The only things I'm competitive in are backgammon and poker.
quote by Kate Hudson
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Lazy Poker Blues
Written by peter green and adams.
Me and my baby dont do nothing but lay around all day long
I said me and my baby dont do nothing but lay around all day long
Yeah when Im with my baby, lazy poker goin on
She puts some coal on the fire so I can keep my poker hot
She puts some coal on the fire so I can keep my poker hot
Yeah, we stoke around all day long and night time we stoke around some more
Well now me and my baby dont do nothin but lay around the whole day long
I said me and my baby dont do nothin but lay around the whole day long
When Im with my baby, lazy poker goin on
song performed by Fleetwood Mac
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4% Pantomime
The management said they were sorry
For the inconvenience you are suffering
And mr. booking agent, please have mercy
Dont book the jobs so far apart
We went up to griffith park
With a fifth of johnny walker red
And smashed it on a rock and wept
While the old couple looked on into the dark
Oh, richard, tell me if its poker
Oh, richard, tell me, whos got the joker and is it poker
Deuces wild, like an only child
Ill see what you got. how much is in the pot
You pay the tips and Ill collect the chips
Its a full house tonight -- everybody in town is a loser
Yeah, you bet
The dealers been dealing me bad hands
From the bottom of the deck without the slightest blush
And I dont know whether to call or check
But right now I feel like I got a royal flush
And my lady didnt show from frisco
But we had to go on with the show
Everybody got stoned -- it was a gas, it was a smash
Everybody got wrecked, checked. oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh, belfast cowboy, lay your cards on the grade
Oh, belfast cowboy, can you call a spade a spade
Oh, richard, tell me, is the game poker
I cant understand who the fool is that holds this joker
Is it poker
Oh, belfast cowboy, lay your cards down on the table
Oh, belfast cowboy, do you think youre able
song performed by Van Morrison
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Punch Up At 'Dart Man's Aim
Fifteen stone and just five foot eight
And yet he doesn't seem overweight
Deep, deep chest and shoulders wide
The strongest in this countryside.
He's the mighty Dan the frog
From the house beside the bog
Swarthy looking with raven hair
A happy man without a care.
He's no plans to take a wife
As he prefers the single life
And he's still a young man anyway
Just twenty five on his last birthday
Froggy is his dad's nickname
And that's from where the name frog came
But his nickname of frog he doesn't appreciate
In fact the word called frog he's grown to hate.
Fastest man for miles around
To part with the green back pound
In him you'll find nothing cheap
Money he can't seem to keep.
He's a happy sort of bloke
Happy even when he's broke
He's got the right mentality
Never down, always carefree.
Likes his guinness doesn't like beer
Drinks his liquor with good cheer,
Whiskey makes the man walk tall
And he likes whiskey best of all.
He is merciful though strong
And without good reason won't do wrong
But do him wrong and he will fight
And with his fists he'll put things right.
He'd prefer to crack your jaw
Than chastise you with the law
Solves his problems like a man
That's the way it is with Dan.
And though when need arise he can be hard
Dan the frog is no blaghguard
But his type you don't kick around
As men like him do not yield ground
[...] Read more
poem by Francis Duggan
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A Minstrel In The Gallery
The Minstrel in the Gallery looked down upon the smiling faces.
He met the gazes - observed the spaces between the old men's cackle.
He brewed a song of love and hatred - oblique suggestions - and he waited.
He polarized the pumpkin-eaters - static-humming panel-beaters - freshly
day-glo'd factory cheaters (salaried and collar-scrubbing).
He titillated men-of-action - belly warming, hands still rubbing on the
parts they never mention.
He pacified the nappy-suffering, infant-bleating one-line jokers - T.V.
documentary makers (over-fed and undertakers).
Sunday paper backgammon players - family-scarred and women-haters.
Then he called the band down to the stage and he looked at all the friends
he'd made.
[Instrumental]
The Minstrel in the Gallery looked down upon the smiling faces.
He met the gazes - observed the spaces in between the old men's cackle.
And he brewed a song of love and hatred - oblique suggestions - and he
waited.
He polarized the pumpkin-eaters - static-humming panel-beaters.
The Minstrel in the Gallery looked down on the rabbit-run.
And threw away his looking-glass - saw his face in everyone.
Hey!
He titillated men-of-action - belly warming, hands still rubbing on the
parts they never mention (salaried and collar-scrubbing).
He pacified the nappy-suffering, infant-bleating one-line jokers - T.V.
documentary makers (over-fed and undertakers).
Sunday paper backgammon players - family-scarred and women-haters.
Then he called the band down to the stage and he looked at all the friends
he'd made.
The Minstrel in the Gallery looked down on the rabbit-run.
And he threw away his looking-glass and saw his face in everyone.
Hey!
The Minstrel in the Gallery. Yes!
Looked down upon the smiling faces.
He met the gazes. Yeah!
Mm. The Minstrel in the Gallery
song performed by Jethro Tull
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Days of 1908
That was the year when he stayed
Without work, for a living played
Cards, or backgammon; or borrowed and never paid.
He was offered a place at a small
Stationer’s, three pounds a month. It didn’t suit him.
It was not decent pay at all.
He refused it without hesitation;
He was twenty-five, and of good education.
Two or three shillings he made, more or less.
From cards and backgammon what could a boy skim;
At the common places, the cafés of his grade,
Although he played sharply, and picked stupid players.
As for borrowing, that didn’t always come off.
He seldom struck a dollar, oftener he’d fall
To half, and sometimes as low as a shilling.
Sometimes, when he got away from the grim
Night-sitting, for a week at a time or more,
He would cool himself at the baths, with a morning swim.
The shabbiness of his clothes was tragical.
He always wore the same suit, always displayed
A suit of cinnamon brown discoloured and frayed.
O summer days of nineteen hundred and eight, I recall
The picture of you, and out of it seems to fade,
Harmoniously, that cinnamon suit discoloured and frayed.
The picture of you has preserved him
Just as he would take off, would fling down
The unworthy clothes, the mended under clothes,
And remain all naked; faultlessly beautiful; a wonder.
Uncombed and lifted up his hair was;
His limbs a little sunburnt
From the morning nakedness at the baths and on the beach.
poem by Constantine P. Cavafy
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Malmaison
I
How the slates of the roof sparkle in the sun, over there, over there,
beyond the high wall! How quietly the Seine runs in loops and windings,
over there, over there, sliding through the green countryside! Like ships
of the line, stately with canvas, the tall clouds pass along the sky,
over the glittering roof, over the trees, over the looped and curving river.
A breeze quivers through the linden-trees. Roses bloom at Malmaison.
Roses! Roses! But the road is dusty. Already the Citoyenne Beauharnais
wearies of her walk. Her skin is chalked and powdered with dust,
she smells dust, and behind the wall are roses! Roses with
smooth open petals, poised above rippling leaves . . . Roses . . .
They have told her so. The Citoyenne Beauharnais shrugs her shoulders
and makes a little face. She must mend her pace if she would be back
in time for dinner. Roses indeed! The guillotine more likely.
The tiered clouds float over Malmaison, and the slate roof sparkles
in the sun.
II
Gallop! Gallop! The General brooks no delay. Make way, good people,
and scatter out of his path, you, and your hens, and your dogs,
and your children. The General is returned from Egypt, and is come
in a `caleche' and four to visit his new property. Throw open the gates,
you, Porter of Malmaison. Pull off your cap, my man, this is your master,
the husband of Madame. Faster! Faster! A jerk and a jingle
and they are arrived, he and she. Madame has red eyes. Fie! It is for joy
at her husband's return. Learn your place, Porter. A gentleman here
for two months? Fie! Fie, then! Since when have you taken to gossiping.
Madame may have a brother, I suppose. That -- all green, and red,
and glitter, with flesh as dark as ebony -- that is a slave; a bloodthirsty,
stabbing, slashing heathen, come from the hot countries to cure your tongue
of idle whispering.
A fine afternoon it is, with tall bright clouds sailing over the trees.
'Bonaparte, mon ami, the trees are golden like my star, the star I pinned
to your destiny when I married you. The gypsy, you remember her prophecy!
My dear friend, not here, the servants are watching; send them away,
and that flashing splendour, Roustan. Superb -- Imperial, but . . .
My dear, your arm is trembling; I faint to feel it touching me! No, no,
Bonaparte, not that -- spare me that -- did we not bury that last night!
You hurt me, my friend, you are so hot and strong. Not long, Dear,
no, thank God, not long.'
[...] Read more
poem by Amy Lowell
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A Game Of Poker
A deck of cards, and I think of the game poker
An ace is a joker
Or a choker
In the game of poker
You can win from behind
With five, four or three of a kind
Never be in a rush
To dish out a flush
When you do, rub it in a a blush
This game of poker, I love so much
Every card and every single touch
Winners, beginners, high shakers and losers
poem by Sylvia Chidi
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The Jack
She gave me the Queen
She gave me the King
She was wheelin' and dealin'
Just doin' her thing
She was holdin' a pair
But I had to try
Her Deuce was wild
But my Ace was high
But how was I to know
That she'd been dealt with before
Said she'd never had a Full House
But I should have known
From the tattoo on her left leg
And the garter on her right
She'd have the card to bring me down
If she played it right
She's got the Jack
Poker face was her name
Poker face was her nature
Poker straight was her game
If she knew she could get you
She play'd 'em fast
She play'd 'em hard
She could close her eyes
And feel every card
But how was I to know
That she'd been shuffled before
Said she'd never had a Royal Flush
But I should have known
That all the cards were comin'
From the bottom of the pack
And if I'd known what she was dealin' out
I'd have dealt it back
She's got the Jack.
song performed by AC/DC from High Voltage
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She's Got The Jack
She gave me the Queen
She gave me the King
She was wheelin' and dealin'
Just doin' her thing
She was holdin' a pair
But I had to try
Her Deuce was wild
But my Ace was high
But how was I to know
That she'd been dealt with before
Said she'd never had a Full House
But I should have known
From the tattoo on her left leg
And the garter on her right
She'd have the card to bring me down
If she played it right
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack
She's got the jack
Poker face was her name
Poker face was her nature
Poker straight was her game
If she knew she could get you
She played 'em fast
And she played 'em hard
She could close her eyes
And feel every card
But how was I to know
That she'd been shuffled before
Said she'd never had a Royal Flush
But I should have known
That all the cards were comin'
From the bottom of the pack
And if I'd known what she was dealin' out
I'd have dealt it back
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, and who knows what else?
She's got the jack, yeah, yeah
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack
She's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack,
Ooh, It was a bad deal, (Jack)
She gave me the (Jack), hey
She's got the (Jack), she's got the (Jack)
She's got the (Jack), ooh can't you tell
[...] Read more
song performed by AC-DC
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The Thrill Is In The Chase
Girls never like to know
Their love for him is true
Cause the nature of the beast
Says he wants to pursue
He wants what he cannot have
And he won't be outdone
Cause he'll always love the one that keeps him on the run
The thrill is in the chase
And I guess they know that too
Cause I've been running long and hard
And can't catch up to you
Girls if you think you've found true love
Keep your poker face
Cause I know better, the thrill is in the chase
If he's far, far away
Don't call him on the phone
Never let him know
You spend some nights alone
I can tell you one thing more
That I've found to be true
That he'll always love the one that makes him blue
The thrill is in the chase
And I guess they know that too
Cause I've been running long and hard
And can't catch up to you
Girls if you think you've found true love
Keep your poker face
Cause I know better, the thrill is in the chase
Girls if you think you've found true love
Keep your poker face
Cause I know better, the thrill is in the chase
Cause I know better, the thrill is in the chase
song performed by Dixie Chicks
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Where's the Poker?
The poker lost, poor Susan storm'd,
And all the rites of rage perform'd;
As scolding, crying, swearing, sweating,
Abusing, fidgetting, and fretting.
"Nothing but villany, and thieving;
Good heavens! what a world we live in!
If I don't find it in the morning,
I'll surely give my master warning.
He'd better far shut up his doors,
Than keep such good for nothing whores;
For wheresoe'er their trade they drive,
We vartuous bodies cannot thrive."
Well may poor Susan grunt and groan;
Misfortunes never come alone,
But tread each other's heels in throngs,
For the next day she lost the tongs;
The salt box, colander, and pot
Soon shar'd the same untimely lot.
In vain she vails and wages spent
On new ones--for the new ones went.
There'd been (she swore) some dev'l or witch in,
To rob or plunder all the kitchen.
One night she to her chamber crept
(Where for a month she had not slept;
Her master being, to her seeming,
A better play fellow than dreaming).
Curse on the author of these wrongs,
In her own bed she found the tongs,
(Hang Thomas for an idle joker!)
In her own bed she found the poker,
With the salt box, pepper box, and kettle,
With all the culinary metal.--
Be warn'd, ye fair, by Susans crosses:
Keep chaste and guard yourselves from losses;
For if young girls delight in kissing,
No wonder that the poker's missing.
poem by Christopher Smart
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The Broom, the Shovel, the Poker and the Tongs
The Broom and the Shovel, the Poker and Tongs,
They all took a drive in the Park,
and they each sang a song, Ding-a-dong, Ding-a-dong,
Before they went back in the dark.
Mr Poker he sate quite upright in the coach,
Mr Tongs made a clatter and clash,
Miss Shovel was dressed all in black (with a brooch),
Mrs Broom was in blue (with a sash).
Ding-a-dong! Ding-a-dong!
And they all sang a song!
'O Shovely so lovely!' the Poker he sang,
'You have perfectly conquered my heart!
Ding-a-dong! Ding-a-dong! If you're pleased with my song,
I will feed you with cold apple tart!
When you scrape up the coals with a delicate sound,
You enrapture my life with delight!
Your nose is so shiny! your head is so round!
And your shape is so slender and bright!
Ding-a-dong! Ding-a-dong!
Ain't you pleased with my song?'
'Alas! Mrs Broom!' sighed the Tongs in his song,
'O is it because I'm so thin,
And my legs are so long - Ding-a-dong! Ding-a-dong!
That you don't care about me a pin?
Ah! fairest of creatures, when sweeping the room,
Ah! why don't you heed my complaint!
Must you needs be so cruel, you beautiful Broom,
Because you are covered with paint!
Ding-a-dong! Ding-a-dong!
You are certainly wrong!'
Mrs Broom and Miss Shovel together they sang,
'What nonsense you're singing today!'
Said the Shovel, 'I'll certainly hit you a bang!'
Said the Broom, 'And I'll sweep you away!'
So the Coachman drove homeward as fast as he could,
Perceiving their anger with pain;
But they put on the kettle, and little by little,
They all became happy again.
Ding-a-dong! Ding-a-dong!
There's an end of my song!
poem by Edward Lear
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Shovel And Tongs
The Poker proposed to the shovel
That they should be man and wife,
'I think,' said he, 'that we could agree
As we journey along through life.'
The Shovel blushed as she answered,
'I thank you kindly, Mister,
But my promise belongs to the faithful Tongs,
So I only can be your sister.'
And when the couple were married
The Stove gave the Shovel away;
And it seemed too bad that the Poker, poor lad,
Was the Tongs' best man on that day.
But the Poker soon after was wedded
To the hearth broom, slender and slick;
And 'twas whispered about Mrs. Tongs was put out
Because he found comfort so quick.
poem by Ella Wheeler Wilcox
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Jacta Alea Est
JACTA ALEA EST
One world penetrates another:
roleplay cad-I-lack, Rolls, turn into casino.
One stage upstages another:
dice roll at sixes and sevens.
One wish collides with another,
shuffled hands wrung sans sleight of hand.
One ball follows another reel
steals into black hole, alack
sees red upon green baize.
One card hides behind another
where kings and queens signify nothing.
One [s]take's raised: another
ace outbluffs poker face buff.
Bank deal breaks idyll: another
soul's goals slide from real-I-tease.
1 October 1997 revised 1 July 2007,26 January 2010 and 5 March 2011
robi03_0852_robi03_0000 VXX_CJX
Previous title Alea
for previous versions see below
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
ALEA
One world rides into another
as roleplay cad-I-lack rolls turns into casino.
Short stack folds as another
fans shorter lived self-conceit.
One role folds into another
as dice roll at sixes and sevens.
Long face blows hot and cold as another
buff advances a round bound to chance bluff.
One wish collides with another
[...] Read more
poem by Jonathan Robin
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Difference In The Dark
They say the pot calls every kettle black
and pokers poke fun always at a shovel,
and chiropractors call a doc a quack,
but please don’t call my home sweet home a hovel.
They say that every lawyer is a shark,
and that a sexy woman has to be a slut,
but I can’t tell the difference in the dark,
or when the light’s on, when my eyes are shut.
When standing up, a man deserves applause,
but if he can’t, what should you call his poker
when narrative can’t keep up with the laws
of nature, and the poker is a joker?
Inspired by a review by Charles Rosen of a new edition of the Essays of Montaigne published by Pléiade (NYR, February 14 2008) :
He was, in fact, only fifty-five years old, but he was already experiencing the sense of old age. In another essay he describes what advancing years have done to him. “I can no longer make children standing up” [perhaps that was considered a proof of virility in his time]….
A view of adultery as completely natural is developed at length…At one point he addresses all male readers directly: “And of you have cuckolded somebody”-and that logically means it will happen to you. In the East Indies, he reports, a married woman is expected to be chaste, but she is allowed to abandon herself to any man who gives her an elephant. The essay best reveals an essential trait of Montaigne: he had almost no sense of guilt-regret often enough, of course, but no guilt It is no wonder that he thought repentance more a nuisance than a virtue. “On Some Verses of Virgil” is not only a nostalgic and frank discussion of sex, but also a collection of misogynistic anecdotes and jokes, banalities and classical traditions, largely to establish that it is absurd to force women to live by rules fashioned by men, and to require them to believe that that are not interested in sex, when they are in fact more lascivious than men—having so much less to occupy them…The coexist happily. And the idea is reinforced by further commonplaces:
It is easier to attack one sex than to excuse the other. As we say: the ot calls the kettle black. [More literally, the poker makes fun of the shovel.]
2/2/08
poem by Gershon Hepner
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On The Retirement Of Ian Thorpe
I heard on the radio in the sports news today
That Ian Thorpe the great swimmer has give competitive swimming away
A winner of nine Olympic medals five of them gold
Of his greatness in story and song we've been told
Australia's greatest ever swimmer if not the World's best
He was never found to be wanting when put to the test
But at twenty four years he said enough for me
At the World Championships and the Olympics him we'll never more see
At the prime of his life one might say a young man
But at top competitive swimming top swimmers do not have a long span
In the World of swimming he is an all time great
And his world Championship and Olympic victories Aussies did celebrate
A world renowned swimmer since he was a boy
And life after competitive swimming may he now enjoy.
poem by Francis Duggan
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Initial feedback we got from people was that Poker could and should be a product in its own right. For us, that was definitely a case of us not seeing the forest for the trees since we are Poker nuts.
quote by Tim Page
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The Hammers
I
Frindsbury, Kent, 1786
Bang!
Bang!
Tap!
Tap-a-tap! Rap!
All through the lead and silver Winter days,
All through the copper of Autumn hazes.
Tap to the red rising sun,
Tap to the purple setting sun.
Four years pass before the job is done.
Two thousand oak trees grown and felled,
Two thousand oaks from the hedgerows of the Weald,
Sussex had yielded two thousand oaks
With huge boles
Round which the tape rolls
Thirty mortal feet, say the village folks.
Two hundred loads of elm and Scottish fir;
Planking from Dantzig.
My! What timber goes into a ship!
Tap! Tap!
Two years they have seasoned her ribs on the ways,
Tapping, tapping.
You can hear, though there's nothing where you gaze.
Through the fog down the reaches of the river,
The tapping goes on like heart-beats in a fever.
The church-bells chime
Hours and hours,
Dropping days in showers.
Bang! Rap! Tap!
Go the hammers all the time.
They have planked up her timbers
And the nails are driven to the head;
They have decked her over,
And again, and again.
The shoring-up beams shudder at the strain.
Black and blue breeches,
Pigtails bound and shining:
Like ants crawling about,
The hull swarms with carpenters, running in and out.
Joiners, calkers,
And they are all terrible talkers.
Jem Wilson has been to sea and he tells some wonderful tales
Of whales, and spice islands,
And pirates off the Barbary coast.
He boasts magnificently, with his mouth full of nails.
Stephen Pibold has a tenor voice,
He shifts his quid of tobacco and sings:
[...] Read more
poem by Amy Lowell
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Smoke and poker (parody
(with apology to Koos A. Kombuis)
in the lane of the light
we go into the location
and there create family
on beds with blankets without sheets.
[Rook en poker (Smoke and poker) by Koos A. Kombuis.]
poem by Gert Strydom
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Last Night I Played Poker With Death
Last night
I played poker with death.
It was a long night
and I wanted to win the game
but I did not win.
And now
I can see from the distance
the erecting hair of sunrise
so pale, but it's golden.
And I see my wife
weeping and weeping
and weeping...
beside my dead body.
I want to embrace her
but this light from above
is lifting me up
higher....and higher.
Last night
I played poker with death
and I did not win.
poem by Marites C. Cayetano
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