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It's hard, or you wouldn't like it. A lot of coaches really don't like what they're doing.

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Steve Jobs

It's really hard to design products by focus groups. A lot of times, people don't know what they want until you show it to them.

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Some May Not Like What They See

With a pinch of anguish.
Seems to always provide,
The correct antidote...
For those arriving from their excursions,
Through the land of intoxicating delusion.

There is no debating about the tour taken.
An awakening comes without question.
Maybe the presence of fear might be there.
Since the shock of seeing things as they are...
Needs little explanation!

Some may not like what they see.
But all agree...
What appears,
Has them all looking at it for what it is!
Even though what it is has been there.
Only a few recognized and knew its power!
Knowing from the very beginning...
An acceptance of shallow fantasies,
Ultimately has its consequences.

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I really don't know what i'm doing here
I really think i should've gone to bed tonight but...
Just one drink
And there're some people to meet you
I think that you'll like them
I have to say we do
And i promise in less than an hour we will honestly go
Now why don't i just get you another
While you just say hello...
Yeah just say hello...
So i'm clutching it tight
Another glass in my hand
And my mouth and the smiles
Moving up as i stand up
Too close and too wide
And the smiles are too bright
And i breathe in too deep
And my head's getting light
But the air is getting heavier and it's closer
And i'm starting to sway
And the hands on all my shoulders don't have names
And they won't go away
So here i go
Here i go again...
Falling into strangers
And it's only just eleven
And i'm staring like a child
Until someone slips me heaven
And i take it on my knees
Just like a thousand times before
And i get transfixed
That fixed
And i'm just looking at the floor
Just looking at the floor
Yeah i look at the floor
And i'm starting to laugh
Like an animal in pain
And i've got blood on my hands
And i've got hands in my brain
And the first short retch
Leaves me gasping for more
And i stagger over screaming
On my way to the floor
And i'm back on my back
With the lights and the lies in my eyes
And the colour and the music's too loud
And my head's all the wrong size
So here i go
Here i go again...
Yeah i laugh and i jump
And i sing and i laugh
And i dance and i laugh
And i laugh and i laugh
And i can't seem to think
Where this is
Who i am
Why i'm keeping this going
Keep pouring it out
Keep pouring it down
And the way the rain comes down hard
That's the way i feel inside...
I can't take it anymore
This it i've become
This is it like i get
When my life's going numb
I just keep moving my mouth
I just keep moving my feet
I say i'm loving you to death
Like i'm losing my breath
And all the smiles that i wear
And all the games that i play
And all the drinks that i mix
And i drink until i'm sick
And all the faces that i make
And all the shapes that i throw
And all the people i meet
And all the words that i know
Makes me sick to the heart
Oh i feel so tired...
And the way the rain comes down hard
That's how i feel inside...

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Homer

The Iliad: Book 7

With these words Hector passed through the gates, and his brother
Alexandrus with him, both eager for the fray. As when heaven sends a
breeze to sailors who have long looked for one in vain, and have
laboured at their oars till they are faint with toil, even so
welcome was the sight of these two heroes to the Trojans.
Thereon Alexandrus killed Menesthius the son of Areithous; he
lived in Ame, and was son of Areithous the Mace-man, and of
Phylomedusa. Hector threw a spear at Eioneus and struck him dead
with a wound in the neck under the bronze rim of his helmet.
Glaucus, moreover, son of Hippolochus, captain of the Lycians, in hard
hand-to-hand fight smote Iphinous son of Dexius on the shoulder, as he
was springing on to his chariot behind his fleet mares; so he fell
to earth from the car, and there was no life left in him.
When, therefore, Minerva saw these men making havoc of the
Argives, she darted down to Ilius from the summits of Olympus, and
Apollo, who was looking on from Pergamus, went out to meet her; for he
wanted the Trojans to be victorious. The pair met by the oak tree, and
King Apollo son of Jove was first to speak. "What would you have
said he, "daughter of great Jove, that your proud spirit has sent
you hither from Olympus? Have you no pity upon the Trojans, and
would you incline the scales of victory in favour of the Danaans?
Let me persuade you- for it will be better thus- stay the combat for
to-day, but let them renew the fight hereafter till they compass the
doom of Ilius, since you goddesses have made up your minds to
destroy the city."
And Minerva answered, "So be it, Far-Darter; it was in this mind
that I came down from Olympus to the Trojans and Achaeans. Tell me,
then, how do you propose to end this present fighting?"
Apollo, son of Jove, replied, "Let us incite great Hector to
challenge some one of the Danaans in single combat; on this the
Achaeans will be shamed into finding a man who will fight him."
Minerva assented, and Helenus son of Priam divined the counsel of
the gods; he therefore went up to Hector and said, "Hector son of
Priam, peer of gods in counsel, I am your brother, let me then
persuade you. Bid the other Trojans and Achaeans all of them take
their seats, and challenge the best man among the Achaeans to meet you
in single combat. I have heard the voice of the ever-living gods,
and the hour of your doom is not yet come."
Hector was glad when he heard this saying, and went in among the
Trojans, grasping his spear by the middle to hold them back, and
they all sat down. Agamemnon also bade the Achaeans be seated. But
Minerva and Apollo, in the likeness of vultures, perched on father
Jove's high oak tree, proud of their men; and the ranks sat close
ranged together, bristling with shield and helmet and spear. As when
the rising west wind furs the face of the sea and the waters grow dark
beneath it, so sat the companies of Trojans and Achaeans upon the
plain. And Hector spoke thus:-
"Hear me, Trojans and Achaeans, that I may speak even as I am
minded; Jove on his high throne has brought our oaths and covenants to
nothing, and foreshadows ill for both of us, till you either take
the towers of Troy, or are yourselves vanquished at your ships. The
princes of the Achaeans are here present in the midst of you; let him,
then, that will fight me stand forward as your champion against
Hector. Thus I say, and may Jove be witness between us. If your
champion slay me, let him strip me of my armour and take it to your
ships, but let him send my body home that the Trojans and their
wives may give me my dues of fire when I am dead. In like manner, if
Apollo vouchsafe me glory and I slay your champion, I will strip him
of his armour and take it to the city of Ilius, where I will hang it
in the temple of Apollo, but I will give up his body, that the
Achaeans may bury him at their ships, and the build him a mound by the
wide waters of the Hellespont. Then will one say hereafter as he sails
his ship over the sea, 'This is the monument of one who died long
since a champion who was slain by mighty Hector.' Thus will one say,
and my fame shall not be lost."
Thus did he speak, but they all held their peace, ashamed to decline
the challenge, yet fearing to accept it, till at last Menelaus rose
and rebuked them, for he was angry. "Alas," he cried, "vain braggarts,
women forsooth not men, double-dyed indeed will be the stain upon us
if no man of the Danaans will now face Hector. May you be turned every
man of you into earth and water as you sit spiritless and inglorious
in your places. I will myself go out against this man, but the
upshot of the fight will be from on high in the hands of the
immortal gods."
With these words he put on his armour; and then, O Menelaus, your
life would have come to an end at the hands of hands of Hector, for he
was far better the man, had not the princes of the Achaeans sprung
upon you and checked you. King Agamemnon caught him by the right
hand and said, "Menelaus, you are mad; a truce to this folly. Be
patient in spite of passion, do not think of fighting a man so much
stronger than yourself as Hector son of Priam, who is feared by many
another as well as you. Even Achilles, who is far more doughty than
you are, shrank from meeting him in battle. Sit down your own
people, and the Achaeans will send some other champion to fight
Hector; fearless and fond of battle though he be, I ween his knees
will bend gladly under him if he comes out alive from the
hurly-burly of this fight."
With these words of reasonable counsel he persuaded his brother,
whereon his squires gladly stripped the armour from off his shoulders.
Then Nestor rose and spoke, "Of a truth," said he, "the Achaean land
is fallen upon evil times. The old knight Peleus, counsellor and
orator among the Myrmidons, loved when I was in his house to
question me concerning the race and lineage of all the Argives. How
would it not grieve him could he hear of them as now quailing before
Hector? Many a time would he lift his hands in prayer that his soul
might leave his body and go down within the house of Hades. Would,
by father Jove, Minerva, and Apollo, that I were still young and
strong as when the Pylians and Arcadians were gathered in fight by the
rapid river Celadon under the walls of Pheia, and round about the
waters of the river Iardanus. The godlike hero Ereuthalion stood
forward as their champion, with the armour of King Areithous upon
his shoulders- Areithous whom men and women had surnamed 'the
Mace-man,' because he fought neither with bow nor spear, but broke the
battalions of the foe with his iron mace. Lycurgus killed him, not
in fair fight, but by entrapping him in a narrow way where his mace
served him in no stead; for Lycurgus was too quick for him and speared
him through the middle, so he fell to earth on his back. Lycurgus then
spoiled him of the armour which Mars had given him, and bore it in
battle thenceforward; but when he grew old and stayed at home, he gave
it to his faithful squire Ereuthalion, who in this same armour
challenged the foremost men among us. The others quaked and quailed,
but my high spirit bade me fight him though none other would
venture; I was the youngest man of them all; but when I fought him
Minerva vouchsafed me victory. He was the biggest and strongest man
that ever I killed, and covered much ground as he lay sprawling upon
the earth. Would that I were still young and strong as I then was, for
the son of Priam would then soon find one who would face him. But you,
foremost among the whole host though you be, have none of you any
stomach for fighting Hector."
Thus did the old man rebuke them, and forthwith nine men started
to their feet. Foremost of all uprose King Agamemnon, and after him
brave Diomed the son of Tydeus. Next were the two Ajaxes, men
clothed in valour as with a garment, and then Idomeneus, and
Meriones his brother in arms. After these Eurypylus son of Euaemon,
Thoas the son of Andraemon, and Ulysses also rose. Then Nestor
knight of Gerene again spoke, saying: "Cast lots among you to see
who shall be chosen. If he come alive out of this fight he will have
done good service alike to his own soul and to the Achaeans."
Thus he spoke, and when each of them had marked his lot, and had
thrown it into the helmet of Agamemnon son of Atreus, the people
lifted their hands in prayer, and thus would one of them say as he
looked into the vault of heaven, "Father Jove, grant that the lot fall
on Ajax, or on the son of Tydeus, or upon the king of rich Mycene
himself."
As they were speaking, Nestor knight of Gerene shook the helmet, and
from it there fell the very lot which they wanted- the lot of Ajax.
The herald bore it about and showed it to all the chieftains of the
Achaeans, going from left to right; but they none of of them owned it.
When, however, in due course he reached the man who had written upon
it and had put it into the helmet, brave Ajax held out his hand, and
the herald gave him the lot. When Ajax saw him mark he knew it and was
glad; he threw it to the ground and said, "My friends, the lot is
mine, and I rejoice, for I shall vanquish Hector. I will put on my
armour; meanwhile, pray to King Jove in silence among yourselves
that the Trojans may not hear you- or aloud if you will, for we fear
no man. None shall overcome me, neither by force nor cunning, for I
was born and bred in Salamis, and can hold my own in all things."
With this they fell praying to King Jove the son of Saturn, and thus
would one of them say as he looked into the vault of heaven, "Father
Jove that rulest from Ida, most glorious in power, vouchsafe victory
to Ajax, and let him win great glory: but if you wish well to Hector
also and would protect him, grant to each of them equal fame and
prowess.
Thus they prayed, and Ajax armed himself in his suit of gleaming
bronze. When he was in full array he sprang forward as monstrous
Mars when he takes part among men whom Jove has set fighting with
one another- even so did huge Ajax, bulwark of the Achaeans, spring
forward with a grim smile on his face as he brandished his long
spear and strode onward. The Argives were elated as they beheld him,
but the Trojans trembled in every limb, and the heart even of Hector
beat quickly, but he could not now retreat and withdraw into the ranks
behind him, for he had been the challenger. Ajax came up bearing his
shield in front of him like a wall- a shield of bronze with seven
folds of oxhide- the work of Tychius, who lived in Hyle and was by far
the best worker in leather. He had made it with the hides of seven
full-fed bulls, and over these he had set an eighth layer of bronze.
Holding this shield before him, Ajax son of Telamon came close up to
Hector, and menaced him saying, "Hector, you shall now learn, man to
man, what kind of champions the Danaans have among them even besides
lion-hearted Achilles cleaver of the ranks of men. He now abides at
the ships in anger with Agamemnon shepherd of his people, but there
are many of us who are well able to face you; therefore begin the
fight."
And Hector answered, "Noble Ajax, son of Telamon, captain of the
host, treat me not as though I were some puny boy or woman that cannot
fight. I have been long used to the blood and butcheries of battle.
I am quick to turn my leathern shield either to right or left, for
this I deem the main thing in battle. I can charge among the
chariots and horsemen, and in hand to hand fighting can delight the
heart of Mars; howbeit I would not take such a man as you are off
his guard- but I will smite you openly if I can."
He poised his spear as he spoke, and hurled it from him. It struck
the sevenfold shield in its outermost layer- the eighth, which was
of bronze- and went through six of the layers but in the seventh
hide it stayed. Then Ajax threw in his turn, and struck the round
shield of the son of Priam. The terrible spear went through his
gleaming shield, and pressed onward through his cuirass of cunning
workmanship; it pierced the shirt against his side, but he swerved and
thus saved his life. They then each of them drew out the spear from
his shield, and fell on one another like savage lions or wild boars of
great strength and endurance: the son of Priam struck the middle of
Ajax's shield, but the bronze did not break, and the point of his dart
was turned. Ajax then sprang forward and pierced the shield of Hector;
the spear went through it and staggered him as he was springing
forward to attack; it gashed his neck and the blood came pouring
from the wound, but even so Hector did not cease fighting; he gave
ground, and with his brawny hand seized a stone, rugged and huge, that
was lying upon the plain; with this he struck the shield of Ajax on
the boss that was in its middle, so that the bronze rang again. But
Ajax in turn caught up a far larger stone, swung it aloft, and
hurled it with prodigious force. This millstone of a rock broke
Hector's shield inwards and threw him down on his back with the shield
crushing him under it, but Apollo raised him at once. Thereon they
would have hacked at one another in close combat with their swords,
had not heralds, messengers of gods and men, come forward, one from
the Trojans and the other from the Achaeans- Talthybius and Idaeus
both of them honourable men; these parted them with their staves,
and the good herald Idaeus said, "My sons, fight no longer, you are
both of you valiant, and both are dear to Jove; we know this; but
night is now falling, and the behests of night may not be well
gainsaid."
Ajax son of Telamon answered, "Idaeus, bid Hector say so, for it was
he that challenged our princes. Let him speak first and I will
accept his saying."
Then Hector said, "Ajax, heaven has vouchsafed you stature and
strength, and judgement; and in wielding the spear you excel all
others of the Achaeans. Let us for this day cease fighting;
hereafter we will fight anew till heaven decide between us, and give
victory to one or to the other; night is now falling, and the
behests of night may not be well gainsaid. Gladden, then, the hearts
of the Achaeans at your ships, and more especially those of your own
followers and clansmen, while I, in the great city of King Priam,
bring comfort to the Trojans and their women, who vie with one another
in their prayers on my behalf. Let us, moreover, exchange presents
that it may be said among the Achaeans and Trojans, 'They fought
with might and main, but were reconciled and parted in friendship.'
On this he gave Ajax a silver-studded sword with its sheath and
leathern baldric, and in return Ajax gave him a girdle dyed with
purple. Thus they parted, the one going to the host of the Achaeans,
and the other to that of the Trojans, who rejoiced when they saw their
hero come to them safe and unharmed from the strong hands of mighty
Ajax. They led him, therefore, to the city as one that had been
saved beyond their hopes. On the other side the Achaeans brought
Ajax elated with victory to Agamemnon.
When they reached the quarters of the son of Atreus, Agamemnon
sacrificed for them a five-year-old bull in honour of Jove the son
of Saturn. They flayed the carcass, made it ready, and divided it into
joints; these they cut carefully up into smaller pieces, putting
them on the spits, roasting them sufficiently, and then drawing them
off. When they had done all this and had prepared the feast, they
ate it, and every man had his full and equal share, so that all were
satisfied, and King Agamemnon gave Ajax some slices cut lengthways
down the loin, as a mark of special honour. As soon as they had had
enough to cat and drink, old Nestor whose counsel was ever truest
began to speak; with all sincerity and goodwill, therefore, he
addressed them thus:-
"Son of Atreus, and other chieftains, inasmuch as many of the
Achaeans are now dead, whose blood Mars has shed by the banks of the
Scamander, and their souls have gone down to the house of Hades, it
will be well when morning comes that we should cease fighting; we will
then wheel our dead together with oxen and mules and burn them not far
from the ships, that when we sail hence we may take the bones of our
comrades home to their children. Hard by the funeral pyre we will
build a barrow that shall be raised from the plain for all in
common; near this let us set about building a high wall, to shelter
ourselves and our ships, and let it have well-made gates that there
may be a way through them for our chariots. Close outside we will
dig a deep trench all round it to keep off both horse and foot, that
the Trojan chieftains may not bear hard upon us."
Thus he spoke, and the princess shouted in applause. Meanwhile the
Trojans held a council, angry and full of discord, on the acropolis by
the gates of King Priam's palace; and wise Antenor spoke. "Hear me
he said, "Trojans, Dardanians, and allies, that I may speak even as
I am minded. Let us give up Argive Helen and her wealth to the sons of
Atreus, for we are now fighting in violation of our solemn
covenants, and shall not prosper till we have done as I say."
He then sat down and Alexandrus husband of lovely Helen rose to
speak. "Antenor," said he, "your words are not to my liking; you can
find a better saying than this if you will; if, however, you have
spoken in good earnest, then indeed has heaven robbed you of your
reason. I will speak plainly, and hereby notify to the Trojans that
I will not give up the woman; but the wealth that I brought home
with her from Argos I will restore, and will add yet further of my
own."
On this, when Paris had spoken and taken his seat, Priam of the race
of Dardanus, peer of gods in council, rose and with all sincerity
and goodwill addressed them thus: "Hear me, Trojans, Dardanians, and
allies, that I may speak even as I am minded. Get your suppers now
as hitherto throughout the city, but keep your watches and be wakeful.
At daybreak let Idaeus go to the ships, and tell Agamemnon and
Menelaus sons of Atreus the saying of Alexandrus through whom this
quarrel has come about; and let him also be instant with them that
they now cease fighting till we burn our dead; hereafter we will fight
anew, till heaven decide between us and give victory to one or to
the other."
Thus did he speak, and they did even as he had said. They took
supper in their companies and at daybreak Idaeus went his wa to the
ships. He found the Danaans, servants of Mars, in council at the stern
of Agamemnon's ship, and took his place in the midst of them. "Son
of Atreus," he said, "and princes of the Achaean host, Priam and the
other noble Trojans have sent me to tell you the saying of
Alexandrus through whom this quarrel has come about, if so be that you
may find it acceptable. All the treasure he took with him in his ships
to Troy- would that he had sooner perished- he will restore, and
will add yet further of his own, but he will not give up the wedded
wife of Menelaus, though the Trojans would have him do so. Priam
bade me inquire further if you will cease fighting till we burn our
dead; hereafter we will fight anew, till heaven decide between us
and give victory to one or to the other."
They all held their peace, but presently Diomed of the loud
war-cry spoke, saying, "Let there be no taking, neither treasure,
nor yet Helen, for even a child may see that the doom of the Trojans
is at hand."
The sons of the Achaeans shouted applause at the words that Diomed
had spoken, and thereon King Agamemnon said to Idaeus, "Idaeus, you
have heard the answer the Achaeans make you-and I with them. But as
concerning the dead, I give you leave to burn them, for when men are
once dead there should be no grudging them the rites of fire. Let Jove
the mighty husband of Juno be witness to this covenant."
As he spoke he upheld his sceptre in the sight of all the gods,
and Idaeus went back to the strong city of Ilius. The Trojans and
Dardanians were gathered in council waiting his return; when he
came, he stood in their midst and delivered his message. As soon as
they heard it they set about their twofold labour, some to gather
the corpses, and others to bring in wood. The Argives on their part
also hastened from their ships, some to gather the corpses, and others
to bring in wood.
The sun was beginning to beat upon the fields, fresh risen into
the vault of heaven from the slow still currents of deep Oceanus, when
the two armies met. They could hardly recognise their dead, but they
washed the clotted gore from off them, shed tears over them, and
lifted them upon their waggons. Priam had forbidden the Trojans to
wail aloud, so they heaped their dead sadly and silently upon the
pyre, and having burned them went back to the city of Ilius. The
Achaeans in like manner heaped their dead sadly and silently on the
pyre, and having burned them went back to their ships.
Now in the twilight when it was not yet dawn, chosen bands of the
Achaeans were gathered round the pyre and built one barrow that was
raised in common for all, and hard by this they built a high wall to
shelter themselves and their ships; they gave it strong gates that
there might be a way through them for their chariots, and close
outside it they dug a trench deep and wide, and they planted it within
with stakes.
Thus did the Achaeans toil, and the gods, seated by the side of Jove
the lord of lightning, marvelled at their great work; but Neptune,
lord of the earthquake, spoke, saying, "Father Jove, what mortal in
the whole world will again take the gods into his counsel? See you not
how the Achaeans have built a wall about their ships and driven a
trench all round it, without offering hecatombs to the gods? The The
fame of this wall will reach as far as dawn itself, and men will no
longer think anything of the one which Phoebus Apollo and myself built
with so much labour for Laomedon."
Jove was displeased and answered, "What, O shaker of the earth,
are you talking about? A god less powerful than yourself might be
alarmed at what they are doing, but your fame reaches as far as dawn
itself. Surely when the Achaeans have gone home with their ships,
you can shatter their wall and Ring it into the sea; you can cover the
beach with sand again, and the great wall of the Achaeans will then be
utterly effaced."
Thus did they converse, and by sunset the work of the Achaeans was
completed; they then slaughtered oxen at their tents and got their
supper. Many ships had come with wine from Lemnos, sent by Euneus
the son of Jason, born to him by Hypsipyle. The son of Jason freighted
them with ten thousand measures of wine, which he sent specially to
the sons of Atreus, Agamemnon and Menelaus. From this supply the
Achaeans bought their wine, some with bronze, some with iron, some
with hides, some with whole heifers, and some again with captives.
They spread a goodly banquet and feasted the whole night through, as
also did the Trojans and their allies in the city. But all the time
Jove boded them ill and roared with his portentous thunder. Pale
fear got hold upon them, and they spilled the wine from their cups
on to the ground, nor did any dare drink till he had made offerings to
the most mighty son of Saturn. Then they laid themselves down to
rest and enjoyed the boon of sleep.

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Do You Know What They Are Doing?

slowly
they burn
little things
at night
to build
a fire

you know
what they
are really
doing?

they are
gathering
little things
to keep
the fire
alive

and they
keep telling
stories
to keep
themselves
intact.

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I have things planned for every character like what they're doing down the road and coming to different realizations but I don't have how they overlap.

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Leonardo DiCaprio

I really don't know what I'm doing... I don't. It's terrible. I go in there and I learn how to be like the character and do the best I can, and that's all I really do.

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If you want to solve very complex problems, you will have to end up letting machines work out a lot of the details for themselves, and in ways that we don't understand what they are doing.

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In any given society the Remnant are always so largely an unknown quantity. You do not know, and will never know, more than two things about them. You can be sure of those — dead sure, as our phrase is — but you will never be able to make even a respectable guess at anything else. You do not know, and will never know, who the Remnant are, nor what they are doing or will do. Two things you do know, and no more: First, that they exist; second, that they will find you. Except for these two certainties, working for the Remnant means working in impenetrable darkness; and this, I should say, is just the condition calculated most effectively to pique the interest of any prophet who is properly gifted with the imagination, insight and intellectual curiosity necessary to a successful pursuit of his trade.

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Calling Home

I always forget and say have a good day

I am friendly
with people I just met
and don't know
and they think that is strange.

I offer sympathy
but understand that I don't really
understand the awfulness
I sometimes hear.

I confess
I do not really like most of people here
they act weird.

I am the most colossal case of mistaken identify
and no one seems to see me
or understand me
and I can't tell them
who I am;
I am not sure myself.

I am only sure
I not who they think I am.

I can be in a crowd and suddenly feel sick
when I realize
no one knows I'm there.
I look at others-
especially the talkative ones-
and feel jealous.

I am prettier when I smile-
that what they tell me.

I like this boy
he likes me
but he doesn't act like it.

Sometimes everyone knows
what they are doing
but me.

But I don't like what they are doing.
I don't like it here.
It is cold.
Ok.
Goodbye.

Thanks Mom for listening.

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Something That I Have Not Touched With My Hands

while in bed i am enumerating a lot of things
that i really don't know
what they are and where they come from
and what use could they be

in my emptiness i think that something fuller this time
is what i need
like hot water perhaps for a cup for an afternoon tea
but the image is too ordinary for a whim

of this imagination something's got to be better this time
something that i have not touched with my hand
that i have not tasted with my tongue
i know, i know what it is, but i know that i cannot have it

and so i just lay in bed, enumerate the other things
silly and wise, and empty and full, and paths and mountains
and labyrinths, until i am a flash in full speed of images
until i am sleepy and then i forget what is it that i know that i want and yet

i cannot have
and i begin counting sheep and ships and imagine the whole ocean blanket
to my body and
face and then
i sleep

i am tired and when this happens
i do not mind what happens next and
i do not wish about anything

i am done.

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I love you, Jonnyboy.

So this is your gravestone, huh.

It's just like your mom said.

Kinda pretty, actually.

You wouldn't like it.

It's not manly enough for you.

...

Why do people do it?

Why YOU, Jonnyboy?

Expecially during graduation time.

The kids are trying to take final exams, for gods sake!

You were going to graduate on Friday, Jonnyboy.

...

It disrupted the whole community.

I couldnt have been THAT bad.

It was just a girl, a stupid girl.

A girl, Jonnyboy.

It's hard to belive you thought no one would care.

You should have seen the people at your funeral.

...

And why at a party?

Dont you think it was a little bit scary?

For all those kids to find you like that?

...

You know what, Jonnyboy?

Whatever.

It was your choice.

I love you, Jonnyboy.

See you next Sunday.

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I Hope You Wouldn't Mind

i have blind spots
i sometimes do not see what you see clearly
and i stumble down upon some thorns
and hurt myself
unnecessarily and i look at myself in the mirror
like a curious child wanting to see
who i am and what i am
only to find some wrinkles
in my mind

i hope you wouldn't mind if i tell you
that you and me have some things in common
blind in some ways and seeing well in others

i live in an island and there is a rock there
and a red rose that i keep all day
i like you to live with me
for i may have the eyes that see the rising and setting of the sun
and the hands and fingers that feel the warmth and the coldness
of the seasons that whirl around my head

may i ask you to please bring your heart
for i have long lost mine
it was taken by someone who promised to live with me here

that bird flew away taking from my lexicon
the word 'forever'

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When You're Looking Like That (Single Remix)

She's a five foot ten
A catsuit and Bambi eyes
Everybody who's staring
Wouldn't believe that this girl was mine
I should have known I was wrong
When I left her for a life in pity
But they say you never miss the water until it's gone

Guess I failed to love you
And you're taking it out tonight

Chorus
How am I supposed to leave you now
When you're looking like that
I can't believe what I just gave away
Now I can't take it back
I don't wanna get lost
I don't wanna live my life without you
How am I supposed to leave you now
When you're looking like that

She's all dressed up
For glamour and rock and roll
Wanna squeeze her real tight
Get out of this place
If onyl I can take control
But she's out of my life forever
And just a week ago she laid next to me

It's so ironic how
I had to lose just to see

That I failed to love you
And you're taking it out tonight

Chorus

I don't wanna forget you
I don't even wanna try
How am I supposed to walk on by
When you're looking like that

How am I supposed to leave you
I can't believe what I just gave away
Oh no

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When You're Looking Like That

She's a 5 foot 10 in catsuit
and bambi eyes
Everybody who's staring wouldn't
believe that this girl was mine

I should have known I was wrong
When I left her for a life in pity but
they say you you never miss
the water until it's gone (yeah)

Guess I failed to love you
And you're taking it out tonight

How am I supposed to leave you now
When you're looking like that
I can't believe what I just gave away
Now I can't take it back
I don't wanna get lost
I don't wanna live my life without you
Am I supposed to leave you now
When you're looking like that

She's all dressed up for glamour and
rock and roll
Wanna squeeze her real tight
Get out of this place
If only I could take control

But she's out of my reach forever
And just a week ago she lied
next to me
It's so ironic how I had to lose
Just to see
That I failed to love you
And you're taking it out tonight

(Chorus)

I don't wanna forget you
I don't even wanna try
How am I supposed to walk on by
When you're looking like that

How am I supposed to leave you
I can't believe what I just gave away
'Cause I can't take it back

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Everyone Here Is Working Hard For You

Do you realize how many poems I've seen,
That you have written?

'No!
How many have you actually 'read'? '

Comeon...
You are not aware of this at all?
I read a few but not all.

'I am aware that I am a writer.
Not an accountant.
Nor someone who sets limits,
To achieve a final goal.
Or someone seeking to impress.

Each day presents its own personality.
I'm learnig to appreciate quality and not quantity.
There is something about life I more understand each day.
My personal awareness of 'that' is what I keep addressed.'

Oh...
So what is that?
If you don't mind me asking?

'I know I am not alone...
Even though I perceive I am on my own!
I hear voices clearly say to me,
Everyone here is working hard for you.
That you must believe.'

I see.
And that makes you produce quality you don't notice?
An involvement you keep distanced?

'I did not say I didn't notice the quality.
Painfully that's done.
I don't put my sights on 'quantity'.
I don't want to overwhelm.
As much as I choose to stun!
And that takes paying attention to everyone! '

Like the voices heard in your head?

'You see...
You're trying to take this somewhere else.
And what you are 'attempting' to imply...
I'm not wasting any more of my time to listen to!
Read more than you do.
And if there is any comprehension to communicate,
You need not announce that to me! '

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Hope You Love Me Like You Say You Do

M. duke
What does a girl like you, see in a man like me ?
Just cause I love you baby, dont think Ill be,
Just what you want me to be.
Ooh, yes Im stubborn, Im hard headed, but baby I love you.
And I hope you love me like you say I do.
And I hope you love me like you say I do.
You know in todays world, a woman feels, she must be free.
Ooh, thats ok, its only right, but will you still, love me ?
Ooh, yes Im strong, but Im weak, when it comes down to lovin you.
And I hope you love me like you say I do.
And I hope you love me like you say I do.
If you do, let me here you say:
Yeah, (yeah), yeah, (yeah),
I hope you do
I hope you do
Yeah, (yeah), yeah, (yeah),
Ooh, ooh, tell me
Im so glad that you love me I think of all the love we will make
And how was it said, that the love that you give, is equal to the love you take
Ooh, Im suspicious, and Im jealous, when it comes down to loving you.
And I hope you love me like you say I do.
And I hope you love me like you say I do.
And I hope you love me like you say I do. ooh yeah
And I hope you love me like you say I do.
And I hope you love me like you say I do. tell me baby
And I hope you love me like you say I do. (yeah)
And I hope you love me like you say I do. hope you love me like you say I do.
And I hope you love me like you say I do. hope you love me.
And I hope you love me like you say I do. do you really love me ?
And I hope you love me like you say I do. (yeah)
And I hope you love me like you say I do. (yeah)

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You Wouldn't Know

If I did not love what I do...
You wouldn't know,
What it was I loved.

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Don't Change What You Like In Yourself

Don't change what you like in yourself
But change what you don't like in yourself

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You Treat Me Like A Football

I can’t forget those days baby
No I can't forget at all
When you used to love me madly
When I was only your doll!

You have loose character
I have known it later
It has driven me crazy
Baby I feel so lonely!

Baby I am not bad at all
But you treat me like a football
That’s why now I curse you
But I pray for you too!

Baby now I hate you
As much as I love you
You are like my favorite food
Baby I am not very good!

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