's get ill!
Come on
[ girls ] Aaaahhhhhhhh!
[ guys ] Let's get ill!
Everybody
[ girls ] Aaaahhhhhhhh!
[ guys ] Let's get ill!
Everybody
[ girls ] Aaaahhhhhhhh!

[...] Read more

song performed by LL Cool J
Added by Lucian Velea
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Undercover Of The Night

Hear the screams of Center 42
Loud enough to bust your brains out
The opposition's tongue is cut in two
Keep off the street 'cause you're in danger

One hundred thousand disparus
Lost in the jails in South America
Cuddle up baby
Cuddle up tight
Cuddle up baby
Keep it all out of sight
Undercover
Keep it all out of sight
Undercover of the night

The sex police are out there on the streets
Make sure the pass laws are not broken
The race militia has got itchy fingers
All the way from New York back to Africa

Cuddle up baby
Keep it all out of sight
Cuddle up baby
Sleep with all out of sight
Cuddle up baby
Keep it all out of sight
Undercover
Undercover
Undercover
Keep it all out of sight
Undercover of the night

All the young men they've been rounded up
And sent to camps back in the jungle
And people whisper people double-talk
And once proud fathers act so humble
All the young girls they have got the blues
They're heading on back to Center 42

Keep it undercover
Keep it all out of sight
Keep it undercover
Keep it all out of sight
Undercover
Keep it all out of sight
Undercover
Keep it all out of sight
Undercover of the night

Down in the bars the girls are painted blue

[...] Read more

song performed by Rolling Stones from Under Cover
Added by Lucian Velea
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Dead Guy Stickers

In the USA,
They want to put dead guy pictures on cigarette packs.
With that brilliant logic in mind, I say put dead guy stickers on:
car windshields(dead guys in wrecks)
pistol and rifle handles (dead guys shot)
marriage licenses (dead spouses)
hamburger and hot dog wrappers (dead fat guys)
pies, cakes (more dead fat guys)
bathroom doors (thousands of dead guys in bathrooms every year)
bicycles (road kill dead guys)
fire places (burnt dead guys)
swimming pools (drown dead guys)
every electrical outlet (fried dead guys)
air plane tickets (dead passenger guys)
the beach (shark bit dead guys)
cities (shot dead guys)
air (blue dead guys)
fish (poisoned dead guys)
motorcycles (more road kill dead guys)
scarfs (strangled dead guys)
football helmets (brain dead guys)
hot tubs (more drowned dead guys)
and so on.
Just about everything can kill you, such as:
Mothers (dead baby guys plus dead fathers)
Fathers (dead baby guys plus dead mothers)
Police(multiple dead guys and chicks)
Drugs (multiple dead guys and chicks)
and so on.
Once everything has a dead guy sticker on it,
You've been warned and the world will be safer, right?
It shows we care, right?

poem by Richard Jarboe
Added by Poetry Lover
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Big Night

Oh, it's gonna be a big night
We're gonna have a good time
It's gonna be a big, big, big, big, big, big night

1,2,3, all my boys and girls
We gonna party like it's the end of the world
Let's get it started, started, started, whoa, oh

Waitin' on weekends it's Friday night
We gonna get dressed up
For the time of our lives
Let's get it started, started, started

'Cause I've been feelin' down, down, down
I need a pick me up, round, round, round
I wanna spin it up loud, loud, loud
DJ take me away

Oh
It's gonna be a big night
We're gonna have a good time
It's gonna be a big, big, big, big, big, big night

Oh
It's gonna be a big night
We gonna have a good time
It's gonna be a big, big, big, big, big, big night

It's been a long week
Been workin' overtime
I need a heartbeat
To get this party right

I'm on another level
Turn up the bass and treble
Turn it up, turn it up, turn it up

'Cause I've been feelin' down, down, down
I need a pick me up, round, round, round
I wanna spin it up loud, loud, loud
DJ take me away

Oh
It's gonna be a big night
We gonna have a good time
It's gonna be a big, big, big, big, big, big night

Oh
It's gonna be a big night
We gonna have a good time

[...] Read more

poem by Jojo Jonna
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Fitration Bags

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[...] Read more

poem by Rwetewrt Erwtwer
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Sex Drive

Sit back, relax, enjoy the ride!
Tell the boys in the bank,
Put the gas in my tank,
Polish your skin on my leather,
In which position you rank.
My car is fast, and its big,
Its one heck of a [? ],
Its a beast, get in,
If you know whats best,
Co-wirst the wind,
No backing out,
Concentrate, liberating, escape!
Well?
Sex drive!
Take a ride in my car,
Sex drive!
Impress your friends,
Sex drive!
Take a ride in my car,
Sex drive!
See inside of my eyes,
Sex drive!
Take a ride in my car,
Sex drive!
Impress your friends,
Sex drive!
Take aride in my car.
Excellerate with my spurge,
Fell the engine purr,
Just push the pedal to the metal,
I wanna see you squirm,
Im double esque,
And Im lean, Im one mean machine,
Im a beast, get in if you know whats best!
Well co-wirst the wind and kiss the sky,
No backing out, its satisfying!!
Sex drive!
Take a ride in my car,
Sex drive!
Impress your friends,
Sex drive!
Take a ride in my car,
Sex drive!
See inside of my eyes,
Sex drive!
Take a ride in my car,
Sex drive!
Impress your friends,
Sex drive!
Take aride in my car.

[...] Read more

song performed by Grace Jones
Added by Lucian Velea
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Sex Drive (Dominatrix Mix)

Sit back, relax, enjoy the ride!
Tell the boys in the bank,
Put the gas in my tank,
Polish your skin on my leather,
In which position you rank.
My car is fast, and its big,
Its one heck of a [? ],
Its a beast, get in,
If you know whats best,
Co-wirst the wind,
No backing out,
Concentrate, liberating, escape!
Well?
Sex drive!
Take a ride in my car,
Sex drive!
Impress your friends,
Sex drive!
Take a ride in my car,
Sex drive!
See inside of my eyes,
Sex drive!
Take a ride in my car,
Sex drive!
Impress your friends,
Sex drive!
Take aride in my car.
Excellerate with my spurge,
Fell the engine purr,
Just push the pedal to the metal,
I wanna see you squirm,
Im double esque,
And Im lean, Im one mean machine,
Im a beast, get in if you know whats best!
Well co-wirst the wind and kiss the sky,
No backing out, its satisfying!!
Sex drive!
Take a ride in my car,
Sex drive!
Impress your friends,
Sex drive!
Take a ride in my car,
Sex drive!
See inside of my eyes,
Sex drive!
Take a ride in my car,
Sex drive!
Impress your friends,
Sex drive!
Take aride in my car.

[...] Read more

song performed by Grace Jones
Added by Lucian Velea
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Big Tomato Meets Big Toe

Little did Big Tomato know,
she would meet Mr. Big Toe.
She did not know that Big Toe
had a radio show.
The radio show was called
“Big Toe Wants To Know”
Big Tomato walked through the door, ,
knowing she had an interview at 4.
Waiting in the lobby remembering what to say,
she bumped into doll Melodie Mezoree’.
“Wow, it’s Melodie Mezoree’ how are you today? ”
“Oh great nice to see you Big Tomato,
I was just on the radio show! ”
Big Tomato replied, “I will talk about how I can fly-
how I can fly way up in the sky.”
Then Big Toe walked in,
he was happy to see Big Tomato with a grin.
Both of them shook hands,
and Big Tomato talked and sang,
on the mic behind the stand.
It was Big Tomato’s big day,
every child listened to what she had to say.

poem by Christina Sunrise
Added by Poetry Lover
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Big Tomato Meets Big Toe

Little did Big Tomato know,
she would meet Mr. Big Toe.
She did not know that Big Toe
had a radio show.
The radio show was called
“Big Toe Wants To Know”
Big Tomato walked through the door, ,
knowing she had an interview at 4.
Waiting in the lobby remembering what to say,
she bumped into doll Melodie Mezoree’.
“Wow, it’s Melodie Mezoree’ how are you today? ”
“Oh great nice to see you Big Tomato,
I was just on the radio show! ”
Big Tomato replied, “I will talk about how I can fly-
how I can fly way up in the sky.”
Then Big Toe walked in,
he was happy to see Big Tomato with a grin.
Both of them shook hands,
and Big Tomato talked and sang,
on the mic behind the stand.
It was Big Tomato’s big day,
every child listened to what she had to say.

poem by Suzae Chevalier
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Drive-in

Ooo wah
Ooo wah
Everytime I have a date theres only one place to go
Thats to the drive in
Its such a groovy place to talk and maybe watch a show
Down at the drive in
Forget about the plot, itll do very well
But make sure you see enough so youre prepared to tell
About the drive in
(ooo wah)
I love the drive in
(we love the drive in, we love the drive in)
If the windows get fogged youll have to take a breath
(oooooooo waah oooo)
Down at the drive in
(wah wah ooooooo)
Or the cat dressed in white will scare you both to death
Down at the drive in
A big buttered popcorn and an extra large coke
A few chili dogs and man Im goin broke
Down at the drive in
(ooo wah)
Yeah at the drive in
(we love the drive in, we love the drive in)
Dont sneak your buddies in the trunk cause they might get caught
By the drive in
(wah wah wah ooooooo)
And theyd look kinda stupid gettin chased through the lot
(wah ooooooo)
Around the drive in
If you say you watch the movie youre a couple o liars
And remember only you can prevent forest fires
Down at the drive in
(ooo wah)
I love the drive in
(we love the drive in, we love the drive in)
Down at the drive in
(ooo wah)
I love the drive in
(we love the drive in, we love the drive in)
Down at the drive in
(ooo wah)
I love the drive in
(we love the drive in, we love the drive in)

song performed by Beach Boys
Added by Lucian Velea
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I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks

If your ass is a Chinese restaurant I'll have the poo-poo platter
My friend Jerry Vandergrift kissed me in Home Ec. class
Later in the afternoon some jarheads in the locker room kicked my ass
I said guys I'm like you I like Monster Trucks too
Wanna see how many push-ups I can do?
I just wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
But if I were handsome just imagine how great it would be
Incognito as gay though but not actually that way though pseudo homo phony
Maybe it's a stupid theory or maybe just stupidity
But if I was a queerbee in the fashion industry
Scoring with a super model would be easy
Cause 'super model' means voluptuous but is also is synonomous with 'super dumb'
Ya see I'd be a good listener so she'd treat me like a sister and soon I'd become
That trusted friend that cares that rubs her back and braids her hair
No it wouldn't be a week before I'm in her underwear
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
Doesn't matter what I'm packin' in my denim it's what's in my genes
The only smoked meat the only sausage I would eat is made by Jimmy Dean
See I'm not to keen on the smell of Vaseline
No I'm not Princess Di and I don't wanna be a queen
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks

Anyway if I were gay I'd have to change my name to Dirk or Lewis
Hang out with my mom's hair stylist his name is Kip he's got a lisp he talks like this
And wear my mother's lingerie learn the songs of Broadway
And appreciate Depeche Mode and avant garde ballet
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
And I don't shave my heiny
Don't shave my heiny
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly

song performed by Bloodhound Gang from One Fierce Beer Coaster
Added by Lucian Velea
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Virginia's Story

Elizabeth Gates-Wooten is my Grand mom.

She was born in Canada with her father and brothers.
They owned a Barber Shoppe.
I don't remember exactly where in Canada.
I believe it was right over the border like Windsor or Toronto.
I never knew exactly where it was.

When she was old enough she got married.

First, she married a man by the name of Frank Gates.
He was from Madagascar.
He fathered my mom and her brother and sister.
The boy's name was Frank Gates, Jr.
Two girls name were Anna and Agnes.

Agnes was my mother.

Frank Gates went crazy after the war
He drank a lot and died
Then grandma Elizabeth married a man by the name of Mr. Wooten.
He had a German name, but I don't think he was German.
She took his last name after they got married.

Then they moved to West Virginia in the United States.

Their son, Frank Gates Jr. Became a delegate in the democratic party.
He use to get into a lot of trouble because he liked to fight.
He was a delegate from the 1940's to 1970's.
He died of gout in the 1970's.

Anna was a maid and cook.

She baked cakes and stuff for people as a side line.
She had a hump on her back (scoliosis) .
She had to walk with a cane.
She could cook good though.
She did this kind of work all of her life, just like her mom, Elizabeth

They were both good cooks

They had a lot of money because they had these skills
Especially when people had parties.
Because they would make all of this food and then they would have left-overs.
We got to eat a lot of stuff we normally wouldn't get because of that.
When they cooked, they didn't use no measuring stuff, they would just use there hand.

My moms name was Agnes Barrie Gates.

She married James Wright and moved to Cleveland.

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poem by Talile Ali
Added by Poetry Lover
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Big Time

Suc cess
Im on my way, Im making it
Ive giot to make it show, yeah
So much larger than life
Im going to watch it growing
The place where I come from is a small town
They think so small
They use small words
-but not me
Im smarter than that
I worked it out
Ive been stretching my mouth
To let those big words come right out
Ive had enough, Im getting out
To the city, the big big city
Ill be a big noise with all the big boys
Theres so much stuff I will own
And I will pray to a big god
As I kneel in the big church
Big time
Im on my way-Im making it
Big time big time
Ive got to make it show yeah
Big time big time
So much larger than life
Big time
Im going to watch it growing
Big time
My parties all have big names
And I greet them with the widest smile
Tell them how my life is one big adventure^
And always theyre amazed
When I show them round my house, to my bed
I had it made like a mountain range
With a snow-white pillow for my big fat head
And my heaven will be a big heaven
And I will walk through the front door
Big time
Im on my way-Im making it
Big time big time
Ive got to make it show-yeah
Big time big time
So much larger than life
Im going to watch it growing
Big time big time
My car is getting bigger
Big time
My house is getting bigger
Big time
My eyes are getting bigger

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song performed by Peter Gabriel
Added by Lucian Velea
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You Drive Me Crazy

You drive me crazy.
And I must,
Like...
The craze.

You drive me crazy.
You drive me crazy.
Say...
You drive me crazy.
And I must,
Like...
The craze.

You drive me crazy.
You drive me crazy.

All day long...
I knock my head against the wall.

Holding on...
To nothing that I own at all.

When night falls...
I need some time to just relax.
And not be nit picked behind my back.
With a nagging done by a maniac.

You drive me crazy.
And I must,
Like...
The craze.

You drive me crazy.
You drive me crazy.
Say...
You drive me crazy.
And I must,
Like...
The craze.

You drive me crazy.
You drive me crazy.

All day long...
I knock my head against the wall.

Holding on...
To nothing that I own at all.

When night falls...

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poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Added by Poetry Lover
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