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Only in Britain could it be thought a defect to be too clever by half. The probability is that too many people are too stupid by three-quarters.

quote by John Major
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Dare To Be Stupid

Put down your chainsaw and listen to me
Its time for us to join in the fight
Its time to let your babies grow up to be cowboys
Its time to let the bedbugs bite
You better put all your eggs in one basket
You better count your chickens before they hatch
You better sell some wine before its/its time
You better find yourself an itch to scratch
You better squeeze all the charmin you can while mr. wimpoles not around
Stick your head in the microwave and get yourself a tan
Talk with your mouth full
Bite the hand that feeds you
Bite on more than you chew
What can you do
Dare to be stupid
Take some wooden nickles
Look for mr. goodbar
Get your mojo working now
Ill show you how
You can dare to be stupid
You can turn the other cheek
You can just give up the ship
You can eat a bunch of sushi and forget to leave a tip
Dare to be stupid
Come on and dare to be stupid
Its so easy to do
Dare to be stupid
Were all waiting for you
Lets go
Its time to make a mountain out of a molehill
So can I have a volunteer
Theres no more time for crying over spilled milk
Now its time for crying in your beer
Settle down, raise a family, join the pta
Buy some sensible shoes and a chevyrolet
And party till youre broke and they drive you away
Its ok, you can dare to be stupid
Its like spitting on a fish
Its like barking up a tree
Its like I said you gotta buy one if you wanna get one free
Dare to be stupid (yes)
Why dont you dare to be stupid
Its so easy to do
Dare to be stupid
Were all waiting for you
Dare to be stupid
Burn your candle at both ends
Look a gift horse in the mouth
Mashed potatoes can be your friends
You can be a coffee achiever

[...] Read more

song performed by Weird Al Yankovic
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Jughead

Keep it nice and quiet, keep it nice and quiet
What the hell was that?
(hey yall, I thought we bust this new hype before)
All across the land
(new dance commercial take 2)
Rio, marbella - we gettin stupid
Ha, germany, paris france - we gettin stupid
Yeah, stockholm sweden, we love ya
Let me shed, its easier said code red
Bust the new groove just hyped 4 the jughead
Bass thumpin everybodys doin the bumpin
Oops, I slipped on a move
I think its time 2 bust somethin
Sleazy, but cool and easy
(is this the right one? )
Yeah - this is 4 the hood
Better keep it greasy
Better yet on a smooth tip
I dont wanna sweat
I want my slimmie 2 get with this
Move your head and shoulders from side 2 side
Take your back foot, and then u let it slide
Yo, in a fade motion, lots of attitude, coast 2 coast
Then ure floatin homeboys boastin -
U made his skeeze freeze
Uve been chosen, p
Ladies and gentlemen, npg introduces the...
Jughead (jughead)
Yeah, we gettin funky in the house tonite
Kickin the jughead (doin the jughead)
Come on, get stupid, get stupid
Kickin the jughead (jughead)
Oh yeah, we gettin funky in the house tonite
Kickin the jughead, yeah (doin the jughead)
Wait a minute, whats he doin? (get stupid, get stupid)
Well, mack daddy in the house over there
What u doin dawg?
(gettin busy g, kickin the jughead)
Yeah, babys gettin busy in my face
Cold housin a future
Everything has been well placed
This daddys 2 fly
He bust the jughead as he floats to the other side
U watch the rotation, theres a bit of hesitation
This is some new hype stuff ure facin
U gotta come with a new git
The j-u-g-h-e-a-d, and Im flowin with it
U could say Im on a roll
Npg and yall, and were gettin bold, oh
Yes - bold steps must be taken

[...] Read more

song performed by Prince
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STUPID PEOPLE...by Talile Ali

STUPID PEOPLE EVERYWHERE
STUPID PEOPLE WITHOUT A CARE
STUPID PEOPLE WANNA SHARE
STUPID PEOPLE IN MY HAIR

IM IN THE UNITED STATES OF STUPID PEOPLE

STUPID PEOPLE ALL THEY WROTE
STUPID PEOPLE WHO THEY QUOTE
STUPID PEOPLE GET AROUND
STUPID PEOPLE THAT I FOUND

I'M IN THE SQUALLER AND THE WIT OF STUPID PEOPLE

STUPID PEOPLE SO I SWEAR
STUPID PEOPLE I DON'T DARE
STUPID PEOPLE ALL AROUND
STUPID PEOPLE LOST AND FOUND

CAN I GET A BREAK FROM BEING AROUND YOU
STUPID PEOPLE

poem by Talile Ali
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Stupid

So sad to hear that you dont want to hang around with me
So lame to see you leave and to know that you believe that its over
Cause when your weak I feel the need to get underneith your skin
And when you start to tweak I find a way to get up beside you
Stupid, stupid, stupid
Stupid, stupid, stupid
In time youll learn to love me as much as you love yourself
Oh in time youll learn to hate me
Cause when I feel the need to have you back by my side
I am sweet it makes me sick to know that I can be so blind
Stupid, stupid, stupid
Stupid, stupid, stupid
Stupid, stupid, stupid
Stupid, stupid, stupid

song performed by Oleander
Added by Lucian Velea
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For Britain Only

We blasted Glasgow
Invaded France
Assaulted Sweden
Took down our pants
And lovely England
My little kitten
Deliriously
Black widow Bitten
For Britain only
Only for Britain, yeah
For Britain only
Only for Britain
Jumped on the concord
Ain't much for sittin'
I told my boys, now
No public spiting
No bar room fighting
No bad head splitting
Behave yourself 'cause we're, we're back in Britain
For Britain only
Only for Britain
Cost six years of time and space
It took so long to change his face
To redesign his streamline face
Now strong and sleek but still no taste
Guilty
I'm guilty
Won't go to Hungary
Iran is out
Welcome to Moscow, huh
I have my doubts
Can't get near Libya
That boy's insane
Let's head for London
Where we can scream again
For Britain only
Only for Britain, yeah
For Britain only
Only for Britain
For Britain only

song performed by Alice Cooper
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M'Fingal - Canto IV

Now Night came down, and rose full soon
That patroness of rogues, the Moon;
Beneath whose kind protecting ray,
Wolves, brute and human, prowl for prey.
The honest world all snored in chorus,
While owls and ghosts and thieves and Tories,
Whom erst the mid-day sun had awed,
Crept from their lurking holes abroad.

On cautious hinges, slow and stiller,
Wide oped the great M'Fingal's cellar,
Where safe from prying eyes, in cluster,
The Tory Pandemonium muster.
Their chiefs all sitting round descried are,
On kegs of ale and seats of cider;
When first M'Fingal, dimly seen,
Rose solemn from the turnip-bin.
Nor yet his form had wholly lost
Th' original brightness it could boast,
Nor less appear'd than Justice Quorum,
In feather'd majesty before 'em.
Adown his tar-streak'd visage, clear
Fell glistening fast th' indignant tear,
And thus his voice, in mournful wise,
Pursued the prologue of his sighs.

"Brethren and friends, the glorious band
Of loyalty in rebel land!
It was not thus you've seen me sitting,
Return'd in triumph from town-meeting;
When blust'ring Whigs were put to stand,
And votes obey'd my guiding hand,
And new commissions pleased my eyes;
Blest days, but ah, no more to rise!
Alas, against my better light,
And optics sure of second-sight,
My stubborn soul, in error strong,
Had faith in Hutchinson too long.
See what brave trophies still we bring
From all our battles for the king;
And yet these plagues, now past before us,
Are but our entering wedge of sorrows!

"I see, in glooms tempestuous, stand
The cloud impending o'er the land;
That cloud, which still beyond their hopes
Serves all our orators with tropes;

[...] Read more

poem by John Trumbull
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Stupid Cupid

stupid cupid
on that stupid day
hits my stupid heart
with his stupid arrow

stupid blood flows
from my stupid heart
and you are there
stupid enough to
just watch me

on that stupid day
i fall in love with you
and so stupid enough
i never tell you

and you are there
on that stupid day
watching me
and stupid enough
you love me too
but never tell me

stupid day stupid love
stupid cupid stupid us

poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Stupido Stupido

(bacharach / david / cassia)
Italian language song set to the music of wishin and hopin
Stupido, stupido perch? fai cos? tutte le volte che io dico no
Non voglio venire a bailar
Mi piace un altro che non fa
Come lo stupido, stupido, stupido cos? come te
Stupid, stupid why do you behave like that
Every time I say no?
I dont want to come and dance
I like another boy who doesnt act
Stupid, stupid, stupid like you
Bello no non ? ma lamor
Sai perch? mi sa capir
E sa parlar damore
Come tu non sei, no non saprai mai
Perch? tu non sei che stupido, stupido sempre di pi? quello che dici non voglio ascoltar
Lui solo pu? farmi sognar
Tra le sue braccia sento che
Lui non ? stupido stupido, stupido perch?
Perch? mi fa tremar, tremar damor
Hes not goodlooking but I love him
Do you know why? he understands me
And he knows how to talk about love
But you dont, no, youll never know
Because youre just stupid, more and more stupid
I dont want to listen to what you say
Only he can make me dream
In his arms I feel that
Hes not stupid, stupid, stupid because
Because he makes me tremble, tremble with love
Bello no non ? ma lamor
Sai perch? mi sa capir
E sa parlar damore
Come tu non sei, no non saprai mai
Perch? tu non sei che stupido, stupido sempre di pi? quello che dici non voglio ascoltar
Lui solo pu? farmi sognar
Tra le sue braccia sento che
Lui non ? stupido, stupido, stupido perch?
Perch? mi fa tremar, tremar damor
Tremar damor
Tremar damor
Hes not goodlooking but I love him
Do you know why? he understands me
And he knows how to talk about love
But you dont, no, youll never know
Because youre just stupid, more and more stupid
I dont want to listen to what you say
Only he can make me dream
In his arms I feel that
Hes not stupid, stupid, stupid because

[...] Read more

song performed by Dusty Springfield
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Carrolling II-Parody Lewis CARROLL–The Mad Gardener’s Song

Carolling II

He Thought He Saw

He thought he saw new Internet
exchanging peer to peer,
he looked again and found it was
a mirage for each year
sees more control, “what rôle, ” he said,
“for values once held dear?
Some track to trace attack and get
convictions based on fear.'

He dreamt he saw spam disappear,
all consultations free,
he looked again and found it was
a spybot lottery.
“Is net neutrality”, he said,
“from rash risks viral clear? ”

He dreamt that Microsoft would steer
all trash deleted fast,
then woke to find world insincere
where independence past
was sacrificed throughout the year
to biometrics ghast.

He thought he saw a friend’s hello,
with an attachment piece,
he looked again and found it was
the porno scanning police.
“Politically correct”, he said,
“can’t guarantee release.”

He opened it, discovered though,
a trojan horse to fleece –
he looked again as data flow
declined, - mind not at peace -
and whispered with voice hoarse and low:
'when will our worries cease? ”

He thought he saw a hierophant,
who’d deal successful life,
he looked again and found it was
subpoena from ex-wife
demanding child support, he said,
“cards are cut by Time’s knife.”

He looked once more with rage and rant
and swore like a fishwife

[...] Read more

poem by Jonathan Robin
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Carrolling - Parody Lewis CARROLL – The Mad Gardener’s Song

He thought he saw an Internet
exchanging peer to peer,
he looked again and hedged his bet, -
by middle of next year
new routing tables tuned as yet
unknown may well appear –
on track to trace attack and get
convictions based on fear.

He dreamt that spam would disappear,
all trash deleted fast.
He dreamt that Windows would be clear
of viral bugs’ wormcast.
He woke to find world insincere
where independence past
was sacrificed throughout the year
to biometrics ghast.

He thought he saw a friend’s hello
with an attachment piece,
he opened to discover, though,
a trojan horse release –
He looked again as data flow
declined, - mind not at peace -
and whispered with voice timbre low:
‘I’ll send for the Police! ”

He thought he saw a heirophant
predicting happy life.
He looked again, with rage and rant
discovered from ex-wife
an email angry claiming scant
support, which threatened strife:
“At length I see the immanent
attraction of Time’s knife! ”

He dreamt he saw as he awake
the euro reach a peak,
he saw he dreamt that Bush half bake
would leave the dollar weak: -
he woke to find what grave mistake
was made for the next week
the politicians put a stake
in budget – rocked boats leak!

He thought he saw Commission clerk
jump on bandwagon bus,
he looked again, just for a lark,
and found no tinker’s cuss
the former cared for bite was bark -

[...] Read more

poem by Jonathan Robin
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Through the eyes of a Field Coronet (Epic)

Introduction

In the kaki coloured tent in Umbilo he writes
his life’s story while women, children and babies are dying,
slowly but surely are obliterated, he see how his nation is suffering
while the events are notched into his mind.

Lying even heavier on him is the treason
of some other Afrikaners who for own gain
have delivered him, to imprisonment in this place of hatred
and thoughts go through him to write a book.

Prologue

The Afrikaner nation sprouted
from Dutchmen,
who fought decades without defeat
against the super power Spain

mixed with French Huguenots
who left their homes and belongings,
with the revocation of the Edict of Nantes.
Associate this then with the fact

that these people fought formidable
for seven generations
against every onslaught that they got
from savages en wild animals

becoming marksmen, riding
and taming wild horses
with one bullet per day
to hunt a wild antelope,

who migrated right across the country
over hills in mass protest
and then you have
the most formidable adversary
and then let them fight

in a natural wilderness
where the hunter,
the sniper and horseman excels
and any enemy is at a lost.

Let them then also be patriotic
into their souls,
believe in and read
out of the word of God

[...] Read more

poem by Gert Strydom
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M'Fingal - Canto II

The Sun, who never stops to dine,
Two hours had pass'd the mid-way line,
And driving at his usual rate,
Lash'd on his downward car of state.
And now expired the short vacation,
And dinner o'er in epic fashion,
While all the crew, beneath the trees,
Eat pocket-pies, or bread and cheese,
(Nor shall we, like old Homer, care
To versify their bill of fare)
Each active party, feasted well,
Throng'd in, like sheep, at sound of bell;
With equal spirit took their places,
And meeting oped with three Oh Yesses:
When first, the daring Whigs t' oppose,
Again the great M'Fingal rose,
Stretch'd magisterial arm amain,
And thus resumed th' accusing strain.

"Ye Whigs attend, and hear affrighted
The crimes whereof ye stand indicted;
The sins and follies past all compass,
That prove you guilty, or non compos.
I leave the verdict to your senses,
And jury of your consciences;
Which though they're neither good nor true,
Must yet convict you and your crew.

"Ungrateful sons! a factious band,
That rise against your parent land!
Ye viper race, that burst in strife
The genial womb that gave you life,
Tear with sharp fangs and forked tongue
The indulgent bowels whence ye sprung;
And scorn the debt and obligation,
You justly owe the British nation,
Which, since you cannot pay, your crew
Affect to swear was never due.

"Did not the deeds of England's primate
First drive your fathers to this climate,
Whom jails and fines and every ill
Forced to their good against their will?
Ye owe to their obliging temper
The peopling your new-fangled empire,
While every British act and canon
Stood forth your causa sine qua non.

[...] Read more

poem by John Trumbull
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Im So Stupid

cause I used to live
In a fuzzy dream
And I wanted to be
Like all the pretty people
Im so stupid
cause I used to live
In a fuzzy dream
And I used to believe
In a pretty pictures
That were all around me
But now I know for sure
That I was stupid
Chorus:
Please dont try to tempt me
It was just greed
And it wont protect me
Dont want my dreams
Adding up to nothing
I was just looking for
Everybodys looking for something
Im so stupid
cause I used to live
In a tiny bubble
And I wanted to be
Like all the pretty people
That were all around me
But now I know for sure
That I was stupid
Stupider than stupid
Stupider than stupid
Stupider than stupid
(chorus)
Everybodys looking for something
Everybodys stupid stupid
Everybodys looking for something
Everybodys stupid stupid
Everybodys looking for something
Everybodys stupid stupid
Everybodys looking for something
Everybody, everybody
(chorus)

song performed by Madonna
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Hudibras: Part 3 - Canto I

THE ARGUMENT

The Knight and Squire resolve, at once,
The one the other to renounce.
They both approach the Lady's Bower;
The Squire t'inform, the Knight to woo her.
She treats them with a Masquerade,
By Furies and Hobgoblins made;
From which the Squire conveys the Knight,
And steals him from himself, by Night.

'Tis true, no lover has that pow'r
T' enforce a desperate amour,
As he that has two strings t' his bow,
And burns for love and money too;
For then he's brave and resolute,
Disdains to render in his suit,
Has all his flames and raptures double,
And hangs or drowns with half the trouble,
While those who sillily pursue,
The simple, downright way, and true,
Make as unlucky applications,
And steer against the stream their passions.
Some forge their mistresses of stars,
And when the ladies prove averse,
And more untoward to be won
Than by CALIGULA the Moon,
Cry out upon the stars, for doing
Ill offices to cross their wooing;
When only by themselves they're hindred,
For trusting those they made her kindred;
And still, the harsher and hide-bounder
The damsels prove, become the fonder.
For what mad lover ever dy'd
To gain a soft and gentle bride?
Or for a lady tender-hearted,
In purling streams or hemp departed?
Leap'd headlong int' Elysium,
Through th' windows of a dazzling room?
But for some cross, ill-natur'd dame,
The am'rous fly burnt in his flame.
This to the Knight could be no news,
With all mankind so much in use;
Who therefore took the wiser course,
To make the most of his amours,
Resolv'd to try all sorts of ways,
As follows in due time and place

No sooner was the bloody fight,
Between the Wizard, and the Knight,

[...] Read more

poem by Samuel Butler
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Ocean: An Ode. Concluding with A wish.

I.
Sweet rural scene!
Of flocks and green!
At careless ease my limbs are spread;
All nature still
But yonder rill;
And listening pines not o'er my head:
II
In prospect wide,
The boundless tide!
Waves cease to foam, and winds to roar;
Without a breeze,
The curling seas
Dance on, in measure, to the shore.
III
Who sings the source
Of wealth and force?
Vast field of commerce and big war:
Where wonders dwell!
Where terrors swell!
And Neptune thunders from his car?
IV
Where? where are they,
Whom Pean's ray
Has touch'd, and bid divinely rave?
What, none aspire?
I snatch the lyre,
And plunge into the foaming wave.
V
The wave resounds!
The rock rebounds!
The Nereids to my song reply!
I lead the choir,
And they conspire
With voice and shell to lift it high;
VI
They spread in air
Their bosoms fair;
Their verdant tresses pour behind.
The billows beat
With nimble feet,
With notes triumphant swell the wind.
VII
Who love the shore,
And they conspire
With voice and shell to lift it high;
Let those adore
The God Apollo, and his Nine,
Parnassus' hill,
And Orpheus' skill;

[...] Read more

poem by Edward Young
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Watching You, Watching Me, Watching You, Watching Everyone

So this is Great Britain
A green and pleasant land?
The home of CCTV Camera’s
To get speeding drivers banned

So this is Great Britain
The welfare state, & NHS
Great British Institutions?
Some think they’re in a mess

So this Is Great Britain
That once ruled the waves
An Empire and a Commonwealth?
Now issues ASBO’s if one misbehaves

So this is Great Britain
The Mother of Democracy?
The House of Commons and Lords
Ensuring justice & liberty?

So this is Great Britain
Where God saves the Queen
A land of hope & glory?
You can vote at age eighteen

So this is Great Britain
Are the pensioners in poverty?
They’ve never had it so good?
They’re all having a nice cup of tea

So this is Great Britain
A class system breeding inequality
Education, Education, Education?
Needing a dose of political honesty

So this is Great Britain
Still the mother of the free?
The police, council, & MI5
Are watching you or watching me

poem by Gordon David
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Canto the First

I
I want a hero: an uncommon want,
When every year and month sends forth a new one,
Till, after cloying the gazettes with cant,
The age discovers he is not the true one;
Of such as these I should not care to vaunt,
I'll therefore take our ancient friend Don Juan—
We all have seen him, in the pantomime,
Sent to the devil somewhat ere his time.

II
Vernon, the butcher Cumberland, Wolfe, Hawke,
Prince Ferdinand, Granby, Burgoyne, Keppel, Howe,
Evil and good, have had their tithe of talk,
And fill'd their sign posts then, like Wellesley now;
Each in their turn like Banquo's monarchs stalk,
Followers of fame, "nine farrow" of that sow:
France, too, had Buonaparté and Dumourier
Recorded in the Moniteur and Courier.

III
Barnave, Brissot, Condorcet, Mirabeau,
Petion, Clootz, Danton, Marat, La Fayette,
Were French, and famous people, as we know:
And there were others, scarce forgotten yet,
Joubert, Hoche, Marceau, Lannes, Desaix, Moreau,
With many of the military set,
Exceedingly remarkable at times,
But not at all adapted to my rhymes.

IV
Nelson was once Britannia's god of war,
And still should be so, but the tide is turn'd;
There's no more to be said of Trafalgar,
'T is with our hero quietly inurn'd;
Because the army's grown more popular,
At which the naval people are concern'd;
Besides, the prince is all for the land-service,
Forgetting Duncan, Nelson, Howe, and Jervis.

V
Brave men were living before Agamemnon
And since, exceeding valorous and sage,
A good deal like him too, though quite the same none;
But then they shone not on the poet's page,
And so have been forgotten:—I condemn none,
But can't find any in the present age
Fit for my poem (that is, for my new one);
So, as I said, I'll take my friend Don Juan.

[...] Read more

poem by Byron from Don Juan (1824)
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Carmen Seculare. For the Year 1700. To The King

Thy elder Look, Great Janus, cast
Into the long Records of Ages past:
Review the Years in fairest Action drest
With noted White, Superior to the rest;
Aera's deriv'd, and Chronicles begun
From Empires founded, and from Battels won:
Show all the Spoils by valiant Kings achiev'd,
And groaning Nations by Their Arms reliev'd;
The Wounds of Patriots in their Country's Cause,
And happy Pow'r sustain'd by wholesom Laws:
In comely Rank call ev'ry Merit forth:
Imprint on ev'ry Act it's Standard Worth:
The glorious Parallels then downward bring
To Modern Wonders, and to Britain's King:
With equal Justice and Historic Care
Their Laws, Their Toils, Their Arms with His compare:
Confess the various Attributes of Fame
Collected and compleat in William's Name:
To all the list'ning World relate
(As Thou dost His Story read)
That nothing went before so Great,
And nothing Greater can succeed.
Thy Native Latium was Thy darling Care,
Prudent in Peace, and terrible in War:
The boldest Virtues that have govern'd Earth
From Latium's fruitful Womb derive their Birth.
Then turn to Her fair-written Page:
From dawning Childhood to establish'd Age,
The Glories of Her Empire trace:
Confront the Heroes of Thy Roman Race:
And let the justest Palm the Victor's Temples grace.
The Son of Mars reduc'd the trembling Swains,
And spread His Empire o'er the distant Plains:
But yet the Sabins violated Charms
Obscur'd the Glory of His rising Arms.
Numa the Rights of strict Religion knew;
On ev'ry Altar laid the Incense due;
Unskill'd to dart the pointed Spear,
Or lead the forward Youth to noble War.
Stern Brutus was with too much Horror good,
Holding his Fasces stain'd with Filial Blood.
Fabius was Wise, but with Excess of Care;
He sav'd his Country; but prolonged the War:
While Decius, Paulus, Curius greatly fought;
And by Their strict Examples taught,
How wild Desires should be controll'd;
And how much brighter Virtue was, than Gold;
They scarce Their swelling Thirst of Fame could hide;
And boasted Poverty with too much Pride.
Excess in Youth made Scipio less rever'd:

[...] Read more

poem by Matthew Prior
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On Queen Anne's Peace, Anno 1713

Mother of plenty, daughter of the skies,
Sweet Peace, the troubl'd world's desire, arise;
Around thy poet weave thy summer shades,
Within my fancy spread thy flow'ry meads,
Amongst thy train soft ease and pleasure bring,
And thus indulgent sooth me whilst I sing.

Great Anna claims the song; no brighter name
Adorns the list of never-dying fame,
No fairer soul was ever form'd above,
None e'er was more the grateful nation's love
Nor lov'd the nation more. I fly with speed
To sing such lines as Bolingbroke may read,
On war dispers'd, on faction trampled down,
On all the peaceful glories of the crown.
And if I fail in too confin'd a flight,
May the kind world upon my labours write;
'So fell the lines which strove for endless fame,
'Yet fell attempting on the noblest theme.

Now twelve revolving years has Britain stood
With loss of wealth and vast expence of blood
Europa's Guardian; still her gallant arms
Secur'd Europa from impending harms.
Fair honour, full success, and just applause,
Pursu'd her marches, and adorn'd her cause;
Whilst Gaul, aspiring to erect a throne
O'er other empires, trembled for her own,
Bemoan'd her cities won, her armies slain,
And sunk the thought of universal reign.

When thus reduc'd the world's Invaders lie,
The fears which rack'd the nations, justly die:
Pow'r finds its balance, giddy motions cease
In both the scales, and each inclines to peace.
This fair occasion Providence prepares,
To answer pious Anna's hourly pray'rs,
Which still on warm Devotion's wings arose,
And reaching Heav'n obtain'd the world's repose.

Within the vast expansion of the sky,
Where Orbs of gold in fields of Azure lie,
A glorious palace shines, whose silver ray
Serenely flowing lights the milky way,
The road of angels. Here with speedy care
The summon'd Guardians of the world repair.
When Britain's Angel on the message sent
Speaks Anna's pray'rs and Heaven's supream intent,
That war's destructive arm shou'd humble Gaul,
Spain's parted realms to diff'rent monarchs fall,

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poem by Thomas Parnell
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Canto the Second

I
Oh ye! who teach the ingenuous youth of nations,
Holland, France, England, Germany, or Spain,
I pray ye flog them upon all occasions,
It mends their morals, never mind the pain:
The best of mothers and of educations
In Juan's case were but employ'd in vain,
Since, in a way that's rather of the oddest, he
Became divested of his native modesty.

II
Had he but been placed at a public school,
In the third form, or even in the fourth,
His daily task had kept his fancy cool,
At least, had he been nurtured in the north;
Spain may prove an exception to the rule,
But then exceptions always prove its worth -—
A lad of sixteen causing a divorce
Puzzled his tutors very much, of course.

III
I can't say that it puzzles me at all,
If all things be consider'd: first, there was
His lady-mother, mathematical,
A—never mind; his tutor, an old ass;
A pretty woman (that's quite natural,
Or else the thing had hardly come to pass);
A husband rather old, not much in unity
With his young wife—a time, and opportunity.

IV
Well—well, the world must turn upon its axis,
And all mankind turn with it, heads or tails,
And live and die, make love and pay our taxes,
And as the veering wind shifts, shift our sails;
The king commands us, and the doctor quacks us,
The priest instructs, and so our life exhales,
A little breath, love, wine, ambition, fame,
Fighting, devotion, dust,—perhaps a name.

V
I said that Juan had been sent to Cadiz -—
A pretty town, I recollect it well -—
'T is there the mart of the colonial trade is
(Or was, before Peru learn'd to rebel),
And such sweet girls—I mean, such graceful ladies,
Their very walk would make your bosom swell;
I can't describe it, though so much it strike,
Nor liken it—I never saw the like:

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poem by Byron from Don Juan (1824)
Added by Veronica Serbanoiu
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