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Art Buchwald

The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. Statistics prove that in the United States more Americans are killed in automobile accidents than are killed by buffalo.

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Automobile

February morning, my car wont start today
I turned the key at 8:03 and the battery passed away
Inside a my automobile
I want my automobile
I want my automobile
I want to drive it all around this world
Brides gettin married in the springtime
Widows gettin married in the fall
I got married in high school
Or I wouldnt of got married at all
Id be drivin my automobile
Be drivin my automobile
Be drivin my automobile
I wanna drive it all around this world
Everybody said to the new groom
Groom, what ya gonna be
I said Im gonna be a symphony
Just as soon as I find a key
To my automobile
I want my automobile
I want my automobile
All around this world
Spoken:
Lets take a ride
Columbus sailed the ocean
Moses parted the sea
Dolores left me yesterday
Well, I think she took the key
To my automobile
I want my automobile
I want my automobile
Wanna drive it all around this world
Now I held a little bitty baby
I held a woman all night
Whenever I get the hiccups
I hold my breath til my head gets light
Then I drive my automobile
Yeah I drive my automobile
I drive my automobile
Im want to drive it all around this world
February morning, my car wont start today
Yeah, I turned the key at 8:03
And the battery passed away
Inside a my automobile
Im drivin my automobile
Wanna my automobile
Wanna drive it all around this world
Go on.
Spoken:
It is a beautiful day for a ride

[...] Read more

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United

Look around
They're moving in
Hold your ground
When they begin
We can do it
We can do it and if they wanna they can try
But they'll never get near
Then they can get out of here
Gonna keep on driving
Never stop
United, united, united we stand
United we never shall fall
United, united, united we stand
United we stand one and all
So keep it up
Don't give in
Make a stand
We're gonna win
We can do it
We can do it and if they wanna they can try
But they'll never get near
Then they can get out of here
Gonna keep on driving
Never stop
United, united, united we stand
United we never shall fall
United, united, united we stand
United we stand one and all
So keep it up
United, united, united we stand
United we never shall fall
United, united, united we stand
United we stand one and all
United, united, united we stand
United we never shall fall
United, united, united we stand
United we stand one and all
United, united, united we stand
United we never shall fall
United, united, united we stand
United we stand one and all
(fade)

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Buffalo Gal

Buffalo {repeat 16 times}
Buffalo gal,
Youve had your fun
Your buttons undone
And the times right for slaughter
Buffalo gal
Youre thirsty and theres no more water
Like the lamb on the altar
And its sad to see you looking down and feeling blue
Try your best to get on up and see it through
In a while you might smile and see the sun
Oww, the day has begun
{chorus}
And buffalo gal,
Theyre closing down the old dance hall
Ummm, buffalo gal,
What we gonna do now?
Buffalo gal,
Due to these circumstances
Theres no more dances
Buffalo gal,
[buffalo] all your chances of further romances
Will have to be nil
til I can get it sung
Is a shame your only claim to fame is jessie james
You know his middle name
Thats very strange
Stranger, you knew a friend called the friendly ranger
Oh, ya shared the danger
{repeat chorus}
Buffalo {repeat 16 times}
Buffalo gal,
You must try a big step
Youve got a big jump ahead
Buffalo gal,
The show left town
Spreading sunshine all around
And its bad to see ya, ooh, lookin blue
Dry your eyes and Ill apologise for all the lies
Try a smile and in a while, just in a while
Youll be smiling through
Ooh, buffalo gal,
Theyre closin down the old dance hall [buffalo {repeat 10 times} gal, gal]
And buffalo gal,
Oh, you look so good somehow [buffalo {repeat 9 times} gal]
Oh buffalo gal,
Oh, thats such a pretty dress [buffalo {repeat 8 times} gal]
Buffalo gal,
The show left town [buffalo {repeat 8 times} gal, gal]
Buffalo gal,

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Crazy 'bout An Automobile

(william r. emerson)
-man, i'm gonna tell you my story
-go on and tell about it, go on and tell about it more
-just what i've been doing
-what you've been doing, ry ?
-well, you know i used to be particular about the womens that i picked
-aha!
-yeah! they used to be tender, lean and tall, that's all
-but the way things has been going, i'll take 'em knock-kneed and bow-legged
-what ?
-i'll even take 'em bald! man. i'll tell you why
-please, tell me why!
Every woman i know is crazy 'bout an automobile
Every woman i know is crazy 'bout an automobile
And here i am standing with nothing but rubber heels.
He-hey, every woman i know, crazy 'bout an automobile
Oh, every woman i know, crazy 'bout an automobile
And here i am standing with nothing but rubber heels.
Now look'it here!
They say, walking women home is a thing of the past
Women want to ride and ride around in class
Some like cadillacs, boys, some like fords
Some like anything as long as it rolls.
Crazy 'bout an automobile [that's right]
And here i am standing with nothing but rubber heels
Well, every woman i know she's crazy 'bout an automobile
Every woman i know is crazy 'bout an automobile
And here i am standing with nothing but rubber heels
One more thing i wanna tell you
Said, riding and loving just can't be beat,
You and your woman in your own front seat.
Now, she can play with your keys, shift the gears,
Turn on your radio just loud enough to hear.
Now, she can turn up the heat and flip on your fan,
And then you start rolling just as fast as you can.
Crazy 'bout an automobile
And just here i am standing with nothing but rubber heels
Man, when i get some money i just got to get me some kind of automobile
You don't seem like the women in this town just don't pay no attention to ya 'less you're driving
Look at that big, fine buick over there
Oh, i like that one
Yeah, now, looks like somebody left the keys in it
Oh, let's take a ride
Nothing but rubber heels

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Walt Whitman

As I Sat Alone By Blue Ontario's Shores

AS I sat alone, by blue Ontario's shore,
As I mused of these mighty days, and of peace return'd, and the dead
that return no more,
A Phantom, gigantic, superb, with stern visage, accosted me;
Chant me the poem, it said, that comes from the soul of America--
chant me the carol of victory;
And strike up the marches of Libertad--marches more powerful yet;
And sing me before you go, the song of the throes of Democracy.

(Democracy--the destin'd conqueror--yet treacherous lip-smiles
everywhere,
And Death and infidelity at every step.)


A Nation announcing itself,
I myself make the only growth by which I can be appreciated, 10
I reject none, accept all, then reproduce all in my own forms.

A breed whose proof is in time and deeds;
What we are, we are--nativity is answer enough to objections;
We wield ourselves as a weapon is wielded,
We are powerful and tremendous in ourselves,
We are executive in ourselves--We are sufficient in the variety of
ourselves,
We are the most beautiful to ourselves, and in ourselves;
We stand self-pois'd in the middle, branching thence over the world;
From Missouri, Nebraska, or Kansas, laughing attacks to scorn.

Nothing is sinful to us outside of ourselves, 20
Whatever appears, whatever does not appear, we are beautiful or
sinful in ourselves only.

(O mother! O sisters dear!
If we are lost, no victor else has destroy'd us;
It is by ourselves we go down to eternal night.)


Have you thought there could be but a single Supreme?
There can be any number of Supremes--One does not countervail
another, any more than one eyesight countervails another, or
one life countervails another.

All is eligible to all,
All is for individuals--All is for you,
No condition is prohibited--not God's, or any.

All comes by the body--only health puts you rapport with the
universe. 30

Produce great persons, the rest follows.

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VIII. Dominus Hyacinthus de Archangelis, Pauperum Procurator

Ah, my Giacinto, he's no ruddy rogue,
Is not Cinone? What, to-day we're eight?
Seven and one's eight, I hope, old curly-pate!
—Branches me out his verb-tree on the slate,
Amo-as-avi-atum-are-ans,
Up to -aturus, person, tense, and mood,
Quies me cum subjunctivo (I could cry)
And chews Corderius with his morning crust!
Look eight years onward, and he's perched, he's perched
Dapper and deft on stool beside this chair,
Cinozzo, Cinoncello, who but he?
—Trying his milk-teeth on some crusty case
Like this, papa shall triturate full soon
To smooth Papinianian pulp!

It trots
Already through my head, though noon be now,
Does supper-time and what belongs to eve.
Dispose, O Don, o' the day, first work then play!
The proverb bids. And "then" means, won't we hold
Our little yearly lovesome frolic feast,
Cinuolo's birth-night, Cinicello's own,
That makes gruff January grin perforce!
For too contagious grows the mirth, the warmth
Escaping from so many hearts at once—
When the good wife, buxom and bonny yet,
Jokes the hale grandsire,—such are just the sort
To go off suddenly,—he who hides the key
O' the box beneath his pillow every night,—
Which box may hold a parchment (someone thinks)
Will show a scribbled something like a name
"Cinino, Ciniccino," near the end,
"To whom I give and I bequeath my lands,
"Estates, tenements, hereditaments,
"When I decease as honest grandsire ought."
Wherefore—yet this one time again perhaps—
Shan't my Orvieto fuddle his old nose!
Then, uncles, one or the other, well i' the world,
May—drop in, merely?—trudge through rain and wind,
Rather! The smell-feasts rouse them at the hint
There's cookery in a certain dwelling-place!
Gossips, too, each with keepsake in his poke,
Will pick the way, thrid lane by lantern-light,
And so find door, put galligaskin off
At entry of a decent domicile
Cornered in snug Condotti,—all for love,
All to crush cup with Cinucciatolo!

Well,
Let others climb the heights o' the court, the camp!

[...] Read more

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Nuclear Is Safe? No They Lied To You

A list of non classified nuclear disasters
chalk one up for Chalk River Canada
rating 5 a “reactor shutoff rod failure,

combined with several operator errors,
led to a major power excursion of more
than double the reactor's rated output
at AECL's NRX reactor” then a big deal.1952

Entrant two Windscale Pile United Kingdom
rating 5 a “Release of radioactive material to
the environment following a fire in a reactor
core.” Toast a good year for nuclear disasters.1957

graphite core of a British nuclear “[weapons
programme] reactor at Windscale, Cumberland
(now Sellafield, Cumbria) caught fire, releasing
substantial amounts of radioactive contamination
into the surrounding area.” Radioactive fire.

A warm welcome to entrant three. Kyshtym
Russia rating 6 a “Significant release of
radioactive material to the environment
from explosion of a high activity waste tank.” 1957

Please all welcome contestant one back
Chalk River Canada (rating?) “Due to
inadequate cooling a damaged uranium
fuel rod caught fire and was torn in two.” 1958

Champagne pops cheer another good year
Vinč a Yugoslavia (rating?) “During
a subcritical counting experiment a power
buildup went undetected - six scientists
received high doses.” What detailed detail? 1958

Applause please for our first American entry
Santa Susana Field Laboratory US (rating?)
“Partial core meltdown.” Sounds serious.
Tick one deep operations public cover up.1959

Time to take a nice country waltz in a US county
Westinghouse Waltz Mill Westmoreland County
(rating?) a core melt accident in a test reactor? 1960

Looks like American is going for a hat trick
Charlestown US (rating?) “Error by a worker
at a United Nuclear Corporation fuel facility
led to an accidental criticality”. Human error? 1964

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Accidents Can Happen

Theres a side of you, could bring on homicide
But livin in a cell changes my view
Maybe your automobile could lose its right front wheel
It happens every day, it could be you
Look back over your shoulder, when you think youre alone, youre not
Each noise, every shadow, look out!
Chorus:
Accidents can happen, its always in the news
Accidents can happen to you
You read it in the paper, you see it on the tube
Accidents can happen
To you
A little haitian doll, that looks a lot like you do
A little powdered poison in your tea
Electricity, invisible to see, Id like to introduce you to mr. e
A malfunction, who would notice, machines and things get hot
A permanent vacation can be bought
Chorus - look out!
(solo)
Accidents can happen, accidents can happen, accidents can happen to you
Chorus - accidents can happen, accidents can happen - look out!

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Crazy 'bout An Automobile (Every Woman I Know)

(william r. emerson)
-man, i'm gonna tell you my story
-go on and tell about it, go on and tell about it more
-just what i've been doing
-what you've been doing, ry ?
-well, you know i used to be particular about the womens that i picked
-aha!
-yeah! they used to be tender, lean and tall, that's all
-but the way things has been going, i'll take 'em knock-kneed and bow-legged
-what ?
-i'll even take 'em bald! man. i'll tell you why
-please, tell me why!
Every woman i know is crazy 'bout an automobile
Every woman i know is crazy 'bout an automobile
And here i am standing with nothing but rubber heels.
He-hey, every woman i know, crazy 'bout an automobile
Oh, every woman i know, crazy 'bout an automobile
And here i am standing with nothing but rubber heels.
Now look'it here!
They say, walking women home is a thing of the past
Women want to ride and ride around in class
Some like cadillacs, boys, some like fords
Some like anything as long as it rolls.
Crazy 'bout an automobile [that's right]
And here i am standing with nothing but rubber heels
Well, every woman i know she's crazy 'bout an automobile
Every woman i know is crazy 'bout an automobile
And here i am standing with nothing but rubber heels
One more thing i wanna tell you
Said, riding and loving just can't be beat,
You and your woman in your own front seat.
Now, she can play with your keys, shift the gears,
Turn on your radio just loud enough to hear.
Now, she can turn up the heat and flip on your fan,
And then you start rolling just as fast as you can.
Crazy 'bout an aut

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Niagara

I

Within the town of Buffalo
Are prosy men with leaden eyes.
Like ants they worry to and fro,
(Important men, in Buffalo.)
But only twenty miles away
A deathless glory is at play:
Niagara, Niagara.

The women buy their lace and cry: —
"O such a delicate design,"
And over ostrich feathers sigh,
By counters there, in Buffalo.
The children haunt the trinket shops,
They buy false-faces, bells, and tops,
Forgetting great Niagara.

Within the town of Buffalo
Are stores with garnets, sapphires, pearls,
Rubies, emeralds aglow, —
Opal chains in Buffalo,
Cherished symbols of success.
They value not your rainbow dress: —
Niagara, Niagara.

The shaggy meaning of her name
This Buffalo, this recreant town,
Sharps and lawyers prune and tame:
Few pioneers in Buffalo;
Except young lovers flushed and fleet
And winds hallooing down the street:
"Niagara, Niagara."

The journalists are sick of ink:
Boy prodigals are lost in wine,
By night where white and red lights blink,
The eyes of Death, in Buffalo.
And only twenty miles away
Are starlit rocks and healing spray: —
Niagara, Niagara.

Above the town a tiny bird,
A shining speck at sleepy dawn,
Forgets the ant-hill so absurd,
This self-important Buffalo.
Descending twenty miles away
He bathes his wings at break of day —
Niagara, Niagara.

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Dont Believe In Accidents

Anything can happen
When I wind up alone with you
Put your finger on the things I like to do
Well anything can happen
Theres a feel in the air around you
Commanding parts of me
I never ever knew
I want your love
Of flesh and blood
Hey you!
This was really meant to be
Its for sure our destiny
Making lovers out of friends
I dont believe in accidents
Anything can happen
When you hit that electric room in me
I lose the time, the place and everything I see
Well anything can happen
Theres nothin else in the world Id rather do
Than to feed the secret dreams
Hidden in you
You want the love
Of flesh and blood
Hey you!
This was really meant to be
Its for sure our destiny
Making lovers out of friends
I dont believe in accidents
I dont believe in accidents
Hey you!
This was really meant to be
Its for sure our destiny
Making lovers out of friends
Dont believe in accidents
This was really meant to be
Its for sure our destiny
Making lovers out friends
I dont believe in accidents
I dont believe in accidents
Dont believe in accidents
Dont believe in accidents...

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Don't Believe In Accidents (demo)

Anything can happen
when I wind up alone with you
Put your finger on the things I like to do
Well anything can happen
There's a feel in the air around you
Commanding parts of me
I never ever knew
I want your love
of flesh and blood
hey you!
This was really meant to be
It's for sure our destiny
Making lovers out of friends
I don't believe in accidents
Anything can happen
when you hit that electric room in me
I lose the time, the place and everything I see
Well anything can happen
there's nothin' else in the world I'd rather do
than to feed the secret dreams
hidden in you
You want the love
of flesh and blood
hey you!
This was really meant to be
It's for sure our destiny
Making lovers out of friends
I don't believe in accidents
I don't believe in accidents
Hey you!
This was really meant to be
It's for sure our destiny
Making lovers out of friends
Don't believe in accidents
This was really meant to be
It's for sure our destiny
Making lovers out friends
I don't believe in accidents
I don't believe in accidents
Don't believe in accidents
Don't believe in accidents...

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Walt Whitman

Starting From Paumanok

STARTING from fish-shape Paumanok, where I was born,
Well-begotten, and rais'd by a perfect mother;
After roaming many lands--lover of populous pavements;
Dweller in Mannahatta, my city--or on
southern savannas;
Or a soldier camp'd, or carrying my knapsack and gun--or a miner in
California;
Or rude in my home in Dakota's woods, my diet meat, my drink from the
spring;
Or withdrawn to muse and meditate in some deep recess,
Far from the clank of crowds, intervals passing, rapt and happy;
Aware of the fresh free giver, the flowing Missouri--aware of mighty
Niagara;
Aware of the buffalo herds, grazing the plains--the hirsute and
strong-breasted bull; 10
Of earth, rocks, Fifth-month flowers, experienced--stars, rain, snow,
my amaze;
Having studied the mocking-bird's tones, and the mountainhawk's,
And heard at dusk the unrival'd one, the hermit thrush from the
swamp-cedars,
Solitary, singing in the West, I strike up for a New World.


Victory, union, faith, identity, time,
The indissoluble compacts, riches, mystery,
Eternal progress, the kosmos, and the modern reports.

This, then, is life;
Here is what has come to the surface after so many throes and
convulsions.

How curious! how real! 20
Underfoot the divine soil--overhead the sun.

See, revolving, the globe;
The ancestor-continents, away, group'd together;
The present and future continents, north and south, with the isthmus
between.

See, vast, trackless spaces;
As in a dream, they change, they swiftly fill;
Countless masses debouch upon them;
They are now cover'd with the foremost people, arts, institutions,
known.

See, projected, through time,
For me, an audience interminable. 30

With firm and regular step they wend--they never stop,
Successions of men, Americanos, a hundred millions;

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Dangerous

Written by marti sharron, stephen mitchell & gary p. skardina
Da, da, da, da, da, da dangerous
Da, da, da, dan, da, dangerous
All my friends say hes much too hot
Dont get involved, its emotional shock
But ooh, he charges my electricity
When he puts his finger on me
I said a oh, oh, oh, you know I want you and i
And i, and I need you pretty baby
Im in the fire, theres just no turning back
Though I know, know, know
Youre dangerous (ooh)
So hot and heavy, I know that I just cant resist
Ooh, dangerous
I feel my heart beat, I feel it beating faster
Ooh, ooh, too dangerous
(ooh) the way you kiss me, I know I never felt like this
Oh, youre dangerous
Wild even stranger
Need a little danger
Hoo, ooh
(oh) you make your move and Im begging please
Then youre pushing me away, you know youre such a tease
One look can drive me right out of my mind
And get my heart pumping double time
And then I hear myself say you better be strong
Stay away; hes gonna do wrong
You better run girl while youve got the chance
cause you know, know, know
Hes dangerous (ooh)
So hot and heavy, I know that I just cant resist
Ooh dangerous, I feel my heart beat, I feel it beating faster
Ooh, ooh too dangerous (ooh)
The way you kiss me, I never, ever felt like this
Oh, youre dangerous
Wild even stranger, need a little of your love (love)
Your love, oh, oh, oh
Ooh, oh, oh, oh
Im in too deep and when youre close to me
I get so weak
Our bodies touch and then our hearts collide
I feel inside, emotional love exploding
Musical interlude
Oh, dangerous (ooh)
So hot and heavy I know that I just cant resist (this)
Ooh dangerous, I feel my heart beat, beating a little bit faster
Ooh, ooh too dangerous (ooh)
The way you kiss me, I never, ever felt like this (this)
(oh, youre dangerous)
Wild even stranger, need a little danger

[...] Read more

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Will you still accept me as your husband? ? ?

Does only going to the corporate office from an exact 9 in the morning to 9 in the bewitching night; prove that a man is indeed an infallibly true husband to his jubilantly vivacious wife?

Does only possessing a perfectly sculptured masculine and virile body; prove that a man is indeed an unconquerably blessed husband to his euphorically tantalizing wife?

Does only earning infinite bundles of quintessential currency note every month; prove that a man is indeed an inimitably worthy husband to his pristinely effulgent wife?

Does only attending the world’s premium cocktail parties and conferences; prove that a man is indeed a pricelessly undefeatable husband to his wondrously enthralling wife?

Does only draping each conceivable pore of the skin with the most opulent fabric; pearls; and ties available in the world; prove that a man is indeed a stupendously enamoring husband to his beautifully effervescent wife?

Does only attracting gargantuan hordes of crowds towards with the mere essence of a celebrity personality; prove that a man is indeed a deservedly smart husband to his insuperably redolent wife?

Does only unceasingly perpetuating the atmosphere with the scent of majestic cigar smoke and kingly wine; prove that a man is indeed a effulgently princely husband to his poignantly intricate wife?

Does only having an inimitably infallible signature proudly embossed on every existing check; prove that a man is indeed a regally eclectic husband to his triumphantly gyrating wife?
Does only conversing at an unbelievably adroit nineteen to the dozen in the most enviably impregnable British accent; prove that a man is indeed an amazingly fulfilling husband to his unimpeachably contemporary wife?

Does only exuding into a billion globules of perseveringly golden sweat every day; prove that a man is indeed an earnestly hard working husband to his piquantly boisterous wife?

Does only possessing supernaturally miraculous qualities of being able to fly bare-chested in freezing air; prove that a man is indeed a truly devoted husband to his eternally replenishing wife?

Does only possessing an unparalleled sense of humor wherein even the most deliriously suicidal metamorphosed into smiling saints; prove that a man is indeed a proficiently versatile husband to his robustly exhilarating wife?

Does only having a magically unwavering baritone that spell bound millions in minute seconds; prove that a man is indeed a bountifully ardent husband to his unfathomably sensuous wife?

Does only writing countless lines of “Nobel Prize Winning” literature on Immortal Love; prove that a man is indeed an uniquely pioneering husband to his unconventionally Samaritan wife?

Does only endlessly winning over every territory of the boundless earth; prove that a man is indeed a fervently unassailable husband to his magnetically enthralling wife?

Does only being inundated with infinite hair and glistening muscle on the chest; prove that a man is indeed an astonishingly audacious husband to his gregariously pretty wife?

Does only being an unequivocally svelte emperor on the world stage of unprecedented power; prove that a man is indeed a wondrously iridescent husband to his gorgeously supple wife?

Does only indefatigably gallivanting in the most scintillating of “Rolls Royce” and “Mercedes”; prove that a man is indeed an unmatched dream husband to his unfathomably vanity wife?

Does only astoundingly sketching the persona of any organism on the unceasing Universe merely by fantasizing about the same; prove that a man is indeed a jubilantly embracing husband to his charmingly benign wife?

And if didn’t posses even a single quality amongst the several spell bindingly enriching ones as listed above; although each beat of my immortally throbbing heart loves you like noone else could on this tirelessly proliferating planet; will you still accept me as your husband; O! darling wife? ? ?

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Homer

The Iliad: Book 15

But when their flight had taken them past the trench and the set
stakes, and many had fallen by the hands of the Danaans, the Trojans
made a halt on reaching their chariots, routed and pale with fear.
Jove now woke on the crests of Ida, where he was lying with
golden-throned Juno by his side, and starting to his feet he saw the
Trojans and Achaeans, the one thrown into confusion, and the others
driving them pell-mell before them with King Neptune in their midst.
He saw Hector lying on the ground with his comrades gathered round
him, gasping for breath, wandering in mind and vomiting blood, for
it was not the feeblest of the Achaeans who struck him.
The sire of gods and men had pity on him, and looked fiercely on
Juno. "I see, Juno," said he, "you mischief- making trickster, that
your cunning has stayed Hector from fighting and has caused the rout
of his host. I am in half a mind to thrash you, in which case you will
be the first to reap the fruits of your scurvy knavery. Do you not
remember how once upon a time I had you hanged? I fastened two
anvils on to your feet, and bound your hands in a chain of gold
which none might break, and you hung in mid-air among the clouds.
All the gods in Olympus were in a fury, but they could not reach you
to set you free; when I caught any one of them I gripped him and
hurled him from the heavenly threshold till he came fainting down to
earth; yet even this did not relieve my mind from the incessant
anxiety which I felt about noble Hercules whom you and Boreas had
spitefully conveyed beyond the seas to Cos, after suborning the
tempests; but I rescued him, and notwithstanding all his mighty
labours I brought him back again to Argos. I would remind you of
this that you may learn to leave off being so deceitful, and
discover how much you are likely to gain by the embraces out of
which you have come here to trick me."
Juno trembled as he spoke, and said, "May heaven above and earth
below be my witnesses, with the waters of the river Styx- and this
is the most solemn oath that a blessed god can take- nay, I swear also
by your own almighty head and by our bridal bed- things over which I
could never possibly perjure myself- that Neptune is not punishing
Hector and the Trojans and helping the Achaeans through any doing of
mine; it is all of his own mere motion because he was sorry to see the
Achaeans hard pressed at their ships: if I were advising him, I should
tell him to do as you bid him."
The sire of gods and men smiled and answered, "If you, Juno, were
always to support me when we sit in council of the gods, Neptune, like
it or no, would soon come round to your and my way of thinking. If,
then, you are speaking the truth and mean what you say, go among the
rank and file of the gods, and tell Iris and Apollo lord of the bow,
that I want them- Iris, that she may go to the Achaean host and tell
Neptune to leave off fighting and go home, and Apollo, that he may
send Hector again into battle and give him fresh strength; he will
thus forget his present sufferings, and drive the Achaeans back in
confusion till they fall among the ships of Achilles son of Peleus.
Achilles will then send his comrade Patroclus into battle, and
Hector will kill him in front of Ilius after he has slain many

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Dangerous Girl

How can I say goodbye?
When you saw underneath my skin?
Please be mine, all the time
I would halfway around the world
I used to be daddy's little girl
You were my hip-hopper
You were my heart-stopper
Yeah you're the only one that makes me feel
You make me feel like a dangerous girl
Like a dangerous girl
Your baggy jeans, you conquer me
You got my name tattooed on your thigh
So hardcore, I'm down for more
You touch me and left me in this world
You turned me back to daddy's little girl
You were my hip-hopper
You were my heart-stopper
Yeah you're the only one that makes me feel
You make me feel like a dangerous girl
Like a dangerous girl
You are my eye candy
You are my fat daddy
Yeah you are the only one who makes me feel
You make me feel like a dangerous girl
Like a dangerous girl
Like a dangerous girl
Like a dangerous girl
I was just on the plane
Next to you just to landing
Your ?car with the face turned to brown?
Cruising at speeds that the law would never allow
I know all you see is a innocent girl
Around you I'm free like a bird who has just left the ground
In a (?)
You were my hip-hopper
You were my heart-stopper
Yeah you're the only one that makes me feel
You make me feel like a dangerous girl
Like a dangerous girl
You are my eye candy
You are my fat daddy
Yeah you are the only one who makes me feel
You make me feel like a dangerous girl
You were my hip-hopper
You were my heart-stopper
Yeah you're the only one that makes me feel
You make me feel like a dangerous girl
Like a dangerous girl

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Homer

The Iliad: Book 5

Then Pallas Minerva put valour into the heart of Diomed, son of
Tydeus, that he might excel all the other Argives, and cover himself
with glory. She made a stream of fire flare from his shield and helmet
like the star that shines most brilliantly in summer after its bath in
the waters of Oceanus- even such a fire did she kindle upon his head
and shoulders as she bade him speed into the thickest hurly-burly of
the fight.
Now there was a certain rich and honourable man among the Trojans,
priest of Vulcan, and his name was Dares. He had two sons, Phegeus and
Idaeus, both of them skilled in all the arts of war. These two came
forward from the main body of Trojans, and set upon Diomed, he being
on foot, while they fought from their chariot. When they were close up
to one another, Phegeus took aim first, but his spear went over
Diomed's left shoulder without hitting him. Diomed then threw, and his
spear sped not in vain, for it hit Phegeus on the breast near the
nipple, and he fell from his chariot. Idaeus did not dare to
bestride his brother's body, but sprang from the chariot and took to
flight, or he would have shared his brother's fate; whereon Vulcan
saved him by wrapping him in a cloud of darkness, that his old
father might not be utterly overwhelmed with grief; but the son of
Tydeus drove off with the horses, and bade his followers take them
to the ships. The Trojans were scared when they saw the two sons of
Dares, one of them in fright and the other lying dead by his
chariot. Minerva, therefore, took Mars by the hand and said, "Mars,
Mars, bane of men, bloodstained stormer of cities, may we not now
leave the Trojans and Achaeans to fight it out, and see to which of
the two Jove will vouchsafe the victory? Let us go away, and thus
avoid his anger."
So saying, she drew Mars out of the battle, and set him down upon
the steep banks of the Scamander. Upon this the Danaans drove the
Trojans back, and each one of their chieftains killed his man. First
King Agamemnon flung mighty Odius, captain of the Halizoni, from his
chariot. The spear of Agamemnon caught him on the broad of his back,
just as he was turning in flight; it struck him between the
shoulders and went right through his chest, and his armour rang
rattling round him as he fell heavily to the ground.
Then Idomeneus killed Phaesus, son of Borus the Meonian, who had
come from Varne. Mighty Idomeneus speared him on the right shoulder as
he was mounting his chariot, and the darkness of death enshrouded
him as he fell heavily from the car.
The squires of Idomeneus spoiled him of his armour, while
Menelaus, son of Atreus, killed Scamandrius the son of Strophius, a
mighty huntsman and keen lover of the chase. Diana herself had
taught him how to kill every kind of wild creature that is bred in
mountain forests, but neither she nor his famed skill in archery could
now save him, for the spear of Menelaus struck him in the back as he
was flying; it struck him between the shoulders and went right through
his chest, so that he fell headlong and his armour rang rattling round
him.
Meriones then killed Phereclus the son of Tecton, who was the son of

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The Columbiad: Book IV

The Argument


Destruction of Peru foretold. Grief of Columbus. He is comforte the promise of a vision of future ages. All Europe appears in vision. Effect of the discovery of America upon the affairs of Europe. Improvement in commerce; government. Revival of letters. Order of the Jesuits. Religious persecution. Inquisition. Rise and progress of more liberal principles. Character of Raleigh; who plans the settlement of North America. Formation of the coast by the gulph stream. Nature of the colonial establishments, the first great asylum and infant empire of Liberty. Liberty the necessary foundation of morals. Delaware arrives with a reinforcement of new settlers, to consolidate the colony of Virginia. Night scene, as contemplated by these patriarchs, while they are sailing up the Chesapeak, and are saluted by the river gods. Prophetic speech of Potowmak. Fleets of settlers from seyeral parts of Europe steering for America.


In one dark age, beneath a single hand,
Thus rose an empire in the savage land.
Its wealth and power with following years increase,
Its growing nations spread the walks of peace;
Religion here, that universal name,
Man's proudest passion, most ungovern'd flame,
Erects her altars on the same bright base,
That dazzled erst, and still deludes the race;
Sun, moon, all powers that forceful strike his eyes,
Earth-shaking storms and constellated skies.

Yet all the pomp his labors here unfold,
The vales of verdure and the towers of gold,
Those infant arts and sovereign seats of state,
In short-lived glory hasten to their fate.
Thy followers, rushing like an angry flood,
Too soon shall drench them in the nation's blood;
Nor thou, Las Casas, best of men, shalt stay
The ravening legions from their guardless prey.
O hapless prelate! hero, saint and sage,
Foredoom'd with crimes a fruitless war to wage,
To see at last (thy life of virtue run)
A realm unpeopled and a world undone!
While pious Valverde mock of priesthood stands,
Guilt in his heart, the gospel in his hands,
Bids, in one field, their unarm'd thousands bleed,
Smiles o'er the scene and sanctifies the deed.
And thou, brave Gasca, with persuasive strain,
Shalt lift thy voice and urge thy power in vain;
Vain are thy hopes the sinking land to save,
Or call her slaughter'd millions from the grave.

Here Hesper paused. Columbus with a sigh
Cast o'er the continent his moisten'd eye,
And thus replied: Ah, hide me in the tomb;
Why should I live to see the impending doom?
If such foul deeds the scheme of heaven compose,
And virtue's toils induce redoubled woes,
Unfold no more; but grant a kind release;
Give me, tis all I ask, to rest in peace.

And thou shalt rest in peace, the Saint rejoin'd,
Ere these conflicting shades involve mankind.
But broader views shall first thy mind engage,

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