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Jokes are grievances.

quote by Marshall McLuhan
Added by Lucian Velea
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All the Jokes

All the jokes have already been told
And so instead, we tell jokes about how
All the jokes have already been told
But these new jokes aren't very funny
In fact, they're actually kind of sad

So instead we tell jokes about how
All the new jokes aren't very funny
In fact, they're actually kind of sad
Because they remind us about how
All the jokes have already been told

But these jokes get old very quickly
So we make up new jokes about how
The jokes about the new jokes about how
All the jokes that have already been told
Are starting to get quite old

But after a while, once these jokes
Have gotten quite old themselves
We sit and listen to the silence
And wonder about the past, and how
All the jokes have already been told

Then suddenly, out of nowhere
Somebody comes up with a joke
That had been forgotten long ago
But is so funny we can't even breathe
So we roll on the floor, gasping for air

poem by Derek Ouyang
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Impossible To Tell

to Robert Hass and in memory of Elliot Gilbert

Slow dulcimer, gavotte and bow, in autumn,
Bashõ and his friends go out to view the moon;
In summer, gasoline rainbow in the gutter,

The secret courtesy that courses like ichor
Through the old form of the rude, full-scale joke,
Impossible to tell in writing. 'Bashõ'

He named himself, 'Banana Tree': banana
After the plant some grateful students gave him,
Maybe in appreciation of his guidance

Threading a long night through the rules and channels
Of their collaborative linking-poem
Scored in their teacher's heart: live, rigid, fluid

Like passages etched in a microscopic cicuit.
Elliot had in his memory so many jokes
They seemed to breed like microbes in a culture

Inside his brain, one so much making another
It was impossible to tell them all:
In the court-culture of jokes, a top banana.

Imagine a court of one: the queen a young mother,
Unhappy, alone all day with her firstborn child
And her new baby in a squalid apartment

Of too few rooms, a different race from her neighbors.
She tells the child she's going to kill herself.
She broods, she rages. Hoping to distract her,

The child cuts capers, he sings, he does imitations
Of different people in the building, he jokes,
He feels if he keeps her alive until the father

Gets home from work, they'll be okay till morning.
It's laughter versus the bedroom and the pills.
What is he in his efforts but a courtier?

Impossible to tell his whole delusion.
In the first months when I had moved back East
From California and had to leave a message

On Bob's machine, I used to make a habit
Of telling the tape a joke; and part-way through,
I would pretend that I forgot the punchline,

[...] Read more

poem by Robert Pinsky
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Be With You Awhile

I wish I could tell you something you didn't know
I wish I could give you something you didn't owe
I wish I could tell you a joke to make you smile
And I could be with you awhile
Just wanna be that someone you weren't looking for
Some nameless fascination that showed up at your door
And when you're sad and blue my jokes still make you smile
And I could be with you awhile
I just want to take you somewhere you haven't been
Find an old time movie where we don't know the end
Lost in the radio, drive another mile
So I could be with you awhile
Just wanna be that someone you weren't looking for
Some nameless fascination that showed up at your door
And when you're sad and blue my jokes still make you smile
And I could be with you awhile
Tired of serious conversation
Tangled up in situations
I feel so free 'cause you want nothing from me
Just wanna be that someone you weren't looking for
Some hopeless vagabond asleep there on your floor
And when you're old and gray my jokes still make you smile
And I could be with you awhile
Just wanna be that someone you weren't looking for
Some nameless fascination that showed up at your door
And when you're old and gray my jokes still make you smile
And I could be with you awhile
I just want to be with you awhile
I just want to be with you awhile
I just want to be with you...

song performed by Alice Cooper
Added by Lucian Velea
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The Stamping Ground

The stamping ground,
The stamping ground.
All your old gang
Still hang around.
Coming in with the same blokes,
Going home with the same jokes,
If you ever go missing
I know where youll be found :
The stamping ground.
The big fella on the front door knows your face.
The barman pretends that hes saved you a place,
But when your back is turned
They say shes older than she tells.
I could stand the main attraction,
But not the clientelle.
The stamping ground,
The stamping ground.
All your old gang
Still hang around.
Coming in with the same blokes,
Going home with the same jokes,
If you ever go missing
I know where youll be found :
The stamping ground.
Everybody knows
Evrybodys trouble,
Who comes in alone,
Who leaves as a couple.
When they seen you coming, babe,
They act like theyre pleased to meet you.
Say its very nice to know you,
But I wouldnt want to be you.
The stamping ground,
The stamping ground.
All your old gang
Still hang around.
Going home with the same blokes,
Going home with the same jokes,
If you ever go missing
I know where youll be found :
The stamping ground.
You talk like you dont have a brain in your head.
You act like you dont have a care in your bed.
Th lights are on,
Theres no one home,
It scares you to death.
You stamp on anyone who stops to take a breath.
The stamping ground,
The stamping ground.
All your old gang

[...] Read more

song performed by Elvis Costello
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3 Years

The first year was great
jokes and laughs
games and retardedness

That summer was even better
staying up late
texting all day
showers over the phone
what more can we ask for?

The second year was wow
not so many jokes
less laughs
i dont even know what happened to the games
or to the retardedness
i think a good question should be...
What happened to you?

The summer started off shakey
yea we talked
but there was a big white wall in between us
or better yet a girl
she liked you so much
and yea i guess you liked her too.

The middle of the summer started getting better
we had the jokes and laughs
but still no games or retardedness
we were still missing alot.

Towards the end of the summer
we had everything
man was i happy

We were best friends again
the jokes and the laughs were awesome
and the games and the retardedness was back!

The third year is starting now
its going good so far
we still have everything
but....

The first year was better
and that summer was the best!

poem by Adriana Ellis
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He Is Expected to Bless Them With Gifts

I am on a mission to complete it.
Not to question each task,
To ask God to replace my challenges.
That's why I keep my faith...
Strong and without doubt that can be debated.

And those who remain confused,
Insisting they pray...?
I often wonder to 'who' and 'what' they do that to?
And 'why' they have reasons to complain everyday?
As if they have been assigned to carry the burdens of others.

And 'if' that is the case...
How strong is their faith,
That leaves them to believe...
To express their grievances,
Is what God desires to hear.
As He is expected to bless them with gifts,
That fulfill their wishes.
Everytime they are found whining,
About obstacles they agonize...
And delivered to God's attentive ears.

How strong is their faith,
That leaves them to believe...
To express their grievances,
Is what God desires to hear.
And disappear to await for a miracle!
Only to defy it in denial when it arrives.

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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The Rimer And The Venus

This poem is a conversation between Rimer (poet) and Venus(goddess of love) . I wrote it when when my two friends eloped to wed.

The Rimer

O Venus! I wish to thee something ask,
But condition is put of making no mask,
Can your eyes deny the present sight?
Or, have you realized yourself a wight?
But, my grievances make inside me unrest,
Like a bird sitting its broken nest,

Why for a girl a boy turns blind?
Not long, but in short time I find,
Leaving parents, they elope and wed,
They get anger but tears in alone they shed,
To whom you defend and why? In this case,
What love is great and what is base?

I ask further while thee I've never seen,
Is love fair in the current age?
And tell me too, what to do and what to ween?
While people see not heart but mere visage,
And just is mostly in their eyes,
What should I do? Oft my heart cries.

The Venus

Ask me rimer! I'll reply thee,
No mark I'll put, you should be gay,
I believe on on surface but the depth of the sea,
So I've never experienced to be wight in anyway,
But, thy grievances have affected my heart,
And I hear a voice of a broken heart.

That he turns blind mere seeing glamour,
For defending themselve, they have no armour,
Trampling parents' love those who elope to wed,
And compel both of them tears in alone to shed,
The unfathomed love mother I can't deny,
And those who deny, I curse them to cry.

Nothing I'm but an unseen God's creature,
And preach to all to love what is in nature,
Love is the greatest thing in the world, I wish,
And the meanest one in nature if it is selfish,
Love to whom who really lover thee by soul,
Not a hindrance, but helps thee in achieving thy goal.

poem by Mohammad Muzzammil
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Distractions

Fancy a big house
Some kids and a horse
I can not quite, but nearly
Guarantee, a divorce
I think that I love you
I think that I do
So go on mister, make Miss me Mrs you.
I love you, I love you, I love you, I do
I only make jokes to distract myself
From the truth, from the truth.
Fancy a fast car
A bag full of loot
I can nearly guarantee
You'll end up with the boot
I love you, I love you, I love you , I do
I only make jokes to distract myself
From the truth, from the truth.
I love you, I love you, I love you , I do
I only make jokes to distract myself
From the truth, from the truth.

song performed by Zero 7
Added by Lucian Velea
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Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars. Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars.

quote by George Mikes
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Radio

He's chosen my attic
I feel it in the static
He lives in my basement
And I can hardly face it
My performance is easy
I am the god of romance
And in my confusion
I have the right to reign
He's stolen my Oscars
He trades on my jokes
He makes all my engines go oh oh oh
He put an "e" in the arsenal
A comb in my 'fro
Devine retribution
And away we will go
Hey hey hey hey
Something's happening I can feel it
Moving out of time you'll hear it
Falling in the way you fear it
Jumping thumping shout out something
Jumping thumping shout out something
Listen to the radio
And you will hear the songs you know
Make it effervescent here
And you might have a job my dear
I'm searching for something
Beyond my understanding
Looking for meaning
Where nothing is demanding
There are no surprises
Where nothing is expected
If you offer nothing
Then everyone accepts
He's stolen my Oscars
He trades on my jokes
He makes all my engines go oh oh oh
He put an "e" in the arsenal
A comb in my 'fro
Devine retribution
And away we will go
Hey hey hey hey
Something's happening I can feel it
Moving out of time you'll hear it
Falling in the way you fear it
Jumping thumping shout out something
Jumping thumping shout out something
Listen to the radio
And you will hear the songs you know
Make it effervescent here
And you might have a job my dear

[...] Read more

song performed by Robbie Williams
Added by Lucian Velea
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It wasn't until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes; at first it was put the jokes out there and I'm just behind the jokes.

quote by Wanda Sykes
Added by Lucian Velea
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Back When

Dont you remember the fizz in a pepper .
Penuts in a bottle at ten, two, and four.
A fried bologna sandwitch with mayo and tamata, sittin around
the table dont happen much anymore.
We gotten to complicated, its all way overrated, I like old and outdated
way of life.
Back when a hoe was a hoe
Coke was a coke
And crakes what you were doing when you were cracking jokes
Back when a screw was a screw
The wind was all that blew
And when you said i'm down with that , well it meant you had the flu
I miss back when
I miss back when
I miss back when
I loved my records, black shiny vinyle
clikes, pops, and white noise man they sounded fine.
I had my favorite stations the ones that played them all.
country, soul, and rockin roll what happend to thouse times.
I'm reading street slang for dummies cause they put pop in my country.
I want more for my money, the way it was back then
When a hoe was hoe
Coke was a coke
And cracks what you were doing when you were cracking jokes
Back when a screw was a screw
The wind was all that blew
And when you said i'm down with that, well it meant you had the flu
I miss back when
I miss back when
I miss back when
Give me a flat top for strummin
I want the whole world to be hummin
Just keep it comin, the way it was back then
When a hoe was a hoe
Coke was a coke
And crakes what you were doing when you were crackin jokes
Back when a screw was a screw
The wind was all that blew
And when you said i'm down with that, well it meant you had the flu
I miss back when
I miss back when
I miss back when
I miss back when
I miss back when

song performed by Tim McGraw
Added by Lucian Velea
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Dedicated To Laughter!

Dedicated to laughter! Yes!
It gives your brain a tickle!
It brings a lotto happiness,
You've gotto have a giggle!
Don't hold it back! Let it be free!
Roll on the floor as well!
Then other folks will laugh with glee -
And think it's wonderfell...
Children are known to laugh the most -
They've learnt to tell jokes, too...
With limericks from coast-to-coast
To get the message through!
Yes, laughter lifts the lungs like songs...
Thus tensions melt away...
That's why all comics should get gongs
When honours are given in May...
If I get knighted, as it were,
The day I leave The Mall,
Be kind enough to call me, SIR!
Not Mister, mate or pal!
All wise-cracks pour from lightning brains
That see life's ironies,
Sifting out truths from lies like grains
With food for thought to please!
I'd like to think that humour spreads
Like smiles as joy imparts.
Some jokes are like fine thoroughbreds -
They're trained to thrill our hearts!
Blessed is the soul that's learnt to laugh
Yet cares for other folks -
It proves a noble epitaph
That one was known for jokes!
A precious pun's not always cute!
But sometimes it's OK...
So do your best to be astute!
You'll make somebody's day!

poem by Denis Martindale
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A healthy habit

Fun making with others is very good habit
You must enjoy it fully but bit by bit
If you are fun loving person
You should feel elated for every reason.

Do you enjoy while making fun?
Do you fear when pointed a gun?
Where you ever chased or compelled to make run?
If not, then you are exceptionally only one

We forget basic things while making fun at others
Care id not taken for feelings and never bother
When we face the same situation one day?
We feel hell let loose on us and find no hope of ray

We have no grief over thousands who perish
Take all kind of life risks which push them to finish
Still life goes on and nothing stops
Show also goes on and never flops

You can create jokes and make fun
Sometimes you may be targeted one
It is equally same for your fiends
They may pass it on to you at the end

You may feel bad and cut sorry figure
You had never expected it for sure
If you pretend to be funny and good joker
You should not end up as looser

Physical injury, if inflicted, can be recovered
New stars can also be discovered
Bitter words or ill feelings pinch us most
May deliver a blow at personal cost

Why don’t we care and respect the honor?
Whether they are family members, tenants or owner?
Let us be the first to repair the damage
Worst crisis should be faced and try to manage

You may think race is over and already won
You may not realize about ill feelings and frown
They will not hesitate to bring you down
Time is not far off when you will be completely disowned

It is better late then never or soon to be realized
Recover fast before you are marginalized
Let whole blame pass and generalized
With less discomfort and not so much penalized

[...] Read more

poem by Hasmukh Amathalal
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A nice jokes

How to make joke out of sadness?
Cruel joke can be termed as madness
To laugh it out is simply a sign of healthy mind
Such quality is to be rarely seen and find

To cute joke at somebody’s weakness is called foolishness
Nice jokes may try to remove somebody’s loneliness
It is nice to cut joke and make others happy
He will come out of shock and get ready

What is something new in fine jokes?
What response it gets or reaction invokes?
The known friends may take it very lightly
It may take off their worries slightly

See to it that it generates no ill feeling
It must help to build confidence if willing
It just a try in right direction
It will definitely prove as good action

Some people are good at hiding the pain
They will not show it as their gain
It is indication of humble person
They may not disclose it with simple reason

Your jokes should be of innocent nature
It must help to develop the future
It may remove the misgivings of long years
It may be heard nicely by friends in their ears

It is fine always to remain in jovial mood
It serves as medicine or good nutritious food
It helps to build healthy state of mind
It may make you to feel very kind

Treat it as fine quality and heavenly sent
Prove it with normal desire for improvement
It may draw flake with adverse comment
Still it will remain as memorable moment

poem by Hasmukh Amathalal
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What Does It Take For Reality To Be Embraced?

What is it that goes on in the minds of those,
Who choose an agenda...
To defeat the ones they have historically opposed?
By the telling of lies and demeaning them,
With stereotypical jokes that seem to continue with no end?
Those old jokes told,
That have rusted against their peeling picket fences.

Delusion!

A delusion kept that their inept perceptions,
Will stay effective with sustained false depth.
And their ability to squeeze the economy,
To have those on their knees and pleading...
With a begging of them to forgive them of 'sins'.
As if they have been annointed as 'chosen' deities.
Worshipped by those suppressed as they believe.

What goes on in the minds of those,
Who choose an agenda...
To defeat the ones they have historically opposed,
By the telling of lies and demeaning them...
With stereotypical jokes?

Delusion!

And what awakens to stun the ones,
To snap out of their spells they've kept so well?

Reality!

And what does it take for reality to be embraced?

A truth that survives that no one can deny.
Once superficiality diminishes from those whose eyes,
Have been cleared and freed from all deceptions.
With trauma to face as a reception!
After inspecting their standards once valued demolished.

'Say what you will.
But a winning was not done with a mandate! '

I agree.
However...
Few losers are heard cheering,
Because they 'almost' defeated that which was opposed.
Or observed snuggling together...
With smiles a mile wide and gratified with eyes closed.

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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On a perfect day

You begin it with a morning walk
Moments of reflection on God’s
Wonders, his creations, an
Early fresh air brushing your hair
Some dews on grass glistening
Some scents on early flower blooms exuding
Some new leaves on the tall trees sprouting

In a while you see the break of dawn
The sun finally breaking out gently
From the crevices of clouds on a wide horizon

Seeing a new light,

Then breakfast with the family
Some prayers to bless simple food
Early morning news, a little talk,
Some crack for jokes,

Then
It is office time
You work, you make judgments
On people’s grievances, they want
Something from you
To be done, swiftly and rightly,
They are thirsty and hungry,
And you have to feed them
Right away, you always think what is
It that is best for all and must
Be done, no matter what,

Then you go back to your home,
You sit on a chair facing yourself
On a mirror for some reflections,
You smile, you are proud, you did
Not yield to the wiles of this world,
You have asserted yourself on some
Principles to no compromises,

You look again at another closing sunset,

Seeing a new promising light,

Then you pray and sleep soundly
Another day has ended again,
Your head rests on a soft pillow
Feeling light like being reborn

Your conscience is clear

[...] Read more

poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Butt Out!

I can be submissive when I wish.
I know this!
Under sheets and kissing.
Yes.
That I will admit.

I can be dominant too.
And that is for me to know.
With whom I choose.
And that is not for public news!
Nor is it for you.

I have no weaknesses...
Or sexual grievances,
I perceive decreases my manhood.
And I wouldn't if I could!
Not for 'trips' others may take.
Or roleplay displays...
Others fake.
With pretensions they insist,
Are realities they persist.
To convince others with!
In solicited nonsense conversations.
Ones that are similar to this.

What is that about?
Why would anyone...
Want to figure that one out?

When my name is gently called...
I am in the process of delivering.
Without an audience around,
To shout out loud!
In a mission missed I'm dishing.
I seek to satisfy,
In a discreteness that's applied.
With outsiders like you,
Quickly dismissed!

'I am almost done with my explanation, baby.
Be patient.'

False labels tossed to imply an embossing...
Are worthless to give time in my mind.
I am affectionate,
With passion to give.
And with that done,
It is with the right one.
Without announcements...
In a campaign allowed,

[...] Read more

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Well, the telling of jokes is an art of its own, and it always rises from some emotional threat. The best jokes are dangerous, and dangerous because they are in some way truthful.

quote by Kurt Vonnegut
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Manual jokes are clown's jokes.

French proverbs
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